Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Cynar]

At least Anna isn't fucking up the lives of a teenager and preschooler, so I'm cutting her a lot of slack.

Agreed. And, ofc, "totally blew every chance handed to me" doesn't necessarily make a person bad. It's all the whining and lack of responsibility on top of it. Anyway, far be it from me to defend Anna, but as far as who is the bigger monster overall Tess is a clear winner imo

 

[multiverse]

Tess gets tiny lipsticks that her hooves can't manage.


Omg Starbucks DEFINES her gay self?


This is her real friend!


Look at her giant appendage! So casual, yeah?



Get her work with an agent pls?

 

[Water-T]

Is it possible Tess made this “advertisement” herself in the hope of being picked up by this company?
It would explain a lot of things. For example: ridiculous storyline, focus mainly on Tess and not the product, not really showing the brand/label, very noticeable details like filthy feet, her shoes already undone, and Tess clomping around out of breath and sweaty etc.
The whole thing is just so bad that I find it hard to believe it wasn't wholly conceived and controlled by her. What professional would want their name on this?

Edited to remove random attachment

That would explain why its not appearing anywhere on the product site. If this was an officially sanctioned commercial, the focus would be the product instead of Tess failing to be graceful or sexy, and the label would be much easier to identify.

I would not be surprised if this was feeder bait for new clients, cloaked in the guise of a legit ad

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

No need to open GIMP to lose my desire for food today. Bring on the booze!

Spoiler: Ewwwww.

Tess, Tess, Tess. If you're going to have fake claws, at least have the common courtesy to clean under those heinous things before posting pictures of your gross talons online.

The pixelation can't hide the purple coloration of that fourth toe or the odd pinkish tint on the fifth. Check out those discolored toe joints! HeAlThY!!!

 

[Cheesegirl78]

"She doesn't eat 25,000 calories in a day!"

No, just in TWO days.

 

[Oscar Winner]

That would explain why its not appearing anywhere on the product site. If this was an officially sanctioned commercial, the focus would be the product instead of Tess failing to be graceful or sexy, and the label would be much easier to identify.

I would not be surprised if this was feeder bait for new clients, cloaked in the guise of a legit ad

Exactly. What company would invest the time and money to have that “advertisement” be the best result they could get, all the way through editing etc. and not use or even mention it anywhere?
I'm not from the US and I haven't bothered to see how much these products cost, but wouldn't they go for indulgence, self-care/nurturing, product performance/results, whatever. It's literally just a few seconds of product mention and the rest is tacky Tess doing a semi striptease and god awful lingerie.

Maybe the biggest hint it's all just fake ad/feeder bait is that all the clothes actually fucking fit

 

[GrouchiCorn]

That barista is exceptional. "I only see her in the morning", okay.. so that gives you enough information to guess how many calories she takes in a day? Just LOOK AT HER FFS.

 

[Narr Then]

That would explain why its not appearing anywhere on the product site. If this was an officially sanctioned commercial, the focus would be the product instead of Tess failing to be graceful or sexy, and the label would be much easier to identify.

I would not be surprised if this was feeder bait for new clients, cloaked in the guise of a legit ad

I think you're all bang on the button there...I thought there was something off with it (apart from the obvious)...the part where she was scratching her tattoo was jarring. No skincare company would have something like that in their ad.

 

[melty]

It's really unprofessional of the barista to trash her other customers like that. God forbid they buy the sugary milkshakes you're selling.

 

[GrouchiCorn]

It's really unprofessional of the barista to trash her other customers like that. God forbid they buy the sugary milkshakes you're selling.

Not only that, but it's doubtful that these other customers are going EVERY SINGLE DAY and getting the worst items and then chasing it with a cake

 

[HalfnHalfUdderCalf]

I thought it was obvious she paid for this whole little production. Like a trish paytas music video. She didn’t even claim otherwise when posting it.
She had the mlm style valentines party to shill their products- and then came out with this.. she probably signed on for some influencer promo partnership with them and got a box of free product. The ‘ad’ was unsanctioned. Not to mention the ‘director’ and style choices were all clearly her picks via instagram.. I wonder how much it cost her.. probably paid the crew in exposure.
And that Starbucks barista should be canned for going on the internet to discuss a customers daily calorie intake. I’d never go back to that location.

 

[bloomingcactus]

If you stretch a human leg out like this photo it usually looks like one continuous "leg". There generally isn't a extreme difference between thigh and calf. Even with someone that's chubby.

