Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

Jesus christ, the kid is still in DIAPERS!? Get it together RYANN holy fuck.

I was shocked - even though my expectations of "Tess" Ryann Hoven Brady's behavior are ground level. (Also, I had to zoom into her kid's crotch to be sure of what i was seeing and I hate myself for it).

Remember how Tess bragged about having totally potty trained Bowie sometime after she moved into her own place? So much for that.

I can't even continence telling Nick to come get his kid to protect him from this abuse and neglect, because Nikki seems eager to troon people out - and who better than an impressionable, desperate for affection, abused child?

 

[maggots]

So Bowie is Olly’s son now? That surely isn’t going to give the kid even more attachment issues than he already has with multiple moves, dad leaving, and Jolene out of his life like she was never there all before 5 years old.
The pull up’s make sense, having accidents as a kid can be a result of trauma and everything I listed above could be traumatic for a kid Bowie’s age. Or Tess is too lazy/fat to potty train him. Or both. I’m not even going to get into how disturbingly inappropriate Olly was to have posted that image when it’s not even her child.

 

[Water-T]

Just when I think Tess couldn't be more of a garbage fire, she proves me wrong.

Her kid is fucking 5 and still in diapers? She's letting a strange person she barely knows sleep in the same room as the kid and post photos of him in diapers on their social media?

Nick, if you're reading this - archive and screenshot EVERYTHING. It's going to be the best ammo not just for the custody case but for when Tess' victim narrative against you gains traction outside of her NPC bubble.

A MAWM that does all this in addition to dumping her older son on a stranger, getting high constantly around Bowie, and generally behaves like Casey Anthony in a fat suit is not a good candidate for custody.

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

Olly also constantly takes pictures of their apartment surroundings, I considered posting those here but I remembered the kids and thought better of it. She's putting them in danger by exposing their lives to the public.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Agree on the Pull-Up thing, but I wonder if Bowie has trouble wetting the bed at night, hence the diaper?

I've known several children that used the toilet during the day, but wet the bed at night. One boy even had to use a special nasal spray until he grew out of it.

ETA: I went back and looked again, and see Bowie is standing on his bed, so I believe he only uses them at night.
Still isn't right for Olly to take and post the picture of him.

 

[multiverse]

Agree on the Pull-Up thing, but I wonder if Bowie has trouble wetting the bed at night, hence the diaper?

I've known several children that used the toilet during the day, but wet the bed at night. One boy even had to use a special nasal spray until he grew out of it.

ETA: I went back and looked again, and see Bowie is standing on his bed, so I believe he only uses them at night.
Still isn't right for Olly to take and post the picture of him.

The sequence of the posts made it seem like this was after school to me... can anyone who hasn't checked out the Stories yet go back and confirm the time difference between school pickup and the bed / PullUp video? Could well be bedtime but possibly not.

 

[Constellationzero]

Just when I think Tess couldn't be more of a garbage fire, she proves me wrong.

Her kid is fucking 5 and still in diapers? She's letting a strange person she barely knows sleep in the same room as the kid and post photos of him in diapers on their social media?

Nick, if you're reading this - archive and screenshot EVERYTHING. It's going to be the best ammo not just for the custody case but for when Tess' victim narrative against you gains traction outside of her NPC bubble.

A MAWM that does all this in addition to dumping her older son on a stranger, getting high constantly around Bowie, and generally behaves like Casey Anthony in a fat suit is not a good candidate for custody.

He needs to archive and screenshot and THEN spam the almighty fuck out of Parents Magazine with all of this. Because I really WOULD LOVE the magazine's official HAWT TAEK on this.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

He needs to archive and screenshot and THEN spam the almighty fuck out of Parents Magazine with all of this. Because I really WOULD LOVE the magazine's official HAWT TAEK on this.

Although I sort of agree, that would make him look as bad as Tess.
He just needs to document everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, and use it in court when the time comes.
A judge looks at the parents behavior, and the one who is calm and collected, with the evidence behind him will look better.
Can you imagine Tess waddling into a courtroom in one of her muppet outfits, made up in her usual drag queen style? Especially if a news crew has a slow day and covers the Z-Listers custody battle?
I doubt she can afford an attorney that will tell her to tone down the outfits and to keep her trap SHUT.

