Before Twelve Tales: Conker 64 was quietly cancelled and transformed into Conker's Bad Fur Day, a version of it was actually released on the Gameboy/Color. This version, called Conker's Pocket Tales, is mostly a neat little game that rather obviously suffers from being rushed. This is first noticeable about halfway through the game, when you have the option of going to either Claw Swamp or the Mako Islands. We'll start with the Mako Islands, since nothing about it seems wrong at first glance. It's a nice, open map you can explore freely with relaxing tropical music, as much as the Gameboy can make relaxing tropical music.
You're guided to this one acorn's house where he says he'll make Conker a boat for the boat race so you can complete the area and continue on with the game. But he doesn't have the materials; you'll have to gather them through minigames. The closest minigame is a short distance away to the west, and involves shooting coconuts: you need to hit above a certain score in order to win. The target boxes automatically locks onto the coconuts as they fly by, so it's just a matter of hitting A or B. It's incredibly easy to do, unless you mix up which button to hit. We'll go counterclockwise around the map and head south to the next minigame. This time it's the long jump. No big deal, right? Right?
This is the part where the game breaks. To play the long jump, you have to rapidly hit left and right to gain speed, then hit and hold A or B at the line until you get a good angle for a jump. The D-pad for the Gameboy/Color is a bit on the small side compared to the NES and SNES, and isn't as easily responsive either. And this minigame further reduces reponsiveness in order to increase the difficulty. Ever get a pain in your thumb playing Gameboy for a while? This minigame causes it in a couple of minutes if you don't get it the first time. And you probably won't because of how hard the game makes it to build enough speed to jump far enough to win. You can set it on a desk or table and just use your index fingers, but that takes them away from A and B to actually jump, making it more likely that you'll run over the line and lose, or stop running too soon, lose precious speed, and then lose because you didn't have enough speed for your jump.
But let's say you kept at it and finally won. Maybe you had a gaming friend help you, even. Well, the other two minigames have the
same exact mechanic with the
same level of responsiveness. The difference is that they're races against your asshole skunk rival so yeah, you're going to be hitting left and right a whole lot more. Race 1 is on land, and you have to periodically jump barrels or your speed will tank. It's also the hardest out of all four minigames. Race 2 is in the water and is actually the easiest of the three left and right minigames since your asshole skunk rival is a shitty swimmer. It's a lot longer, and slower, though, and you have to hit A or B to breathe when directed to. Otherwise, you guessed it, your speed will tank.
So you finally finish the Mako Islands, (unless you did them second) so it's off to Claw Swamp. The first thing you'll notice is that it's got a
cool tune. The second is that Claw Swamp is a completely linear path, and every so often the path is blocked and you have to go in a building to solve a puzzle to continue. Compared to the first levels of the game (save the latter half of Crow Keep), it's boring as shit. Even Crow Keep had actual side paths leading to bonuses that made it maze-like, here the bonuses are just a "room" off to the side of the path. And if you think it'll get better, it doesn't because the last two levels of the game are the same exact shit, just with the occasional proper side paths.
It's a shame because the potential was there, they just wound up rushing the last half of the game in order to get it out. But if you want to give it a try, emulating it is
much easier than playing it on a Gameboy. Those games are hell on a real Gameboy/Color. Even the GBA isn't much of an improvement.
