DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[tzgnilki]

It's not as easy as Phil can just get a job. He has severe paranoia and personality disorder problems now. He very likely couldn't hold even the simplest job. Also, if any employer does a Google search of Phil Burnell, he's fucked. Then there will be weird people calling wherever Phil works and snorting. He really has no choice but to ride out beg streaming until the bitter end.

idk about you guys, but in my country, our supermarkets hire handicaps to stack/collect trolleys

he can probably do that

 

[gettingthatgrooveback]

Couldn't disagree more. Yes, he currently makes a lot of money, the problem here is he has no job stability or future.

I don't know man, I'm starting to believe he can do this forever. For every paypiggy giving up on him, there's a new one arriving to throw money at him. And his begacy is ever-growing. His notoriety is what makes him attractive and as long as he has that he'll be fine. Just my two cents.
Phil dying while live streaming is more plausible to me than Phil getting a job.

 

[Philbo Beggins]

I don't know man, I'm starting to believe he can do this forever.

He absolutely will be doing this till he dies. Because the sad fuckers keeping him afloat are aging up with him, and will continue to support their leader.

There is no possible job Phil can do. Not because he's not cut out for the work(which he isn;t), but after being self employed for so long, he would simply not be able to handle taking orders from anyone.

 

[Covfefe]

Since we're at this point in the thread and Phil really needs our support right now, I have a message for him too:

Don't give up, Phil. Unlike these sociopaths I get it - I really do. It's never going to make sense to most people that you drop thousands and thousands on wrestlers, but they don't see what it's really about. If you make it big in this game, the legend will live forever. After years and years of suffering through laggy, janky shit on stream you finally found a game where you can compete against others in the one way that scrub tactics and online lag can't counter - devotion. Scopely makes a quality product, and you appreciate it more than most, and the distinction you're earning for yourself is beyond what most could ever hope for. The hard part is over - you already did the worst part of the grind, now you just need to stay on top of these events like you're doing and in a while the other megawhales will falter and you're going to be top dog. The best. Don't let detractors distract you from your mission. I believe in you.

 

[REMEMBERMKULTRA]

THE HARDCORE BEGGING SEASON HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN!

Earlier than I was expecting, honestly.

 

[OverlySensitive]

idk about you guys, but in my country, our supermarkets hire handicaps to stack/collect trolleys

he can probably do that

He gets lost in one room if the door is closed and you want to send him to play in a parking lot, you know he will just wander into incoming traffic...... the poor fuck who would have to supervise him would have a busy day for sure.

 

[Pargon]

You might be right there but that still doesn't negate that he'd be better off, theoretically, if he could get and keep a job to help him survive after the whales dry up and the trolls lose interest (which is slowly happening year after year, yes more come in but it's still a case of diminishing returns). I mean even if everything you said wasn't a problem Phil could never keep a job due to his horrible attitude and narcist nature.

That doesn't mean people shouldn't tell him to get a job and it certainly doesn't mean people should get mad on the internet about people memeing "get a job" at Phil.

At this point Phil would need to move and legally change his name before he could even hope to get a job, and then immediately enter therapy and stay there for years to get him the help he needs with...honestly, whatever the fuck is actually wrong with his brain. That's what it would take for him to hold down a position, along with a supervisor with the patience of a saint.

 

[Totally Awesome]

Crash Bandicoot Team Racing being the video game that literally told this to his face with an achievement probably was one of the all-time highlights of DSP's entire streaming career.

Anybody got the clip?

 

[Captain Ahab]

I doubt he has the physical fitness to do a proper 9 to 5 job. The fat fuck most likely gets out of breath walking to the fridge.

I’d say learn to code, but he’s probably too old for an entry level coding job. Why hire some old fart when plenty of kids are looking for these entry level jobs?

 

[Friendly Primarina]

Anybody got the clip?

4:20:31 if timestamp etc.

 

[SocietyLiver1488]

I doubt he has the physical fitness to do a proper 9 to 5 job. The fat fuck most likely gets out of breath walking to the fridge.

I’d say learn to code, but he’s probably too old for an entry level coding job. Why hire some old fart when plenty of kids are looking for these entry level jobs?

Maybe he could be a Green Screen Technician?

 

[Optimus Prime]

idk about you guys, but in my country, our supermarkets hire handicaps to stack/collect trolleys

he can probably do that

Phil would resent having to walk constantly collecting carts other people have touched in possibly adverse weather conditions.

