0:00 ‘Hey guise!!’ *POW GOODBYE SPEAKERS* still. You need to change that shit, AL. Or at least use some fucking volume control when you ‘edit’ your crap-pile videos.
0:13 She’s strugglin’ for words here. Yes, it’s a weightless update. Yes, she’s wearing those retarded glasses that feature what I can only assume are thin plastic lenses with the most mild of prescriptions if anything at all. And dumb as fuck pom-poms on her ears. Those are all I can see now.
0:24 Apologizes for the ring-light reflecting on her shit glasses. In song. My ears bleed. My new bottle of vodka is open, it is tasty, and tonight will be spent in hazy happiness after this shit. She promises to figure out how to make a damned ring light work with her fake as fuck glasses.
0:30 She feels this isn’t a ‘look at me’ video - it’s a ‘listen to me.’
0:45 She fears the backlash. She hates society because it judges you for gaining weight. She says that being part of the body positive movement or something is a whole ‘nuther video.
1:24 She professes she’s not into the Healthy at Every Size or whatever. Sure, AL. I remember you saying you’re HeAlThY jUsT bIg.
1:58 Ramblerambleramble The reason she hasn’t done this video is she’s afraid of the backlash and wants her channel to be more about her and less about her body and her weight.
2:22
Shaddup.
2:33 She’s fucking rambling about her having mental disorders and eating disorders and whatever. She wants to understand why she’s a train wreck.
3:00 She acknowledges that her weight, her indecisiveness and The Cycle (FUCKING CREDIT KIWIFARMS, YOU CUNTWAFFLE) are the main allure of her channel. Not that she’s a giant cuntwaffle, and THAT is why she’s a train wreck that we love to watch burn.
3:07 Sorry, I’m just going to type cuntwaffle again because it’s fun and my fingers are tingly.
3:08 She says all those things that make her a train wreck is mental illness. No, It’s because you’re a cunt. She insists it’s all whaaaaambulance-worthy bullshit.
3:30 Yes, we’re disgusting assholes. She’s afraid to share because we shame her for her mental illness.
4:08 We get high off her gaining weight lolz NOPE. We enjoy you being a cunty idiot. If I wanted to watch fat chicks, I’d watch some of the other nice fat ladies who aren’t dingy cuntwaffles.
4:52 Has a picture-in-picture photo of her scale (holy hell, she figured it out!) that reads 536.4. No image of her on it without support, though, so she’s still a goodly bit below LifeByJen for honesty (yes, I just swallowed regurgitated vodka at that, because I am painfully aware of how those two don’t go together). But still, hear me out - at least fat-fuck Jen with GinGin the dingus girlfriend-in-a-wrecked-car-ditching assclown video’d herself getting onto her talking scale with no support around her. AL can’t give us that. I wonder if she’s got a towel-bar holding up her fupa a la Homer Simpson.
4:53 ‘As you can see, I’ve put on weight’ LOL Ms. ‘I’m never going to be in the 500s again’ no shit. Claims she’s now only down 30-something pounds when she was originally down over 90, and now she feels it all over her body and she feels disgustingly miserable.
5:22 Wah wah wah she feels horrible le sob lolol
5:42 ‘I literally hate myself right now’ PFT bullshit, NarcLynn.
5:58 ‘I can blame it on a million different things’ OH FUCK SHE’S BRINGING THE ‘I can’t have a kid’ THING AGAIN. Dude. You dumb bitch. You’re a lesbian. You wouldn’t have a child anyway if you bang Becky to the moon and back. Kinda need a dick or a donation from a sperm bank (which you can’t afford) for el kiddo, dips hit.
6:34 And now she’s blaming estrogen. You know, the estrogen she takes to REPLACE THE ESTROGEN HER BODY NO LONGER PRODUCES, to keep her from going into early and instant menopause. This is not enough estrogen to make her gain weight. This is not contributing to her weight gain. This is REPLACEMENT, not SUPPLEMENT. I wish I could punch her face in without risking the loss of my knuckles in a land of fat. Or passing out from the stench of fat-body drowned in cheap tweenager perfume and candle fumes.
6:40 Says she can blame all sorts of shit but ultimately the only person she can blame is herself. Except she does nothing but blame external forces and what not.
6:45 Sorry I’m rambling. Tipsy as hell.
7:14 Oh, we’re supposed to be proud of her because she didn’t order take out today. She confesses to ordering takeout for every single meal with the exception of her Jenny Craig week for the last year.
7:46 Blathers that yes, you can eat out and lose weight, but she orders multiples or the most fatty thing on the menu and she merrily gorges on shit.
8:06 POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. Pardon me. Video paused. Need to mix a few shots into my large glass of Diet Coke. The aspartame will aid in my happiness.
Okay, back. And holy shit is it hitting hard so excuse typos
8:07 Admits to being weak and she’s a dipshit who has no self control. She deleted Uber Eats off her phone.
8:43 Goes on and on about how she has to work to download apps to order her shit now
9:02 BACK TO COUNTING CALORIES. HAS A NEW MYFITNESSPAL ACCOUNT.
9:17 HELLOHONEYDEW
Sorry gotta look carefully and make sure I typed that right. Because that’s her new myfitnesspal account. Yup. No typos.
9:30 Yeh, calories/portion control and shit. The standard shit everyone says to do.
9”47 Going to post more videos on this topic even though she hates doing it. She needs the money, gorls, so she’s caving. She even acknowledges that when she stops uploading weight videos her engagement goes way down
10:28 waaaaah I’ve let myself down I was so amazing and now I feel horrible sob sob *dry tears* ramble ramble ramble
10:57 Hopes we liked her sad update