Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Allow me (from iilluminaughtii) to introduce you to Urine Therapy:

Yep.

Brother Sage has a website.
And he's been on at least one podcast.

YEP.

Urine is for tanning animal hide the ye olde fashioned way, not drinking

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Urine is for tanning animal hide the ye olde fashioned way, not drinking

And bleaching cotton and fulling wool and making white paint. Lots of good pre-industrial uses for urine.

Not a one of those involves drinking it, though.

 

[The-Mad-Asshatter]

It is indeed. Also, if any vegan ever gives you shit about it, tell them that deer frequently stomp birds to death for the calcium in their bones and elephants will grab birds from their nests to eat them for the same reason.

There are plenty of Youtube videos that show deer and elk eating birds that they catch. If they have any doubt, they can look on there.

 

[EyelessMC]

You haven't heard of the "#ChristianWitch" subcategory. [...]
There are plenty of witches who try to invoke the Christian God and Angels instead of Thor, Loki, Satan, and demons. Totally doing a Lawful route.

Magic Missiles for Jesus!

More like they discovered the illusive tenth alignment altogether: True Retard
Do we know the general consensus on the Salem trials among "Christian witchblr"? Better yet, please tell me there's a war brewing between Christian witches and Satanic witches.

I painted one of your rats, @angiethewitch
View attachment 1867598

That's pretty good, although I will admit that as someone who's got a bad history with rodents those eyes will haunt me in my sleep tonight...

Anyone have any ideas for a spell to get a male gecko?

Supposedly there's an Eastern myth/wive's tale that if a woman feels intense pleasure or even orgasms from sex she will conceive a son.
So I guess...hope the male gecko bedding down the female gecko is good in bed?

View attachment 1867633
You're nasty

"Attraction Spell: Using my menstrual blood--"
Of course. It's basically witchblr's cow bell at this point.

Twerking in a g string is going to get sexual comments. Being on the internet means you're opening yourself to criticism and unwanted advances. We don't give a shit if we have your consent. Go cry about it, jaidspo.

You don't understand, mate. This is just part of modern nature, the internet equivalent to going on a safari and seeing a rhino poop.
The life cycle goes like this:

View attachment 1867686View attachment 1867687
Maybe Persephone doesn't want to have sex with you, did you think about that?

In the words of jaidspo: CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT

Allow me (from iilluminaughtii) to introduce you to Urine Therapy

Illuminaughti is a retard but man this is one hell of a vid, or rather it's the topic that's just hell. I bet the guy who really started this was just a piss fetishist who needed to explain why he smelled like piss all the time.
But hey, you think that's bad? Hollywood people like to use a type of expensive treatment for their aging skin which involves special injections...made from baby foreskins https://archive.is/NY1Vr

Still can't wrap my head around having someone else willingly drink another human's blood, isn't that vampirism rather then witchcraft?

Yes and no. It's a "Do what thou wilt" kinda thing; every kind of perversion is related to witchcraft, especially anything related to blood and sex. See, the roots of modern witchcraft isn't as benign as cinnamon sticks and jars, nor is it really tied to Celtic style stuff but rather stems back to cults, in the West in particular to Satanism as invented by Alistair Crowley, a guy who was really angry at God because he didn't have the best life despite being a rich kid and who would later go on to write fart poetry, buy a secluded house just to try and summon a demon and then lead ignorant morons into a small cult of drugs, orgies and bestiality. Then his dick stopped working as he got older (he thought sex was the key to magical power so this is funny in hindsight) and he died.
...Yeah, the reality of these guys kinda ruins the mystique that's been built up by stuff like Supernatural.

Anyway, whenever you see blood, piss, etc. with witchcraft you can be sure it's less people wanting to get in touch with their druid side and more people following Satanism and Satanic-inspired Spirit Cooking tier nonsense, the kind of stuff we saw from WikiLeaks back in 2016. Less rolling green hills & dales and more Hollywood perversity and kooky spooky.

 

[Spatula]

I have seen so many of these witch larpers on tiktok, do they really believe in witchery or is it Harry Potter withdrawal syndrome?

