The /pol/ Theory of Beta Male Facial Expressions

I think what's so disturbing about it is the wide open mouth and the wide, slack eyes. It isn't a genuine smile, where the corners of the mouth crease a bit and the eyes are half-lidded.

This gaping-mouth nu-male expression says one thing and one thing only: "I know what I'm doing is engaging in hedonistic excess at this moment, but I hope you don't judge me for it."

It's an expression of guilt, not pleasure.
 
Does anyone remember the infamous Blobby and Friends comics....
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This guy is the creator of those comics
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None of these are the classic, but every single one is 101% soy.
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That's scary, exact same energy as this infamous comic. I wonder how many of these "super anti racism sexism" comics follow the same formula
Someone post the picture where you see both the cosplayer and the bear comic artist in the same pic, itis glorious.
 
Given that this is /pol/ they should all just take selfies of themselves and post them, and that would cover 99.99% of the "beta male fascial expressions".

Not to mention that this atomistic style of thinking is the same problem that idiots like Russell Greer suffer from - that a 3-second facial expression alone will instantly get them laid, when they really need a total personality makeover, and maybe even a lobotomy.
 
Given that this is /pol/ they should all just take selfies of themselves and post them, and that would cover 99.99% of the "beta male fascial expressions".

Not to mention that this atomistic style of thinking is the same problem that idiots like Russell Greer suffer from - that a 3-second facial expression alone will instantly get them laid, when they really need a total personality makeover, and maybe even a lobotomy.

Show us your uvula.
 
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What people think this expression means:

“Gee, I sure am excited to consume product! Aren’t you as excited as I am? How could you not be excited? It has a box with a representation of what is inside the box printed on the outside of the box! Quickly! Let’s get unboxing!”

What this expression actually means:

“I see you’ve caught me in the act of consooming. Yes, I’ve read Marx. No, I don’t care that this Funko Pop came from a sweatshop in Vietnam. I am so dead inside, I need this. I need this act of consumption to be exciting, because I have been denied access to real goals and real fulfillment in my life. I would give you a dead soul stare straight into the camera, but that would be too depressing, so I’m going to feign childlike wonder instead. I haven’t felt anything from an unboxing in years. I’m like a burnt-out addict. My dopamine receptors are fucked. I’m always chasing a bigger high. Maybe a $4000 TV will do it this time.”
 
So I was at work the other day and I saw a pair of Christmas Pajamas that made me realize the Origin of the "excited Soy face." that we see on twitter. You know the fake ass "ZOMG I AM SO HAPPPY" Face. Do you Remember the face Will Farrel makes in Elf? Where he is playing an Grown man who gets Overly Excited over everything? Like when he screamed "SANTA OH MY GOD"

That movie is approaching 20 years old, (Jesus Christ this thing is older than I thought.) and now you have a crop of people who grew up with this movie as part of their cultural zeitgeist, posting images of themselves making very similar faces in their profiles to show "excitement" over something on their social medias.



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Tell me those bottoms aren't Excited Bug-man incarnate.

PS : These PJs are MSRP'd at 40 fucking dollars. FUCKING CONSUME FAGGOTS.
 
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