Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[taintmisbehavin]

The reason no one is canceling her is because her career has been in a downwards trajectory for years. No one cares enough to cancel her because she’s not in the public eye enough. That’s why she’s going into podcasting, which will also be a fail. She’s about five years too late. She should have started a fat gurl podcast when she was on the cover of cosmo. How much of her own money do you think she invested into this new project? I’m guessing probably any savings she had.

It’s true. The SJW Crucifixion wouldn’t be any fun for the Woke Mob if the rest of the world doesn’t give a shit about the person. Plenty of targets who aren’t sad, never-was fatties.

 

[CobraPlissken]

44 mins in- Tess has peed in “so many pools”

Spoiler: Nice to know.

They were all marinating in Tess' piss and now they'll know it

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Just a few first thoughts on the the podcast-

Spoiler

Tess and her guest mumble a lot, and have little, inside jokes they murmur which leaves the listener feeling left out of this fun girls’ slumber party. Was I not invited?

and I don’t think this will take off. The only draw to listening is finding little quotes to laugh at and I don’t think I have it in me to listen to long form Tess.
For instance, like others have said, within the first 5 minutes she starts talking about how hard it is to be a mother and bitching about her children. I don’t want to hear about this at my special slumber party!

So far, I haven’t figured out what this Nadia chick does to make the world a better place. They only talk about photo/video shoots, dating cismen and traveling.

28 mins in- Tess claims she had/has an intimacy avoidance issue.
31 mins in- she wants to talk about plus size modeling industry. Tells Nadia she isn’t plus size but isn’t skinny (??) so of course Tess had it harder out there.
44 mins in- Tess has peed in “so many pools”
46 mins in- Tess says if you aren’t looking after yourself you can’t doing anything for others. Explains a lot about the child raising she isn’t doing.

tldr- She can’t keep a conversation, to help she just reads off notes of points to bring up. It’s just a very broken, long interview and my brain hurts listening to it. Only good news is this podcast will be recorded and uploaded to the YouTube channel, it’s more enticing to watch Tess move about than just listen. No video posted yet.

View attachment 1968765

Oh boy, already waiting for the chimp out when her like/dislike ratio isn't all positive.

 

[multiverse]

31 mins in- she wants to talk about plus size modeling industry. Tells Nadia she isn’t plus size but isn’t skinny (??) so of course Tess had it harder out there

Uh. Nadia is most assuredly plus sized. In fact, she is probably an actual size 22, the size Tess still pretends she is when the mood strikes her.

Meet Nadia Aboulhosn: https://www.instagram.com/nadiaaboulhosn/?hl=en

She is a 32 year old clothing designer and influencer. Unlike Tess, she seems to both come from money, and have a talent besides standing around. Not that I dig any of her collections - her main thing seems to be a line of thigh high boots for fats - but she does have a basic competency in a job that won't dissappear as she gets older and fatter. She regularly gets work as a designer for Flabletics and Fashion to Figure (I am assuming that Nadia asked these people to throw Tess a lifeline, and this is how she got her failed capsule collection and her monthly #spon). She also has a long term not fat not terrible looking cis dude fiancé, and regularly travels the world on her own dime just to meet friends and have fun. So basically, she is who Tess wishes she was.


And best of all? Savage x Fenty partners with Nadia - who is a designer rather than an official moddle - which you know burns Tess right up.



I assume Nadia is another toxic, bubble headed narcissist, although those are a dime a dozen in LA. However, she probably isn't farming on cakes to make her rent, so she has that going for her.

Edit: according to Nadia, she wears a 2X in Flabletics. So Tess can call this girl not even fat... but then claims she is but a single clothing size larger than her "not fat not skinny" friend? Doubt.jpg

 

[Local Fed]

Spoiler: Nice to know.

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They were all marinating in Tess' piss and now they'll know it

 

[Water-T]

Oh boy, already waiting for the chimp out when her like/dislike ratio isn't all positive.

Watch Tess disable ratings and comments like a pussy.

