- Joined
- Jul 1, 2019
EDIT: Full transcripts coming soon for archival purposes. Part 3 (Attempted Interventions) and Part 4 (Throwing Friends Under the Bus) coming soon.
Lori is an abuser who has harmed her victims in a wide variety of ways over the past 20 years. Covert abuse can include emotional / psychological, verbal, and financial abuse. Lori has been known to use tactics like isolation, exploitation, excessive control, withholding affection, humiliation, verbal abuse, intimidation, degradation, bullying, etc. There are countless examples of Lori using covert abuse against Kevin and documenting the bulk of known instances in one post is impossible. To organize and streamline this topic, here are some examples of Lori covertly abusing Kevin with added info regarding various forms of abuse that she regularly employs.
Kevin's Dwindling Social Circle: Since they started dating in November 2017, Kevin has lost many relationships with his friends and family as a direct result of Lori's behavior. Lori purposely alienates Kevin from his social circles because she's abusively controlling and a victim is much easier to manipulate when they are isolated. She uses many methods to achieve this dehumanizing goal and creates intricate false narratives that frame Kevin's friends as abusers and herself as an innocent victim. Lori publicly insults members of Kevin's social circle, stalks his social media accounts, and closely polices all online comments to, from, or about him. Due to her rampant misogyny and toxic jealousy, Lori is known to be particularly aggressive and rude towards other women including Kevin's long-term platonic female friends.
"ADD Kevin Hanft. Im gonna marry this boy and id like him to have decent friends so if you havent added him maybe do it for me?
he makes all my cool cosplay armor and we doing Warcraft costumes next year!!!!!" - Lori
"I'm glad my friends aren't complete pieces of shit. u guys." - Lori
"Sucks when someone keeps disrespectful people around." - Lori
"You have your crazy two faced friends to blame for this one babe" - Lori
- Alienating: Cutting off or interfering with an individual's relationship with other people.
- Deceiver's Distrust: The tendency of people who engage in acts of deception to perceive the recipients of those lies as untrustworthy and dishonest.
- Engulfing: An unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on a person that comes from imagining or believing one exists only within the context of that relationship.
- Grooming: The predatory act of maneuvering a person into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior.
- Imposing Isolation: When abuse results in a person becoming isolated from their support network including friends and family.
- Relational Hypervigilance: Maintaining an unhealthy level of interest in the behaviors, comments, thoughts, and interests of another person.
Paying Tribute: Lori demands a steady stream of compliments, validation, reassurance, and tributes from her minions to prove their loyalty. As a self-aggrandizing narcissist, Lori actively recruits, deceives, and coerces her minions into singing her praises. This includes public asspats for performing basic adult tasks, being "cute," and simply existing. Failure to regularly acknowledge Lori's specialness can result in histrionics, the silent treatment, temper tantrums, and worse.
- Emotional Blackmail: A system of threats and punishments used in an attempt to control the behavior of another person.
- Hysteria: An inappropriate overreaction to upsetting news or disappointments that diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.
- Silent Treatment: A passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval, and contempt is exhibited through non-verbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence.
- Testing: Repeatedly forcing a person to demonstrate or prove their love or commitment to a relationship.
- Thought Policing: Any process of trying to question, control, or unduly influence a person's thoughts or feelings.
"Always Hiro Ready": Despite Lori's attempts to normalize her "cosplay lifestyle," skinwalking as an adult is abnormal. As Kevin's social circle continues to shrink due to Lori's toxic behavior, his perception of the world will become more distorted and his ability to receive feedback outside of Lori's echo chamber will be severely compromised.
Facebook Friend: "Damn homie do you wear your costumes every day?"
Lori: "I mean its just clothing. Shit slides on so easy. My hair and make up is the same pretty much every day and kevins hair is always hiro ready. When I was heavier it was annoying."
Kevin: "Cosplay is our hobby, it's what we do for fun, it only makes sense to do it when we feel like it"
Lori: "Babe some peoples cosplays involve a lot of effort to put on. Shes just used to having to put on shape wear and a lot of make up and wiiiiigs"
- Masking: Covering up one's own natural outward appearance, mannerisms, and speech in dramatic and inconsistent ways depending on the situation. This includes copying the exact appearance of another person (or character).
