-Welcome back to my FAT CREEPY LAUGH
-If you're new, welcome TO my FAT CREEPY LAUGH
-HURNHURNHURN
-Was going to do a live this week
-But "life" got the best of her
-BUT NO MATTER WHAT
-She WILL ignore her children for three hours tomorrow
-Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night will stay her from letting wee screaming demons eat your nerves for THREE FUCKING HOURS
*rheumy eye swipe
-So minny things this week
-CONSTANTLY ON THE GO YOU GUYS
-There were grammatically incorrect shirts to sloppily throw together
-There were pictures and copy to steal and merchandise to mark up 100%%%%%
-Rilly hard to find the time to sit and sit
-Can't do a Cricut titorial because kids are beening loud
-And obnoxious
-COULD do a voice over to hide the screams of the damned and spastic
-Won't do a voice over to hide the screams of the damned and spastic
-Needs a nap
-DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO SLEEP!!!!
-Shit ain't gonna plagiarize itself you know
-Would like to take a moment to talk to you about hair
-Hair. A vestigial artifact of evolution.
-From when we were damn dirty apes
-And then a monolith appeared
-And made electric sleeping recliners and frozen pizza
-Doesn't talk about hair much for she is modest before Allah and must hide her beauty as Mohammad -who was a child fucker- commanded
-INNYWAYS
-Is using a new produck
-TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH IT!!!!
-The material of her hair is coarsness
-It's soft and it rats
-Does not "shower her hair" every single day
-As is the way of pigs
-She bathes """everyday"""
-Showers her hair twice a week
-Lidurlee
-As is the way of pigs
-SO she keeps it in a poop bun
-And it gets natted and ratted
-Because the monolith forgot to give us hair brush technology
-On shower night, it takes sooooo long to brush the rats out
-And the raccoons
-And those creepy primate things with the rodent teeth and one long finger
*rheumy eye wipe
-OMG YOU GUYS
-Sometheeng tried to make a home in her hair
-Because there was a knot the size of a cabbage in the back of her head
-Like rilly doesn't know how that happened
*rheumy eye swipe
-So matted you guys
-HAD TO HAVE AWLEE HELP HER!!!!
-You know how when you had a Barbie doll
-And the fucking dog chewed half her leg off
-And pooped out her shoes
-And her hair was all matted
-So you had to rip it and its head pops off????
-It was like that
-But WAAAAAAAAAY fucking fatter
-And less mobile
-And she was all- IT HURTS
-And Awlee was like- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT THE MOON PIES NOT USE THEM AS A PILLOW AIMEE I AM NOT A HAIRDRESSER
-And she was like- NEVER MIND STOP!!!!!!!!!!
-Couldn't find inny combs because she hadn't shit them out yet
-And she was all- WE'RE GOING TO HAFT TO CUT MY HAIR!!!!!
-Was lidurlee bawleeng
-Legit
-So sad you guys
-Her hair would lidurlee have been to her ears loafs
-Was lidurlee getting sick
-So Awlee went to Wommart
-She put coconut oil in her hair
-And water in a bottle
-Esraa has the same cabbage rats because Amy never brushes her hair either
-So she puts that in with leave in dry conditioner
-Please hold while Amy roots through the bed to find bottles of shit that should be in the shower
-This is what she uses
-LOOK AT IT!!!!
-Moar leave in conditioner
-LEGIT DOUSED HER HAIR WITH ALL THE PRODUCKS!!!!
-NOTHEENG WAS WORKEENG!!!!
-HER BRUSH WAS GOING TO BREAK!!
-In an effort to trick Amy into brushing her goddamn hair once in a while
-He got her a bottle of dry shampoo
-The tricksy gypsy now got out of hafting to wash Amy's hair and fatty crevasses
-He also got her dry oil
-Because she makes wet oil all on her own
-AND OMG YOU GUYS
-She could comb her hair
-Because Alwlee had also went and got a comb
-Now she has dry shampoo and dry conditioner
-SHE NEVER HAFTS TO WASH HER HAIR AGAIN!!!!
-Was in tears over hafting to cut her hair
-Lidurlee about to pass out
-TOOK TWO AND A HALF HOURS TO COMB THE THE KNOTS OUT OF HER HAIR!!!!
-INNYWAYS
-Because her power went out for twenty minutes from the ice storm
-IT DELAYED ALL HER PRODUCK MAKEENG!!!!
-OMGOSH THE BOTTLE IS SO KYUOOOO'T!!!!
Here's a plastic bottle she mashed some stickers on
LOOK AT IT!!!
-IT'S A MERMAID!!!!
-Made a fone holder
-LOOK AT IT WHILE AMY DOES GRATING BABY VOICE NOISES!!!!
-rooka dah rooka rooka rooka dahhhhh
-INNYWAYS
-Live tomorrow
-Will sell on auctioneeng
-Hopes the weather gets "better"
Tole Awlee she wants to take the kids down to the skool twice a day to show them where they will never go
-Then she wants to take them to the jail to show them their permanent residence when they reach the age of majority
-Will let them run their innergy out
-Twice a day
-At the skool
-She will take her walker
-So she can sit
-In this elaborate fantasy of her leaving the house twice a day for the good of her children
-SHE COULD FALL!!!!!
-See you tomorrow
-BYE!!!!!
