Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[boner_alert]

ok holy shit, i just found out about this guy. ofc he has a thread. going thru his channel now and im LOVIN IT. cringe af

Just out of curiosity, how'd you run into him? Or how'd you guess to google him or come here to check for a thread?

 

[WonderWino]

I bet if someone sent him this shirt and told him Gen Z women would find it sexy he'd wear it every day until it fell apart.

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Come on now....this would be far more effective with the ladies man tag:

I love how Lucas has SO little power over anyone or anything in his life that withholding the name of a song gets him all coy and smug. He knows something you don’t!! He’s winning at something!

I can totally see lucas walking a dog in the park and some zoomer bae coming up and asking what the dogs name is and lucas replying 'date me and i'll tell you!' or '$50 for that answer!' and then not understanding why she got real uncomfortable and took off in the opposite direction

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas is at his happiest while eating and imagining his dream future.

PhD. Family with children.

It's so pathetically predictable, at this point, to watch him masturbate his ego with nothing but gossamer fantasy and grease.

And this is Lucas at his happiest.

Junk food, and his dreams. Gorging. Spinning fictions.

He can't hear the voices on the wind over the sounds of his own chewing... and his own fantasizing.

No wonder one steak is never enough.

 

[boner_alert]

Lucas is at his happiest while eating and imagining his dream future.

PhD. Family with children.

It's so pathetically predictable, at this point, to watch him masturbate his ego with nothing but gossamer fantasy and grease.

And this is Lucas at his happiest.

Junk food, and his dreams. Gorging. Spinning fictions.

He can't hear the voices on the wind over the sounds of his own chewing... and his own fantasizing.

No wonder one steak is never enough.

Like the story of the Little Match Girl but instead of matches, it's one greasy steak ruined by a hodgepodge of sauces and condiments after another. And most likely similar fate

 

[Wernology]

Dude fuck you, if someone sent me that shirt, I would wear it til it fell apart. Quark rules.

Oh, I'd wear it too.

It'd only be funny if Lucas wore it thinking it'd get him laid because you know damn well he has no idea who Quark is and if he googled it he'd almost certainly get it completely wrong.

 

[NaggotFigger]

When I check Lucas's main channel, I decided to see one of his latest videos.
The one that I watched recently was a 9:35 minutes long vlog of him eating at the Incrediburger and discussing about fast food brands, and think about what happens if he was a dad and his school studies.

Mucus, you're fucking 41 y.o and you're apparently too old for college, and lol you can't even afford the money for your children if you were a dad and still being poor. You can't even improve yourself, even if you say that you want to improve your own life, you just making yourself a big failure incel more than a successful guy. Trying to become a geneticist may take a long time to study, as it requires you to study biology, and another thing right, is that do you even study biology before trying to claim that you want to be a geneticist? Lol, you say 15 years to study to become a geneticist seems long enough, but then you're already 56 and nobody really wants to recruit you, Mucus.

Lol, if you really want to put an idea for the dissertation, try to research something new, instead of put up the shit that already researched before. Genetic mixing is already fully written, not like if you claim that it doesn't exist yet and you put up 5 ~ 10 years to write retarded documents that is floundered with bullshit for the already existed thesis, you delusional fat poor incel.
O rly, Mucus? Are you sure about that you'll exactly do one of these things you want to do? Writing a document about the both already existed ones? Ah please, I bet you would not write it anyway.

If you want to actually write about the telomerase about women from age 18 to 24 and men from 35 to 55 and combining both of these, go do some research instead of just recording your face and trying to put claims that you'll just never do. Experiments in the lab and make sure it would be effective fodder to make babies? Incel, please, you aren't even capable of do an experiment and the only thing you're good at is being an delusional, bipolar, creepy, obese, narcissitic. schizophrenic fucking failure of a man that is you, Mucus. No fucking millenial or any kind of women will actually willing to fell in love with you by the first sight, fucking incel.

The final segments is about him complimenting the burger, talking about rotating suns and wanting to eat at The Onion soon.

TL;DH&W, Mucus just being an idiotic delusional pedophile and makes claims nobody cares about...

 

[AbraCadaver]

Lucas is at his happiest while eating and imagining his dream future.

PhD. Family with children.

It's so pathetically predictable, at this point, to watch him masturbate his ego with nothing but gossamer fantasy and grease.

And this is Lucas at his happiest.

Junk food, and his dreams. Gorging. Spinning fictions.

He can't hear the voices on the wind over the sounds of his own chewing... and his own fantasizing.

No wonder one steak is never enough.

I think his dream future is not “family with children,” it’s “eating for free at King Roy’s house forever with teen girl to have sex with and a (conveniently in the other room at all times until it turns into a young girl) baby to validate his worth as a man and prove once and for all that his dick isn’t useless.”

