Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[GreeneCoDeputy]

And as I'm fond of saying, those people have very helpfully concentrated themselves in cities. As Chiang Kai-Shek learnt the hard way, fighting a civil war when you only control the cities and when you don't have the hearts and minds of your country's citizenry is not fun.

Indeed. Long stretches of interstate highways are great for swiftly moving tanks through friendly territory but turn into convenient chokepoints for ambushes.

When most US cities have approximately 72 hours of supplies at any time, their best option is to play nice with the people who could turn any inland city into a modern Stalingrad.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Indeed. Long stretches of interstate highways are great for swiftly moving tanks through friendly territory but turn into convenient chokepoints for ambushes.

When most US cities have approximately 72 hours of supplies at any time, their best option is to play nice with the people who could turn any inland city into a modern Stalingrad.

Spoiler: Civil War spergery

Let's say, hypothetically (no my last name isn't Shapiro, why do you ask) that the American people have a complete brain aneurysm and make Moviebob (or someone who thinks like him, but I can't think of anyone that fits that bill and is well-known enough that everyone here knows who he is, so I'll just say Moviebob) President, and that he gets his support from the cities.

Within 7 days of him being elected, President Chipman cuts agricultural subsidies, bans the Republican Party and declares that religious liberty is not a defence in cases relating to homosexuality, the seal of the confessional or the ordination of women. (These are all things he's said he'd do, and I'll say that they're not immediately struck down by the Supreme Court because reasons.)

With those three measures, Bob has alienated the vast majority of the countryside, and sizable populations of the cities. (I somehow doubt that Latino Catholics or Muslims, which make up a lot of cities' populations, are going to be cool with their faith being banned). Bob would be facing unrest in the countryside, mass civil disobedience and general strikes. To put it simply, Bob's position makes Tsar Nicholas' position in January 1917 look enviable.

And that is why Moviebob, or anyone who holds his ideas, will never take and successfully hold power in the United States

 

[Koby_Fish]

I know, and I was saying that demanding you be called by a plural pronoun has exactly the same energy as Mrs Thatcher declaring ”we are a grandmother”.

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He probably does want them to be killed, only he's smart enough to know that saying stuff like that publically is a bad idea.

Poland Canuckistan is not yet lost.

This?

well I mean, either that or this:

Spoiler: EXCEPTIONALLY EXCEPTIONAL HELMET

 

[EnemyStand]

Spoiler: Civil War spergery

Let's say, hypothetically (no my last name isn't Shapiro, why do you ask) that the American people have a complete brain aneurysm and make Moviebob (or someone who thinks like him, but I can't think of anyone that fits that bill and is well-known enough that everyone here knows who he is, so I'll just say Moviebob) President, and that he gets his support from the cities.

Within 7 days of him being elected, President Chipman cuts agricultural subsidies, bans the Republican Party and declares that religious liberty is not a defence in cases relating to homosexuality, the seal of the confessional or the ordination of women. (These are all things he's said he'd do, and I'll say that they're not immediately struck down by the Supreme Court because reasons.)

With those three measures, Bob has alienated the vast majority of the countryside, and sizable populations of the cities. (I somehow doubt that Latino Catholics or Muslims, which make up a lot of cities' populations, are going to be cool with their faith being banned). Bob would be facing unrest in the countryside, mass civil disobedience and general strikes. To put it simply, Bob's position makes Tsar Nicholas' position in January 1917 look enviable.

And that is why Moviebob, or anyone who holds his ideas, will never take and successfully hold power in the United States

Two things:
1. Thanks to you mentioning Shapiro I read all of your quoted text in his voice. Imagining Ben Shapiro as a Kiwi is my new favorite mental image.
2. You're absolutely right, but at that point there'll be as many sides to that civil war as ideologies. When the infrastructure finally collapses, it'll be likely that the countryside will be the new staging zone, provided ideologies that have similar bents don't come together and decide to try for peace with the others.

 

[mandatorylurk]

I'm not going to go down a Chipman rabbit hole of shame, but the sister's husband, I wonder how loud Bob and Chris would go full-on retard scream at him if he were to say at the family dinner "Yeah Bob, I voted for Trump. Twice. And I'll vote for him again."

