DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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DSP has delayed the 2 hour finale of Yakuza 7 for the last three Y7 streams. He spent all his time today before break pissing around finishing up the side content.

Now... with 1 hour left in his work shift before he must eat dinner with his wife... he wants to start the finale. Chat tells him that it will take 2 hours, and once he enters the Millennium Tower there's no manual saving until it's over. (It's true by the way - there are checkpoints, but no hard saves until the credits roll, about 2 hours of gaming and cutscenes). So Phil doesn't know what to do. "Whaddo I do? I finished all the side content, there's nothing left to do! How will I fill the last hour?"
 
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He's said this before years ago. Going as far back as when he was fired from the helicopter plant and subsisted from donations for a while.
Someone needs to make a parody video like the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA video.
For only a dollar a day, you can help a degenerate streamer make more money than you..........
or, For only a dollar a day, you can help a degenerate streamer play wwe champions..........
 
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He also JUST NOW said that he doesn't have time to finish the game (lie) anymore and he's gonna spend the last hour of the stream grinding. lmao this pig is un-fucking-believable
Im so pissed and now hes goona play this shit some more tonight to milk every ounce of life he can from the game and tardchange.
Just make it hail on your king my god this Yakuza game feels like its the never-ending story.
 
Somehow Phil seemed to think that if he got a hundred thousand views in a month that meant that 100,000 people watched one video each. Idc enough to find video evidence but Phil would always say “I got x amount of views this month if all those viewers donated one dollar per month I wouldn’t have to beg” I don’t need to tell you how bad this assumption/logic is.
Yeah, that was classic Black-shirt Begging Phil. In 2016 Phil believed that his YouTube audience should be giving him $200,000 a month for the videos he shits out. He believes that every single view his YouTube channel gets is a separate human being who should give him $1 for watching a 10 minute video. He belived it was realistic to expect his YouTube viewing audience to give him $1.4 million per year.

Timestamped @ 14m43s, although this is a classic you should just watch at some point if you haven't ;) He's completely delusional, panicking, ranting, and just all over the place flinging shit at the wall and hoping something sticks.
 
Y'know, I wonder... Now that DSP is a Mature Adult, do you think he feels shame at basing every aspect of his physical appearance (except the part that requires working out) on CM Punk?

If he doesn't he should.
It's impossible for someone to feel shame and to also be DSP
 
Yeah, that was classic Black-shirt Begging Phil. In 2016 Phil believed that his YouTube audience should be giving him $200,000 a month for the videos he shits out. He believes that every single view his YouTube channel gets is a separate human being who should give him $1 for watching a 10 minute video. He belived it was realistic to expect his YouTube viewing audience to give him $1.4 million per year.

Timestamped @ 14m43s, although this is a classic you should just watch at some point if you haven't ;) He's completely delusional, panicking, ranting, and just all over the place flinging shit at the wall and hoping something sticks.
Phil is just so delusional about the amount of effort he has to put in compared with how much money. Any realistic person would know patreon probably wouldn’t account for 1-2% of a creators fan base. It can realistically act as a small part of a creators income but you can’t make a career off of it only. In a best case scenario you have to combine it with twitch income, YouTube ads, and get sponsorships and free games to offset expenses. And that takes a lot of effort which Phil is not willing to do.
 
Oh boy...

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I agree Phil.

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He believes that every single view his YouTube channel gets is a separate human being who should give him $1 for watching a 10 minute video.

I accidentally clicked on a couple of his videos looking for entertaining tractor stuff. The way YouTube calculate a view is fantastically over-complicated. No one actually knows. It seems something to do with the video length vs time engaged with whether a user manually navigated to the video and... adverts are calculated on top of that? Whatever the metrics are I've never gotten $1 worth of entertainment from the raw content.

He needs to look at how long people are watching, returning visitors and what videos over days. Maybe age as well to really beat home that his viewers are all kids. Then he'll get a slap of real reality. The majority of his garbage views have to be day from 1 off people watching a couple of minutes then deciding there's better things in life than playing games if they're going to end up like him.
 
Yeah, that was classic Black-shirt Begging Phil. In 2016 Phil believed that his YouTube audience should be giving him $200,000 a month for the videos he shits out. He believes that every single view his YouTube channel gets is a separate human being who should give him $1 for watching a 10 minute video. He belived it was realistic to expect his YouTube viewing audience to give him $1.4 million per year.

Timestamped @ 14m43s, although this is a classic you should just watch at some point if you haven't ;) He's completely delusional, panicking, ranting, and just all over the place flinging shit at the wall and hoping something sticks.
But I thought the people that like his shit gave him money. What does it say when the others don't Phail? Seems that allottapeepole don't. That's what I heard. lol
 
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And that takes a lot of effort which Phil is not willing to do.
This really cuts to the heart of the matter when it comes to the pigroach and anything he desires. Even when he isn't quite dumb enough to not know how to get something, if there is effort involved, or anything about the task of getting it requires him to go against any aspect of his nature really, that bad trait of his is going to win out, every fucking time. It's why his 4th EVO win is the peak of his FGC career instead of a footnote like that kind of thing is for Justin Wong or SonicFox. He's lucky to have so much as that, honestly.

That last one is my exact thoughts on Phil. In fact I can say it about him far more than I can say it about SH, because look which one of them actually learns.

