Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[NoReturn]

Can I just say I love how it's a universal constant that the cocksucker is gayer than the cocksucked?

It's true though. You see all these things like the hijira and muxe being paraded around like the cultures they're from are super-woke and inclusive, but really it's just a "get out of gay free" card when it comes down to it.

Anyway, let's see how our girls are doing:
MayorTomatillo has a boyfriend now (or is this the same person as her boyfriend who "turned evil" two months ago?)
Still no mention of the kid or how she's doing.

Meanwhile, Angie is investigating a mysterious mystery of what the fuck amegaotaku is up to I guess her time here was spent trying to steal our secret techniques.

And in more general news, I found @witchboysexist and #witchboysexist:

update #witchtok #witch #witchboy #transwitch #lgbtwitch #witchboysexist #witchtiktok #fyp #foryoupage
(Ed. note- Despite looking 13, this person is 16)

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

White supremacists can be gay.

Look up Ernest Röhm.

If you're the one doing the penetrating in male on male sex you are less 'bad' than the receiver.

It was the same in Rome.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Just take the L bro.


Imagine if he got a rune tattooed and it got nazified then he got screeched at by random witches when all he wants was
to buy groceries.


Bet you can't curse @NoReturn , her magick knowledge is too great.


Pubes are the best for love spells.


Just send him a video of you playing with your "nsfw toys" while using period blood as lube. That's a pretty effective curse in my experience.


What is the correlation?


The patron of stink bugs is a can of Raid.


Why the eye roll emoji?


With enough astral sex it's bound to happen eventually. Simple logic.


Hera should book microblading appointment.


The thing at the top looks like a dick with a really fat ballsack if that helps.


Why no epsom salt?

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Emoji spells crack me up.
Even if magick was real, all the traditions agree that the results you get is determined by the effort you put in. Effort = results. So why would liking and reblogging some rando's tumblr post work? Go carve you intended effect into a block of wood using a dull knife and then sprinkle it with your blood.

(i'm drunk please forgive any errors)

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Even if there was a specific deity of stink bugs, why would praying to that be thought to have any effect?

Roman pagans didn't pray to every god constantly; they made sacrifices to the twelve Olympians, if that, and their family's lares. You'd only pray to the god of stink bugs if you worked as an exterminator.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Even if there was a specific deity of stink bugs, why would praying to that be thought to have any effect?

Roman pagans didn't pray to every god constantly; they made sacrifices to the twelve Olympians, if that, and their family's lares. You'd only pray to the god of stink bugs if you worked as an exterminator.

Maybe if they were just all over your crops. But even then, you'd just try to propitiate some local farm spirit. You didn't really worship spirits of pestilence; you tried to drive them off.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

What is the correlation?

"My GF is fat and crazy Imma find another hole"

The thing at the top looks like a dick with a really fat ballsack if that helps.

Its code for "2B in a beret"

Why no epsom salt?

Epsom salt sounds like Epstein salt so instead of cleansing it will just force them to sexually assault the person they're obsessed with. Dangerous magic.

 

[Bitch I eat people]

I think because Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate? So it's not "real magical" salt.

 

[Syaoran Li]

"For whom marriage was forbidden" meant already married to someone else.

Just as an aside:
Unlike some other pagans, the Nordics were not gay friendly at all.
I mean to the point of systematically murdering gay men.
That particular prejudice is not unique to Abrahamic faiths.

Not to be "well ackshually", but the Nordics weren't actually anti-gay like a lot of people believe.

That was a later interpretation of Tacitus's works that was promoted by Christian authors centuries later.

The whole "killing gay men and throwing them in bogs" wasn't for the fact they were gay. It was that they neglected their duties in siring a son and were unfaithful to their wives.

It was generally accepted that as long as you topped and were able to tough it out with your wife long enough to father a son, you could be gay as well.

Again, you still had to sire a son as well and you could not bottom to someone of lower social standing than you. Bottoming to a thrall was seen as degenerate, as was infidelity (i.e. neglecting your wife and not having kids)

But a guy fucking one of his male thralls on the side was tolerated so long as he also fucked his wife and got her knocked up too.

There actually was one kind of ancient pagan religion that really was full "no homo" like the Yahwehists were, and it's the Egyptian pagan beliefs. (cue the bouncing and squeaking from woke kangz)

Given that there was a lot of interaction between Pharaonic Egypt and the early Israelites, it's been theorized that the Abrahamic taboos on homosexuality may have been derived from Egyptian paganism.

At the very least, both Yahweh and Osiris didn't care for gays.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

cue the bouncing and squeaking from woke kangz

Actual hoteps tend to be very opposed to homosexuality, from my experience with them.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Actual hoteps tend to be very opposed to homosexuality, from my experience with them.

True, but most of those hoteps tend to identify more with Israel and the Jews than with pagan Egypt. They might borrow some Egyptian aesthetics but they are firmly Yahwehist in their professed beliefs.

The black woke hoteps who shun any Abrahamic views and worship Egyptian deities tend to be "black queer matriarchy" Millennial SJW types.

That said, the latter are often outnumbered by the wannabe Israelite hoteps who span a wider variety of generations and locations.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Not to be "well ackshually", but the Nordics weren't actually anti-gay like a lot of people believe.

That was a later interpretation of Tacitus's works that was promoted by Christian authors centuries later.

The whole "killing gay men and throwing them in bogs" wasn't for the fact they were gay. It was that they neglected their duties in siring a son and were unfaithful to their wives.

It was generally accepted that as long as you topped and were able to tough it out with your wife long enough to father a son, you could be gay as well.

