So where are the paparazzi shots, Tess? If there were so many invading your privacy, they must be littering the internet with your pics
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2021
I thought that too... then I realised of course, therefore, it must have been shopped to Madonna inn and back...
I am not expert but that fucking window is literally about to open horizontally if she pulls her waist in anymore.
Seriously in the black and white pic it doesn't even look the window is there anymore pas her gunt?! She maybe losing her eyesight to diabetic neuropathy but the rest of us are not.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2020
Euh, since she called the papz does this mean we're gonna see the dude she's been teasing while asking for privacy?
Istg she has like two or three paparazzi shots, even at her peak no one cared.
Istg she has like two or three paparazzi shots, even at her peak no one cared.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
Lol so far it looks like the "paparazzi" is one random lady from pilates.
Peep that un-waist.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
'Y'all will stay in place because of the massive gravitational pull you'll produce!"
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2021
Sorry but this deserves it's own lunacy post.
All the other sloppy shopping and why not this absolute weapon of a cloven hoof.
All the other sloppy shopping and why not this absolute weapon of a cloven hoof.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
A lot of paparazzi shots are planned and staged in advance by the celebrity's publicist, with the intention of getting them posted on the Daily Fail, TMZ, and other celebrity trash sites.
No paps are following Tess around, because nobody actually gives a shit about her, and her pics aren't worth anything. But funny, that they just happen to catch her as she's leaving a gym for the first time in months, where she's taken pains to photograph herself looking sweaty, yet suspiciously dry, while touting the virtues of Flabletics and not actually doing any hot Pilates.
Expect those pics to show up in the Daily Fail, soon; Tess looking like a sweaty pink sausage in that uh-mazing moisture-wicking Flabletics garb will ensure a lot of page views, shared links, and a lively comments section.
I doubt Flabletics is in on this one, but it may be a way for Tess to prove to them she is still relevant enough to keep shilling their brand. She was so lazy about it before, with all of her half-assed in-bedroom try-ons, I wouldn't be surprised if they demanded she step up her game, and this is what her publicist came up with.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
HAHAHA. Tess is coping by trying to imagine that she's being snapped by the paparazzi and not some rando that wants proof for her IG friends of the beached whale she saw flailing at her pilates class.
Tess only made the effort to drive over an hour away to her workouts because she obviously hoped that all the "paps" that were there to photograph ACTUAL celebrities would notice her too.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
Neat, just yesterday we were all saying, “uh she’s just taking photos in an empty room, no video during class, she doesn’t appear to be doing pilates at all, and doesn’t she always tag her ‘trainer’ when she has one?”
Suddenly today, video during the class! Suddenly today she tagged trainer Sora Connor, who like OMG BEST FRIEND, SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE YOUUUUU, not sure why I waited til the second class to name drop ya, weird.
Suddenly, the “paprazzi” spotted her coming out of class, a thing that totes happened accidentally because she’s definitely working out! She didn’t call a photographer up and pay them for some “candids” to sell to the Daily Mail! See, fabletics?? She’s working out, swearsies!! Pictures in the studio AND outside!!! Promise!!
Christ Tess, you’re more desperate than Courtney “faked a pregnancy then called the paparazzi to come film her as she pretended to fall down and have a miscarriage” Stodden. You’re sadder than that, because at least Stodden can still get loads of trashy modeling gigs.
Suddenly today, video during the class! Suddenly today she tagged trainer Sora Connor, who like OMG BEST FRIEND, SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE YOUUUUU, not sure why I waited til the second class to name drop ya, weird.
Suddenly, the “paprazzi” spotted her coming out of class, a thing that totes happened accidentally because she’s definitely working out! She didn’t call a photographer up and pay them for some “candids” to sell to the Daily Mail! See, fabletics?? She’s working out, swearsies!! Pictures in the studio AND outside!!! Promise!!
Christ Tess, you’re more desperate than Courtney “faked a pregnancy then called the paparazzi to come film her as she pretended to fall down and have a miscarriage” Stodden. You’re sadder than that, because at least Stodden can still get loads of trashy modeling gigs.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Funny how quickly Tess walked back on her resolution to no longer "prove I work out, y'all!" once Flabletics threatened to pull her sponsorship for not actually working out in their clothes. I wonder why Tess' prior "trainer" Massey didn't play along this time.
A D-list actress and wannabe heath guru like Sora must have stupidly decided to help Tess' workout LARPing in exchange for "exposure" on Tess' social media. If anything, that footage of the land mantee trying (and failing) to look sexy while flopping around would convince people to NOT attend her pilates classes for fear of Tess tripping and crushing anyone next to her.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
Oy vey. She looks like a morbidly obese toddler trying to move around. And yes, Sora is a z-list bottom feeder trying to use y-list Tess to drum up interest in her hot pilates thing.
And as far as flabletics...Who wouldn't want their workout clothes to be advertised as see through because the moddle is wearing it three sizes too small?
Send more cake money, pls
And as far as flabletics...Who wouldn't want their workout clothes to be advertised as see through because the moddle is wearing it three sizes too small?
Send more cake money, pls
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
She looks like a giant baby.Send more cake money, pls
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Tess looks like something you'd find in the haunted mall in Silent Hill 3
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2019
She IS a giant baby.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
Jesus, I had to doubletake what the hell I'm even watching. She's just a blob, like a giant mountain of flesh.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2020
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
I love how she tries to show off one of the stretches at the end like “look, I CAN do pilates!” And then immediately gives up on trying to hold it, lol.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2019
This video just proves that Tess is just dicking around in some studio, taking pictures in her fabletics just so they won't drop her ass for using their product to lay about in her room.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
She's made her coffee into candy. It never ceases to amaze me how many ways fats find to fat up their food.
What's more incredible is that they are convinced that this is how everyone eats, and that we just don't talk about it. No, Ryann. My coffee is coffee, not a white trash child's sugerbomb cereal.
What's more incredible is that they are convinced that this is how everyone eats, and that we just don't talk about it. No, Ryann. My coffee is coffee, not a white trash child's sugerbomb cereal.
