Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Black ContraPoints]

What the fuck was she thinking with this podcast?

When someone looks closer into Tess, they know what a bitch she is. But most people don't. Her IG seems to serve a shallow wish-fulfillment for fatties (living in LA, getting free shit, indulging in sweets, drinks, Botox, and pot, all under the guise of success and confidence.) They don't want to see that she's an asshole and root for her because they wish they had her fake life. Normal people don't care beyond 'damn that's a big hog, but she's living her life, seems to be doing well, good for her.'

A podcast where all she does is talk puts on display what a nasty bitch she is. She can't hide it. There's nothing else other than gawking about how awful she really looks. This has to be eye opening to anyone who cares enough to listen, and didn't know how insufferable she is. Anyone who wonders why people hate her so much, she's giving them the answer.

I know she's narcissistic so obviously couldn't have that self awareness but come on lady.

 

[Water-T]

I just find it amazing that a woman who abuses filters & camera angles to appear more slender and attractive than she really is just decided that showing off her true visage of greasy skin, saggy udders, and bizarre hooves was an excellent idea.

Perhaps Tess finally realized that her 2015 glory days are long behind her, and is leaning into her new "I'm a gross whale" reality in an attempt to cater to a fat feeder fetish audience? Even Tess has to realize that her daily cake habit has destroyed her face and body to the point that no one will hire her as a legit model anymore, and her only source of income from now on is sitting on cakes for weirdos with cash.

 

[Umaibae]

I got curious as to Tess' weight. So I had a quick search engine and well... here are some interesting finds on the first search page. I searched. How much does Tess Holliday

Someone started a petition!
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My favourite bit perfectly summed up
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First hit on the page- healthymodels and the comments are a great mix of lol you are fat and I don't want to have sex with you. ALR - I am a torrid size 2 slamdunk and Tess is a fat bitch.
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A few size and measurements- check the ALR 52 b bra size on one of them
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Please enjoy the interesting facts section which reads something like I spy my little eye with a retard. I cannot believe they couldn't come up with anything else. Tess is literally that boring.

God, people who constantly squawk about how “thin people are unhealthy, too!!!” are fucking idiots.

Surely the health problems of these hypothetical skinnies isn’t caused by then being a normal fucking weight, no?

“Tess is HEaLthY!!!”

Sure, she’s “healthy” in the sense she doesn’t have AIDS or cancer or an illness you can see with your eyes (besides “obesity”) — but when Tubby Tess drops dead from a stroke or heart attack in 2-3 years, don’t @ me.

 

[maggots]

Reading the YouTube comments then reading Twitter/IG comments about the podcast is quite amazing. I don’t think the people praising her actually listened to the podcast, even if you don’t read between the lines, it was a very boring podcast and Tess has the worst voice in the business. Whoever said she sounds like a parody of the faggiest gay man was spot on.

I personally hope for a few more episodes but the producers of the pod must be shitting themselves reading the YT comments. Maybe they didn’t think it would be this brutal.

That aside, looks like Tess is buying her dream car. Wonder where all this $$$ is coming from?

Spoiler: spot the feeders

 

[Cock wombler]

279lbs and 304 lbs fuck off. Isn't lizzo about 300lbs and tess has never been anywhere near lizzo's size throughout her entire modeling "career"

This pic of the 2 of them together was taken almost 3 years ago and tubs is a hell of a lot wider and hiding half her fat behind her huge arm and the door.

 

[DeadFish]

How long would she last in a famine?

 

[Law]

Wow, Lizzo is tall. I had no idea. I knew Christian Siriano is tiny but he looks extra petite here.
Tess's upper arms look roughly as big as Lizzo's thighs in this pic.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I thought Tess was only 5'2", why are those posts saying she's 5'6"?

 

[Haesindang Park]

Reading the YouTube comments then reading Twitter/IG comments about the podcast is quite amazing. I don’t think the people praising her actually listened to the podcast, even if you don’t read between the lines, it was a very boring podcast and Tess has the worst voice in the business. Whoever said she sounds like a parody of the faggiest gay man was spot on.

I personally hope for a few more episodes but the producers of the pod must be shitting themselves reading the YT comments. Maybe they didn’t think it would be this brutal.

That aside, looks like Tess is buying her dream car. Wonder where all this $$$ is coming from?
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Spoiler: spot the feeders

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She's most likely getting a used truck or van because she can't fit in most vehicles. She can't even fit inside a Jeep for crying out loud!

