Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Thumb Butler]

A how-to for Jake to improve the world.
View attachment 1845434

This might come in useful, if 2021 keeps going at this rate.

 

[nicetry]

At least he's reaching within his means. If he took a shot at something like the Zork 1 map his head would spin right off his fat shoulders.

JAKE HAS BEEN EATEN BY EATEN LIKE A GRUE

lord dimwit flatnostril the massive, yon name is jake

 

[Water-T]

He's routinely claimed the pictures of him are just random fat guys with beards. He may actually be that autistic. He may not even realize his nostrils are so identifying that they're more or less fingerprints. Look at this nostriled faggot.

View attachment 1846150
No other human has these nostrils.

Can you imagine the noise that emanates from that gnome when it sleeps?

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

I don't think Jake is under the delusion that he's attractive. That's not really how Jake's ego expresses itself. Jake is instead under the delusion that he's intelligent, and that his intelligence is so great and so far ahead of that of anyone reading his tweets that he can deftly spin lies about what's going on in his life. He's not trying to convince anyone that he's good looking, he's trying to convince people that he's being accused of being good looking.

Of course, Jake is not intelligent, and is in fact so stupid that he doesn't realize that even if an undoubtedly beautiful woman claimed that she was being accused of being "effortlessly hot", it would be perceived by readers to be an arrogant attempt at a humblebrag, so when an ogre like Jake makes the claim, it comes off both as a lie and as something incredibly arrogant to say.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

I don't think Jake is under the delusion that he's attractive. That's not really how Jake's ego expresses itself. Jake is instead under the delusion that he's intelligent, and that his intelligence is so great and so far ahead of that of anyone reading his tweets that he can deftly spin lies about what's going on in his life. He's not trying to convince anyone that he's good looking, he's trying to convince people that he's being accused of being good looking.

Of course, Jake is not intelligent, and is in fact so stupid that he doesn't realize that even if an undoubtedly beautiful woman claimed that she was being accused of being "effortlessly hot", it would be perceived by readers to be an arrogant attempt at a humblebrag, so when an ogre like Jake makes the claim, it fails both as a lie and is an incredibly arrogant to say.

He's trying to fit in among the troons and they're all insane agp narcissists. He's even taken and posted selfies among weird claims about his huge D-cup bust, wolf-whistling and male nurses perving on him. Even before he got on the horse piss he once tweeted that he would be a smoking hot milf if he was on it for five years. (looked up the tweet, it was in November 2018, shortly before he left home and started to troon out)

Not only is his nose unique, he's got pigs feet!

 

[Owlery]

I wonder if his nostrils whistle when he breathes out of them

 

[soulless guarantee]

I assume that yon maiden is a literal, card-carrying mouth breather.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I assume that yon maiden is a literal, card-carrying mouth breather.

It could hardly be otherwise.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

He's trying to fit in among the troons and they're all insane agp narcissists. He's even taken and posted selfies among weird claims about his huge D-cup bust, wolf-whistling and male nurses perving on him. Even before he got on the horse piss he once tweeted that he would be a smoking hot milf if he was on it for five years. (looked up the tweet, it was in November 2018, shortly before he left home and started to troon out)

Not only is his nose unique, he's got pigs feet!
View attachment 1846648

Pretty sure he has a humiliation fetish. Often, his Tales of Womanhood revolve around sexual humiliation in some form, whether it’s “oh no my nipples are really hard and everyone can see” or “I’m in the hospital and I pass as a woman and they don’t believe I’m trans and I’m only wearing a hospital gown and there are lots of doctors standing around and staring at my genitals and I can’t escape and ohhh excuse me I need to change yon sweatpants.” It always reads like bad self-insert erotica. I suspect that’s also the root of his transformation fetish - suddenly being turned into a beautiful, objectified woman.

 

[AnOminous]

Of course, Jake is not intelligent, and is in fact so stupid that he doesn't realize that even if an undoubtedly beautiful woman claimed that she was being accused of being "effortlessly hot", it would be perceived by readers to be an arrogant attempt at a humblebrag, so when an ogre like Jake makes the claim, it comes off both as a lie and as something incredibly arrogant to say.

Jake literally doesn't realize he has a two digit IQ.

I suspect that’s also the root of his transformation fetish - suddenly being turned into a beautiful, objectified woman.

Meanwhile he's actually a gross uggo and everyone is disgusted by his obese presence.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Pretty sure he has a humiliation fetish. Often, his Tales of Womanhood revolve around sexual humiliation in some form

I kind of suspect he just picked that up from the bottom-of-the-barrel coomers he associates with.
Remember, he was also confused because he's the only one of his "friends" not enthusiastic about his girldick.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I wonder if his nostrils whistle when he breathes out of them

I assume it’s more of flapping sound. Like a fart escaping from a flabby butt.

 

[Hog On Ice]

Jake also has the most stereotypical "fat nerd" voice straight out of an 80s teen comedy, which he broadcasts seemingly without shame. Even someone who's never seen the beard photos could reconstruct them down to the last pixel after listening to one of his streams.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I was curious if Jake ever made reference to using his vestigial nasal passages, and apparently he does claim they work. (All quotes from Discord)

Culinary abortions make his nose run:

also wow I maybe shouldn't have done green salsa, jalapenos AND hot sauce
I have successfully turned my nose into a faucet

Filthy uncleaned catboxes usually don't bother him, but one day, they did:

... I would very much appreciate someone to come over and clean my catboxes, open my windows, and set up some fans today.
Or a mask of some kind.
Normally it's not an issue, but... one of them rolled a nat 20 against my nose today

Aestheticians used the jaws of life to insert a fan in his nose (???) while attempting to laser off his Aristotelian beard:

for me, the fan up my nose was way worse than any pain

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

... I would very much appreciate someone to come over and clean my catboxes, open my windows, and set up some fans today.

Holy shit is he lazy.

I wonder if he does ANYTHING for himself, or if he just wails and whines till everyone does it for him.

 

[lecher]

Holy shit is he lazy.

I wonder if he does ANYTHING for himself, or if he just wails and whines till everyone does it for him.

Yeah.

Jake is beautiful.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

He thinks it makes him sound like a helpless, tiny woman, which is in itself misogynistic, but it becomes absurd when it’s a hulking, overweight bearded man.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Jake is fat:

 

[Kane Lives]

Jake is fat:
View attachment 1850295

"Joke of a BMI number". You mean the BMI number that normal healthy humans have 95% of the time?

 

[Kosher Dill]

"Living at the gym"

Still deadlifting that empty bar, I'm sure.