Maybe that's why she probably has holiday meals with the husband's family instead.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Two things:
1. Thanks to you mentioning Shapiro I read all of your quoted text in his voice. Imagining Ben Shapiro as a Kiwi is my new favorite mental image.
2. You're absolutely right, but at that point there'll be as many sides to that civil war as ideologies. When the infrastructure finally collapses, it'll be likely that the countryside will be the new staging zone, provided ideologies that have similar bents don't come together and decide to try for peace with the others.

Indeed. A Moviebob presidency would create a power vacuum and, as the fall of Rome showed us all, those never go well.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Indeed. A Moviebob presidency would create a power vacuum and, as the fall of Rome showed us all, those never go well.

His presidency would bring long term damage to the Democratic Party. Nobody would vote for them as they’re associated with him.

 

[Zombie Dealership]

Indeed. A Moviebob presidency would create a power vacuum and, as the fall of Rome showed us all, those never go well.

He wouldn't last a day before the powers that be pulled an actual coup. The opportunity would be too perfect since it wouldn't be hard to get people on their side given Bob's history.

 

[StraightShooter2]

Regarding more of his economic illiteracy (or people's illiteracy in general) - I'd wager that the main people who would have to fear loss of manufacturing jobs wouldn't just be ordinary low-level employees (e.x. assembly line or warehouse workers).

A low-level employee could easily just get a similar entry-level job in another sector (e.x. service industry) - a higher-level, more specialized employee though, say someone who designs or sells manufacturing equipment to US manufacturing companies would probably be more at risk to loss of jobs in the manufacturing industry.

 

[Positron]

Something happened:


Anything that comes from the monied class CANNOT be true-and-honest revolution:

I know Marxist offshots are many and confusing, but if you go straight back to the source, Marx states that all the culture, politics, etc, everything that Bobby is obsessed about, are superstructures built on an economic base. In other words, the means of production is indeed more important than everything else.

Again, Bobby thinks you can't be a leftist if you care about how wealth is distributed at all.


Nash sees through fake news. Bobby goes one step ahead and suggests that speculators manipulate the market through fake news.
(Does that mean that journalists, sin qua non of Superior Future, are in bed with Global Money?)


Ted Cruz:

And the view of Bobby is some people are a disease.

+ + + +
At long last Bobby reviews something by Sion Sono:


David Lynch made an announcement, and Bobby shares his wry observations:


Bobby avails his expertise to someone who need examples of toxic masculinity:


Back to Bobby's home base. Joker:




Luke: If you assume that someone versed in textual analysis -- like Bob -- thinks MCU movies have a point, you are bound to be confused.
Bob: Yes Kweeen!!!! These movies are derivative and trivial as campfire stories; whatever point they pretend to have are no deeper than your fake vag.




No idea, looks like MCU:


Consoom:


Beard:

If Bobby shows up on the coast he'd be mistaken as a buoy.

No idea:

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

No idea:
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Roth IRA is a financial account that can only be drawn from when you're retired.
Shinra SOLDIERs are superhuman soldiers manufactured by the Shinra Electric Power Company that served as a major plot point in Final Fantasy VII.
Sephiroth is a Shinra SOLDIER who served as a main antagonist of Final Fantasy VII.
It's a pun, and not a very good one. Since Final Fantasy is a Square Enix game, I doubt Bob has ever played it. He's just retweeting whatever his Kween says.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Roth IRA is a financial account that can only be drawn from when you're retired.
Shinra SOLDIERs are superhuman soldiers manufactured by the Shinra Electric Power Company that served as a major plot point in Final Fantasy VII.
Sephiroth is a Shinra SOLDIER who served as a main antagonist of Final Fantasy VII.
It's a pun, and not a very good one. Since Final Fantasy is a Square Enix game, I doubt Bob has ever played it. He's just retweeting whatever his Kween says.

not to mention, it's a Playstation game (not a Nintendo 64 game). If Bob ever played any NES-SNES era Final Fantasy, it's likely he whined about Square/Squeenix betraying Nintendo by going with Playstation instead for FF VII. (But he prolly never played ANY Final Fantasy because ItS NoT mAriO !11!!!1!)