Again, you still had to sire a son as well and you could not bottom to someone of lower social standing than you. Bottoming to a thrall was seen as degenerate, as was infidelity (i.e. neglecting your wife and not having kids)

But a guy fucking one of his male thralls on the side was tolerated so long as he also fucked his wife and got her knocked up too.

There actually was one kind of ancient pagan religion that really was full "no homo" like the Yahwehists were, and it's the Egyptian pagan beliefs. (cue the bouncing and squeaking from woke kangz)

Given that there was a lot of interaction between Pharaonic Egypt and the early Israelites, it's been theorized that the Abrahamic taboos on homosexuality may have been derived from Egyptian paganism.

At the very least, both Yahweh and Osiris didn't care for gays.

You sure know a lot about ancient buttsecks. What was the norse opinion on trannies? I see a lot of posts on tumblr about how "terfs don't go to valhalla" Would Freyja suck girl dick?

 

[Syaoran Li]

You sure know a lot about ancient buttsecks. What was the norse opinion on trannies? I see a lot of posts on tumblr about how "terfs don't go to valhalla"

The Norse didn't give a fuck about trannies since the idea of trannies didn't really exist in ancient times. You may have had the rare wacko with gender dysphoria (Elagabalus is probably the only documented example of one, and he is considered one of the worst and most hated rulers of the ancient world) but there weren't really troons in any ancient society. Even the precious black and Injun societies that the Woke Left idolize only had two genders.

The Wiccan wokesters will try to invoke Loki as proof that Vikings loved trannies and never seem to consider the following....

1. Loki was an evil deity and was basically Norse Satan
2. Loki was a shape-shifter and a divine being. Loki disguising himself as a woman to get knocked up as part of some scheme doesn't make him a troon. It's like saying Zeus was an otherkin because he disguised himself as a swan to pick up chicks that one time.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Elagabalus is probably the only documented example of one, and he is considered one of the worst and most hated rulers of the ancient world

It's worth noting that the only documented example of a troon ruling a country ended up with that troon being killed and chucked into a river after fucking up that country's finances.

 

[NoReturn]

Bet you can't curse @NoReturn , her magick knowledge is too great.

Spoiler: self dox

The patron of stink bugs is a can of Raid.

It's a sign from Xipe Totec! He demands you dress up in someone else's skin and dance around! Just tell your neighbors it's tomato sauce. It's fine.

Again, you still had to sire a son as well and you could not bottom to someone of lower social standing than you.

I've heard this same thing. Similarly a husband could have sex with someone who isn't his wife and vice versa, but it still had to be someone of a lower social status (e.g. a slave).

What was the norse opinion on trannies? I see a lot of posts on tumblr about how "terfs don't go to valhalla" Would Freyja suck girl dick?

There's a theory that Freya and Frigg are the same goddess "split" into "home" and "away" versions of the same original goddess, but she was still absolutely 100% just for women-women.

And here is some Etsy shit:

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

Spoiler: self dox

View attachment 1993132

It's a sign from Xipe Totec! He demands you dress up in someone else's skin and dance around! Just tell your neighbors it's tomato sauce. It's fine.

I've heard this same thing. Similarly a husband could have sex with someone who isn't his wife and vice versa, but it still had to be someone of a lower social status (e.g. a slave).

There's a theory that Freya and Frigg are the same goddess "split" into "home" and "away" versions of the same original goddess, but she was still absolutely 100% just for women-women.

And here is some Etsy shit:
View attachment 1993133
View attachment 1993136
View attachment 1993137
View attachment 1993140
View attachment 1993141

Is that a discount Mara?

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Is that a discount Mara?

At $69.99 it isn't a discount.

 

[Agarathium1066]

And here is some Etsy shit:

View attachment 1993133

The candle works because once you've burned it long enough to make the usual empty ring you'll see the message 'sell bullshit on Etsy'.

Those candles are incredibly ugly, holy hell. How tacky.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

"terfs don't go to valhalla"

Absolute tumblr nonsense.

Norse didn't moralize their afterlife the way Christians do. Valhalla is for those who died boldly in battle, Helheim is for those who didn't. Valhalla is a reward only because Odin needs soldiers. Helheim is not a punishment; it's just a place to dump all the dead until Hel sails Naglfar up to the gates of Asgard and we can get started on Ragnarok.

About the only moral you can draw from the Norse afterlife is that it's best for as many people as possible to die in battle because then Hel will have fewer soldiers on her side and maybe push back the final battle a little longer.

Edit: tl;dr, get used to people you hate, you're probably going to be spending a lot of time fighting them while getting ready for Ragnarok.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Absolute tumblr nonsense.

Norse didn't moralize their afterlife the way Christians do. Valhalla is for those who died boldly in battle, Helheim is for those who didn't. Valhalla is a reward only because Odin needs soldiers. Helheim is not a punishment; it's just a place to dump all the dead until Hel sails Naglfar up to the gates of Asgard and we can get started on Ragnarok.

Edit: tl;dr, get used to people you hate, you're probably going to be spending a lot of time fighting them while getting ready for Ragnarok.

Eternal warfare buttressed by feasting would likely be right up the alley of a number of tumblr-goers. So long as Odin let them do it from a computer.

At least on a personal level I don't know why you'd want to go specifically to Valhalla beyond chest beating projection. Hooray you're perpetually locked in an endless conflict until you and everyone you are now slated to serve get utterly butchered in Ragnarok. Endless struggle, endless opportunities to have your head split only to rise again to repeat it again, endless exhaustion. I can certainly see the appeal for those who Odin often favors, the war hungry and bloodthirsty.

Except every single piece of fantasy writing makes Valhalla into turbo heaven and Helheim into super dishonored hell.