Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,662
The cake farts thing: I saw a feeder doc on Youtube featuring Goddess Patty. She laid it alllllllll out there. The quick and dirty: these men wanna LARP like Farmer Brown has purchased a piglet at market and HE is raisin' it up to be first prize slophog at the county fair 4H competition.
They want DETAILS:
* Farts
* Difficulty with shaving/wiping/hygiene
* skin issues
* immobility

Because they wanna say to theirselves and others on and offline: "That's me. That is MY PROJECT. And m'pig's commin' along reeel nice."

A week or two ago I found out r/immobile is a thing. I doubt she'd ever admit it, but she definitely has a market.
Edit: she, meaning Tess
E2: sorry, yes, horrifying
 
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The Madonna Inn is... the Dolly Parton Tess Holliday of motels. It's gilded and pink and way overpriced. Dinner at the Madonna Inn restaurant will cost you at least $100 before tip for some mediocre midcentury steakhouse fare (wedge salad extra!) and while the rooms are a novelty, the rest of the facility is tacky at BEST.

Just like Tess.

Edit: Okay the shade thrown at Dolly was unnecessary.
They need to update their bathrooms, looks like they haven't been touched since the 70s.
 
Would Bowie be allowed to attend preschool without being potty-trained? I think not, so the bed wetting theory makes sense.
Unless he was put to bed or taking a nap directly after school, the Pull-ups have nothing to do with bed wetting. The timestamps showed that the school pickup and Pull-ups video were taken within the same hour.

Sorry for double posting but it was too horrible not to share.

Tess has had Olly shove her into one of Tess’s old, long outgrown corsets, thrown an old robe over it to hide that it can't close and the spillage is unimaginable, and pretended to be sexy. Because abuse, obviously. She hasn't had a waist of any sort for the past 5 years, no way one showed up last night for a visit.
Screenshot_20210205-072010_Chrome.jpg

Is this the Black Lodge? What kind of eldrich horror did she release?
 
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Sorry for double posting but it was too horrible not to share.

Tess has had Olly shove her into one of Tess’s old, long outgrown corsets, thrown an old robe over it to hide that it can't close and the spillage is unimaginable, and pretended to be sexy. Because abuse, obviously. She hasn't had a waist of any sort for the past 5 years, no way one showed up last night for a visit.
View attachment 1898235

Is this the Black Lodge? What kind of eldrich horror did she release?
View attachment 1898239
This belongs in one of the staterooms of the Overlook Hotel. Stevie K himself couldn’t have conjured a demonic spirit this horrifying.

ETA: I watched it again, and I don’t understand how this is supposed to read as “sexy” rather than “ghost reveal from horror movie.” Am I missing the point? Is this “challenge” supposed to be creepy as fuck?
 
This belongs in one of the staterooms of the Overlook Hotel. Stevie K himself couldn’t have conjured a demonic spirit this horrifying.

ETA: I watched it again, and I don’t understand how this is supposed to read as “sexy” rather than “ghost reveal from horror movie.” Am I missing the point? Is this “challenge” supposed to be creepy as fuck?
I've seen a few svelte burlesque girls do this and the point is to suddenly turn from a romantic vanilla to a sexy demon-lady. Of course our gorl fails spectacularly. That video was very painful to watch.
 
This belongs in one of the staterooms of the Overlook Hotel. Stevie K himself couldn’t have conjured a demonic spirit this horrifying.

ETA: I watched it again, and I don’t understand how this is supposed to read as “sexy” rather than “ghost reveal from horror movie.” Am I missing the point? Is this “challenge” supposed to be creepy as fuck?
Creepy or not, it sure is a great way to hide cottage cheese cellulite, straps engulfed by yeasty folds, and the foot gap between the two sides of the corset along the back.
 
This belongs in one of the staterooms of the Overlook Hotel. Stevie K himself couldn’t have conjured a demonic spirit this horrifying.

ETA: I watched it again, and I don’t understand how this is supposed to read as “sexy” rather than “ghost reveal from horror movie.” Am I missing the point? Is this “challenge” supposed to be creepy as fuck?

