However, she’s always had an obsession with smoothies being the epitome of health. I don’t know, maybe she finds them aesthetically pleasing or wants to look like an Instahoe. Maybe she read about them in a magazine once and can’t let go of the idea. Maybe she just likes fruit. Whichever it is, smoothies have to play an integral role in her new lifestyle, even though it will overcomplicate her diet and possibly lead to health issues in the long run.
She has very peculiar fixations when it's time to go through the motions of pretending to eat healthily.
In addition to the smoothies, which must be kale and spinach (she is on record many times as stating she hates kale, and I've never seen her act happy about spinach), her first meal of the new regimen always has to be oatmeal. Indeed, that's where she started yesterday. Usually she'll degrade the oatmeal with a mess of berries, chia seeds (personal note: I have been on this planet a very long time and have never even heard of chia seeds until now), syrup, and other gunk.
It's also February, the month when you are least likely to find a ripe mango in northern Ontario, so she is likely to buy her annual crate of them.
There is something so childlike (or childish) about her view of "healthy food" that never changes, I can't help wondering if when she was sick as a toddler (a real toddler, not the mutant one she has become) mom or grandma used to fix her oatmeal and spinach smoothies.
The smoothies may also appeal to her because influencers-on-the-go are always drinking smoothies. But her stubborn insistence that they must be made from detested kale seems ingrained.
Let's not forget that kale represents everything that enrages her about skinny people. It burns her fat ass that skinny people never enjoy food and only eat kale all day. She once got really righteously pissed off at skinny/good looking people in general, and proclaimed that people who live in "California, Hollywood" eat only Pinkberry's yogurt with kale sprinkled on top (I guess she has never heard of In-N-Out Burger, Tommy's, or Pink's Hot Dogs, to name some California, Hollywood landmarks)
This is what is mind boggling. Nothing spells failure for her like something that smacks of "punishment", and yet she punishes herself with the most awful, inedible food she can find when it's one of these "do-or-die" diet scenarios. Invariably, within a day or two, she chooses "die" over "do", and each time the Grim Reaper shuffles a little closer. She has been given meal plans many times, but she only scoffs at them. It is tempting to say she sets herself up for failure, but I don't think it is as simple as that. I think she really thinks grandma's oatmeal and smoothies are the only way to health, and if she has to go that route, at least she can pretend to be a juicin' influencer thot.
So what will be different this time? Absolutely nothing. We started with the traditional oatmeal, and we will next move on to inedible smoothies. Then will come the "healthy option" from Wendy's, and it will be back to square one again with time seriously running out for her. This time pressure is new; she used to have all the time in the world to fuck around, but this time she doesn't and never will again.
Unless she gets past the mindset that healthy, normal people are not a bunch of assholes with a kale fetish, the very concept of eating healthy will continue to escape her. It has to be done her way; she was adamant about that yesterday, as she always is.
Imagine having Clotso in charge of your nutrition and meals. Could there be a worse person in charge? That's who she is relying on.
