DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Jasper2K]

I've been thinking this myself, he's likely going to take that day off anyway so why the fuck not drive her for once?

He needs to stop bringing up his wife and her "work schedule" everyday multiple times a day. It's getting really suspicious. It's not helping him. Phil seems to be the type of guy where if he gets away with one excuse or lie he will just keep using it until it blows up in his face.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

I've been thinking this myself, he's likely going to take that day off anyway so why the fuck not drive her for once?

The most obvious answer is that he doesn't really care all that much about seeing the ENT since he isn't currently suffering from an ear infection.

However, allow me to speculate for a minute. Phil mentioned that this ENT was about an hour away so a round trip Uber would be prohibitively expensive since he spends all his money on WWE Champions pulls groceries. So why can't Phil drive Khet to work (or have her take an Uber) and then drive himself? Because he can't (or rather won't).

Now this is some old lore so any DSP scholars out there correct me if I'm wrong, but back before the mystical healing powers of the Seattle Air cured his ailing back, I vaguely recall Phil mentioning that he let (i.e. made) Leanna do all of the highway driving. This was because his back could 'seize up' at any moment and if he were driving at high speeds on the highway, he could lose control of his vehicle and kill himself (never mind the fact that such a scenario would also be severely injurious if not lethal at less than highway speeds). Phil is just the type of retard to believe his own nonsense so maybe he's spooked himself and now the thought of driving on the highway gives him anxiety. There is also the possibility that this was just a big lie in the first place and really he's just terrified to drive on the highway because of his traumatic car accident that melted half his face off screwed up his back and he's too embarrassed to admit it. So couldn't Khet just take a day off to drive him? Maybe he's too embarrassed to tell his own wife about this since he no longer has back problems to displace the blame and is just suffering from an irrational phobia.

Yikes. What is this? I know, he begs constantly. But... come on. This is an audio recording posted to Twitter specifically begging for people to turn up tomorrow... so he can have, what, $250 in cash just to spend on his day off (allegedly)? After the week he has had with multiple $200+ streams? This is probably one of the most egregious begs we've seen because he went to the effort take it off stream, and because he has absolutely no begging narrative here.

He said he already paid for that emergency mystery expense that he was 'legally obligated' to pay for.
He had to pay condo dues and his internet bill but has now neglected to mention either of those, so they must be paid - he made more than enough to cover them both over the weekend alone.
He has not mentioned the tax guy presumably because he is trying to save him to beg for the money to pay him after his Twitch paycheck.
And yet here he is, desperate for money to buy stuff. Just stuff. I assume he isn't saying 'groceries' or 'supplies' because he knows people are mocking him for that.

We know obviously that he is burning money as fast as it comes in, but to be going in on this level of begging when he just visibly made well over his normal stream week, and to do it without any clear reason... he's so thirsty for a cash hit that he is actively looking for ways to dig himself deeper. At least when the vest streak was on, he could pimp the streak and not have to resort to begging this unseemly. Jesus Christ, Phil. Put the Champions down.

Can't wait for him to flex on Thursday about whatever local restaurant he so generously decides to support on his day off, as if he wasn't begging for money to keep the lights on two days prior.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

Phil seems to be the type of guy where if he gets away with one excuse or lie he will just keep using it until it blows up in his face.

Hence why he never shuts the fuck up about chargebacks, but mysteriously mentions "muh groceries" less and less.

 

[Gramh]

I wonder if he realizes that his "help me keep the lights on so I can keep bringing you this quality unfiltered content!" scam is an even more debased grift than Alex Jones' crazy shit because at least Alex is hocking overpriced ineffective supplements and shit so at least you're getting something while he waves his Rolex in your face.

 

[Generic_Detractor2021]

I wonder if he realizes that his "help me keep the lights on so I can keep bringing you this quality unfiltered content!" scam is an even more debased grift than Alex Jones' crazy shit because at least Alex is hocking overpriced ineffective supplements and shit so at least you're getting something while he waves his Rolex in your face.

Until DSP's go out and start shooting places up, or credit him after a killing spree, I'm gonna say Alex Jones' scams are worse. DSP is a close second though.

 

[Gramh]

Until DSP's go out and start shooting places up, or credit him after a killing spree, I'm gonna say Alex Jones' scams are worse. DSP is a close second though.

My money is on Derich.

 

[Banned in 49 States]

Didn't it come out of the bankruptcy that she works 20 hours a week or something low like that?
So she works 6 days at week at around 3 and a half hour?