- Normalizing: A tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive, or inappropriate behaviors. It is the manipulation of a person to get them to accept or agree to something that is in conflict with the law, social norms, or their own basic code of behavior.
Lori The Leech: As a veteran grifter, Lori prefers to freeload, mooch, and drain resources from others rather than take responsibility for herself. Kevin serves as her current rent payer, prop maker, chauffeur, personal ATM, masseuse, dildo, white knight, and overall minion. He exists as a means to an end for Lori and her wants will always trump his needs.
- Dependency: An inappropriate and chronic reliance by an adult on another person for their subsistence, health, or personal well-being.
- Neglect: A passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a person are disregarded or ignored.
- Objectification: The practice of treating a person like an object.
- Proxy Recruitment: A way of controlling a person by manipulating them into unwittingly doing the abuser's "dirty work."
- Sense of Entitlement: An unrealistic, unmerited, or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.
Drama Queen: Lori loves and lives for drama. If things are relatively quiet, she'll create drama for attention and the sadistic thrill of manufacturing chaos. It makes Lori feel powerful because she has so few accomplishments and so little clout in the real world. It also forces people around her to "pick a side" and suffer the consequences of a no-win scenario: (a) choose Lori and risk alienation from others or (b) choose against Lori and suffer her wrath.
Lori: "Some people have done some really shady things the last couple years and I think its finally time to start naming some names, right Kevin?"
Kevin: "Yes a shitton of people wronged us but it was years ago. I'm at work. We'll talk when I get home."
- Baiting: A provocative act used to solicit an angry, aggressive, or emotional response from a person.
- Chaos Manufacturing: Unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion, or mess.
- Intimidation: Any form of veiled, hidden, indirect, or non-verbal threat.
- Manipulation: The practice of steering an individual into a desired behavior for the purpose of achieving a hidden personal goal.
- Self-Victimization: Casting oneself in the role of a victim.
LORI AND KEVIN (PART 2): COVERT ABUSE
- Lori and Kevin (Part 1): Overt Abuse [LINK]
- Lori and Kevin (Part 1): Overt Abuse [LINK]
Lori is an abuser who has harmed her victims in a wide variety of ways over the past 20 years. Covert abuse can include emotional / psychological, verbal, and financial abuse. Lori has been known to use tactics like isolation, exploitation, excessive control, withholding affection, humiliation, verbal abuse, intimidation, degradation, bullying, etc. There are countless examples of Lori using covert abuse against Kevin and documenting the bulk of known instances in one post is impossible. To organize and streamline this topic, here are some examples of Lori covertly abusing Kevin with added info regarding various forms of abuse that she regularly employs.
Kevin's Dwindling Social Circle: Since they started dating in November 2017, Kevin has lost many relationships with his friends and family as a direct result of Lori's behavior. Lori purposely alienates Kevin from his social circles because she's abusively controlling and a victim is much easier to manipulate when they are isolated. She uses many methods to achieve this dehumanizing goal and creates intricate false narratives that frame Kevin's friends as abusers and herself as an innocent victim. Lori publicly insults members of Kevin's social circle, stalks his social media accounts, and closely polices all online comments to, from, or about him. Due to her rampant misogyny and toxic jealousy, Lori is known to be particularly aggressive and rude towards other women including Kevin's long-term platonic female friends."ADD Kevin Hanft. Im gonna marry this boy and id like him to have decent friends so if you havent added him maybe do it for me?
he makes all my cool cosplay armor and we doing Warcraft costumes next year!!!!!" - Lori"I'm glad my friends aren't complete pieces of shit.
u guys." - Lori"Sucks when someone keeps disrespectful people around." - Lori
"You have your crazy two faced friends to blame for this one babe" - Lori
- Alienating: Cutting off or interfering with an individual's relationship with other people.
- Deceiver's Distrust: The tendency of people who engage in acts of deception to perceive the recipients of those lies as untrustworthy and dishonest.
