Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[Spez]

the fuckers who buy custom keycaps that they make only like 1 of, for prices of upwards to 200$ piss me off

 

[Creep3r]

Listen, you can post whatever you want in this thread, but I sincerely doubt that there'll be anything worse than the parents that named their kid Dovahkiin for free Bethesda shit.

View attachment 1949284

How about parents who name their daughter "Captain-Phasma" because The Force Awakens was their "life" and for wanting to own the "haters"?

https://www.thedad.com/captain-phasma/

'Family thinks I'm an a**hole for wanting to give baby Star Wars character name'

A father-to-be has revealed he and his wife want to name their unborn daughter after a character from Star Wars but their family aren't impressed by their decision

www.mirror.co.uk

Imagine naming her "Captain" and thinking its cute.

 

[make_it_so]

I suspect that these things are going to end up like beanie babies after the 90s. A bunch of tards wasted a ton of money trying to collect them only to realize later that they were completely worthless.

I've never really understood the appeal of FunkoPops - even if it's of a character you like, they're all done the same oversimplified style, they're all solid and basically inert, and all look exactly the fucking same. I mean, with action figures you can at least put them into cool looking poses or scenes, they might come with some neat accessories, and there's a high chance that they actually look like the character they're supposed to represent.

 

[Demonslayer1776]

Pokemon is fucking insane with just how much stuff they put out every year. It's marketing itself as a lifestyle at this point with all the non-VG/TCG products they put out. On one hand, as someone who somewhat cares about Pokemon stuff, it's cool to be able to get replica merch from a higher class Chinese factory. On the other, I'd be shocked and appalled to see if all of this shit is actually making a significant profit. At least Li-Wen gets to feed his family for a another day.

Spoiler: Misc Pokemerch

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Pokemon makes more money off of their merchandise than the actual games. I'm sure that plenty of this shit is duds, but with the amount of shit they put out it must be working. Shit like jewelry is probably fairly limited and makes money off of the peak consoomers. I doubt they'd make it unless some of it was selling at least, unless they thought it had a marketing benefit or something.

 

[make_it_so]

The gun nut crowd is a perfect example.

Granted, own as many guns as you want, I don't care. No skin off my ass. But there comes a point when too many guns will just weigh you down and make you a target for looters or Feds.

And I'd be lying if I said I've never been tempted by/succumbed to the siren's song of tacticool junk.

In fairness, with the firearms hobby there at least tends to be a level of niche-ness with the people that buy a lot of guns. Like say, they want to collect WWII guns, or collect Colt revolvers, or collect every variation of the Mauser 98 or 1911, etc. Heck, I'm a sucker for Mr. Kalashnikov's famous design and have been wanting to get a semi-auto version of every variation produced by each country - not that I imagine I'd ever be successful.

 

[Scolopendra Dramatica]

This and the invention of shittier and shitter keyboards for the sake of aesthetics and "minimalism". Please, tell us again how this

View attachment 1950246

With all of the hotkey function buttons ripped off of it, as well as many basic function keys, is as useful as this

View attachment 1950233

They're absolutely obsessed with a form factor that lacks something as simple as the print screen button. I've even seen ones that lack the number row. Half the posts on r/mechanicalkeyboards are shit like that. It gets even dumber when you see a lot of these people have like 50 of these things. How is that being minimal?

And you've got people hoarding parts

View attachment 1950255
For seemingly no reason other than display, driving up the price of decent keyboards for everyone. I have to wonder what these people are spending just to have closets full of plastic with buttons.

.... Oh man.... that looks cosy... and satisfying....

Fuck, that's not a good sign! Still, doesn't look more than an afternoon taking apart bootsale keyboards and reassembling them type cosy. Definitely not something I'd want to spend any more money than what I can find down the couch over.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Most consoomers I've run into always want to try and change my opinion about every fucking thing I'm south of "GEE WILLICKERS THAT SOUNDS SPLENDID!"

Consoomer: "OH MY FUCKING GOD NEW LEGO STAR WARS GAME IS HERE DID YOU KNOW THAT???"
Me: "Meh"
Consoomer: "I mean, it's LEGO, how can you not love that!?"
Me: "The quality of LEGO declines each generation yet the price goes up regardless of how miniscule the associated product is..."
Consoomer: "Not even the miniatures that you can build?"
Me: "Not relevant to me in the slightest, moving on..."
Consoomer: "But what about --"
Me: "What part of I don't give a solitary fuck about your woke ass brand religion do you not understand?"