 

[SnarkySperg]

How much you wanna bet that she brings these guests on to “talk about how they change the world” and the conversations just keep going back to herself. Also who wrote this bio, herself??
View attachment 1967451

This feels like it's romanticizing this idea of being in a teen chick flick. 'Played silly games until we squealed and whispered our deepest secrets in the dark' is just such a weird way to describe a sleepover, even if that is what you did.

Also, that bio is weird, it seems to be pushing two different themes for the podcast.

It suits someone who hangs around with pedophiles that they have slumber parties...... its like also the troops on here - obsessed with little girl fantasies and activities

has that gender queer moved out from her 4 Yr old bedroom yet? Do they slumber party together and tell each other their deepest secrets or do they keep each other deepest secrets? A bit of private show and no tell perhaps as Tess farts on cakes in the next bedroom and the squeals will drown any suspicious sounds?

Nick needs to get his son. Palm him off to the grandparents if ickynicky is too busy tweaking his nipples and fat fishing.

While I don't want to immediately jump to Olly being a pedophile, I really do get a bad feeling about this whole situation. I really hope the kids are at least safe.

 

[Flawmil]

Tess does an awful job at interviewing her best friend. The interview is scattered all over the place and doesn’t have any flow of conversation. She goes one subject to the next without any segway. She just reads off cue cards whenever she feels bored with what her friend is saying/ brings the conversation back to herself.

In the interview, she obviously is not best friends with this person and doesn’t do any basic research. Here’s some examples...

she says Nadia and her boyfriend have been together for LIKE 600 YEARS. Nadia says “well like 5 years.” I mean that’s a good amount of time but not what I would describe as 600 years.

Tess brings up tiktok challenges to talk about her self? Nadia doesn’t even like tiktok and hasn’t made any videos. Tess talks about her weird silhouette challenge then doesn’t know what to say and says in a weird sexy voice “what are you wearing today”

Tess keeps saying Nadia was the first to do xyz and Nadia keeps correcting her. “You were the first plus size person to create thigh high boots for fat women” Nadia pauses and mentions she wasn’t and Tess glances over and says well first to do an iconic capsule collection.

Tess also says Nadia was the first plus size woman to be on a woman’s magazine which Nadia corrects and says there was a woman before her the year before.

I knew this would be bad but Tess really can’t interview for shit.

 

[multiverse]

Tess does an awful job at interviewing her best friend. The interview is scattered all over the place and doesn’t have any flow of conversation. She goes one subject to the next without any segway. She just reads off cue cards whenever she feels bored with what her friend is saying/ brings the conversation back to herself.

In the interview, she obviously is not best friends with this person and doesn’t do any basic research. Here’s some examples...

she says Nadia and her boyfriend have been together for LIKE 600 YEARS. Nadia says “well like 5 years.” I mean that’s a good amount of time but not what I would describe as 600 years.

Tess brings up tiktok challenges to talk about her self? Nadia doesn’t even like tiktok and hasn’t made any videos. Tess talks about her weird silhouette challenge then doesn’t know what to say and says in a weird sexy voice “what are you wearing today”

Tess keeps saying Nadia was the first to do xyz and Nadia keeps correcting her. “You were the first plus size person to create thigh high boots for fat women” Nadia pauses and mentions she wasn’t and Tess glances over and says well first to do an iconic capsule collection.

Tess also says Nadia was the first plus size woman to be on a woman’s magazine which Nadia corrects and says there was a woman before her the year before.

I knew this would be bad but Tess really can’t interview for shit.

Tess’s agency really went balls to the wall for her, and she failed at every single opportunity. Booked her for a year's worth of jobs? Showed up late, too fat for the outfits, rude, and with no poses. Booked her for tons of daytime TV shows? Boring, can only tak about herself and how being fat is amazing and nothing has ever been her fault; voice is annoying as well. Booked her for a red carpet fashion review? Boring and lazy, eats instead of doing her job, JVN does all the heavy lifting and gets a show out of it. Booked her to design a monthly capsule collection for Penningtons for a year? Nothing sells, they get stuck with ugly outfits on clearance, and they have to book a second catalog model to do her actual work. Get her a book deal, complete with a tour, book signings, and more TV spots? Book doesn't sell, again she is boring and rude at events. The last thing the had on their books for her was her Cosmo cover before parting ways. She publicly calls them a shitty agency, then shows up to the Cosmo shoot too big for most of the outfits.

