That’s funny because they say your older decades are much happier than your years as a teenager and in your 20’s because you don’t keep people in your life you don’t need. I don’t think this is something someone who uses everyone for clout at almost 40 will ever grow up to understand at this point. But also Tess won’t have to worry about it either way because no way is she living to 70.
Ideally, the older you get, the more you get your own identity and priorities sorted out. It's like a long process of repeated distillations in which you become more fully yourself.
Part of what makes being a teenager so fucking miserable is that your identity is still in flux, and you're still trying to identify your place in the world. So you try to be someone you're not in order to gain approval from other people, which means doing things you don't want to do, and hanging out with people you don't actually like. You're surrounded by adults telling you what you should do, and what you should strive for, and you can't yet come up with a solid reason for not doing or wanting those things because you don't yet have enough experience in the real world.
(Seriously, you couldn't pay me enough to be a teenager again. Not unless I get to take my 50-something brain with me.)
But as you gain that adult experience out in the world, you gradually identify what you actually want from life, what honestly gives you joy, what your values are, what gives meaning to your existence, and what kinds of people and activities are worth your time and energy. And ideally, you learn how to keep moving toward those things, and prune out or leave behind anything that's irrelevant or harmful.
Nobody gets it perfect, and that's okay, but the most miserable goddamned adults are the ones who never get it at all, who remain essentially stuck as teenagers, their identities centered around doing what they think will get them others' approval, admiration, envy, or respect.
Cluster Bs like Tess are doomed to this. They're the ones who are most terrified of aging, only to get stuck in front of the TV all day at age 70, or still consooming needless shit, or still trying to run other people's lives because they've never figured themselves out, never cultivated their own lives, and once their bodies start giving out they have nothing to fall back on--no enduring interests, no real friends, nothing they get up and do every day that feels truly meaningful.
I look at Tess, and I see somebody who is already having a hard time with aging. The older she gets, the less desirable and more irrelevant she will become, which is like Hell for a Narcissist. The lifestyle she desperately shows off on Instagram is pure self-absorbed teenage consoomer fantasy, with lots of fleeting pleasures, but nothing solid or enduring. All you have to do is listen to her podcast to understand that she's never left her teens, mentally or emotionally, which is typical of Cluster Bs.
I don't believe she'll live to 70--though, of all the cows on this forum, I think she stands the best chance of doing so. But if she does, it'll be really interesting (and by "interesting" I mean "a real horrorshow").