Even if they do show a sign of agreeing to disagree, their memory spans are so fried by fast food and sponsored energy drink binges bring them right back into the same cycle of running into a brick wall.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Consoomers are described as Individuals who have no other personality trait than purchasing or obtaining the latest tech or entertainment product that doesn’t provide a siginificant improvement to their life or lifestyle without any care regarding the products quality or actual worth to them.

Consoomers will get overly excited and ecstatic over their favourite brand or product, their only personality trait being the fact that they indulge in popular media or popular products or brands, having little substance of their own.

An example of this would be Funko Pop collectors, people who spend Thousands of dollars on literal pieces of plastic in the shape of popular film or video game characters, just because they are in the shape of said characters, providing no actual benefit to the owners life other than burning a hole in their wallet.

View attachment 1948544

Consoomers can come in a multitude of flavours, such as Video Game Related Consoomers, who spend thousands on collectors editions of games that come with pieces of worthless plastic junk all the way to those who only purchase certain products because the companies that produce them support their political beliefs, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream would be a perfect example of a product purchased by consoomers due to it’s political standing that provides Zero Actual Benefit to it’s Customers.

This thread is to discuss and display mindless consumerism at it’s finest, dumbfucks who will buy literally everything and anything and waste thousands on the most stupid shit because it has a certain brand or name attached to it, people who will give their left leg and arm to a brand just because it’s popular or mainstream, those who worship products or brands as a personality trait, for us all to laugh at and discuss.

If you’re a bit retarded and don’t still understand what a Consoomer is, this short video should give you some insight into the Consoomer culture.

I haven't seen a bigger waste of money in my life when it comes to fan merchandise. At least dolls, action figures, and model kits can be posed so you can make your own pictures/stories/fanfiction with them, and you can share them with your kids when you do end up having kids, while anime statuettes among others are actually pleasing to LOOK at. Funko Pops look silly from the start, aren't as aesthetically pleasing as a statuette of your favorite anime waifu, and don't have as much of an enduring appeal as say, a statuette of a knight or a Roman legionnaire.

This and the invention of shittier and shitter keyboards for the sake of aesthetics and "minimalism". Please, tell us again how this

View attachment 1950246

With all of the hotkey function buttons ripped off of it, as well as many basic function keys, is as useful as this

View attachment 1950233

They're absolutely obsessed with a form factor that lacks something as simple as the print screen button. I've even seen ones that lack the number row. Half the posts on r/mechanicalkeyboards are shit like that. It gets even dumber when you see a lot of these people have like 50 of these things. How is that being minimal?

Technology is sliding away from what's practical to what's pretty. As much as I used IPADs a few years back, in the end, they were mutilated computers who don't have as much functionality as a standard computer. And of course, the more "upgraded" software is basically just more modern and commercialized, instead of more useful or more effective. I got an old ACER laptop that's been with me for 11 years, as compared to other computers and Ipads I've had that shorted out on me.

How about parents who name their daughter "Captain-Phasma" because The Force Awakens was their "life" and for wanting to own the "haters"?

https://www.thedad.com/captain-phasma/

'Family thinks I'm an a**hole for wanting to give baby Star Wars character name'

A father-to-be has revealed he and his wife want to name their unborn daughter after a character from Star Wars but their family aren't impressed by their decision

www.mirror.co.uk

View attachment 1950333View attachment 1950336
Imagine naming her "Captain" and thinking its cute.

That's about as funny as those broads who named their kids "Khaleesi" or "Daenerys" only to get screwed over when Daenerys the Mad Dragon Queen decided to burn down the capital city in Game of Thrones.

And the sad fact is, Phasma could have actually been an effective villain if she had character behind her. She could have been the Destro to Kylo Ren's Cobra Commander, a steel-faced second in command who compensates for the erratic behavior of her superior by getting her hands dirty and handing the good guys the occasional beating.

 

[Screw Danlon]

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Anyone know what that’s originally from? I’d like to have it on file.

Also, do the crazy coupon people count as consoomers? I feel like they should, and if others agree, i’ll see if I can track down some stuff.

I used to work with a lady who obsessively clipped coupons and would sometimes do things like buy 400 rolls of toilet paper for $6 or 60 bags of beef jerky for $10. And while, on the one hand, they are saving $, half the time they’re buying stuff they can never actually finish or wouldn’t buy at all if not for the coupons. (In fairness to her, she did donate some of it to the VA.)

 

[Mal0]

Anyone know what that’s originally from? I’d like to have it on file.

From some Customer Service Firm, can't be assed to look into it further. Here you go if you wanna go diggin'

Link 1
Link 2

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

Oh yeah, I should mention I've been wondering if "soy culture" was worthy of a thread, and now here's this thread, which covers pretty much all of soy culture that isn't covered by previously existing threads. Thanks, @Spez!

