I'm bored and I speak good French so I'll translate these bits of the novel for anyone who gives a shit. Be warned: it contains lots of random-access humour.
”I continued:
’the school council has declared a demand to have poutine in the cafeteria menu once a month. Sadly that has not happened’.
Sighs of discouragement made themselves heard. I waited, but it's always difficult to report bad news. To avoid anyone accusing me of having badly defended our cause, I made myself clear:
’the headmistress has explained to me that the cafeteria has already offered poutine on the menu, some time ago, and the parents' association fought to have it removed. The school council wants to avoid another conflict, after the Fortnite affair’.
Many of my comrades nodded their heads silently. We painfully remember the Fortnite affair. Several weeks ago, a rumour began to circulate that the parents' association wanted to ban all reference to this popular video game in school, to the great displeasure of the students. Rapidly, the school council became the victim of a smear campaign.
The school newspaper discovered that a hoax had been prepared, based around a small anti-Fortnite group, made up of fifth-grade students. But the bad was done. The scars began to heal, and relations quietly began again.
I finished my version of events and ceded the floor to Jessy, the representative of the Environmental Committee. She hammers us for our baccalaureate in...”
”when our homework club was created last year, my father used to think that we would meet up at his flat every Wednesday at two, but I didn't like the idea of inviting my [female] friends to his house. It's always messy and a bit dirty. Also, I know my father loves telling bad jokes to my friends and this annoys Ciel.”
The joke:
”what should you never organise in a submarine?
An open door day!”
”with my father”
”my father could be as cool as my mother if he stopped trying so hard to be cool. Well, maybe because he already was cool, but only because he wants to go back to his youth, fifteen years ago...”
”why my mother is cool:
• she brings us hot drinks when we study
• she lets us play loud music
• she knows the name of the first 386 Pokemon in order
• she has a collection of comics and manga”
”’...you'll be able to play Rimouski within twelve days. Well done, Stéphanie!’
Mrs Fatima congratulated me and suggested to my comrades that they should applaud me, which was really embarassing. It would be better to dress up as a chicken and dance ballet in front of the prime minister!”
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