Kirby
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2015
According to the employees at Sears, they never remember seeing a woman Shaner's age or younger to visit him at work or at the railroads he frequented. You can be sure that if he did have a real girlfriend, he wouldn't hesitate to show her off or take a million pictures. But no. Shaner's experience with women hasn't extended beyond his hand and the Internet.
There was a 50 year old woman named Sheila who started worked for Sears when she was 18 in a number different positions, all over the country. Sheila was and still is fit as fuck for a woman her age. The fact that she was smart and funny in addition to being a widow, made her attractive to a lot of us. Most of all, Len, whom she tolerated and seemed to understand his case of autism. She was nicer to Len than any of us really were and went out of her way to help him. Len's crush grew to the point where she would just laugh off his "Hello, Missus Shaner" when he saw her. Len mistook her kindness for flirting because he's dumb.
According to Ted, on one of her last nights at work before retirement, they were closing up and Len was about leave (because he never helped with closing) and he begged Sheila for a hug goodbye. Len is nothing if not fat and sweaty from minimal movement. So, as a kindness, she did one of those ass out, one-handed back pats. Len wrapped his arms around her and tried to plant one on her face. Sheila wrenched out of his grip immediately and hooked him with such a right cross "she straightened his lazy eye long enough for him to see stars." Immediately, instead of apologizing he went to Ted, who saw the whole incident, to complain that Sheila hit him and wanted her reprimanded. Ted sent him home and Sheila told Ted that "she didn't want anyone to deal with any shit her last week" so she didn't make a stink about it. Len did get a fat purple welt on his cheek from it.
The Friday of her last day, we all had plans to meet up with her at Sly Fox which is just down the street. It was a huge party. Len wanted to go, not to apologize for his behavior, but because he admitted he wanted to talk to Sheila's friends who were admittedly hot themselves (and basically sluts). Len was told in no uncertain terms that "if you even come within ten feet of the bar, we're going to kick the fucking shit out of you." He pleaded, blubbering that he didn't even drink and wouldn't be a nuisance. No one was having it. It ended up being a group of L&G, Auto, and Hardware basically standing in a half-circle with folded arms, shaking their heads. He bit his lip, eyes preemptively leaking saltwater as he shuffled out of the store.
So ends the saga of Len Casanova.
I can confirm 100% that this happened