I wonder if Phil is only allowed 1 mommy day a week so it's either go to the scary doctor, or go to the mall and have ice cream.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I missed most of the Divinity stream and completely missed the CoD stream and missed the goldus regarding the ENT appointment. Thankfully based AN1337 pulled through like always, so here's the clip for anyone like me who wants to see Dave's unhinged babble but didn't have the chance to do so live:

The only thing I have to add that hasn't already been said in the thread earlier is that I'll just point to the face of disbelief he made when he said that if he reschedules the next appointment will be in 2 months at the earliest, as if it's somehow not his fault and he's getting punished by those stupid nudniks! Again, he comes across as a manchild who lives in his mommy's basement who doesn't know How the Real World Works™ despite his incessant LARPing that he's a Robust Mature Adult™
Also, to the point that taking an Uber or taxi to the ENT or letting Khet take one would cost hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars. Nigga, you don't have enough pride not to use "JASPER KITTY WOULD STARVE!" or "MY PARENTS WILL DIE OF COVID AND I'LL HAVE TO THROW THEIR CORPSES OUT WHEN THE FLAGELLANT MONK CORPSE COLLECTORS COME!" as a way to attract pitydonations. You don't have enough pride to even make up concrete expenses, just last week you said that you needed money for 2 "unforseen expenses" (won't even hint at what they were and how much of course). Just put a $500 tips goal and call the stream "Pay for my Uber to the ENT stream", none of your paypigs would mind. Or hell, put a $1000 tips goal for the stream, we all know you'd spend it all on WWE Champions anyway.

That is, if the ENT appointment even existed in the first place, if it didn't he had to make up a lie to cover up another lie today. To refresh your memory, he first said his ENT appointment would be in the last week of January, which was postponed to the middle of March. Now that it's the middle of March, it's been retconned to MAYBE in 2 months he'll have an ENT appointment.

I wonder if he realizes that his "help me keep the lights on so I can keep bringing you this quality unfiltered content!" scam is an even more debased grift than Alex Jones' crazy shit because at least Alex is hocking overpriced ineffective supplements and shit so at least you're getting something while he waves his Rolex in your face.

I'm convinced Dave actually believes his own lies, this is the same guy who out of any situation that happens to him thinks he is 0% to blame.

 

[Generic_Detractor2021]

Friday 1st stream $328
Friday 2nd stream $61

Saturday 1st stream $202
Saturday 2nd stream $111

Sunday 1st stream $102
Sunday 2nd stream $101

Monday 1st stream $100
Monday 2nd stream $35

Forward facing numbers show $1,040 in tips between Friday afternoon and Monday night (8 streams). He said during Fridays pre stream that he needed to hit the tips goal every stream between then and Tuesday (10 total streams), which equals $1,000. As you can see, he has ALREADY exceeded this amount. By HIS OWN WORDS, he could take tomorrow off and be fine for his day off, AND cover the bills he cried about. Yet just a couple of hours ago (as well as on his twitter), he made it seem like its all for not if he doesn't hit both goals tomorrow AND get extra support to make up for tonight's $35 stream.

Just remember that you can come to him for honesty, guys.

 

[Frogga]

Any reason why Phil doesn't like Elon Musk?

Streamable Video

Watch this video on Streamable.

streamable.com

 

[Whitegirlsdon'tlikepigs]

I think the horse is the only thing he thinks he can hold over people so he keeps bringer her up. He is also probably getting spurned more by her and knows his losing her grip on the horse and is seeing a lot of similarities to when Panda bailed.

I don't think the horse has galloped off into the sunset yet but she is fucking kicking that gate and making a lot of noise and the pig is doing everything he can think of to calm the her down.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Any reason why Phil doesn't like Elon Musk?

Streamable Video

Watch this video on Streamable.

streamable.com

He makes way more effortless money shitposting and he's a way better troll?

 

[NotValKilmer]

Has anyone told Phil that mature adults can get themselves to the doctor without having their live-in nanny driving them?

He is basically what you get when parents have a autistic kid and try to lie to themselves into believing the child is normal, then push him out of the nest. Now we all get to laugh at a giant retarded baby who can't do anything on his own. He HAS to have someone taking care of him or he might do something stupid ( see pouring grease into the toilet). Hell if Kat wasn't there he might accidentally burn down his house by now.

Just feed him, give him his gin bottle, and let little piggy play on his phone with money other retards have gifted him. That's how you keep him out of trouble and minimize the damage his stupidity can cause.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Any reason why Phil doesn't like Elon Musk?