 

[Pompeii Grammy Awards]

Yes and no. It's a "Do what thou wilt" kinda thing; every kind of perversion is related to witchcraft, especially anything related to blood and sex. See, the roots of modern witchcraft isn't as benign as cinnamon sticks and jars, nor is it really tied to Celtic style stuff but rather stems back to cults, in the West in particular to Satanism as invented by Alistair Crowley, a guy who was really angry at God because he didn't have the best life despite being a rich kid and who would later go on to write fart poetry, buy a secluded house just to try and summon a demon and then lead ignorant morons into a small cult of drugs, orgies and bestiality. Then his dick stopped working as he got older (he thought sex was the key to magical power so this is funny in hindsight) and he died.
...Yeah, the reality of these guys kinda ruins the mystique that's been built up by stuff like Supernatural.

Anyway, whenever you see blood, piss, etc. with witchcraft you can be sure it's less people wanting to get in touch with their druid side and more people following Satanism and Satanic-inspired Spirit Cooking tier nonsense, the kind of stuff we saw from WikiLeaks back in 2016. Less rolling green hills & dales and more Hollywood perversity and kooky spooky.

I'm just reminded of Netflix's Sabrina series, great sum up of the history regarding that. Disgusting, but interesting. Makes me glad I didn't read his books.

I have seen so many of these witch larpers on tiktok, do they really believe in witchery or is it Harry Potter withdrawal syndrome?

It's Harry Potter Larper withdrawal syndrome. They're all upset they didn't get into hogwarts and want to deny not being special and having a magical adventure in their life. Your brain can provide that for you- if you learn how to accept reality at it's terms.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Do we know the general consensus on the Salem trials among "Christian witchblr"? Better yet, please tell me there's a war brewing between Christian witches and Satanic witches.

Afraid not. Most posts are "You are VALID no matter what you practice!" so there isn't much intro-ideological fighting. Since there is basically no rules its hard to make anyone stick to rules.

I have seen so many of these witch larpers on tiktok, do they really believe in witchery or is it Harry Potter withdrawal syndrome?

Mix of both. There are definitely true believers who think they totally have magical powers, one doesn't put period blood into food because they think it won't work.

 

[NoReturn]

I have seen so many of these witch larpers on tiktok, do they really believe in witchery or is it Harry Potter withdrawal syndrome?

I agree with the gun. It's both. Harry Potter certainly didn't help things, but there have always been the weird "witch" girls. Now they just have social media and that gives them the ability to find others and that amplifies the madness.

 

[Spatula]

Speaking of witch larping
I posted a while aho how Azaelia Banks dug up her dead fucking cat and boiled the bones, apparently it was for some stupid witch ritual?
Also she sacrificed chickens in her wardrobe?
WHO, WHAT SANE INDIVIDUAL DOES THIS?

Azelia Banks digs up her FUCKING DEAD CAT and BOILS THE CAT BONES in a pot of peroxide

Apparently she is gonna want to preserve her cat somehow? Idk make it bejeweled?
Anyway the whole video is disturbing.

View attachment 1845093

 

[NoReturn]

Azealia Banks is a practitioner of Palo Mayombe. They have these things call ngangas that contain a spirit and you "feed" things like bones (human included), money, blood, and valuable things to it to power up the spirit and send it out to do your bidding.
They typically look something like this:

Azealia's looks like this

She boiled the cat to clean the bones before she put the skull in, but chicken sacrifices are "normal" for practitioners and sometimes they have entire rooms in their houses for just this purpose.

Spoiler: Spanish Bonus

 

[Niggerman]

You haven't heard of the "#ChristianWitch" subcategory.

Spoiler: Cross symbol

View attachment 1864111
View attachment 1864112
View attachment 1864113

Spoiler: Less historical

View attachment 1864116

Spoiler: They're actually pretty common even on Tumblr

View attachment 1864123

There are plenty of witches who try to invoke the Christian God and Angels instead of Thor, Loki, Satan, and demons. Totally doing a Lawful route.

