DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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One thing I don't see anyone saying about our first Phil-in-the-Wild fanfic is that, if true, Kat looking scared every time someone comes to interact with the pig suggests to me that she knows him as a violent person. Not saying he's giving her a black eye every time someone sneezes in the grocery line, but that she has reason to believe his big boy chest thumping has any truth behind it.

She's expecting him to pop off. Does this mean he has in the past? Or does he just spend his whole time with her talking about all the 11 year olds he's pimp slapped in real life? The latter is most likely, but just a possible glimpse into their relationship dynamic.

I doubt that when the whim strikes her, Kat will not hesitate to flee the gout palace, it seems like she's done it a few times with how sketchy her past is. Someone like that is used to people entering and leaving her life fairly easily, even if she's scared of them or even respects them.

Allowing the possibility that the tale is true, it's more likely that Phil has gone on and on about DUH TROLLZ that are going to assassinate him in public or something like that. Combine that with someone like Kat who may or may not be actually autistic (and thus not great socially anyway), and you could easily get someone afraid of a random person coming up and knowing Phil. It's not like he has a bunch of fans regularly walking up and thanking him for what he does.

What time did Phillip post the Astleyclip on Renton time?

Because he is drunk as fuck in that clip. Divorce saga is incoming

9:39 AM PST, and that's one of those AI generated things done with a still image. He just generally looks like dog shit.
 
So I guess this is going to be the precursor to the new saga? the OIC saga? I mean considering the level of set up back since the vest streak I guess it makes sense. It feels so manufactured though, like we could see OIC trying to be the next Tut or trying to paypig hard to be mod. This just feels like he just brute forced that position while Tutankhamunnn felt more organic along with everything else going on.
 

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I would be very surprised if Phil strikes women. The guy is too much of a pussy and I’d even believe that Kat is probably more mentally/physically tough compared to a man who says trolls/detractors won’t derail his stream and then proceeds to talk about them anytime he can and complains that groceries are quite the labor. I think we should take the original post about the supposed sighting(s) with no credibility. It’s one thing to see him once and not want to photograph the pile of shit, but three times? I’d have to contemplate if a higher power hates my guts for me to run into Phil more than once. I’d imagine as little as he showers, he would probably be musty as fuck.

Mr. Needs To Break Away from 11 year old girl before talking shit, and also Mr. Backed The Fuck Out vs. Viscant DEFINITELY hasn't gotten into a single fight in his entire life. He's been overly sheltered and legit thinks his autistic hatchets placed around the house could keep him safe in a fight. Phil's absolutely not a violent person unless he has the upper hand. This is why nobody took the "I would pimp slap the..." etc etc comment as a joke, which he says he meant to be. And when he said it was a joke, all I could think was "Oh, right, that IS a possibility, he DOES try to be funny on ocassion."

Thing is he's just such a piece of shit in general that everyone took it at face value. Phil being a bully wasn't out of character. If someone was to just tell him that a fight was happening and he might as well throw some hands and try to minimize the damage to his gouty, frail, withering body, Phil might throw a couple untrained flails, and he's a big boy, so they might even hurt a little. But his poor stamina combined with his self admitted horrible state, complete lack of training, and absolute cowardice would make him a terrible fighter. He mentioned during the last Ghosts N Ghablins stream that he thought he would die soon-ish due to his habits and (Supposedly former, although he has admitted to enjoying a wide range of drinks) drinking.

Phil is partly scared of leaving the house and meeting people because of that. He knows he's weak. Hell, he was twice Viscant's size and he still flaked on that one. Flaking on Jaha is pretty understandable, but Viscant, trained as he was, could have easily been smothered back then by doughboy Phil with fairly minimal effort if he really tried. Think Peter Griffin vs Black Belt Karate girl. Of course, Viscant would have likely danced around Phil for three rounds straight, but one good blow would be all it took. Weight classes are a thing for a reason. Thing is we're so used to King Phil doling out permabans and twitter blahcks with ease from his safe space, it's hard to reconcile that with real person Phil. Timid, quiet, Soprano Swagger walking Phil who would probably shut down and turn pale if you did so much as shout at him. Of course, if Phil was the dictator of a King Jong Un-like dystopia, he'd be just as much of a piece of shit as he is on stream.