I would gladly take the rotting old lady out of the bathtub over Tess any day.
Creepy or not, it sure is a great way to hide cottage cheese cellulite, straps engulfed by yeasty folds, and the foot gap between the two sides of the corset along the back.

What it can’t hide are all the flabby lumps that constitute Tess’ thighs? Stomach? No one really knows any more.
 
Tess is brave to do the silhouette challenge after it’s come out that people can edit the filter so you can see everything wanting to be hidden.

From the first article I found about it-
The trend was intended to be a sexy, body-positive challenge, but it was hijacked by individuals who used software to remove the red filter from the videos to reveal women’s bodies in full, whether they’re clothed, partially clothed, or nude.

She probably made this video immediately after seeing this scandal all over twitter the last few days.
 
Sorry for double posting but it was too horrible not to share.

Tess has had Olly shove her into one of Tess’s old, long outgrown corsets, thrown an old robe over it to hide that it can't close and the spillage is unimaginable, and pretended to be sexy. Because abuse, obviously. She hasn't had a waist of any sort for the past 5 years, no way one showed up last night for a visit.
View attachment 1898235

Is this the Black Lodge? What kind of eldrich horror did she release?
View attachment 1898239
I’m addicted to tiktok. This challenge is supposed to be a flex, basically showing off your body in the form of a silhouette. Tess’ hypocrisy strikes again because she’s wearing a corset and not showing off her true silhouette. This is anti body positivity because she’s trying to look like a woman with an hourglass and flat stomach when she’s 400 pounds. That’s even more unnatural and unobtainable than Kylie Jenner’s body.
 
Nick, if you're reading this - archive and screenshot EVERYTHING. It's going to be the best ammo not just for the custody case but for when Tess' victim narrative against you gains traction outside of her NPC bubble.

I'm sorry to have to break the news - Nick doesn't want the kid.

He likes roleplaying as a caring, involved father on reddit (I'd even assume that he's convinced himself that he's a great dad), but if custody of Bowie would be handed to him on a silver platter he absolutely wouldn't take the boy. I'm getting some Schofield dad vibes: talk big about caring, loving and worrying, even undercover shit-talking the crazy mom online (on our very own Kiwi Farms!); but when the kids were finally removed from insane mom they were shipped into foster care because he didn't want them.

Nick has it made: living it up as a single dude far away from the responsibility of caring for and nurturing a child, experimenting with his gender stuff AND getting to pretend he's an involved, active dad while getting sympathy from everyone ("poor Nicky can't see his boy!😢").

TLDR: Nick's a huge shit and so is Tess. Poor Bowie is completely fucked.
 
LOL, No one believes you do "hot pilates", Tess. You'd go into cardiac arrest and keel over like the beached whale you are.

No one believes you do just plain pilates, either. Those clothes will be dry not due to "moisture wicking", but because the only workouts you do are the mental gymnastics of passing yourself off as KA-WEER and a SUPAMODDLE.

Scratch that. Those clothes will still be soaked in sweat merely from Tess's warm, yeasty folds.
 
The flabletics thing makes me MATI goddamn. It's so fucking wasteful! They're sending trash like Tess new clothing every single month, clothing that will most likely end up in trash and on top of that "athletic" wear is pretty much the worst when it's not recycled properly.
 
The flabletics thing makes me MATI goddamn. It's so fucking wasteful! They're sending trash like Tess new clothing every single month, clothing that will most likely end up in trash and on top of that "athletic" wear is pretty much the worst when it's not recycled properly.
Tess will wear them just once to shill them on her social media, and then sell it on Depop in hopes that a fat fetishist will pay a premium to sniff her yeasty aroma.
 
Ten Ton Tess is definitely under pressure from Flabletics to show her pretending to model the clothes while pretending to exercise instead of trying them once in her room and that’s it. I remember her throwing a tantrum about it but if she wants more cake and weed money, she’s going to have to waddle to a Pilates gym once a month and pretend to do exercise. Tess considers this abusive behavior and gaslighting. Her life is so hard y’all :(
 
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