This is something else entirely. She's gotten so fat that each body part is like a sausage. You can also see the same thing with her hand to wrist. Wrist to her forearm and then to her massive upper arm. I think someone up thread said when she scratched her skin on her calf it didn't move, like it was so full of fat the skin was stretched to bursting.

It's sad when your leg looks like an ass or breasts from another angle.

 

[Umaibae]

You guys forget that the skincare brand had her on their socials for interviews for this product launch.

They definitely made it. The reason you’re not seeing it promoted is because it sucks. Not every ad campaign that’s made is always used.

 

[Oscar Winner]

View attachment 1954551

If you stretch a human leg out like this photo it usually looks like one continuous "leg". There generally isn't a extreme difference between thigh and calf. Even with someone that's chubby.

This is something else entirely. She's gotten so fat that each body part is like a sausage. You can also see the same thing with her hand to wrist. Wrist to her forearm and then to her massive upper arm. I think someone up thread said when she scratched her skin on her calf it didn't move, like it was so full of fat the skin was stretched to bursting.

It's sad when your leg looks like an ass or breasts from another angle.

View attachment 1954561

Also sad that with Tess, the only way you can tell the difference between her legs and arms is whether there's a foot or a hand attached to the end of it.
She can photoshop, lie about her weight, measurements etc. all she wants, but how can she lie to herself when she must feel genuinely unwell and at the ver least, uncomfortable?

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

LMAO, are we just going to ignore the old guy who is her latest BFF?

You guys forget that the skincare brand had her on their socials for interviews for this product launch.

They definitely made it. The reason you’re not seeing it promoted is because it sucks. Not every ad campaign that’s made is always used.

I agree. Some naive person in marketing sees Tess Hoolliday’s large Instagram subscriber count and thinks they can strike gold without ever asking themselves why nobody works with her outside of Flabletics, who will work with just about anyone. Then Tubby Tess shits all over it by being awful, lying about her measurements, and the collaboration ends in failure. Then Tess lies about how they’re all abusers and gaslighters until some other naive marketing dupe sees Tess’ social media subscriber counts and thinks they have an opportunity. The cycle repeats.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

That was a sweet little story that Starbucks barista tried to sell. But I have seen what obscene sugary shit Tess tosses into her coffee at home, and call bullshit. So no one can tell me that Tess goes to Starbucks just for a plain black coffee and adds just a little sugar and skimmed milk. Also going every day to Starbucks... Wow, but okay. Tess was never known to manage her financials wisely.

 

[America's Giggling Gigolo]

LMAO, are we just going to ignore the old guy who is her latest BFF?

Agreed, this could be huge! A first glimpse of one of Tess' feeders?

 

[Poop Shoot]

LMAO, are we just going to ignore the old guy who is her latest BFF?

Maybe he's a client.

Agreed, this could be huge! A first glimpse of one of Tess' feeders?

Ahh beat me to it.

 

[Clotso Coof]

This is her real friend!
View attachment 1953899

Is this the guy who pays her rent if she farts on enough cakes each month?

He looks like one of those old perverts who hides his creepiness well in short conversations with women. But if you talk to him for more than about 20 minutes, the conversation gets weirder and weirder until you figure out he's a creeper.

That barista is exceptional. "I only see her in the morning", okay.. so that gives you enough information to guess how many calories she takes in a day? Just LOOK AT HER FFS.

Barista sees her in line for 3 minutes a day (and probably lies about what she buys): "I totally know how many calories a day Tess eats! Most of my other customers are pigs, but not my only famous-ish customer!"

I think you're all bang on the button there...I thought there was something off with it (apart from the obvious)...the part where she was scratching her tattoo was jarring. No skincare company would have something like that in their ad.

I winced when she scratched her nasty tattoo'd leg. Thank god there weren't visible skin flakes flying off in the closeup.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

Because her weird ad came up again. What weirded me out in this mess -among other things- that they picked the leg with the ugly ass zombified praying hands tattoo. When she rubbed the lotion halfassly into her leg, you stare at this thing. Couldn't they just use another angle, the other leg or another bodypart?

Her arm with the Dolly, Divine and Miss Piggy tattoo is out of question to feature prominently, because you might have the celebrity's brand lawyers up Your ass, when the face shows up prominently in some shitty failure of an ad, because celebrities and their faces are brands.

That can be the problems with tattooed models too. Not just the tattoos in general, but how much they distract from the product, you are facing an intensly ugly shit tattoo on the part of the body you wanted to feature or brand and licensing issues.