Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Has the depression stage of his cycle started?

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Question for you all. Would you say it’s a bad idea to mess with Lucas by telling him he should pin up his noncy poetry around SEC or encouraging him to follow through on his pickup schemes? I think the answer is pretty obvious but on IG it seems people want to elicit a response from Lucas to do something different than his usual boring diatribes. I’m more curious about provoking him to think differently or admit something we don’t already know. The thing is he is one of the most shallow human beings I have ever encountered, there is really nothing there below the surface of the endless loop of autistic obsession that he exhibits on a daily basis with food, fertility and trying to convince himself and his “audience” that he’s not a total failure.

I stopped reading half way through the second sentence.

The short answer, don’t mess with Lucas at all.

He is a content machine all by himself.

Why ruin that with some stupid scheme?

 

[Da Dude123]

I stopped reading half way through the second sentence.

The short answer, don’t mess with Lucas at all.

He is a content machine all by himself.

Why ruin that with some stupid scheme?

Lucas is pretty much self milking and will produce content on his own. However, I have to admit some good things have come from trolling him. Goldoar did induce one of Lucas's best chimpouts and the trip to LA was entertaining, although it kind of backfired with boosting Lucas's already big ego.

So, I don't know. It honestly is not necessary to mess with him, but it can produce hilarious results too. I lean on letting the cow graze....But the temptation to mess with him is a real thing.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I stopped reading half way through the second sentence.

The short answer, don’t mess with Lucas at all.

He is a content machine all by himself.

Why ruin that with some stupid scheme?

It’s funny to think if no one engaged with him he’d still be making videos and rambling to himself

 

[mothman96]

Is that the Freaks writing on that note ? He spilled grease on the bottom of the toaster oven so of course it's going to smoke.

eta:
question on writing already posted.

 

[Fatal Walter]

I just went back and watched both the MOVE ON chimpout and the YOU GET PUSSY WHILE I GET CHICKEN one and they're both top shelf Lucas stuff. Maybe even more top shelf than his 12$ brandy. So at least there was a pay off for all that stupid podcast shit.
The other pay off was watching him use the podcast to try to flex on Chris Hansen.

Edit: Oh right, I should mention again, the woman with Chris Hansen was nowhere near underage. She was like 31.

 

[Nointey]

this guy is basically a child who never grew up from the horny phase

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Jesus Christ, Lucas, shut the fuck up.

 

[Poop Shoot]

I get wanting to fuck with Lucas, but when he has 10 different people doing it all the same time - it tends to ruin the cows.

Everything in moderation, and he's had more than enough attention for a while. I think taking away that attention would hurt him more now than the catfish.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Normally I’m fine waking up to his bullshit. But this morning I woke up feeling ashamed that I’m bipolar and he singlehandedly made sure that I feel nasty about it. The only thing I’m keeping in mind is that I’m not led to insanity because I work hard everyday to deal with my shit, get the therapy that I can’t do without and keep the irrational crazy thoughts to myself. I am watching him on insta being all kinds of delusional and wish that one day I’ll get angry enough to slam all the facts he’s ignoring in his face. Sometimes I feel like it takes “one of him” to get through to him, even though that’s probably wishful thinking. The low-level trolls on his insta are aggravating too. Are they equally dumb and lacking in IQ points and is this really the best they can do? Lucas is evolutionary surplus, balls deep into his delusions. I fucking want to crack his pulp head for a brain.

/end of rant

No one curr, please if you need to rant, do it in chat. Hope your brain feels better.

I had the same thought watching the incrediburger video. The only time you see Lucas truly happy and content is when he is eating his lavish meals.

Drugs and alcohol don’t even come close to having the same effect on him.

Lucas’s relationship with food as a coping mechanism goes deep, as has been discussed many times. I find it to be one of the more interesting things about him. I guarantee if you set an endless supply of good food in front of him he would continue to gorge until he split in two. It’d be like placing a never ending supply of heroin in front of a heroin addict. They would eventually OD.

Food is Lucas’s true addiction. His one trusted escape from the stresses of his useless life.

(Too bad he never put two and two together and started a food blog to review local restaurants. He would have quite a back catalog going by now.)

Now here’s a fun Q: if offered a choice between ONE night with a zoomer bae (no babies, she’s infertile) OR a lifetime supply of all the narsty expensive foods he loves, which would Lucas choose? I’m betting the bae simply because he can’t think more than an hour ahead at a time or plan for the future.

Question for you all. Would you say it’s a bad idea to mess with Lucas by telling him he should pin up his noncy poetry around SEC or encouraging him to follow through on his pickup schemes? I think the answer is obviously yes it’s a bad idea but on IG it seems people want to elicit a response from Lucas to do something different than his usual boring diatribes. I’m more curious about provoking him to think differently or admit something we don’t already know. The thing is he is one of the most shallow human beings I have ever encountered, there is really nothing there below the surface of the endless loop of autistic obsession that he exhibits on a daily basis with food, fertility and trying to convince himself and his “audience” that he’s not a total failure.