And that was just her failure to thrive at things her agency got her booked for!

She is a vapid, cruel, petty, dull, self centered, and unlikable person. In addition to that, she has long eaten her way out of any plus sized modeling work. She has no skills or talents. Ryann might still be squeezing a few more jobs and opportunities out of her network, but most people have walked away- even Jolene, her most loyal of hoes.

I think Nadia has been helping Ryann out of pity, but I don't imagine that will last much longer after both that terrible commercial and this awful "interview".

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

There's video and its as bad as you think it is.

 

[Barbarella]

I listened to the podcast and it was as bad as I thought. We learned that, like most death fats, Tess can’t hold her urine in and pees when she laughs or swims. Most of it was not even understandable if you don’t know who the people she talks to are.

 

[multiverse]

Thigh High Boots, Setting Boundaries, and Being a Social Media Queen - Ep 1

Welcome to the first episode of my podcast! On this episode, I sit down with model, designer & creative director, Nadia Aboulhosn, about what it takes to hav...

www.youtube.com

There's video and its as bad as you think it is.

She can't even read from a damn script.

I have the file downloaded but it looks like the Farms is not liking even mid sized video files today. Will try again later.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Thigh High Boots, Setting Boundaries, and Being a Social Media Queen - Ep 1

Welcome to the first episode of my podcast! On this episode, I sit down with model, designer & creative director, Nadia Aboulhosn, about what it takes to hav...

www.youtube.com

There's video and its as bad as you think it is.

Her 'natural' red hair has never looked less natural. Her makeup looks scary and way, way different than her friend.

I cringed within the first thirty seconds, after multiple 'y'alls' in one sentence and uncomfortable giggling.

Didn't Tess freak the fuck out literally like two days ago about someone asking her about her boyfriend, denying it and just acting like a cunt to whoever asked how her kids felt? Also, did she just say her boyfriend said he didn't want to be included on her social media? Interesting.

I was only able to stomach about ten minutes and this doesn't even remotely feel like a slumber party. Even one of those teen chick flick ones. She is stoned as fuck and while I'm not judging her for enjoying some weed in the company of an adult 'friend', she really should not have been casting when she's that stoned because it definitely was detrimental. She's already hard enough to listen to without slurring, giggling at every dumb quip, and losing her train of thought even more frequently than normal.

I can't stomach any more of this right now.

 

[Internet's Boyfriend]

Uh. Nadia is most assuredly plus sized. In fact, she is probably an actual size 22, the size Tess still pretends she is when the mood strikes her.

Meet Nadia Aboulhosn: https://www.instagram.com/nadiaaboulhosn/?hl=en

She is a 32 year old clothing designer and influencer. Unlike Tess, she seems to both come from money, and have a talent besides standing around. Not that I dig any of her collections - her main thing seems to be a line of thigh high boots for fats - but she does have a basic competency in a job that won't dissappear as she gets older and fatter. She regularly gets work as a designer for Flabletics and Fashion to Figure (I am assuming that Nadia asked these people to throw Tess a lifeline, and this is how she got her failed capsule collection and her monthly #spon). She also has a long term not fat not terrible looking cis dude fiancé, and regularly travels the world on her own dime just to meet friends and have fun. So basically, she is who Tess wishes she was.
View attachment 1968913View attachment 1968914

And best of all? Savage x Fenty partners with Nadia - who is a designer rather than an official moddle - which you know burns Tess right up.
View attachment 1968917


I assume Nadia is another toxic, bubble headed narcissist, although those are a dime a dozen in LA. However, she probably isn't farming on cakes to make her rent, so she has that going for her.