In short: Even if Phil swung at Kat, he would likely catch a pretty bad beating. Kat comes from the foster system, with a mom who locked her sister in a closet because DEMONZ LOL. Phil is a spoiled only child who hasn't had to fight a single time in his life. The very fact that he thought wrasslin' was real well into his 20's is a dead giveaway. Likely the playground snitch and trying to be the teacher's pet, too. I doubt Phil knows how to throw a punch, let alone take one. He could wimpily slap Kat once before she looked at him in disbelief, kicked him in the nuts and stomped on his face for three minutes, and all Phil could do is cry and try to call the cops. It's all over his body language. The Leanna video at the hot dog place showed Phil as an unassuming man who walked with a half slouch and kept his eyes down. The project 7 videos instead show him standing up straight and squaring up. It's just shorthand for "I'm big, so leave me alone." He tries to pose as a tough guy but he really isn't. It's the pretending that makes it worse. There's no shame in not being tough.

Anyway, the Phil fanfics are all obvious bullshit made for a laugh. The one with the four encounters even cheekily implies that Phil never changed his pants in between meetings, and they were PJ pants wore outside. Probably also implying that he neglected to wash. I know it's obvious and it doesn't need saying, but I also see a couple guys took it literally, so there, it's been said.

TL;DR: Phil couldn't be violent if he wanted to and the Phil sightings are fanfic. Happy RTF Wednesday! Must be weird going mallwalking with your second mommy on a different day. I bet Phil's pushing Kat to get Tuesdays off again. I bet Phil pushed Kat to aim for free Tuesdays in the first place.

EDIT: To avoid doubleposting.

Phil is likely to just snort OIC to the chaosrealm. OIC coming out of the shadow as a sort of autistic mastermong is just the nail in the coffin for a dude with such a shaky position to begin with. For starters, nobody really likes him. I figure the most pignotized mahds, Goken maybe, treat him with some cordiality. After all, he is Saving The Pig. So I figure if someone actually believed the Pig needs as much help as he claims, OIC really would seem like a charitable soul and a standup guy.

Problem is not a lot of people believe it. We got a series of positives and negatives from the OIC saga so far and Phil actually could be in hot water if Twitch gave a shit about enforcing their own rules. (Read: They don't and he isn't.) It's just that OIC is a discount King Tut at best. King Tut made the monkey dance and play Street Fighter V, as well as had him giddy with anticipation at Tut showing up to whale the fuck out. Tut really ran the stream for a while and had a lot of clout at wheelchair city. OIC was always regarded as a pest and hasn't forced Phil to play anything that would produce golddust. For fuck's sakes, OIC, if you really wanted to control Phil by throwing your bank account balance at him you wouldn't have let him play literal kid games for four months straight.

Prime Paypig Chilled Machiatto can say whatever he likes, but it's clear as day that this is buyer's remorse at it's finest. He says he hates detractors. No one at DDM's was particularly nasty to him, though there were many gleeful chants of paypig, cuck and the like. He also hates Phil and his chat, apparently. In the end, for OIC, this is just an investment that didn't pan out. He's on his way out of Phil's khammunity, I seriously doubt the man's gonna keep him around after the leaks, and he'd do well to just start chargebacking like a madman if he wants to cut his losses. He's not doxed, so he's got that going for him. Making a clean break should be easy enough.

However, OIC confirming the water breaks are indeed the Whale Signal means that Phil has straight up been feigning distress for cash in a BIG way. It's not just help me feed my cat any more. It's shifted to "A whale is gonna help me feed my cat, so that's covered, but it would be nice if YOU, yes YOU could also help me feed my cat... Then the whale's gonna give me the agreed upon money anyway." It's to quote the man himself, double dippin'. Post bankruptcy Phil has really pushed the limits of what a sleazy conman can do on the internet and Twitch really doesn't give much of a fuck about it. Phil's recent "I'm unkillable" rant about having maxed out luck and being impossible to cancel kinda feels like tempting fate, but he IS pretty lucky. Lucky that no one important gives a fuck about him, too. It IS undeniably the smartest way to beg to maximize profit, but the thing is begging isn't about profit: It's about getting by with the essential minimum, ideally while you get your shit together to no longer depend on begging. If you get something extra, good on you and the guy that facilitated it, but you shouldn't have to get the extra cash by lying your ass off and hiding your income. Phil has even disabled tip notifications, not because of any bullshit claims he's made, but to obscure how much he actually gets. For all we know, he could be getting 300 dahllers every day, and just not tallying them up any more. It wouldn't be the first time he keeps a tip strictly behind the scenes.