These retards arent Christian, their belief consists of thinking that Christ was some pot smoking hippy who did nothing but smoke weed all day and chant love love. Hell if saw these brainlets he would whip them for naming invoking his name in their thoty foul mouth.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Azealia Banks is a practitioner of Palo Mayombe. They have these things call ngangas that contain a spirit and you "feed" things like bones (human included), money, blood, and valuable things to it to power up the spirit and send it out to do your bidding.
They typically look something like this:
View attachment 1871972
Azealia's looks like this
View attachment 1871970
She boiled the cat to clean the bones before she put the skull in, but chicken sacrifices are "normal" for practitioners and sometimes they have entire rooms in their houses for just this purpose.

Spoiler: Spanish Bonus

View attachment 1871967

But can it get me money and bitches?

 

[verygayFrogs]

Honestly I think the rise of these people came after JKR said the shit she said that got her cancelled, they were so appalled that they couldn’t fantasize about being wizards through her property and just imploded wanting to be woke and a wizard

 

[HEXbox Carousel]

I'm just fucking sick of magical thinking. Write fanfiction, fantasize all you like, but stop pretending that hoping and praying alone will fix your life. You need to put in work to get anywhere. Lazy bastards.

 

[EyelessMC]

Afraid not. Most posts are "You are VALID no matter what you practice!" so there isn't much intro-ideological fighting. Since there is basically no rules its hard to make anyone stick to rules.

Good point but disappointing to hear. I really wanted to see some witchy conflict that wasn't just the regular tumblr bickering in a different coat of make-up.

Azealia Banks is a practitioner of Palo Mayombe. They have these things call ngangas that contain a spirit and you "feed" things like bones (human included), money, blood, and valuable things to it to power up the spirit and send it out to do your bidding.

Spoiler: Sounds like some kind of greedy pokemon

But can it get me money and bitches?

Depends on how much menstrual blood, cat bones and hoarder junk you can get your hands on.

These retards arent Christian, their belief consists of thinking that Christ was some pot smoking hippy who did nothing but smoke weed all day and chant love love. Hell if saw these brainlets he would whip them for naming invoking his name in their thoty foul mouth.

Now, now, there's no evidence Jesus whipped anyone--only that he got so furious at the merchants in the temple making a buck off sacred rituals that he fashioned a whip of cords and chased everyone out (while turning over tables and everything), likely cracking it over their heads like startling cattle.

Spoiler: Basically something like this

I mean I can kinda see where those witches are coming from. [...] I personally think its a bit gross [...] I think using period blood is weird, but downright gross [...]

lol Agreed, but I can see you holding back your revulsion for this due to being so considerate and gentle about it. It's okay to call these people names and say they're nasty, Angie. They aren't like you. Sure we poke fun about your cinnamon sticks and dollar spells but these nutjobs smear period blood on canvases, boil cat bones and stab chickens in the face. You can feel free to mock them with us.

my uni art course

They exposed you to this kind of lunacy in uni?? I knew college had gotten bad but just...dude. Give it a few more years and we'll have uni kids being exposed to porn and boiled cat bone "art". Kinds in 2027 will be like: "Actually I'm Majoring in Gender Studies with a Minor in Voodoo. Teehee!"

my husband [..]

lol That water story. I had a similar experience one time when I thought my sudden invigoration was me getting stronger, only to realized it was just the change in diet and doctor prescribed vitamin dose.
But that's wonderful from top to bottom, especially your relationship and your approach to it, Angie.
Considering everything, though, I have to ask: That picture we found of you with the green hair and everything, was that something special or do you usually dye your hair and brows like that?

Part of the reason we had such a different impression of you before you started posting here was because of that picture. Don't worry, it wasn't your face but the choice of colors that surprised us. Is it something to do with getting closer to nature?

 

[angiethewitch]

lol Agreed, but I can see you holding back your revulsion for this due to being so considerate and gentle about it. It's okay to call these people names and say they're nasty, Angie. They aren't like you. Sure we poke fun about your cinnamon sticks and dollar spells but these nutjobs smear period blood on canvases, boil cat bones and stab chickens in the face. You can feel free to mock them with us.