And Nick should start dumping all of his SM accounts, like his Reddit account for starters.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Pull ups are a nighttime thing, lots of children who are potty trained during the day sometimes wet their beds at night. That in and of itself isn't a big deal.

But, yeah, maybe stop posting pics of it. And this poor kid, it can't be easy having a revolving door of caretakers come in and out of his life.

So let's see where we're at: Tess' waning career has tried to be propped up by MuH KwEeRnEsS, mUh AbUse, and neither one has really worked.

But we have a lovely little boy, who looks like a little girl, who is surrounded by narcissism and troonery. I think we all know where this is headed.

 

[multiverse]

To settle an earlier question about whether it was an uncle or a cousin who was Ryann's middle school teacher who was puzzled about her claim of being bullied: it was her mother's cousin (second cousin); courtesy of the Daily Mail, 2015:


Hmm, everyone seems to recall this girl as, uh, "opinionated". That's southern-polite for "stubborn as a mule, can't tell that girl a thing... bless her heart."


Tad, the brother (younger by one year), is the guy who definitely left a GoodReads review, but I don't know if he did the same on Amazon.

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

Ew they're both posted within an hour of each other, does he wear diapers to preschool?!
What in the world is keeping Tess too busy to properly raise her kids? She doesn't do anything all week except eat, get her makeup and hair done, sit on her ass all day until that time of the month when she has to squeeze herself in sports wear and lie to the internet. How does she manage to still disappoint kiwis after all this time...

 

[Barbarella]

Tess is too busy to raise kids, obvvy. That mirror needs to reflect back at something, innit?. That weed needs to be smoked, lips need to be filled, cake needs to be eaten (and eaten and eaten), and all those important things must be paid for-one sponsorship won’t do it. So Olly can doll up the kid and do semi-nude photo shoots while Tess pushes out a few farts for a dude who she then lets fuck her fat rolls for cash, which take up whatever extra time she has left in the day. Hey, if you were such a busy mahm, you’d have to put your kid 15th or below on your priority list too.

She’ll parent when she needs something from the kid, don’t you worry.

My dream is for Bowie to do a typical 5 year old thing and chop his hair off with those dull school scissors they use. Right to the scalp. I want to see the passive aggressive or down right aggressive aggressive posts that Tess will make while pretending she has a sense of humor about it. Such a good mahm, can laugh while the kid sets her troon plans back a few years.

He’s probably still in diapers because she doesn’t want him to see what’s down there. Lock it away!

 

[multiverse]

My dream is for Bowie to do a typical 5 year old thing and chop his hair off with those dull school scissors they use. Right to the scalp

I have a feeling when he goes to real school and the other boys think he's a girl and pick on him, he'll be begging for a cut - and agreed that it's likely he'll end up helping himself to one.

 

[Oscar Winner]

The way he puts "victim" in quote like that...
Then claims he has "been a cute little girl" (bitch no) and goes on to wage war on them as potentially violent and sexually deviant. This guy is fucking insane and should be investigated for posting shit like this. Sorry for getting mad, but what the fuck, I thought the person who quoted him saying "little girls can be kinky" was paraphrasing but it turns out they were quoting him directly.

Also not surprising that he missed most of the nuance of The Exorcist to substitute for "white christian guy bad/sex good." He was probably too busy getting off to the horrific themes in that movie, to understand any meaning there. Fuck this guy.

This sick fucker is the exact reason people don't want gender neutral bathrooms or whatever in public spaces. Gives me the horrors that a young girl (or boy, any child) could share space with someone of this mindset, get abused/assaulted, and have some accuse her of being the instigator. I assume if they think this about girls they could apply the same thought to boys. They are children. Children do not want to have sex with adults.

Sorry, I'm raging.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I have a feeling when he goes to real school and the other boys think he's a girl and pick on him, he'll be begging for a cut - and agreed that it's likely he'll end up helping himself to one.

And Tess will waddle into the school principals' office and screech about those evil kindergarten boys who don't respect LGBTBIPOCYABBADABBADO rights and demand those evil 6 year old children be expelled.

