Lookism.net - Sluthate's Even More Autistic Spinoff

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scar_face40 said:
What you wrote makes sense. The thing is, I have taken the initiative in the past. I don't know how some people can approach 50+ girls. get rejected, but still continue to chase them. I find it mentally draining after rejection from 1 girl and it just doesn't seem worth it after a few.
I also think it's a bit more extreme for the really attractive guys than just 'get an extra 30 seconds [chance]'. Some guys at Uni are so good looking, girls practically throw themselves at them.
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And this makes sense. We all know the saying "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". I can't think of any reason for you to continue to chase girls only to get rejected. I can also see how it's a lot easier to believe it's because of looks and not something much more abstract such as confidence, personality, swag or whatever you want to call that thing that people have that make them attractive to the opposite sex.

I'm going to power-level some, I'm almost twice your age and I live in a heavily populated large city in the US. I'm also involved in the music scene here, that means I see a lot of different personalities amongst a wide range of ages and their social interactions. I'm not saying my observations are necessarily more valid, but I believe my observations over the course of two decades are closer to reality than the beliefs of much younger people who have virtually no experience with women. Yes, it's true that the men that are obviously good-looking do seem to have an advantage in approach and attraction at first. But what I see is that most women then measure their personalities and from there you see a lot of good-looking dudes get shot down because they end up being overly-obnoxious or worse. I think once you get outside the myopic bubble of the college party scene and into the mainstream world, thing will appear to work differently. Also, I believe the college party scene is probably the worst place for someone in your situation to be and it's also the worst place to observe social interactions for an insight into the world at large.

As far as solutions, I believe set and setting play a huge role in how you perceive they world. If one places themselves amongst negative people who almost constantly complain about society, women, their looks etc... that will distort your view and move you further away from an objective viewpoint and further from feeling good about yourself. My therapist had a piece of advice that at the time seemed very obvious, but I just wasn't seeing it. You have to surround yourself with positive people that will encourage you and not feed your negative tendencies. It's very easy to get sucked into that rabbit hole of cynicism and irrationality, but it feels so much better not to and be around positive energy and it is really is a step in the right direction to be okay with yourself and in-turn having women be okay with you. I can tell from personal experience, women don't care much for dudes that are negative, cynical and not okay with themselves.

I know my 'situation' isn't as bad as some guys out there. Part of why I posted on sluthate and lookism is because I generally agree with some of the 'theories discussion. Not that they necessarily apply to me.
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The problem is they claim their theories are universal. If you agree with them, by default they would have to apply to you.
 
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scar_face40 said:
I also think it's a bit more extreme for the really attractive guys than just 'get an extra 30 seconds [chance]'. Some guys at Uni are so good looking, girls practically throw themselves at them.
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I'm sure you do.

You are describing a very narrow demographic (18-21), in a very specific setting (university. Party). Having spent many, many years in Uni, in certain settings you are right. Stick a bunch of people in a room and people eye up the most attractive ones. Duh. Not to mention younger people in general will put more emphasis on appearance as a key factor for attraction than the general population.

And this, to you, justifies the butthurtitude, the black/white thinking, the splitting - "I don't have a chance!!"

Uni is full of nerds who are getting laid. Full of them. Med students. Musicians. Artists. The fucking Ultimate Frisbee team. Entertainment reps for the SU are typically short and fat yet seem to consistently outperform their face. I wonder why?

And yet you base all these beliefs on a short walk around a nightclub-style setting, on a tiny demographic. This is pants on head retarded my friend.

EDIT: what @supdup said
 
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Nara said:
There's no easy fix for not having a partner. You can't force a girl to date you, even if you do get plastic surgery. So you can either deal with it and move on or cry over it. Guess which one Lookism is dedicated to?
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No, there is no fix for not having a partner. But one can do things to fix their problems; emotional, mentally, etc .. and that usually results in a greater chance of getting that elusive partner.
 
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MyBalls YourChin said:
I'm sure you do.

You are describing a very narrow demographic (18-21), in a very specific setting (university. Party). Having spent many, many years in Uni, in certain settings you are right. Stick a bunch of people in a room and people eye up the most attractive ones. Duh. Not to mention younger people in general will put more emphasis on appearance as a key factor for attraction than the general population.

And this, to you, justifies the butthurtitude, the black/white thinking, the splitting - "I don't have a chance!!"

Uni is full of nerds who are getting laid. Full of them. Med students. Musicians. Artists. The fucking Ultimate Frisbee team. Entertainment reps for the SU are typically short and fat yet seem to consistently outperform their face. I wonder why?

