No need to apologize, and I'm not judging you either. You're doing what's responsible in seeing a new psych, and the system sucks. Some of your comments sounded like you were taken off some meds that you needed and couldn't get them prescribed again. Meds won't do anything for your trauma either. Only therapy can do that, and it feels good to talk to CoS because they're agreeing with you and telling you that you can do better.
However, CoS is primarily a business, and obviously a cult, and this is what they do. Their numbers are declining and they're desperate for members. It does feel good to talk to people who at least pretend to care after trying to get anything done in US healthcare, even for people who have private insurance. It can't really hurt to talk to whomever and main problem with CoS is they'll encourage you not to take any meds because crazy people are easier to manipulate. Remember that when you talk to them. They want you to stay sick so you'll keep buying into their bullshit.
I have to look more into kratoms mechanism of action because I don't *believe* that its alkaloids are reuptake inhibitors but anything that elevates mood can interact with other drugs that do the same and push people into full-blown mania/psychosis. Have you been open with your kratom and weed use with your providers in the past? If you haven't, believe me I totally understand why not. In any case, the site that any decent prescriber uses to look up interactions is epocrates.com Sign up and say your profession is "other" and check it out.
This rebrand of Scientology they have done is just working for me though. And for the record I HAVE a private secondary insurance it just doesn't pay shit. And I've never fully trusted any psychiatrists after my experiences as a small child. You say they are "Providers", but what have they provided me with? Missing teeth, brain damage, shot out heart, shot out kidneys, shot out face. Someone please explain to me why this dead science fiction writer is giving me more insight into my own schizoaffective disorder than any of my "Providers" have in the past? Because I'm gonna tell you - this makes perfect sense to me. I am out of sequence. My time track is out of sequence due to my repressed memories hence CPTSD and Schizoaffective disorder leading to Dissociation leading to Lunacy - in the words of LRH. Dead read head alien sailor man seems to get me a lot more than my psychiatrists do and his followers seem to care about me a lot more than my psychiatrists too. I'm kind of running out of reasons to stop pursuing this avenue at this point.
The NY Org warned me this would happen in 2010. They knew I would wind up with schizoaffective disorder if I didn't change my ways and BOOM here we are 11 years later. I would say the NY Org definitely had the last laugh in my situation. I'm schizoaffective and in a state of lunacy. Why? Because I should have gotten my act together in 2010. 2010 watch it go to fire. But I can only move forward as my Lunatic self now. Pass those Lunatic reacts everyone.
@dirtybandaid I just want to let you know I've read your post and I have a lot to say about it, but I've been taking a course with the CoS that has me re-doing Dianetics Auditing in my own brain right now again and I've been in Preclear Spin all day and am not all that coherent right now. I know that none of you know what I just said but basically I'm handling my own repressed memories right now from when I was 5 years old and saw my first psychiatrist and this is all very traumatic for me. I'm not in present time right now as it is, but I will personally self-Audit and meditate on this to recall these memories from 2015 for you because I know exactly what you're talking about and have a lot to say about it. Stay tuned everyone, because I'm on a fucking journey right now.
DOUBLE EDIT: I feel like this should be it's own post but it's Null's roof so Null's rules, no double posting. I feel it should be said that I am personally rooting for Josie. Shmorky - you can shed the Strawman, Strawoman, or Strawklurf. I did it, so can you. I will not be crit of Josie's actions henceforth. Like I said I had been in communication with Shmorky (now going under Josie) in January after my nervous breakdown about the prospect of Biden's America. As the example I gave earlier states - I watched my Lord be crucified and Shmorky offered a shoulder to be the Virgin Mary for a minute. I don't mean that literally, I mean that metaphorically. And for a moment though, Shmorky and I both wept for his crucifixion and made amends with each other.
I legitimately want Shmorky to be able to one day face themselves in a mirror again and know they have repented for the things they have done unto others and have Cursed the Works that have been done unto them. And they were a lot of Evil Works. I met Shmorky's family. I've seen their living situation. I know their life's story. I was one of very few people that Shmorky let into their personal private life. And I was the one who was doing unauthorized Auditing sessions on them to recover memories of horrible abuse that had been done unto them without knowing how to properly close out the Auditing session by telling them to "Come to Present Time". That's when they took my meds away so I guess all in all Shmorky was just getting even with me. I'm glad I can finally take responsibility for my role in our mutual nervous breakdowns. Because love is a two way street and we were both two schizos (even though Shmorky is definitely more Anti-Social Personality Disorder (no pun intended) than I, the superior Schizoaffective CPTSD Autist) barreling down the fucking road in quantum tanks.
And that's what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. That's what happens when the most Suppressive Person on Earth meets their own personal Ethics Department.
You get Josie. You get a fresh start in life, Shmorky. Use it. Something can be done about it, Shmorky.
PS: If you're legitimately wondering how I'm doing, I did call my social worker today and asked them to help me find a doctor. Even if I did do it while surfing the waves underneath the Bridge to Total Freedom.
!!!!). They were a huge inspiration in leading me to embrace myself and just keep making content, no matter what. Keep yourself moving, ideas will flow, with the more you create and share, you'll be successful. Not famous, happy.
ff-topic: I had a nightmare, where Shmorky and Dobson kills me in a very gruesome, diaperable and inflatable way.