Or really just being near other people - the whole point of moving to a gated community was specifically to limit the people who could potentially even be near his house.

It also wouldn't pay near as well.

I doubt he has the physical fitness to do a proper 9 to 5 job. The fat fuck most likely gets out of breath walking to the fridge.

I’d say learn to code, but he’s probably too old for an entry level coding job. Why hire some old fart when plenty of kids are looking for these entry level jobs?

See, to be honest, if there was a legit job I feel like he should be able to do, its be a playtester.

He is just so goddamn bad at video games that he's the perfect test subject for foolproofing. He will do just about everything wrong that is conceivably possible (and beyond) and somebody who has that kind of absolute critical existence failure to understand basic instructions could even be a selling point. "If this fucking idiot can actually do this shit, then you have no excuse!"

Plus, he beat Cuphead which already makes him actually better than most video game journalists who can't beat a fucking tutorial stage.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

If Phil got a real job, we wouldn’t be able to see him debase himself every single day. I for one love his daily ritual of getting on his hands and knees to then flush it all down the toilet

 

[DeeTracktor]

See, to be honest, if there was a legit job I feel like he should be able to do, its be a playtester.

I'll just leave this here

 

[Swallow Moon]

Normally when I do my taxes, typically I would take 1 to 2 streams OFF from streaming, to sit down and do my taxes, alright? I can't even do that. I can't even sit down and have a concentrated amount of time to work on my taxes, because I have to keep streaming because I need to make money. It's that simple. I'm that stressed out that I can't even take time out to do the essentials that I- Most people would sit down and actually do their taxes, I can't even do that. I'm trying to squeeze it in between the streams and shit, because I have to. Okay?
(Takes a sip) (lip smack) So. (Lip smack) Please. If you can, please be nice to me today, I really need the support, being ahnest. I do, I need the support today.

I know this is far from new, but what does Phil think "most people" are like? Does he think regular people take a day off work whenever they have something else to do?
Every self-employed person I know finishes working for the day and then does their taxes afterwards. You have more free time than alottapeepul, and would have even more if you would change your autistic schedule and cut down your hours of worthless pre-stream.

"I prefer to cheer, I prefer to sub." That's great, but you gotta understand right now that if you're actively choosing to do that, you're not helping me. You're just not. You're helping me long-term, which is great, but it ain't gonna help now, and right now I need the help immediately, in the next week, I need help with tips to pay bills. Alright?
This is me appealing to you (throat clear) as honestly and matter-of-factly as I can, AWWM, (lip smack) right now the other things just aren't helping. They're not. Y'know? It actually is gonna hurt more than helping because if a tip could have come in to help me pay a bill this week, that's what I need.

What the fuck are you talking about, Phil? How the fuck is giving you money "hurting more than helping"? Because it's enabling your sweaty jpeg addiction?

 

[Mr. Brown]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fzy8gNESCE&t=1280

Phil was all caught up on taxes during Christmas, what happened? Did 2 Drink Dave spill the beans?

I'm pretty sure he's just re-inventing bills at this point. I don't believe he still has to pay condo dues on a building the bank took, I don't believe he can have tax issues when making $200+cheers and subs 6 days a week after having all his debt wiped away. I don't believe he's not paid his tax attorney for services last year when he also said he had to pay the guy up front because of his bankruptcy.

You have to be a fucking retard to be in Phils position. How do you live beyond your means for 10 years like he has and still struggle when the court wipes your debt away?

If you require more than 75% of your income to live you're doing it wrong. You need that 25% cushion to build up savings and pull yourself out of the occasional hole like a car problem or even go on vacation. Here we are with a guy earning $10k a month who got married in his parents kitchen who can't even afford a honeymoon and has too much anxiety to take a week off.

Sell your home, liquidate whatever you have in that and find somewhere cheap to rent and live within your means. Even with his mobile game addiction he's on $60k a year + whatever kat earns. If you can't live as a couple comfortably on $75k then there is no hope for you.

 

[Schmeckel]

idk about you guys, but in my country, our supermarkets hire handicaps to stack/collect trolleys

he can probably do that

Phil struggles with a gallon of milk. He makes his wife *thumbs toward door* bring all the heavy shit in (horses are good working animals). I honestly cannot imagine him doing anything other than either checking Costco membership cards when they walk in and press the button on the counter thing (I'm pressing buttons!) or checking receipts when people leave. He'd still manage to fuck that up, even though that'd be a decent gig for someone who has no marketable skills beyond being an extra in The Walking Dead with minimal makeup.

