Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 193 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,663
Tess did an interview/podcast thingy pre COVID that was on YouTube. Maybe 2019ish with her tattoo artist... Nikko Hurtado (really sucks she’s gotten so much work from him because I love him but oh well). She said she was meeting with her plastic surgeon because she was going to “get her arms done””. Which I took as she was going to make them smaller? I don’t see how it would be possible without her losing weight. But I guess nothing came of that. Tess absolutely would have a mommy makeover/tummy tuck etc. done. And I wouldn’t blame her for that but, she would have to lose so much weight for it to be possible. Something she isn’t willing to do.
 
She said she was meeting with her plastic surgeon because she was going to “get her arms done””. Which I took as she was going to make them smaller? I don’t see how it would be possible without her losing weight. But I guess nothing came of that. Tess absolutely would have a mommy makeover/tummy tuck etc. done. And I wouldn’t blame her for that but, she would have to lose so much weight for it to be possible. Something she isn’t willing to do.
I wouldn't be surprised if she had liposuction on her chins snd neck years ago when she was still a size 24. It would help explain the relatively solid chin/jawline on an obese model.

Now, she's too fat for neck lipo to do any good. It's possible she wants a plastic surgeon to do an arm lift plus lipo on her now, but I can't see a reputable doctor agreeing to do it. Too risky and the results may turn out lumpy.
 
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She said she was meeting with her plastic surgeon because she was going to “get her arms done””. Which I took as she was going to make them smaller? I don’t see how it would be possible without her losing weight. But I guess nothing came of that. Tess absolutely would have a mommy makeover/tummy tuck etc. done. And I wouldn’t blame her for that but, she would have to lose so much weight for it to be possible. Something she isn’t willing to do.
I know next-to-nothing at all about these procedures or anything medical, but it seems just from looking at Tess' arms that she'd be a bad candidate? We're talking multiple incisions, in the limbs of a whiny combative patient, who is actively gaining weight, and has arms so fat they look ready to burst.
 
I know next-to-nothing at all about these procedures or anything medical, but it seems just from looking at Tess' arms that she'd be a bad candidate? We're talking multiple incisions, in the limbs of a whiny combative patient, who is actively gaining weight, and has arms so fat they look ready to burst.
And what about her arm tattoos? Seems like any liposuction or other surgery would destroy them.
I don't like most of her ink, but I do love the Dolly tattoo.
 
And what about her arm tattoos? Seems like any liposuction or other surgery would destroy them.
I don't like most of her ink, but I do love the Dolly tattoo.
Someone like Naomi or Linda Evangelista my be bitchy, but they show up, the size they claim they are in their books, get the job done, and can walk the runway like no other. They can sell the clothes, makeup, haircare, etc. There's reasons why major companies and designers used those ladies for years.
I think her tattoos are also a problem. There was a short time when models with piercings and tattoos were in. But that faded fast. She then added more tattoos.

I guess if she was WAY WAY thinner and modeling leather and doing suicide girl type stuff her tattoos would be appropriate.

Just the juxtaposition between that frilly pink dress and her tattoos was so jarring. Companies have a particular look they want for their brand. They want the product to be the focus. Even plus size clothing companies try to use the smallest plus size models they can get away with. Fat white tattooed trailer trash isn't the look they want.

Her BBFF-OTH (black best friend forever - of the hour) got that billboard but I think that is because companies are virtue signaling to BLM.
 
Anyone wanna guess when the inevitable, “I have autism” Instagram post will happen. F0A7017A-ACDA-4A53-BC45-9D63F7D3AA12.jpeg
 
Anyone wanna guess when the inevitable, “I have autism” Instagram post will happen.View attachment 1962883
Wow getting irritable at a tonne of noises and distractions around, then losing your temper. Not a normal thing that practically everyone experiences all the time. No sir. We need a special diagnosis for this strange and baffling behaviour.
 
Oh no she’s probably going to do the autistic LARP next as to why people are so so mean to her but she’s still a special snowflake.

Being a narcissist sociopath doesn’t mean autism Tess. It means you’re a shitty person who thinks everything revolves around you and your comfort the feelings of others be damned.