- Engulfing: An unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on a person that comes from imagining or believing one exists only within the context of that relationship.
- Grooming: The predatory act of maneuvering a person into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior.
- Imposing Isolation: When abuse results in a person becoming isolated from their support network including friends and family.
- Relational Hypervigilance: Maintaining an unhealthy level of interest in the behaviors, comments, thoughts, and interests of another person.
Paying Tribute: Lori demands a steady stream of compliments, validation, reassurance, and tributes from her minions to prove their loyalty. As a self-aggrandizing narcissist, Lori actively recruits, deceives, and coerces her minions into singing her praises. This includes public asspats for performing basic adult tasks, being "cute," and simply existing. Failure to regularly acknowledge Lori's specialness can result in histrionics, the silent treatment, temper tantrums, and worse.
- Emotional Blackmail: A system of threats and punishments used in an attempt to control the behavior of another person.
- Hysteria: An inappropriate overreaction to upsetting news or disappointments that diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.
- Silent Treatment: A passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval, and contempt is exhibited through non-verbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence.
- Testing: Repeatedly forcing a person to demonstrate or prove their love or commitment to a relationship.
- Thought Policing: Any process of trying to question, control, or unduly influence a person's thoughts or feelings.
"Always Hiro Ready": Despite Lori's attempts to normalize her "cosplay lifestyle," skinwalking as an adult is abnormal. As Kevin's social circle continues to shrink due to Lori's toxic behavior, his perception of the world will become more distorted and his ability to receive feedback outside of Lori's echo chamber will be severely compromised.Facebook Friend: "Damn homie do you wear your costumes every day?"
Lori: "I mean its just clothing. Shit slides on so easy. My hair and make up is the same pretty much every day and kevins hair is always hiro ready. When I was heavier it was annoying."
Kevin: "Cosplay is our hobby, it's what we do for fun, it only makes sense to do it when we feel like it"
Lori: "Babe some peoples cosplays involve a lot of effort to put on. Shes just used to having to put on shape wear and a lot of make up and wiiiiigs"
- Masking: Covering up one's own natural outward appearance, mannerisms, and speech in dramatic and inconsistent ways depending on the situation. This includes copying the exact appearance of another person (or character).
- Normalizing: A tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive, or inappropriate behaviors. It is the manipulation of a person to get them to accept or agree to something that is in conflict with the law, social norms, or their own basic code of behavior.
Lori The Leech: As a veteran grifter, Lori prefers to freeload, mooch, and drain resources from others rather than take responsibility for herself. Kevin serves as her current rent payer, prop maker, chauffeur, personal ATM, masseuse, dildo, white knight, and overall minion. He exists as a means to an end for Lori and her wants will always trump his needs.
- Dependency: An inappropriate and chronic reliance by an adult on another person for their subsistence, health, or personal well-being.
- Neglect: A passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a person are disregarded or ignored.
- Objectification: The practice of treating a person like an object.
- Proxy Recruitment: A way of controlling a person by manipulating them into unwittingly doing the abuser's "dirty work."
- Sense of Entitlement: An unrealistic, unmerited, or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.
Drama Queen: Lori loves and lives for drama. If things are relatively quiet, she'll create drama for attention and the sadistic thrill of manufacturing chaos. It makes Lori feel powerful because she has so few accomplishments and so little clout in the real world. It also forces people around her to "pick a side" and suffer the consequences of a no-win scenario: (a) choose Lori and risk alienation from others or (b) choose against Lori and suffer her wrath.Lori: "Some people have done some really shady things the last couple years and I think its finally time to start naming some names, right Kevin?"
Kevin: "Yes a shitton of people wronged us but it was years ago. I'm at work. We'll talk when I get home."
- Baiting: A provocative act used to solicit an angry, aggressive, or emotional response from a person.
- Chaos Manufacturing: Unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion, or mess.
- Intimidation: Any form of veiled, hidden, indirect, or non-verbal threat.
- Manipulation: The practice of steering an individual into a desired behavior for the purpose of achieving a hidden personal goal.
- Self-Victimization: Casting oneself in the role of a victim.
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