Don’t imply he has heartwarming thoughts about raising a family. He only wants a baby to get back into Roy’s elk kingdom and to tie a young women to him sexually, and to prove to the world he can procreate. He doesn’t give a fuck about raising an actual family. Case in point, he only ever fantasizes up to the point where his teen wife is pregnant. He has no dreams of taking his child to sporting events, of teaching a kid to ride a bicycle, of birthday parties or reading to them at night or watching them graduate.

His demands and dreams go right up to the point of birth, and then he claims the state will pay for the baby to be raised and his wife will do the rest of the work, with Lucas “helping” to change diapers once in a blue moon. He clearly sees being a father and doing required father things as “helping” his wife, meaning it’s technically her job to do all the baby stuff and Lucas is just pitching in a bit.

Where are his dreams of a family after the baby is born? Nowhere much, until the baby, a required girl, is old enough to call him “daddy,” which he says is hot and would be the “best part” of being a father. Mind you, he specifically said he wanted a daughter to call him daddy, not a son. There is nothing innocent about it.

He doesn’t want a family. He wants a wife to fuck and to do all the work and all the chores, a baby to prove his dick isn’t too small to procreate (and to bring in another government cheque and eventually get him back into his inheritance and Roy’s nice food-filled free house), and thus two people he can order around and feel superior to as the Man Of The House. Eventually, the daughter will grow up to supplant the wife as Lucas’ new sex mommy, because she’s Lucas’ offspring and he believes he owns her.

He wants to sit at home doing fuck all and being coddled and supported by a wife, paid handsomely by the government for managing to reproduce, waiting until his daughter is of a prime molestable age, and getting a fat inheritance from family when they pass because he made a grandson for them with his sour sperm.

He doesn’t want to take care of a family. He wants a family so it will take care of him. Because he is a giant, mewling, shitting, whinging baby who cannot take care of himself.

 

[Purgatorium]

Normally I’m fine waking up to his bullshit. But this morning I woke up feeling ashamed that I’m bipolar and he singlehandedly made sure that I feel nasty about it. The only thing I’m keeping in mind is that I’m not led to insanity because I work hard everyday to deal with my shit, get the therapy that I can’t do without and keep the irrational crazy thoughts to myself. I am watching him on insta being all kinds of delusional and wish that one day I’ll get angry enough to slam all the facts he’s ignoring in his face. Sometimes I feel like it takes “one of him” to get through to him, even though that’s probably wishful thinking. The low-level trolls on his insta are aggravating too. Are they equally dumb and lacking in IQ points and is this really the best they can do? Lucas is evolutionary surplus, balls deep into his delusions. I fucking want to crack his pulp head for a brain.

/end of rant

 

[eee-e2]

I have a new theory on his schizophrenia and his delusions. I think that his "six chicks at a time flatbills" or the "4 year olds that wanted to have s*x with him" are all delusions and not real people. I think this because Lucas said he was smoking weed outside rite-aid in a podcast and that was when the flatbill guy with 6 chicks came up to him and asked him how he was doing. As many of you guys know cannabis and schizophrenia do not mix whatsoever. I feel like Lucas imagined this guy because it is part of his delusions. I can't help but wonder how much of what Lucas tells us is drug fueled delusions. He may be more manic and mentally ill for periods of time where he's smoking weed or shortly after.

Edit: Also that interview is the worst one. A bunch of passive aggressive nerdy discord weirdos and a middle aged SJW woman referring to blacks as "my brothers" freaking out about Lucas saying nigga and getting emotional about it. It's always fun to ask middle aged women what they think about older men dating younger girls because they 9/10 times will seethe.

 

[Poop Shoot]

I have a new theory on his schizophrenia and his delusions. I think that his "six chicks at a time flatbills" or the "4 year olds that wanted to have s*x with him" are all delusions and not real people.

Yes, totally a new theory. No one here ever thought that four year olds offering sex were all in his head.

 

[LeeLoo]

Fucking pathetic fat ass can’t even answer a simple, straightforward question, from his alleged target group, without desperately trying to sound like some deep new age intellect

 

[Da Dude123]

Fucking pathetic fat ass can’t even answer a simple, straightforward question, from his alleged target group, without desperately trying to sound deep like some deep new age intellect

What a dipshit. Eating like a slob disrupts the "establishment". No, it doesn't. The shelter just has sporks? If that is the case, then if you're gonna get a big steak, then also buy some plastic forks and knives. Or, since eating is such a significant part of Lucas's life and identity buy a couple sets of real stainless steel forks and knives. You could buy a fork and knife from Dollar General for under $5. Carry those in the hobo sack. Have sort of a makeshift mess kit. And then wash them between uses and dry with a paper towel.