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

I know Marxist offshots are many and confusing, but if you go straight back to the source, Marx states that all the culture, politics, etc, everything that Bobby is obsessed about, are superstructures built on an economic base. In other words, the means of production is indeed more important than everything else.

Seriously, what the fuck does he think Das Kapital is about? Snow White and the Seven Troons?

 

[Flexo]

Ted Cruz:

And the view of Bobby is some people are a disease.

Oh Bob, I'm actually pretty sure Ted could kick your ass.

I mean you pwn yourself all the time.
(Really? Avengers is "against traditional boundaries" when Iron Man, Ant Man, and Hawkeye all fight for their daughters, and Captain America gives up his life to have a normal heterosexuals' relationship?)

 

[Captain Marvelous]

Let's say, hypothetically (no my last name isn't Shapiro, why do you ask) that the American people have a complete brain aneurysm and make Moviebob (or someone who thinks like him

Just imagine if Bob tries to implement a eugenics program, but gets little to no support from congress. Either that, or he tries to start a robotics division of the government to replace the working class, which also gets little to no support from congress.

 

[Blacklight]

I just want to know what's got Chippa in a tizzy right now. I'm curious.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Just imagine if Bob tries to implement a eugenics program, but gets little to no support from congress. Either that, or he tries to start a robotics division of the government to replace the working class, which also gets little to no support from congress.

Gonna sperg on some literature here, but I think it's relevant, and on the off chance he should see it, it might just pop his brain like a zit. This is the world that Blob wants to live in.

Spoiler: Asmiov's Robot Earth

Isaac Asimov, in writing his Robot series, basically snatched Blob's fantasy from him before he was even conceived. As you might expect, it is nothing that Blob would actually enjoy.

On this Earth, humanity lives within huge arcologies. Humans never see the light of the sun. There is no rural life; robots work the fields, all humans live within the Caves of Steel. And they all work, and every aspect of their lives is managed by the utility of their work. The first book's main character, a talented detective, doesn't rate high enough to earn the equivalent of a subway seat. The use communal shower baths a la Rome but with space age plumbing. They eat mostly algae substitutions, as real food is a rationed luxury that some may enjoy once a week while some will taste it on their birthday only. Only the useful can have children, and only as many as they rate. It all depends on how important you are to the health of your city section. You may ask, where is the future Blob thinks he's getting? It does exist, on other worlds that he would never be allowed to visit. He professes so much vileness and bigotry while having so little actual worth that the colonizations would have never brought him, and the utopian Spacer worlds that the colonized worlds became would have never tolerated his presence; the Aurorans would have detected his tendencies genetically and aborted him from his incubation tube if he were somehow born through their eugenic programs.

Blob must think he works for Asimov's vision if he has any clue who the man was. Izzy would probably want to strangle him within 30 seconds.

I can go on if anyone cares. But the point is, even the great granddaddy of his superior future would have him boiled for soap.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

It’s appalling to me that he still wants to be a critic given that COVID-19 killed theaters and blockbusters and getting fired for good from Escapist.

Also raises the question, how desperate must an outlet like The Escapist be to hire such an incompetent tool to begin with?

Seriously, what the fuck does he think Das Kapital is about? Snow White and the Seven Troons?

As it's not from Marvel or DC I'm pretty sure he didn't even read it once.
Tbh, IMHO, most of his political takes would fit better into Strasserism than anything else.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Also raises the question, how desperate must an outlet like The Escapist be to hire such an incompetent tool to begin with?

I feel as though it may be the other way around. When they were healthy there was money to go around for pandering to every flavor of psycho. But normie media has a sucking chest wound, even online, and now that the belts are tightening, nobody can afford to pay a Robert Chipman to look terrible while bringing in whatever fringes might actually like him unironically.

 

[Mr Snek]

Also raises the question, how desperate must an outlet like The Escapist be to hire such an incompetent tool to begin with?

I'm pretty sure that Bob used to make reviews that weren't as terrible as they are now. They weren't great, but they were perfectly watchable if a little dumb and cheap, so the Escapist was fine with keeping him around so long as he shut up and kept making his reviews on time. Really the only thing stopping him from continuing as a moderately successful movie reviewer is his own sperging, it's not like he couldn't keep finding shitty B movies to review until the movie industry eventually comes back.