- Joined
- Jan 22, 2019
Wait, does Tess have a cat? I think the cactus thing in the background is a scratching post. I’ve seen it advertised on instagram for $300
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
yousoundlikeanasshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2020
Yeah. I think she had 3 when she was living with Nick, but I've only seen her with the grey one in the new place.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2020
Wait, so her tik tok is back?
I believe she has two cats. // ninja'd
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
And thus, Buffalo Bowie was born
"Would you sit on a cake for me? I'd sit on one....hard"
"It puts the filler in its lips or else it gets the hose again!"
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2018
I'm appalled by the lack of books in Bowie's room. Tesla's idol, Dolly Parton has really shocked her buns working to address and help with childhood illiteracy with her Imagination Library (which is, even to a curmudgeonly old fuck like me a genuinely wonderful initiative) so youd think tess would have a fucking clue.
Of all the god awful things wrong with tess as a human and mother, how bare that room is bothered me most of all. It is the room of an unwanted, attention deprived child.
Of all the god awful things wrong with tess as a human and mother, how bare that room is bothered me most of all. It is the room of an unwanted, attention deprived child.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
"He has a tablet AND a TV what else does he need?!"
She made this post on IG back in October- claiming she reads to him every night and making the post all about herself as usual. I don’t think she actually reads to him every night as it’s never been mentioned again and she’s probably too stoned by bedtime to read even a picture book.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
My cat lady autism compels me:
Before that, she had a gray tabby named Parfait, who is being "fostered" by one of Tess's fatgirl orbiters until the day Tess is able to have three cats again. Which means never, but the orbiter seems nice, so it looks like Parfait at least got a decent home.
She has two cats living with her--Smokey (gray) and Bandit (black). She and Nick got them as kittens.
Before that, she had a gray tabby named Parfait, who is being "fostered" by one of Tess's fatgirl orbiters until the day Tess is able to have three cats again. Which means never, but the orbiter seems nice, so it looks like Parfait at least got a decent home.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Buying things for Bowie means less money for Tess to blow on booze, cakes, weed, and makeup that is pointlessly and literally putting lipstick on a pig.
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- Joined
- Jul 22, 2020
Yeah she thinks this IG caption makes her look like a good MAWM when really she's telling on herself.
1. It is assumed that parents (often mothers but, ya know, hashtag equality) read to their children daily. It is essential for a number of reasons of which I will assume you are all already aware. She would not feel the need to elaborate on their "daily reading practice" if it were in fact a regular thing. Think how Instagram shills and Youtubers will, apropos of nothing, start off a "Paid Promotion" video or post with "So you guys all KNOW how much I love this (skincare/subscription box/other useless crap)." She's exhibiting that same behavior but with mothering her own children. For any Kiwis who aren't parents or who don't have much experience with children, imagine replacing "I read books with Bowie every night just like I did with Rylee" with "I feed Bowie dinner every night just like I did with Rylee." It's nonsensical. Taking any time at all to establish what should be a foregone conclusion is pretty clear indication of dishonesty.
2. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is appropriate for children aged 2-7. Bowie, aged 4 (if I recall correctly), should have been exposed to this book, that Tess allegedly has been carting around with her since Rylee was a baby, a really long time ago. Tess is constantly high and/or drunk and I find it extremely unlikely that she is the kind of mother to rotate Bowie's available stock of books for enrichment and variety. She can't even keep him on a consistent sleep schedule. This leads me to believe that Bowie doesn't have access to books that would be considered developmentally appropriate for his age.
Tldr; Dolly Parton, the patron saint of reading to children, is ashamed of you Tess. It continues to baffle and enrage me that Tess ended up on the cover of a parenting magazine.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
Tess only knows about Dolly the kitch icon, not Dolly the musical pioneer, smart business woman, or philanthropist.
Are there more pictures of Bowie's room besides the one of him in the bunk bed?
I’ve only seen one or two photos of his room from the same angle, just showing a bed and a rug. I guess we’ll have to peep at Olly’s insta stories for a better photo of 4 year old Bowie’s bedroom since they are bunk mates.
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2015
Tess is again posting information/ faces to her large followings just because she feels like being a bitch. Bonus points to whoever finds her hinge account. I’m sure it’s a goldmine of fat gurl queer quotes and her being 
quirkyWith a profile picture of her ass.
quirkyWith a profile picture of her ass.
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- Joined
- May 2, 2020
I mean, that guy isnt my type either, but swipe right or whatever and shut the fuck up Tess. Keep it moving until you see someone you might be interested in. You're 30 something years old. The basics of dating are not difficult.
Except we know why they are for you.
Except we know why they are for you.
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2016
It’s very interesting how Tess inches ever so closer to revealing her true source(s) of income. Posting their faces and contact information isn’t going to turn out well for her. Her “mentor(s)” are definitely getting more nervous at Tess potentially throwing them under the bus. The type of guys who pay for Tess’ apartment and cakes pay for discretion. With that out the window, you never know how they are going to react.
Tess is being even dumber than usual. She is not going to be able to deal with whatever comes her way if her feeder decides to cut her loose. A lot of these guys require NDAs so if she feels like throwing him under the bus, she’s going to get annihilated in the courts.
Tess is being even dumber than usual. She is not going to be able to deal with whatever comes her way if her feeder decides to cut her loose. A lot of these guys require NDAs so if she feels like throwing him under the bus, she’s going to get annihilated in the courts.
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2020
Not just in the courts, but then everyone will know that Tess isn't living a glamorous influencer model life, but just another whore. And that will effectively cut off any man who'd be willing to be her paypig, because who wants a prostitute that blasts your identity online for the world to see?
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
LOL. Tess is behaving as expected.
"OMG GUYS ARE JUST LINING UP TO DATE ME BUT I CANNOT BECAUSE I AM SOOOOOO KA-WEER YOUSE GUISE!"
Sure, Jan.
"OMG GUYS ARE JUST LINING UP TO DATE ME BUT I CANNOT BECAUSE I AM SOOOOOO KA-WEER YOUSE GUISE!"
Sure, Jan.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
That guy saying he's not a zookeeper made me laugh.Tess is again posting information/ faces to her large followings just because she feels like being a bitch. Bonus points to whoever finds her hinge account. I’m sure it’s a goldmine of fat gurl queer quotes and her being
Tess is definitely a zoo beast, elephant, hippopotamus, ox, rhino, take your pick.
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
Not to be a pedant but technically she's a SeaWorld creature, being a whale and all.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
That is true, didn't even think of it.