Anytime I see a correlation made between phil and a saga I always think to myself; Romance of the Three Kingdoms, The Lord of the Rings, Buddenbrooks, Star Wars or House of Earth. These all have the makings of a saga. I tend to believe (or hope) that people are using it here somewhat ironically, Phil. However the implication of a saga stems from your own daily narrative contortions, for in the absence of anything remotely interesting going on in your life you seem to experience any level of alteration to your schedule as a seismic shift that calls for vitriol, crahcadile tears and most crucially of all - another round of DarkSymp(athy)Phil Donations.
I imagine it's one of the main reasons you're living the way you are these days. It's almost innocent and childlike that you don't seem to ever anticipate any bumps in the road. If you did then maybe you would have started putting some money by for a rainy day; maybe you'd know what a rainy day fund actually referred to instead of zoning out and rubbing your dinger with your WWF trading card collection back in St Sexnegative's Only Child School.
You just want to play with your yoyo, your bubbles and this week's shiny new vidya so that's wut yer gonna do. New is the unknown and it's scary so there'll be no learning to swim or trying to ride a bike or having that interloper basic bill interfere. You guise need to step up and stahp him fucking with my routine and social interaction wife time where the zulu men chant food-gacha-food-gacha-gin.
You're right phil you don't really have any sagas in the true sense of the word, we just wish you did because you're really fucking boring and the only way many can continue to get anything out of you (myself included) is due to the sacrifice made by the detractor news network here and on twitter. Those heroes of ours who brave your godawful streams to bring back the few tasty morsels of the day where you continue to prove that your fear of change rules over your entire life and ensures each new "saga" will be even more ridiculous than the last. I don't even have to ask you to stay salty dood I know you will., death and tahxic taxes.