Ted Cruz is an openly evil human being and he's also politically indestructible and those facts together are so depressing.
I also don't know why we need to be polite about Rush Limbaugh. Why is it not OK to call people who dedicated their lives to increasing the suffering of others bad, just because they died? We all die, it's one of the few universal experiences. The damage you do remains.
Remember when Trump told people to overthrow the government and the mob killed a police officer? Remember how many of the attackers were police or armed forces? Remember how Republican politicians helped the riot and told them where to go? I dunno about being polite these days.
Anyway, remember when Trump lied about Covid after admitting he knew it was serious? And then told his followers to kill people, and they did? Remember he went on TV and asked Russia for help and the Russians helped him? They just do this stuff and admit it and get away with it.
Trump finally did the thing he fantasized about: He caused the death of someone in the streets for no reason and got away with it. He said he could do it, and he did it. And we're asked to be respectful. Why?
I'm just tired of being told not to say the simple things about the very basic evil people are doing daily. I'm so sick of pretending there are two sides to every issue, when there just isn't. Sometimes it really is simple. Sometimes people who act evil are just evil.
I'm so scared to say it, but I feel like I have to be honest. Penny Arcade was the only company I've ever worked for that killed stories to protect their business. Seeing folks working for them question the integrity of the gaming press in public makes me literally ill.
I am ashamed I allowed myself to be bullied like that instead of resigning, but when it all ended my now ex-wife was pregnant and I was left hanging. They like to take cheap shots at people who actually do the hard work of telling the truth, and I can't tolerate it anymore.
I don't know what's going to happen after saying that, but I feel a lot better having made it public. The Penny Arcade Report was the only outlet where my bosses told me I couldn't report on certain things because it would hurt their ability to make money.
I'm shaking and freaked out having tweeted this, I'm still scared of the power of those folks, but just remember they spent years putting profit over reporting and the truth, and it cost me my job. I am deeply, deeply ashamed that I've been quiet for this long. I'm so sorry.
If saying these things costs me my career, then my career wasn't worth having. I've tried really hard for a long time to be honest with y'all, and I've failed in this way spectacularly. But I needed to say this. Whatever happens next is out of my control, but you needed to know.
It bothers me that people will support the suppression of reporting in the interest of profits, while PA claims they are the source of truth because they don't care about profits. I was told flat out that some topics I had to stay away from, because that's where they made money.
This has been a weight on my soul for so long, you have no idea. I'm crying right now tweeting these things, but it feels good to put the weight down. Whatever happens next is out of my hands, but I needed to say this. If you feel betrayed by me right now, I understand completely
The past two years or so have taken away a lot of my self-confidence, to the point where it's harder and harder to write the things I know I need to write. And I'm trying to get back to the place where I speak truth to power. I can't get there without coming clean.
Watching the principle voices of Penny Arcade say during panels they didn't care about profits after having been told I had to protect their business over writing what I knew was right was horrific. I can't describe it. And I went along! I betrayed your trust and I'm sorry.
It has been so hard in the years since the Penny Arcade Report to see Penny Arcade make money from making fun of people who aren't for sale, especially since they told me explicitly not to say certain things so they could get paid. You deserve to know.
Penny Arcade was the first company to shame me for spending time with my family instead of writing more, and it's the only company I've written for who censored stories for profit. They did this while using me for PR about why they were different. They are not the good guys.
But, again, neither was I. I should have quit. I was tempted to. I almost did. But I didn't. And that's 100 percent on me. After Ars Technica had a spine of steel when it came to factual stories I wrote, watching Penny Arcade fold under PR pressure was shocking.
Penny Arcade wishes it had the integrity of the outlets they talk shit about. I'm tired of hearing it and being silent. When I was there, they were for sale, and I was told this directly, and directed to avoid certain stories.
I've been through ... a lot in the past few years. But what I've learned is you can lose your life and build a new one. I don't care what this costs me, I need a new slate, and your trust. If I'm ever, EVER told to act that way again, I'm resigning. If you don't believe me?
Well then I understand completely. I really do. Stop reading me. Read folks you trust and love. Support the good stuff. But I swear to you this has been eating away at me every day since it happened. I'm fine doing something else if this puts me right and honest in your eyes.
If this hurts my ability to find writing work later because companies are scared I'll repeat their bullshit years after I was fired, I can always try to find a welding apprenticeship or something. I just want to do honest work, and now it's going to be easier to do so.
And I don't want to hear how this was one person, or someone didn't know. During one company vacation I was berated in public for not being more supportive during Dickwolves. I was asked directly by a founder to keep certain things quiet. None of this is a secret.
There was one E3 where I was cornered by the person selling ads and there was a "joke" about how I had to get the numbers up to support the buys. Yeah, it felt really funny. I "laughed." I've never been through anything like that anywhere else. I was honestly scared.
I've seen so many gaming outlets stand up for their writers and editors and fight back against publisher pressure, it's inspiring. So when Penny Arcade makes fun of those same outlets while refusing to stand up for their own people in private? I've been so angry for so long.
I honestly don't know what happens next, but I know tonight I'll sleep better, and tomorrow I'm ready.
Anyway, the severance pay was six months, there was no NDA, the decision to stay silent until now is my own cowardice. But I just couldn't anymore. I'm truly sorry.
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