And yet you base all these beliefs on a short walk around a nightclub-style setting, on a tiny demographic. This is pants on head retarded my friend.

EDIT: what @supdup said
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Quoted for truth. Lookism would die laughing if they saw a photo of my spouse at 17 and probably advise him to kill himself. Anorak, acne, weak chin, big specs, the lot. Doesn't matter a fuck, honestly, if you have other actually-important things going for you. Like smarts, wit, interests, giving off the impression that you are actually not-desperate and happy with yourself. Desperation is the least attractive thing in a potential romantic partner. The only people who want to become someone else's whole life and entire happiness are legit psychos. The desperate attract the abusive and crazy. Do not be desperate. There are honest-to-god worse things than being single, and being yoked to a nutjob who terrorises you is defo one of them. No girl will go out with a guy who is obviously desperate because that makes her look desperate as well. No girl will go out with a guy who hit on everyone she knows because then she looks like the bottom of the reject pile.

@scar_face40

Dude, four hours a night on that shit forum? For the love of god, how much painting and converting could you get done in that time? You could rattle up a 1500 points project from scratch in, what, four to six weeks if you'd put in four hours a night?

Actually, do that. Get a project. Even if it has to be spess murheens. Get a project, open a project log post on B&C or Dakka or somewhere and do something with your time that reflects your interests and your skills rather than wallowing in feels about girls. The world is awash with girls. A half-decent one will cross your path and you will be fine. Everyone's dick gets wet eventually. Chill.

Also, stop with this chin crap. The jawline you desire, according to that diagram, is going to make you look like a fucking Ork. You'll get plenty of looks, sure. They will all be thinking "my god, that poor dude's jaw, why does he not get that fixed, he looks like a gorilla". Leave your bloody face alone. You are a perfectly decent looking dude. Jfc, you've been wargaming, right? You know what a disaster area of a guy looks like; you're not one.

You gotta stop engaging in this negative thinking about yourself. It achieves nothing. Also, why the hell would ANYONE approach fifty girls? You approach fifty girls in a smallish community like a university, and I promise you, you will get fifty knockbacks. Here is why: if a guy is approaching literally every girl you know, you know by the time he approaches you that he's just desperate and looking for someone, anyone, to fuck. He doesn't like you. He doesn't even know you. You ain't special. Why would that make you want to fuck him?! Are you that desperate? Fuck no, kick this loser to the curb!

Cold approaching is a fucking guarantee of failure. Stop it. You're at uni. There are girls in your class. There are girls in your social groups. (Get some more stuff to do. Something boring like student politics is in fact a hilarious sexual soap opera. And you meet, like, everyone.) Get to know those girls, and THEN hit on the one or two you actually have some connection with.
 
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supdup said:
No, there is no fix for not having a partner. But one can do things to fix their problems; emotional, mentally, etc .. and that usually results in a greater chance of getting that elusive partner.
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Yes, that's true. What I meant was that getting surgery isn't going to solve their problems.
 
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scar_face40 said:
I only started obsessing about looks related things a year ago and it's got worse over time, but I did notice the things I'm talking about even before this.
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scar_face40 said:
It's pretty much telling someone to 'just snap out of depression'. I've got to the point where I get home from work at 5:30, eat dinner, and spend the next 4 hours mindlessly refreshing lookism, reading scientific reports on aesthetics and researching surgery.
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You are clearly aware that you have a problem and you have indicated that you are seeking help for it. Why enable it with this sort of shit?

scar_face40 said:
Awful quality photo, but how my jaw and neck should look
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what the fuck is it with you people and the jaw silhouettes dude goddamn
 
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Nara said:
There's no easy fix for not having a partner. You can't force a girl to date you, even if you do get plastic surgery. So you can either deal with it and move on or cry over it. Guess which one Lookism is dedicated to?
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Sure, there's no easy fix, but there are definitely several areas to work on before giving up and coping with your undesirability.
 
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scar_face40 said:
I find it mentally draining after rejection from 1 girl and it just doesn't seem worth it after a few.
I also think it's a bit more extreme for the really attractive guys than just 'get an extra 30 seconds [chance]'. Some guys at Uni are so good looking, girls practically throw themselves at them.
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Yeah but these guys also enjoy being flirtatious, many of them just like the positive vibes they're getting back all the time. Because of this if they wanna get laid or get a girlfriend they already know who will probably be responsive to their advances.

They're putting in effort but getting rejected isn't as big of deal either. They're not trying to get laid they're just feeling good.
 
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