Ffs it’s RIGHT there in Farms rules not to poke the cows or run little plans on how to mess with them. If you want to be a w.e.en go right ahead mate, but don’t post about it here later for arsepats. Our rule around here is to observe but NOT engage. That apparently gets overlooked in this thread a hell of a lot, but there have to be some limits. We are not the autistic illuminati.

e: in case someone somehow joined this site without reading the rules:

• Be civil. Don't get angry over Lolcows. If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
• Hide your powerlevel. Keep embarrassing details about your life to yourself. This is not your blog and we are not an asylum.
• No trolling plans. We are not an autistic Illuminati. If you embarrass yourself or the forum trying to troll, we will ridicule you.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Okay, we all know Lucas is brain-dead, but how do you "revive" something "to the Dust"? "Revive capitalism to the Dust"?

Lucas is making less and less sense as time goes on.

And I can now officially say, and feel free to drop all your mad on the internet ratings on me, that I detest Lucas's voice.

Just the sound of the raspy smug voice that comes out of his big melonhead Shivers my skin.... it's like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

Also: Lucas can only create one Melody. If you listen to all of his "songs", or sung poetry, the melody is always exactly the same.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Jesus Christ, Lucas, shut the fuck up.

No one curr, please if you need to rant, do it in chat. Hope your brain feels better.

Now here’s a fun Q: if offered a choice between ONE night with a zoomer bae (no babies, she’s infertile) OR a lifetime supply of all the narsty expensive foods he loves, which would Lucas choose? I’m betting the bae simply because he can’t think more than an hour ahead at a time or plan for the future.

Ffs it’s RIGHT there in Farms rules not to poke the cows or run little plans on how to mess with them. If you want to be a w.e.en go right ahead mate, but don’t post about it here later for arsepats. Our rule around here is to observe but NOT engage. That apparently gets overlooked in this thread a hell of a lot, but there have to be some limits. We are not the autistic illuminati.

e: in case someone somehow joined this site without reading the rules:

• Be civil. Don't get angry over Lolcows. If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
• Hide your powerlevel. Keep embarrassing details about your life to yourself. This is not your blog and we are not an asylum.
• No trolling plans. We are not an autistic Illuminati. If you embarrass yourself or the forum trying to troll, we will ridicule you.

New around here so I apologize

 

[AbraCadaver]

New around here so I apologize

Quite all right mate

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

What a dipshit. Eating like a slob disrupts the "establishment". No, it doesn't.

I used to work with a fat girl who followed this same line of logic. Supposedly the capitalist bourgeoisie don't want us focusing on how our food makes us feel or something, because then people would want more and revolt or something, so they make us waste our time focusing on eating polite to distract us, or something.

She had issues.

Jesus Christ, Lucas, shut the fuck up.

I kind of like his lunatic schizo rants, and I hope he keeps them up.

Much better than $50 question/insult comic Lucas.

Lucas is pretty much self milking and will produce content on his own. However, I have to admit some good things have come from trolling him. Goldoar did induce one of Lucas's best chimpouts and the trip to LA was entertaining, although it kind of backfired with boosting Lucas's already big ego.

So, I don't know. It honestly is not necessary to mess with him, but it can produce hilarious results too. I lean on letting the cow graze....But the temptation to mess with him is a real thing.

The sending of the frozen catfish to his hotel room was amazing though.

Lucas was pretty much crying beneath the angry hate-rant he posted that night.

 

[AbraCadaver]

I used to work with a fat girl who followed this same line of logic. Supposedly the capitalist bourgeoisie don't want us focusing on how our food makes us feel or something, because then people would want more and revolt or something, so they make us waste our time focusing on eating polite to distract us, or something.

She had issues.

I kind of like his lunatic schizo rants, and I hope he keeps them up.

Much better than $50 question/insult comic Lucas.


The sending of the frozen catfish to his hotel room was amazing though.

Lucas was pretty much crying beneath the angry hate-rant he posted that night.

I have to agree that the catfish was amazing, but that’s a once-in-a-lifetime amazing that you rarely get from people just prodding the cow on social media.

still.

that fish was dead hilarious.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Lol he was big mad about the frozen fish.

That’s why all the pokers need to back off. Let the experts do their work.

 

[Trainwreck]

The frozen catfish was the best thing to come out of 2020. I also think it was absolutely hilarious that Lucas said the person would be arrested for delivering it..

 

[wenttobermuda]

What a dipshit. Eating like a slob disrupts the "establishment". No, it doesn't.

Lucas defends his lack of manners and hygiene as a political statement. He presents his lust for fecund teen poon a political statement. Whether this is because he can't tell the personal from the political, or is unable to relate to anything that doesn't involve his gut and balls, is an interesting question.

a fellow lolcow enthusiast shared one of his vids with me

Allow me to share something with you.

Spoiler: a rite of passage

Spoiler: I'm ready

Lucas can't control his bladder.
Crows about his baby batter,
but he has no jizz to splatter.
Impotent, pants pissing satyr.
Has no bae, but if he had her
there would be the sorry matter:
Just too little dick to stab her.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

New video "Castigate your chains".

Lucas, what do you think "Castigate" means?

 

[WonderWino]

I used to work with a fat girl who followed this same line of logic. Supposedly the capitalist bourgeoisie don't want us focusing on how our food makes us feel or something, because then people would want more and revolt or something, so they make us waste our time focusing on eating polite to distract us, or something.

She had issues.

So.... her truly socialist plan was to eat all the food so everyone would have no other choice than to eat the rich?