OIC also tried to straight up buy a modship from Phil. Tut also tried something similar, asking for a shirt as thanks for his juicy khantributions. This is usually against Twitch guidelines as well, specially if done in exchange for bits. Of course, you can easily be left off on a technicality even if the crime is far sleazier than getting a shirt or a mahdship. Even if a thot was to suck a guy's dick for a million bits, as long as she said it was because she found him attractive, there would be no way to prove it's a lie. By whaling out on subs OIC has made it impossible for Phil to give him anything other than a shout-out without potentially being in trouble.

In the end, Phil's a really good earner and Twitch knows as much. Not really good in sheer volume, but as has been said before, his viewer milk ratio is unsurpassed. Phil nickel and dimes a small audience like nobody else in the website. His constant whining, complaints about fees, taxes, unforeseen consequences, hungry kitty and horse needing accomodations have made him a success story. Yes, Phil IS one of those big schtreemers who shouldn't get your money because there's little guys who need it more.

In reality Phil should have been kicked out of Twitch a million years ago over one of his many, many bannable offenses. As it stands, Phil's practices are harmful and predatory, abusing the good will of a handful of individuals who definitely are worse off after helping Phil out. But you know, Amazon is so large and unstoppable it can afford the bad press, and Twitch's rules are mostly arbitrary and can be summed up as "We will ban you if we feel like it." Namely, using the term "Simp" as an insult is outlawed, when simps are actually hurting themselves by draining their bank account into a thot's who will never touch their pp. You could argue that some good ol' social ridicule could whip these idiots into shape, and that's precisely why we want thot chatrooms to be a safe space, free of judgement or anything that might wake up a hypnotized moron.

This is why Phil rushes to discredit us as conspiracy nutjobs and crazy people with too much free time on their hands. It's not that he really thinks that, he just needs to say it. "But Phil, Actually tracked down your income for many months and according to your bankruptcy papers, he was pretty much on the money, pun intended!"

"Uhhh, WRONG. He's a conspiracy theorist and I have proven him wrong saying right now, with no evidence to support my claim that he is wrong. DEBOONKED."

And for Twitch, that's all it takes. Either disgruntled paypigs of now and then join up and take his ass to court with a class action lawsuit, or nothing will ever happen and Phil will die of a stroke live on screen five to ten years from now. He is a beggar who scams, or a scammer who begs, and what he's doing IS actually ABSOLUTELY ILLEGAL. He is a CRIMINAL who is BREAKING THE LAAWWWW daily. Maybe that's why he uses those terms to attack restreamers and detractors. It really is no different in spirit than claiming you're in a wheelchair, or you have a life threatening disease and need the help. He doesn't even keep it particularly light, frequently implying that his cat will starve, or he will lose the house.

And he will literally take a disabled guy's last 11 dollars without even a hint of doubt. Really, if you actually think about how many wheelchairs he has scammed over the 12 year beggacy, and how much money's he's scammed out of people, you do realize that Phil, who seemingly is not as bad as other lahlcaus on the site, might actually be more harmful. Well, at least he doesn't fuck dogs. But then again, he pucker kisses horses.
 
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Just make an account already, Phil. You know you want to.
Null would have to make him an admin for that to ever happen. Phil refuses to go anywhere online where he can't control the narrative via mass banning/blocking anybody who dares try to speak out against the glorious and ever perfect cult leader of the Darksyde. So, no, he doesn't. He will never make an account here, that's why it's only worthwhile to keep an open invitation to just the paypigs.

So come on, paypigs! Join our cozy little community today! You're even welcome to donate to Null to feel like you've earned your privilege to exist here, as I understand you are all very well conditioned to do so.
 
He would just look like a child with Sotos syndrome going to get the newest Playskool workbench set.
No he won’t get the new Playskool workbench because he has no desire to get his hands dirty (unless jacking off on stream counts?) and he’ll probably have a heart attack the second he thinks about picking up a hammer.
 
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