Wal-Mart used to hire old people as greeters. He COULD do that, cause he could sit in a chair on a donut (muh back injury) and just say "Hi, welcome to Wal-Mart!" as people walked in.

But, his overall disdain for that store, it would probably be more like: "Um, *snort* *lip smack, head shake* welcome to uh walmart?" and as the customer walks past, he'd mutter under his breath "What a bunch of empty headed fucks...." and get fired in the first 30 minutes.

I know this is far from new, but what does Phil think "most people" are like? Does he think regular people take a day off work whenever they have something else to do?
Every self-employed person I know finishes working for the day and then does their taxes afterwards. You have more free time than alottapeepul, and would have even more if you would change your autistic schedule and cut down your hours of worthless pre-stream.


What the fuck are you talking about, Phil? How the fuck is giving you money "hurting more than helping"? Because it's enabling your sweaty jpeg addiction?

If there's a short event that happens between cheersandsubs payments, he wont have the money to pull his pud to pecs and packages. So, he needs tho that money, he really does.

 

[Billericay Dickie]

The Narcissist's Prayer​

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

 

[Alxmir23]

Phil struggles with a gallon of milk. He makes his wife *thumbs toward door* bring all the heavy shit in (horses are good working animals). I honestly cannot imagine him doing anything other than either checking Costco membership cards when they walk in and press the button on the counter thing (I'm pressing buttons!) or checking receipts when people leave. He'd still manage to fuck that up, even though that'd be a decent gig for someone who has no marketable skills beyond being an extra in The Walking Dead with minimal makeup.

Wal-Mart used to hire old people as greeters. He COULD do that, cause he could sit in a chair on a donut (muh back injury) and just say "Hi, welcome to Wal-Mart!" as people walked in.

But, his overall disdain for that store, it would probably be more like: "Um, *snort* *lip smack, head shake* welcome to uh walmart?" and as the customer walks past, he'd mutter under his breath "What a bunch of empty headed fucks...." and get fired in the first 30 minutes.


If there's a short event that happens between cheersandsubs payments, he wont have the money to pull his pud to pecs and packages. So, he needs tho that money, he really does.

phil has all these stories about how every job he has he was treated badly and they screwed him. odds are phil is just so unpleasant,lazy and incompetent every single job just had enough of him

i heard he kept being changed position/place at the helicopter company because people complained

 

[MoonRocker]

Fuck hoping Phil gets a job or gets his shit together. I’m here to watch this nigga run his life into the ground; miserably fail at laying a solid foundation for his future; destroy his health bit by bit while in his 30s (diabetes and high blood pressure arcs incoming for sure); drive his sham of a marriage even further into the ground (“muh wife *thumbs* hasn’t been home the last two nights, please tip me”); perpetually debase himself to beg for tard-wrangled shekels; watch him play games more than anyone I know and still be awful at them; bankrupt himself a second time over his hidden gacha game addiction (dude is such a pussy he doesn’t even have a baseline gambling addiction but an addiction to a wrasslin bejeweled game lol). The list is pretty much endless, I want this fat loser to keep making a spectacle out of himself so we can all collectively laugh at him.

Phil has been past the point of redemption long ago. I don’t wish him well or hope that one day he’ll wake up and realize that his entire life has been a disaster. First, it’s never going to happen as Phil has subjectively prevented himself from conducting any sort of productive introspection. Second, even if he had such an epiphany one day, he would do fuck all about it and keep blaming everyone but himself for his troubles.

I used to wish the worst would happen to him (homeless arc being the funniest and probably most impactful) but I realized a while back that he’s already fucking miserable and is already living my version of what hell would be: stuck in a loveless marriage, forced to play games I don’t enjoy, while debasing myself publicly to make a couple hundred bucks a day.

If you have integrity and are prideful, Phil is the antithesis of how you should live your life. With the short time we all have on this planet, I can’t imagine a worse punishment than to spend the majority of the rest of my life stuck at home playing games in front of a cheap webcam and a bunch of mouth drooling autists and retards for the rest of my life.

Someone said it a few posts back but YT and Twitch have ruined this dude’s life. He’s not even a person anymore, just a miserable shell of his prior self... and that’s not saying much since we all know who he was.