Is there a word for this kind of behaviour? Insecurity? Self pity? I feel like Ryan doesn't have enough self esteem to be happy with who he truly is so he has to seek the validation of others online in order to get that sense of belonging. Obviously Ryan isn't trans, he's not comfortable with labelling himself with any of the new twitter buzzwords that are used for the new social justice crowd (hence his uncertainty with polyamory and using they/them pronouns), and he's having some feels about his mental illness. Someone in this thread recommended that he start going for walks and I have to second this. I really hope that Ryan can move on from Twitter, maybe start doing writing that isn't erotica and start spending his time doing healthy hobbies.
It’s called an emotional vampire and they are the
worst to deal with.
Note in the top quote, this man whinges on and on about how he’ll never be any good, any better...and when the person talking to him firmly states that Ryan DOES have value and can succeed, Ryan actually gets angry, calls their convo an “argument” and logs off.
If you know a person like Ryan, you know this is how a lot of “helpful suggestions” for them end. They start off bemoaning how they are
failures and
worthless and
can’t do anything right. They want you to soothe them and pity them and “awww hun I’m so sorry you’re sad” and give them attention.
The
last fucking thing they want is good advice or to be told they can improve their situation and change. I knew a girl very similar to Ryan with the “poor me I’ve accomplished nothing in life, I’m worthless and lazy and hopeless and ugly and blah blah.” The more you tried to suggest easy changes for her to make, or solutions to her problems, the more she’d make up insane excuses why she couldn’t do them.
Insane excuses, like “I
can’t make a to-do list, because then I’ll have a piece of
paper in my room and it’s so cluttered already! And I can’t find a pen.”
The more you suggested good, easy changes to make, the more passively hostile she would get as you tried to help her, because she wasn’t getting her pity fix. She didn’t WANT to improve or be helped, she wanted you to coddle her and tell her how sad you were for her. She wanted you to listen for
hours while she expounded upon all her woes.
Eventually she would cut off any advice givers by just saying she was worthless and could not make any changes ever ever ever cuz she’s sad and pathetic and can’t do anything. In essence: “shut UP and stop giving me help, I don’t
want help, I want pity and attention.” If you still tried to insist she was capable of changing, she would turn hostile because her pity supply wasn't paying out and she would log off. Just like Ryan.
People like Ryan don’t want to change or improve, not consciously. They want to be the saddest and most pathetic in order to gain attention, because it’s the only attention they’ll get. They don’t believe that improving their life will turn them into someone that people actually
want to pay attention to, rather than being forced to by pity. They have one drug to which they are addicted and that’s “attention via complaining.” Advising them to go for walks or eat better or summat does nothing. They are the junkie hobo who begs for change and claims to be hungry, but when you buy them a meal, they secretly throw it out, because what they really wanted was money for drugs.
Without a lot of intense therapy, they will never kick that habit.
![:\](/styles/custom/emotes/svg/chris-confused.svg "Confused :\")
@SanderStanSecurity also appears to have been deleted
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