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

What about the hundreds of people that named their kids Kahleesi in exchange for no free shit? I bet season 8 was a trip for them.

I can't wait till those kids are high school age and have to explain to their peers that they were named after a Fictional Character that Set fire to an entire city of innocent people.

 

[FAQnews Correspondent]

I can't wait till those kids are high school age and have to explain to their peers that they were named after a Fictional Character that Set fire to an entire city of innocent people.

I don't know if it's better or worse that nobody even gives a shit about this character.

 

[Jar-Jar Fanboy]

I think a lot of consoomers just need to cut back, live by the "everything in moderation" rule, and to stop treating brands and products like a religion. There's nothing wrong with liking Pokemon or Star Wars or whatever, and it's even okay to have a few Funko Pops (I'll admit, I have a few kicking around that I've acquired over the years. Maybe like 5? Not sure). It just becomes a problem when they obsess over things to the point of spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on things, and frothing at the mouth over every new release. You can like and enjoy whatever you want, just don't be a fucking weirdo about it, you know?

 

[Ged!]

I have exactly one funko pop, that I was given as a gift, and I feel like that's too many.

 

[Toolbox]

I have exactly one funko pop, that I was given as a gift, and I feel like that's too many.

They were giving away tiny shitty funkos with some release of the terrible sequel to Kingsmen. I don't even know where that thing is now.

 

[Neet Tokusatsu]

I like how funkos are the posterchild for rampant consumerism, mainly because when these fuckers tell you buying these chunks of crude plastic is a hobby I think how sad it is that buying shite is now a hobby, not buying it and using it or developing any kind of skill set from it. No just the simple transaction of currency is considered a fucking hobby now.

I've always saw funkos as something people buy just for nerd creed, that the people who buy dozens and dozens of those things, are too lazy or too stupid to actually consume geek entertainment, too stupid to play videogames (anything beyond mobile games) too lazy to read comic books, why should they when they have the MCU?

Geek entertainment may me shallow, but when your idea of geek entertainment/culture starts and stops at just buying ugly plastic dolls, that's just sad.

 

[Ged!]

They were giving away tiny shitty funkos with some release of the terrible sequel to Kingsmen. I don't even know where that thing is now.

Mine's a Joey Ramone one. The Ramones are one of my favorite bands, so it not even something I'm disinterested in, but it just seems like a useless waste of space.

 

[Kujo Jotaro]

Pokemon is fucking insane with just how much stuff they put out every year. It's marketing itself as a lifestyle at this point with all the non-VG/TCG products they put out. On one hand, as someone who somewhat cares about Pokemon stuff, it's cool to be able to get replica merch from a higher class Chinese factory. On the other, I'd be shocked and appalled to see if all of this shit is actually making a significant profit. At least Li-Wen gets to feed his family for a another day.

Spoiler: Misc Pokemerch

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To be fair pokemon is the highest grossing media franchise in the world, and has been for quite some time. If Disney could turn their myriad of media holdings into a lifestyle you can't doubt the business savvy Japanese would be far behind.

I haven't noticed anyone bring up pokemon cards yet, and as someone who enjoyed them as a child and never lost that joy I'll say the people who collect them can be some of the biggest retards around. I distinctly remember a youtube channel that prided itself on completing master sets first (master set is every card in the set with every rarity variant in the set). These dudes would open box after box, mind you a booster box back then was like $80 not crazy but when you're potentially opening 50 plus boxes it starts to get expensive. Eventually they had to stop doing it because it really doesn't matter if you sell duplicates and bulk or not most of the time that might cover half of the box, not only did they stop box opening they had to sell off a large portion of their collection including legitimately valuable cards because they sunk so much money into it they had nothing left when an emergency came up.

Interestingly enough there seems to be a major distinction between the people who collect english and Japanese cards. The people who collect english are usually the least knowledgeable about the hobby, and tend to be the most autistic and manchildish. They throw fits when they're priced out of a card "Charizard first edition holo psa 10 is $50,000, this is so not fair I'm the real collector I deserve it more", and when you tell them japanese set cards are usually way cheaper(with the same artwork) they just scoff at you.

 

[Crybaby Xianghua]

I somehow doubt a lot of consoomers even have jobs or keep down jobs, let alone graduate high school.
They probably spend their tard bux or moocher bux on nostalgic media trash hoarding.

But sadly enough, if it wasn't for these tardo adult child consoomers who worship Nostalgic things like a religion, Hollywood and main steam media would not keep remaking, reboots, and whoring out series like they are doing recently. It's almost like those tardos are a huge marketable audience or something.