You know somewhere in the world there is a dusty, forgotten VHS tape of him making a dellorvictorian speech. It will be found the day after the last of us have died.
Lol no, fuck no. One copy exists, maybe two. One is somewhere in the attic or basement of his frail, dying parents' house. When they're both dead, the estate appraiser tosses it right in the garbage, which is exactly where it & every video record of every Stepdad Lecture he has ever given, belongs.
The other one, if any, is or was in some weathered storage room of the AV department of his high school, & chances are the nerd teenager who recorded it 21y ago is now the CEO of something. When that room gets cleared out to expand the digital studio, it'll get the same fate as the other one.
Lol, no one cares about the valedictorian. Or the salutatorian. They're nothing but 30 more minutes of roadblock to everyone getting tf outta dodge. Most of all the kids stuck there in dresses & really gay hats for 2+h, waiting anxiously to stand up & leave high school in their vapor trails forever.
Graduations are fucking insufferable. You go to make noise & snap some pictures of the one you shat out, maybe a few of their friends, & in 2000, you hauled your VHS-C along to record 56 seconds max, of your little darling getting his handshake, paper scroll & awards. Mayyyyybe something else if administration landed some epic speaker, like George Carlin or Henry Rollins, or something.
Lol no one records that podium speeching shit unless it's their kid. And if they do, they never watch it again. And if they do, they fast the fuck forward through Babby Fatbert's aggrandizing & everything else.
But more than likely, no one gave a fuck, & only a couple of cameras were rolling at all.
All that said, yeah I'd watch that shit though, lol. There wouldn't be any surprises, but it'd be funny as fuck. Air of superiority DSRee is 2nd only to Double-Digits DSRee.
