Tool are the most overrated band ever. Where do I begin?
Every Tool fan I've met without question has been a socially disabled autist and edgelord, who somehow believe that them just liking the band makes them a galaxy brain super stud with august musical taste.
Power bottom worship of JMK, or whatever the hell he's called. No surprise here, as he's the archetypal Rain Man, king of all that is awkward: a schematic laid down for his equally awkward fanbase and dick-riders. His wine is dogshit and massively overpriced, but the orders keep flowing as if each bottle personally contained a concentrate of his own semen.
Cringe ass lyrics. Can't name any songs, but I've been inadvertently subject to hundreds of hours of Tool over the years by friends. Lyrical dogshit, edgy toss. Embarrassing that this stuff is coming out of the minds of thoroughly middle-aged men.
If Tool's discography had any more of an overall blend of distortion, we'd be listening to white noise. My gramophone from the 1930s sounds clearer and crisper, and actually pleasant to listen to. Tool sounds like a bailing machine when someone threw a bag of dog shit inside, or like elderly Chinese men being flattened by garbage trucks.
Preparing my anus.