Edit: according to Nadia, she wears a 2X in Flabletics. So Tess can call this girl not even fat... but then claims she is but a single clothing size larger than her "not fat not skinny" friend? Doubt.jpg
View attachment 1968933

I'm honestly shocked Tess hasn't ditched her out of jealousy. Maybe she thinks the advantages outweigh the burning hatred she feels.

I bet she totally shit talks about Nadia to other people though.

 

[Free the Pedos]

She asked why someone is being a clown two minutes in. I can't.

While I don't want to immediately jump to Olly being a pedophile, I really do get a bad feeling about this whole situation. I really hope the kids are at least safe.

I don't think s/he is a pedo, but I do think Tess parading caregivers in and out is making Bowie accustomed to uncertainty and a stranger to boundaries.

Booked her for a red carpet fashion review? Boring and lazy, eats instead of doing her job, JVN does all the heavy lifting and gets a show out of it.

Was this when she ate that cake with her face on it? I don't remember that bit.

 

[multiverse]

Was this when she ate that cake with her face on it? I don't remember that bit

Nope, a different time. She was super pregnant with Bowie and E! Online let her run their official Facebook Live of the event. She was supposed to be commentating on the red carpet fashion. Instead, she ate the massive smorgasbord Nikki prepared for his prize piggy while the few people she invited sat around uncomfortably: it almost seemed like she hadn't told the straight couple or her hairdresser beforehand that they were going to be on the show. Fortunately for her, JVN was her hairdresser and he came up with some kind quick quips about the outfits upon her command, while she smirked and acted like a bitch.

A few months later it was announced JVN was on the new Queer Eye show, and she never got another gig with E!

 

[JambledUpWords]

Tess, fuck off. If you had a sensory disorder you sure as fuck wouldn't be doing modeling.

People have tried, she won't let them. To be canceled, you have to allow yourself to be canceled. So far she hasn't.

The sensory disorder thing makes no sense. As far as I’m aware, Tess is fine being at loud parties and seems to not care at all about the texture or taste of her food beyond what normal people think. Even beyond the sensory aspect, she seems to be fine at making eye contact with people (not too much or too little) and I doubt her obsessions are autism level. Autists I know will end up concentrating on things to a point that they’ll forget to eat and sleep, as well as practice basic hygiene. Looking at her, I see no symptoms of autism. If she does have anything, she just has a chronic condition of fat narcissist like Kelly Lenza.

Moving to the canceling thing, I notice that whenever she does face lots of backlash online that she’ll start pandering to whatever group she offended and do it in the most self centered way possible. She’ll either do that or start calling anyone that questions her a bunch of names and spams the clown emojis. For Tess’s own sake, she really shouldn’t involve herself in politics at all and stick to being a fat Instathot. She really isn’t that smart and is so far removed from everyone that she always sounds out of touch.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Clicked play and first thing I see is her trotter.

 

[Miss Misery]

Edit: according to Nadia, she wears a 2X in Flabletics. So Tess can call this girl not even fat... but then claims she is but a single clothing size larger than her "not fat not skinny" friend? Doubt.jpg

An XXL isn't the same as a 2X. And I think she looks more like a 20 squeezing into a 16.

 

[Constellationzero]

View attachment 1968452

I tried to listen to the first full episode of Tess Hambone's new podcast, where she interviews a model named Nadia (who is one of Tess' 390 best friends). I got about 5 minutes in, and that grating, bitchy voice just did me in, I couldn't take it. Tess Hoof Hoven is seriously an unbearable, boring person. I hope someone else out there can give us a full play by play. She said she's still getting used to dating CIS men. Why, bitch? cis men are all you have EVER dated! She then says a few minutes later, and I quote, "I don't want to be a mom." When she asks herself why Cis men are so bad at texting back, I thought to myself- maybe its because you look like this-?

View attachment 1968455

the most revolting quote I heard was
"God gave me all this titty and ass, what good is it if I don't do this TikTok challenge?"

Gee, someone ought to tell Parents Magazine that the GUNT doesn't want to be a mom. Wouldn't want a repeat of them bothering her again for an article.