 

[AbraCadaver]

And Tess will waddle into the school principals' office and screech about those evil kindergarten boys who don't respect LGBTBIPOCYABBADABBADO rights and demand those evil 6 year old children be expelled.

I hope she waddles in straight from “work,” with a sheetcake still stuck to her arse.

I dunno who first came up with “Tess farts on cakes for feeders” but it never stops being funny and it’s a treasured part of my Tess headcanon.

 

[Constellationzero]

Although I sort of agree, that would make him look as bad as Tess.
He just needs to document everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, and use it in court when the time comes.
A judge looks at the parents behavior, and the one who is calm and collected, with the evidence behind him will look better.
Can you imagine Tess waddling into a courtroom in one of her muppet outfits, made up in her usual drag queen style? Especially if a news crew has a slow day and covers the Z-Listers custody battle?
I doubt she can afford an attorney that will tell her to tone down the outfits and to keep her trap SHUT.

And Nick should start dumping all of his SM accounts, like his Reddit account for starters.

Seeing your take on that, you're absolutely right. Got a bit MOTI over Parents Magazine and didn't think. Best thing Nick can do is take the high road and keep busy where he's at. And say nothing about lardo on Plebbit.

The cake farts thing: I saw a feeder doc on Youtube featuring Goddess Patty. She laid it alllllllll out there. The quick and dirty: these men wanna LARP like Farmer Brown has purchased a piglet at market and HE is raisin' it up to be first prize slophog at the county fair 4H competition.
They want DETAILS:
* Farts
* Difficulty with shaving/wiping/hygiene
* skin issues
* immobility

Because they wanna say to theirselves and others on and offline: "That's me. That is MY PROJECT. And m'pig's commin' along reeel nice."

Spoiler: Goddess Patty

 

[multiverse]

I hope she waddles in straight from “work,” with a sheetcake still stuck to her arse.

I dunno who first came up with “Tess farts on cakes for feeders” but it never stops being funny and it’s a treasured part of my Tess headcanon.

I mean, she regularly drives 6 hours in total to go get cakes at a cheesy/ upscale sleazy motel, and we've literally seen video in August, mid pandemic, (thanks, Olly!) where Tess - having been homeless for a year and suddenly in "posh" new digs with no jobs - is sighing about going out to meet some guy "but Olly knows where I'll be..."

2 and 2 make four. But we need to award a winner trophy to the originator for sure.

 

[Miss Misery]

I mean, she regularly drives 6 hours in total to go get cakes at a cheesy/ upscale sleazy motel, and we've literally seen video in August, mid pandemic, (thanks, Olly!) where Tess - having been homeless for a year and suddenly in "posh" new digs with no jobs - is sighing about going out to meet some guy "but Olly knows where I'll be..."

2 and 2 make four. But we need to award a winner trophy to the originator for sure.

The Madonna Inn is... the Dolly Parton Tess Holliday of motels. It's gilded and pink and way overpriced. Dinner at the Madonna Inn restaurant will cost you at least $100 before tip for some mediocre midcentury steakhouse fare (wedge salad extra!) and while the rooms are a novelty, the rest of the facility is tacky at BEST.

Just like Tess.

Edit: Okay the shade thrown at Dolly was unnecessary.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Seeing your take on that, you're absolutely right. Got a bit MOTI over Parents Magazine and didn't think. Best thing Nick can do is take the high road and keep busy where he's at. And say nothing about lardo on Plebbit.

The cake farts thing: I saw a feeder doc on Youtube featuring Goddess Patty. She laid it alllllllll out there. The quick and dirty: these men wanna LARP like Farmer Brown has purchased a piglet at market and HE is raisin' it up to be first prize slophog at the county fair 4H competition.
They want DETAILS:
* Farts
* Difficulty with shaving/wiping/hygiene
* skin issues
* immobility

Because they wanna say to theirselves and others on and offline: "That's me. That is MY PROJECT. And m'pig's commin' along reeel nice."

Spoiler: Goddess Patty

View attachment 1896851

This is why God won’t talk to us anymore.

Also yes, never shade Dolly. That woman is a saint. Her literacy programmes for kids, her hands-on work with her community and the fact that everyone who meets her describes her as being utterly delightful is why Tess doesn’t deserve to be in the same sentence as her, let alone have a tattoo of Dolly.