And devoted to being a hambeast doesn’t count as a “special interest”.
 
⏰ but i couldn't get over the amount of veins which look like great candidates for body builder vascularity or varicose veins - however she is a super moddul guys so I must be a 🤡

I upped the contrast a little and took away some of the overblown brightness and exposure which she couldn't take any further.... wow such filter and shopping skills for our Tess.

Check out that dewy skin too. She lives in california how does she not even get this right?!

Screenshot_20210301-192744_Brave.jpg


On the subject of cosmetic procedures and surgeries. Definitely think she is getting every procedure sans knife going. She can't literally go it seems a month without more filler to her lips. I'm no expert but I think the taughtness in her fat face on the brow bone makes me think so. Deathfat people have fat eyelids.

Edit - I mean that sunburn on her dewy skin. Words hard
 
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⏰ but i couldn't get over the amount of veins which look like great candidates for body builder vascularity or varicose veins - however she is a super moddul guys so I must be a 🤡

I upped the contrast a little and took away some of the overblown brightness and exposure which she couldn't take any further.... wow such filter and shopping skills for our Tess.

Check out that dewy skin too. She lives in california how does she not even get this right?!

View attachment 1963744

On the subject of cosmetic procedures and surgeries. Definitely think she is getting every procedure sans knife going. She can't literally go it seems a month without more filler to her lips. I'm no expert but I think the taughtness in her fat face on the brow bone makes me think so. Deathfat people have fat eyelids.

Edit - I mean that sunburn on her dewy skin. Words hard
Wow shitlord. You probably would just let your honey-baked hams i mean tits get sunburned too if you required enough sunscreen to bankrupt a small nation in order to properly cover your bloated-tick body for a single afternoon.

She can’t even put her own hair up without a whole-ass plan of action, so you know she would need the expensive spray sunscreen to reach all her various exposed hocks. The massive expense for the amount of spray sunscreen Tess would require to protect herself for a single summer in the People’s Gaypublic of Drugafornia would necessitate its own line item on her budget. And that’s money better spent on weed and champagne cakes.

ETA: you Californian dumbraters have apparently never watched 30 Rock and it shows. “The People’s Gaypublic of Drugafornia” is just a stupid TV reference I happen to love so lower your spines.
 
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Anyone wanna guess when the inevitable, “I have autism” Instagram post will happen.
If this worthless bitch tries to "I have Autism" her way into career opportunities or to excuse bad behavior, I'm going to get MOTI. 🎩 Actual innocent people, not attention whoring cake farters, deal with Autism every day and try to make normal, healthy lives for themselves.

Nearly 40 year old Woman Gets Annoyed When Constantly Surrounded by Aggravatingly Loud Noise: News at 11!
 
If this worthless bitch tries to "I have Autism" her way into career opportunities or to excuse bad behavior, I'm going to get MOTI. 🎩 Actual innocent people, not attention whoring cake farters, deal with Autism every day and try to make normal, healthy lives for themselves.

The only disability this bitch has is "Can't Put Down the Fork" syndrome.
 
Tess has actually used the I hate lots of noise and over sensory issue before.

And now I think about it. I'm 3x sad on the goddammit Internet because I'm sure she uses this as a weapon against her kids and especially Bowie.

Bowie- if you loved mummy you would stop being a child and making a noise and being happy and playful and excited.

If you also loved mummy. You know you go to you barren bedroom when the men and cakes turn up and make no sound at all. Remember you did want that toy from the shop this week?? Well there's a good little boy now... off you run and remember. Be quiet.
(:_(

Edit words hard
 
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If this worthless bitch tries to "I have Autism" her way into career opportunities or to excuse bad behavior, I'm going to get MOTI. 🎩 Actual innocent people, not attention whoring cake farters, deal with Autism every day and try to make normal, healthy lives for themselves.