Also, shit like this is why Phil should actually be grateful that he is The Guy Who Jacked It, because if he was known as The Guy Who Threatened A Little Girl, or The Guy Who Grifts the Handicapped, you really think SH would be the only villain in his life? I don't fucking think so. Leave it to Phil to not appreciate how much he's getting off light.
 
Phil was just asked about expenses and said that the first part of the year is the most expensive for him because he has all of his 'year end expenses' right now, and then his 'taxes' in the spring. This means that he won't really be looking at improvements until the summer when things settle down. This is nothing new, but as we head into these financially hard times for Phil, let's recap.

Let's examine what we've been told about this...
1. Phil said in the fall that he would start making improvements after Christmas, specifically a green screen, in January and February if support held steady. This was so that there were no technical issues that would interfere with the hardcore gaming season.
Verdict: This was an abject lie. If Phil knew he couldn't afford it in the first 4 months of the year, then he was lying by pushing it out to those months. The criteria of support continuing was more than fulfilled and now there is a new reason... because the criteria for the old excuse were met. The problem now are his taxes and admitted expected expenses. Nothing changed, nothing unpredictable happened.
2. Phil said that it was impossible to put these things on his Amazon wishlist or to start shopping because of the pandemic - he wanted to go into stores to try these things out before making a decision to buy them.
Verdict: This was an abject lie. This supposedly had nothing to do with a lack of money to cover these expenses, it was because of the pandemic and he apparently forgot this excuse, or is worried that stories will reopen before he wants to do anything. Where was this excuse when he was asked this time? The answer is that last time was too close to him getting a massive stack of money, and he would have been called out. So he gave the pandemic excuse instead. Now it is quieter and we're transitioning back to begging.
3. Phil told us that he is 'up to date' on his taxes and that he would be able to start budgeting for improvements as early as October of last year, and this has been consistently pushed out. Now it is not possible until the summer.
Verdit: There is probably truth to this, but it shows Phil is incompetent. For money to be tight right now with his taxes, that would mean that he thought he would just have enough money to cover these things and now does not. He apparently spent it on something else (unprecedented, I'm sure). The only expense he had in November was the PS5 and OPBoone covered that completely and all chargebacks, and even though support continued, Phil is now in a bind with his taxes and can't afford expenses. This is entirely his incompetence.

Based on this, let's predict.
1. Summer will roll around and Phil will be unable to afford anything because taxes and expenses ate all of his savings. He'll save over the summer and then after the hardcore gaming season, will think about making improvements in February... rinse and repeat with no progress.
2. Phil will use this to beg ad nauseum, dangling the carrot of 'if support continues', when in actuality he scales his reckless spending to match his whales. They could refuse to go over $50 each stream and literally nothing would change except Phil would be angry because he can't have his gacha rankings.
3. If there is an improvement that occurs, it'll be like the vest streak ending - the whales will draw a line, and Phil will be forced to act to make it look like he is trying. He'll start with a chair since that is what personally benefits him the most.

Conclusion: Phil is a manipulative scammer and there is absolutely no counter argument to this now. None of this makes sense, and has required him to intentionally construct things that, by his own statements, have to be complete lies for his audience.
Also, big ups OiC, you really showed us.
 
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In the final act of today's Yakoozuh stalling session, he did the underground dungeon in Kamurocho for some reason, took him a long time to get to the second floor, he took a bunch of detours in the second floor, started bitching when he couldn't one-shot the enemies that are just before the exit of the dungeon. He actually complained that his frozen heated tendies and mashed potatoes that his mom soulmaid made for him are gonna get cold, I fucking died laughing when he said that. And in the end what did he get? GOOGATZ! That's what he fucking got! He got wrecked by the last guys and lost all his progress in the second floor of the dungeon. He said that he's just gonna leave the dungeon tomorrow and finally finish this fucking game and that all of this was just a waste of his time.

Before he left, he let out a celebratory "Fuck this!", but remember, this is his favorite Yakoozuh game :story:
 
In the final act of today's Yakoozuh stalling session, he did the underground dungeon in Kamurocho for some reason, took him a long time to get to the second floor, he took a bunch of detours in the second floor, started bitching when he couldn't one-shot the enemies that are just before the exit of the dungeon. He actually complained that his frozen heated tendies and mashed potatoes that his mom soulmaid made for him are gonna get cold, I fucking died laughing when he said that. And in the end what did he get? GOOGATZ! That's what he fucking got! He got wrecked by the last guys and lost all his progress in the second floor of the dungeon. He said that he's just gonna leave the dungeon tomorrow and finally finish this fucking game and that all of this was just a waste of his time.

Before he left, he let out a celebratory "Fuck this!", but remember, this is his favorite Yakoozuh game :story:
And the tips total? Hopefully low.
 
And the tips total? Hopefully low.
$61 today.

With regards to his taxes, we can only speculate and @actually had some theories.
He may have meant he was up to date on his payments for his back taxes. For the taxes that he previously didn't pay (that we lied about him not paying or whatever his current narrative is).
He may also have meant that he was paying quarterly installments for his taxes this year... though with the way he is talking now, I'm thinking that may be unlikely and he has actually left the entire amount to be paid.

Maybe he's fine on taxes and he is just lying as a means to say that his money is tied up so he doesn't need to do anything.
The only thing we know for sure is that he must be lying about something.
 
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