I mean I HAVE boiled bones but only to clean them after I found them. also it's fine to poke fun at my practice if that's what you wanna do, im not really too fussed and ill probably laugh along with you

They exposed you to this kind of lunacy in uni?? I knew college had gotten bad but just...dude.

to be fair it was to critique the art and be able to see the meanings of it. we studied a lot of weird art to identify themes, what it means, criticise it. it taught us critical thinking and it ALSO taught me how much I hate art made of human materials.

lol That water story. I had a similar experience one time when I thought my sudden invigoration was me getting stronger, only to realized it was just the change in diet and doctor prescribed vitamin dose.
But that's wonderful from top to bottom, especially your relationship and your approach to it, Angie.
Considering everything, though, I have to ask: That picture we found of you with the green hair and everything, was that something special or do you usually dye your hair and brows like that?

Part of the reason we had such a different impression of you before you started posting here was because of that picture. Don't worry, it wasn't your face but the choice of colors that surprised us. Is it something to do with getting closer to nature?

the green brows was just green eyeliner pencil, I just fancied doing them green one day and decided I like it. and the hair doesn't mean anything tbh, I dyed it green when I was 16?17? and decided it looked cool. since then I've changed colours a lot but I love having green hair. i just feel like it looks cool. it doesn't mean anything I just like looking weird lmao

 

[Syaoran Li]

@angiethewitch

Are you a Wiccan or do you follow another path of witchcraft or the occult?

 

[angiethewitch]

@angiethewitch

Are you a Wiccan or do you follow another path of witchcraft or the occult?

DEFINITELY not wiccan.

I'm a welsh polytheist, I tend to practice druidry. I do worship a few Greek gods, but im mainly a welsh polytheist. I work with the earth a lot, nature and whatnot. if you go back a few pages you'll see my explanation of my craft

 

[Syaoran Li]

DEFINITELY not wiccan.

I'm a welsh polytheist, I tend to practice druidry. I do worship a few Greek gods, but im mainly a welsh polytheist. I work with the earth a lot, nature and whatnot. if you go back a few pages you'll see my explanation of my craft

Good. Wicca's a crock of bullshit that's basically the result of a middle class Englishman and his wife not being posh enough to get into the more established occult societies back in the 1940's.

The problem I have with druidry as a craft is that there's so little of the actual practices of the druids that are known.

Most knowledge we have comes from archaeological sites or from written Greco-Roman and Christian records, both groups being rather biased in their writings.

The "Celtic Romanticist" movement of the 19th Century and the hippies of the 1960's and early 1970's also muddied the waters with their romanticized depictions of the druids where they're depicted as like some sort of mix between medieval Catholic monks and tree-hugging hippies.


Then again, I don't practice witchcraft or any kind of occultism but I do find the topic to be interesting from a historical point of view.

 

[angiethewitch]

Good. Wicca's a crock of bullshit that's basically the result of a middle class Englishman and his wife not being posh enough to get into the more established occult societies back in the 1940's.

yup.

The problem I have with druidry as a craft is that there's so little of the actual practices of the druids that are known.

Most knowledge we have comes from archaeological sites or from written Greco-Roman and Christian records, both groups being rather biased in their writings.

The "Celtic Romanticist" movement of the 19th Century and the hippies of the 1960's and early 1970's also muddied the waters with their romanticized depictions of the druids where they're depicted as like some sort of mix between medieval Catholic monks and tree-hugging hippies.


Then again, I don't practice witchcraft or any kind of occultism but I do find the topic to be interesting from a historical point of view.

yeah, there's certainly not much known about them. but living in wales, especially so close to where they practised their religion, gives me a lot of info. around wales in certain beauty spots you'll find plaques with information on about the area and the history. for example, in Anglesey, I went to a place called red wharf bay and there was a plaque there detailing the legend of the witches of Llandonna. and as I said, ive studied books and stuff about druidry. like obviously I'm not an expert, but I know how to distinguish between the real deal and the bullshit that came with the neo pagan revival. im quite annoyed that they bastardised our culture so severely that druidry is a joke now.