Nearly 40 year old Woman Gets Annoyed When Constantly Surrounded by Aggravatingly Loud Noise: News at 11!
I used to be a SPED teacher in a public high school. The district (and the building's) philosophy was RECOVERY, INDEPENDENCE, EFFICACY, and ACCOUNTABILITY. No student was allowed to sling muh autism card as an excuse for tarding hard in school or general asshattery. Ryann the GUNT is absolutely setting the stage actively for this. Count me MOTI as well because I am still WAITING for someone--ANYONE--to start calling this pig out and warning her stans about what narratives she's staging next.

How in the almighty fuck has Ryann not been cancelled yet? People have been canceled, tarred, and feathered for way less.
 
Anyone wanna guess when the inevitable, “I have autism” Instagram post will happen.View attachment 1962883
Tess, fuck off. If you had a sensory disorder you sure as fuck wouldn't be doing modeling.
How in the almighty fuck has Ryann not been cancelled yet? People have been canceled, tarred, and feathered for way less.
People have tried, she won't let them. To be canceled, you have to allow yourself to be canceled. So far she hasn't.
 
How in the almighty fuck has Ryann not been cancelled yet? People have been canceled, tarred, and feathered for way less.

Because she plays by the retarded bylaws of SocJus. She roleplays being a queer, hardcore white apologist that sucks the dicks/clits of black influencers in order to stay relevant. For all the dumb shit she's said on Twitter, she will always be accepted back into the fold so long as she pays lip service to her SJW overlords.
 
Oh no she’s probably going to do the autistic LARP next as to why people are so so mean to her but she’s still a special snowflake.

Being a narcissist sociopath doesn’t mean autism Tess. It means you’re a shitty person who thinks everything revolves around you and your comfort the feelings of others be damned.

And devoted to being a hambeast doesn’t count as a “special interest”.
Tess is realizing that the “I’M QUEER” card doesn’t work as well if you’re a big white woman who is only seen dating or wanting to date fit white cis men. Being photographed lightly kissing other female models like you have a mouthful of lemons doesn’t count...the most basic of straight bitches all have photos doing that in college.

She tried bolstering that angle with Olly as her pretend trans lover, but Olly was only willing to let her get away with so much in public.

I’m certain at some point while sitting in front of the telly, Tess sent out feelers like, “Wouldn’t it be SO FUNNY if people thought we were dating? Can you imagine, Olly? Hahaha. I mean....hahaha. Not that it wouldn’t be hysterical and....you know I’ve always thought that fat-trans intersectional relationships need more visibility, for the good of society of course....hahaha...I mean...it wouldn’t be a BAD thing, obviously, er...you know, Hollywood A-listers get in fake relationships all the time? Total power couples. It’s such good publicity....hahaha....can you imagine?”

And then Olly shot Tess a look and Tess knew this was not going to fly.

So now without an honest to goodness actual QUEEEEEEEEEER partner to back her claims, Tess’ overuse of the QUEEEEEEER card is wearing thin. Everyone’s claiming to be bi these days for woke cred.

She can’t go trans because that defeats her entire “sexy feminine moddle” thing. Same reason she can’t claim enby status. She tried to appropriate the transness of someone else by randomly bringing up in a question about her sons that her “last partner was trans.” Who, Nick? No he isn’t. Olly? No, she said in the same post Olly was (infuriatingly) just a friend.

Must be that other partner, the trans one, you wouldn’t know them, they go to a different school.

Her “beaten but triumphant battered woman” shtick ran out long ago, no one cares when she tries to vaguepost and bait people into asking her about her husband so she can screech that it’s not their business and she’s traumatized and how dare.

I suppose Tess thinks the next way to get oppression cred is through a “disorder” of some sort. You know she hates spiders? Haaaaaates them. And she finds it impossible to wake up in the mornings. Pretty sure it’s autism.

Calling it now, in six months we will be getting posts from Tess that start with “As a person who is on the spectrum...”
 
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I'm intrigued at the possible autism angle. Muh qUEeRnEsS and Muh aBuSe didn't lead to the career revival she had hoped for so I assumeded she'd dive into trooning out her youngest son, but I can see how she might try this as a stop-gap.

Let's see how this plays out. It never ends in her favor so I'm looking forward either way.
 
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