Streamable Video

Watch this video on Streamable.

streamable.com

He has more money than Dave and is more well-known, it's that simple.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

I missed most of the Divinity stream and completely missed the CoD stream and missed the goldus regarding the ENT appointment. Thankfully based AN1337 pulled through like always, so here's the clip for anyone like me who wants to see Dave's unhinged babble but didn't have the chance to do so live:

The only thing I have to add that hasn't already been said in the thread earlier is that I'll just point to the face of disbelief he made when he said that if he reschedules the next appointment will be in 2 months at the earliest, as if it's somehow not his fault and he's getting punished by those stupid nudniks! Again, he comes across as a manchild who lives in his mommy's basement who doesn't know How the Real World Works™ despite his incessant LARPing that he's a Robust Mature Adult™
Also, to the point that taking an Uber or taxi to the ENT or letting Khet take one would cost hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars. Nigga, you don't have enough pride not to use "JASPER KITTY WOULD STARVE!" or "MY PARENTS WILL DIE OF COVID AND I'LL HAVE TO THROW THEIR CORPSES OUT WHEN THE FLAGELLANT MONK CORPSE COLLECTORS COME!" as a way to attract pitydonations. You don't have enough pride to even make up concrete expenses, just last week you said that you needed money for 2 "unforseen expenses" (won't even hint at what they were and how much of course). Just put a $500 tips goal and call the stream "Pay for my Uber to the ENT stream", none of your paypigs would mind. Or hell, put a $1000 tips goal for the stream, we all know you'd spend it all on WWE Champions anyway.

That is, if the ENT appointment even existed in the first place, if it didn't he had to make up a lie to cover up another lie today. To refresh your memory, he first said his ENT appointment would be in the last week of January, which was postponed to the middle of March. Now that it's the middle of March, it's been retconned to MAYBE in 2 months he'll have an ENT appointment.


I'm convinced Dave actually believes his own lies, this is the same guy who out of any situation that happens to him thinks he is 0% to blame.

A 2 month wait during covid isn't too bad. Bare in mind he could be up sooner, but he had to explain to the doctor about his day off and his potato wife schedule. I swear I can see the doctor rolling his eyes, thinking to himself "It can't be that serious if he can't come because his wife has her day off." and I promise that's exactly what he was thinking because excuses like that allow a doctor to assess how serious the patient is. If you are in pain or worried, you will do what you can to make the pain stop, it's that simple. He blames the hospital for his utterly autistic schedule. I honestly hope he has something serious, I don't even care anymore.

Two things I want to point out.
1.) Katherine is an awful potato wife. She is keeping Phil from going to the doctor, thus possibly risking his health just so she doesn't have to use Uber.
2.) Phil is so cucked that he is risking his own health just so he doesn't upset his wife.

Honestly lads, if you're married to someone that puts anything before your well being and health, you done goofed.

 

[El Jagre]

I know people in this thread have mentioned Scary Perry Caravello in comparison to DSP at times. In case you haven't been made aware, he's started his own streaming channel recently and it always goes as well as you'd expect for the star of Windy City Heat.

Last Friday, Perry called DSP out.

If it's not starting at the right time code, it's 4 minutes 26 seconds.

I haven't really been keeping up with DSP but have people started name dropping Perry on his streams? I would love for that crossover to happen.

EDIT/UPDATE:

I guess this is the stream where it happened. I'm actually kind of excited for Perry.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOinkOink]

1.) Katherine is an awful potato wife.

How’d you rate her as a mom though?

 

[YokuNama]

I missed most of the Divinity stream and completely missed the CoD stream and missed the goldus regarding the ENT appointment. Thankfully based AN1337 pulled through like always, so here's the clip for anyone like me who wants to see Dave's unhinged babble but didn't have the chance to do so live:

Phil: "I waited until the very last day to reschedule my doctors appointment and now I am on a waiting list. NOTHING I CAN DO man. I don't know my wife's schedule so it's impossible for me to press pause and go to the doctor tomorrow."

Fan: "Why does she need the car when her job is a 10 minute walk away?"

Phil's Conscience: "Fuck, they're on to me."

Phil: "GUESS WHAT FUCK FACE!? MAYBE THE STUFF FROM KIWI FARMS THAT I SAID WAS BULLSHIT A YEAR AGO... ACTUALLY WASN'T BULLSHIT UNTIL RECENTLY!?! THOUGHT ABOUT THAT?!?! JUST BECAUSE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY DOCTORS VISIT CHANGE, WIFES WORK SCHEDULE CHANGE, AND I KEEP ASKING YOU FOR MONEY TO PAY FOR MY PERSONAL EMERGENCIES THAT SEEM TO HAPPEN AFTER EVERY SLOW STREAM.. DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN DIG INTO MY LIFE ASSHOLE!!! FUCK OFF BITCH!"

lmaooo this guy is something else. It's amazing everyone in the chat knew the bullshit that was coming out of his mouth but all have cheer and sub badges next to their names...

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

How’d you rate her as a mom though?

Oh mate shockingly awful aswell. Granted she does cook and clean, with questionable quality of course. However, she doesn't help to financially support her son Philip. I also just recently saw a picture of them kissing on the mouth and that's very inappropriate mother and son behaviour. While I understand Philip is special needs, that kind of bond with his mother Katherine is not healthy and it screams Oedipus complex.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Here's a question for the floor:
How do you think Phil's life would have been different if he had come out of the closet after high school? (I assume coming out earlier would have just gotten him beaten up by Basketball-American classmates and/or browbeaten by clerics.)