 

[Reepicheep]

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

There’s significant overlap in the modeling and escorting world, nobody wants to admit it though. Some madam (or another model who is a recruiter) meets a model at a party and tells her there’s a way to make a lot of money discreetly and slips her a business card and tells her to think about it and give her a call sometime if she’s interested. Or some guy who sends his personal assistant out to reach out to some Instathot saying he/she works for someone very important and he’d like to meet with her some evening to discuss a discreet arrangement.

She must be satisfying her feeder(s) because her spending is out of control if she’s getting a new car to boot.

 

[multiverse]

Size 8 feet my ass.
Seriously, size 8 feet (US) on a woman who's 5'5" is pretty small to average. Adding all that weight and two pregnancies will make a woman go up a at least one size --probably two in terms of shoe size. There's no way she had size six feet to begin with.

She is 5'2" at best. Nick was about 5'5" - 5'6" and he was always a few inches taller than her.

She thought if she claimed to be taller, then her appalling (and still fake) measurements wouldn't make people aware that she is a walking boulder.

 

[Constellationzero]

Regarding her podcast: over on twitter there's the scattered "yass queen," and this sad bit of wishful thinking

View attachment 1973331

and her instagram ofc is ass-kissing all the way.
Meanwhile, on the channel for the podcast which is not controlled by Tess, the YouTube ratio is currently 47/96. Whether or not Tess is seething at the lack of interns spamming clown emojis at the haydurs remains to be seen.

For now, here are a few scraps-

First, I don't think we have adequately dragged (pun intended) this terrible promo photo.
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I mean, the photographer did fine, but it is NOT on brand for Tess. She's still trying to project "fat Kardashian, aspirational SJW bad sexy bitch." Imo this photo says "50 y/o once-legendary drag queen half-brother of John Lovitz dies of massive cocaine and hamburger induced heart attack in Queens studio apartment. In lieu of flowers please send donations to the Trevor Project" (Ok but now I'm sad because Ryan Lovitz actually sounds lovely)
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Second, this is vintage, but here's Nick back in the day talking shit about having children. Right around the time he married a woman with a son. Oh, and just openly admitting their "marriage" was for legal reasons. I hope his lawyer bitch-slapped him for that one lol

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Friendly reminder that Tess went on to have a child with this piece of trash. These poor children, both their parents openly hate....well, being parents. I need Parents magazine to hold my hand and explain to me real slowly why the hell this woman was in their rag.

Finally here's Tess looking like a gottdam greaseball again. She just cannot be helped
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Ryann is at a dead heat with Russell Greer for who can be the greasiest gourd. Those poor kids... You know if anyone called out the faggot and the GUNT, they'd just walk it back with "I'm kidding--GAWD!" This kind of thing doesn't go away for them. I hope both boys have someone who they feel they can truly trust.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

View attachment 1974481

I can never get over no matter how good the hair, makeup, stylist and photographer are, she can never do anything more than her ANTM face and pose.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Hello Houston? We are about to try to land Voyager on to the moon, however these craters are bigger than anticipated....

In other news we have found an undiscovered natural oil well which looks deep and bountiful.



I forgot to say how much to ask everyone how much she weighs. I am plumping for near on 500lb. She got those ALR legs and arms + some sad fried eggs.

 

[BIG DADDY]

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Oh wtf? She’s had this profile the whole time and it took this long to get leaked? What site is this? Absolute excellent find in any case.

 

[Haesindang Park]

Hello Houston? We are about to try to land Voyager on to the moon, however these craters are bigger than anticipated....

In other news we have found an undiscovered natural oil well which looks deep and bountiful.

View attachment 1974576

I forgot to say how much to ask everyone how much she weighs. I am plumping for near on 500lb. She got those ALR legs and arms + some sad fried eggs.

Her skin has so much oil, the United States Armed Forces are planning to invade her home!

 

[multiverse]

Oh wtf? She’s had this profile the whole time and it took this long to get leaked? What site is this? Absolute excellent find in any case.

This was her old Model Mayhem profile, not a Fetlife of anything like that. We've known about it from the start of the thread.

 

[Constellationzero]

Her skin has so much oil, Pedophile Biden just issued another EO to shut her face down. He promptly spun around and told a guy in an orange vest who he mistakenly thought was a foreman on the Exxon Valdez (but was in fact his tard wrangler) that he can just get another job.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]