But this is Lucas we are talking about. He is not even competent at being a hobo. Spending money on a fork and knife wouldn't make sense to him. He can just eat steak with his hands and off a dirty floor. No problem at all! Unreal.

 

[Wernology]

Kind of pleased that he's mad enough to start commenting on videos again.

This one in particular made me laugh, because he legitimately thinks he didn't turn that steak into gray shoe leather.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Lucas is at his happiest while eating and imagining his dream future.

PhD. Family with children.

It's so pathetically predictable, at this point, to watch him masturbate his ego with nothing but gossamer fantasy and grease.

And this is Lucas at his happiest.

Junk food, and his dreams. Gorging. Spinning fictions.

He can't hear the voices on the wind over the sounds of his own chewing... and his own fantasizing.

No wonder one steak is never enough.

I had the same thought watching the incrediburger video. The only time you see Lucas truly happy and content is when he is eating his lavish meals.

Drugs and alcohol don’t even come close to having the same effect on him.

Lucas’s relationship with food as a coping mechanism goes deep, as has been discussed many times. I find it to be one of the more interesting things about him. I guarantee if you set an endless supply of good food in front of him he would continue to gorge until he split in two. It’d be like placing a never ending supply of heroin in front of a heroin addict. They would eventually OD.

Food is Lucas’s true addiction. His one trusted escape from the stresses of his useless life.

(Too bad he never put two and two together and started a food blog to review local restaurants. He would have quite a back catalog going by now.)

 

[ShiningBrightly]

Just out of curiosity, how'd you run into him? Or how'd you guess to google him or come here to check for a thread?

a fellow lolcow enthusiast shared one of his vids with me

 

[dirtydeanna96]

I bet if someone sent him this shirt and told him Gen Z women would find it sexy he'd wear it every day until it fell apart.

View attachment 1906773

Quark had many friends, and ran a successful business. He also helped hide the space jews from the space nazis. What did Quark ever do to deserve being on a Lucas shirt?

 

[AnOminous]

You could buy a fork and knife from Dollar General for under $5. Carry those in the hobo sack. Have sort of a makeshift mess kit. And then wash them between uses and dry with a paper towel.

But this is Lucas we are talking about. He is not even competent at being a hobo.

He's too dumb even to watch a Steve1989MREInfo video or two and figure out how to get it out on a tray.

What did Quark ever do to deserve being on a Lucas shirt?

Nothing. Quark is cool and should be left out of all Pucas content.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Normally I’m fine waking up to his bullshit. But this morning I woke up feeling ashamed that I’m bipolar and he singlehandedly made sure that I feel nasty about it. The only thing I’m keeping in mind is that I’m not led to insanity because I work hard everyday to deal with my shit, get the therapy that I can’t do without and keep the irrational crazy thoughts to myself. I am watching him on insta being all kinds of delusional and wish that one day I’ll get angry enough to slam all the facts he’s ignoring in his face. Sometimes I feel like it takes “one of him” to get through to him, even though that’s probably wishful thinking. The low-level trolls on his insta are aggravating too. Are they equally dumb and lacking in IQ points and is this really the best they can do? Lucas is evolutionary surplus, balls deep into his delusions. I fucking want to crack his pulp head for a brain.

/end of rant

What would you say to him to get through his thick skull?

Question for you all. Would you say it’s a bad idea to mess with Lucas by telling him he should pin up his noncy poetry around SEC or encouraging him to follow through on his pickup schemes? I think the answer is obviously yes it’s a bad idea but on IG it seems people want to elicit a response from Lucas to do something different than his usual boring diatribes. I’m more curious about provoking him to think differently or admit something we don’t already know. The thing is he is one of the most shallow human beings I have ever encountered, there is really nothing there below the surface of the endless loop of autistic obsession that he exhibits on a daily basis with food, fertility and trying to convince himself and his “audience” that he’s not a total failure.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Someone put a note on the toaster oven. Looks like people are getting sick of him setting off the smoke alarm. I suspect he'll keep doing it until they have to just remove it. I was wondering about that recently, there was a video a while back where he got yelled at for setting off the smoke alarm and he's still been cooking outlandish shit in it this whole time. Not that Lucas ever learns from experience though.

 

[another idiot]

Someone put a note on the toaster oven. Looks like people are getting sick of him setting off the smoke alarm. I suspect he'll keep doing it until they have to just remove it. I was wondering about that recently, there was a video a while back where he got yelled at for setting off the smoke alarm and he's still been cooking outlandish shit in it this whole time. Not that Lucas ever learns from experience though.

That's Lucas' handwriting. He put the note there.