Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Emoji spell for your depression:



Was this a real thing in ancient greece?


@NoReturn I'll let you handle this one.


I volunteer, as long as the cannibal tribe also destroyed wire hamster wheels.


Reminds me of Pet Sematary.


The innocence of Witch thief is almost endearing.


Just have sex with them in the astral, I heard Harry Potter has a nine incher!



Hmmm I wonder what her job is. . .


Interesting. I wonder if I can find out more about nendsnood's love life. . .


Who is this fiance?





The way she's talking about Lucifer makes it sound like he's her highschool sweetheart.


ATTENTION EVERYONE.
The word "spooky" is now a slur.




This message is for you if it appears during your daily kiwifarms browsing or if you're a cancer, gummy, or library:
You're a faggot.





Period blood! Just spray it in your opponents face, it's the spell equivalent of a tazer.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

That's because it's a plot by the Jews to emasculate the blaq man

But I thought we wuz Jews 'n shieet?

Was this a real thing in ancient greece?

I honestly don't know, but I haven't heard of it before.

If you have a dream where you pray to God and see a statue of St Michael the Archangel, who is invoked against demons, bearing in mind that Catholics have had visions in their dreams before, the obvious conclusion is that you need to stop praying to demons and not that Aphrodite is sending you a message in some weird way.

 

[Agarathium1066]

I honestly don't know, but I haven't heard of it before.

Sacrifices are a regular happening in many, many classic religious ceremonies. Just what is offered will vary on what you have available, lighting fires or candles are also pretty regular. Depending on what was done it could be possible to interpret the 'response' but it was not necessarily based on anything. When offering meat or other foodstuffs if it burned very quickly it was usually seen as being eagerly accepted for example, this is at least my extremely limited knowledge on it.

These things did rub off on Christendom and continued along (a great example being Caine and Abel's story) for a very, very long time.

Would Apollo actually give a shit about someone lighting a candle? ..Eh. Maybe, probably not though. He's got a job and a single candle is unlikely to impress. More likely this person is having a moment of realization that they're doing something hokey and feel confused.

 

[Flexo]

Sacrifices are a regular happening in many, many classic religious ceremonies. Just what is offered will vary on what you have available, lighting fires or candles are also pretty regular. Depending on what was done it could be possible to interpret the 'response' but it was not necessarily based on anything. When offering meat or other foodstuffs if it burned very quickly it was usually seen as being eagerly accepted for example, this is at least my extremely limited knowledge on it.

These things did rub off on Christendom and continued along (a great example being Caine and Abel's story) for a very, very long time.

Would Apollo actually give a shit about someone lighting a candle? ..Eh. Maybe, probably not though. He's got a job and a single candle is unlikely to impress. More likely this person is having a moment of realization that they're doing something hokey and feel confused.

I actually just recently listened to a podcast on this.

Eating With The Gods - The Lord of Spirits | Ancient Faith Ministries

What exactly is worship? What does it do? Fr. Stephen De Young and Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick explore worship in the ancient world, both pagan and Israelite, showing how it all resolves into one act -- sacrifice. And does that mean killing? - An episode of the The Lord of Spirits podcast on...

www.ancientfaith.com

To sum up a deep topic, the essence of sacrifices were the equivalent of hospitality meals. The idea being that the worshippers were inviting the deity to join with them and the same way you would have a guest eat with you and join you in your household. Thus just as you wouldn't serve the worst food you have for a guest, much less if the king or other nobility were visiting you, you didn't want to bring the worst you had to serve the gods. The last thing you would want is for the god to get offended by the service and up and "leave the party" as you might say and reject you.

(Judaism plays a little into this as well though it does have its own unique twist on it - with Christianity then building even further since one of the formative acts in the religion is the Last Supper which is eating with God in the most absolute literal sense.)

 

[NoReturn]

@NoReturn I'll let you handle this one.

"Not spiteful". These kids have no respect for the source material. None. Hell, even her Wikipedia page has a whole section literally titled "Anger Myths".

• The concept of "Aphrodite Areia" exists because she was constantly fucking Ares, the literal embodiment of war. In some cults she was even a female version of Ares himself.
• Aphrodite is responsible for starting the Trojan War because she wanted a stupid apple (Though it's possible the apple Eris threw was actually one of the apples of immortality also seen in Norse mythology, which implies Aphrodite wanted it to stay young)
• Baby-trapped Anchises and told him if he told anyone she'd have Zeus kill him. He told, so Zeus hit him with a thunderbolt.
• Eros is apparently Ares' kid but Aphrodite told Hephestus he was actually his. That'll teach him to get married to her while being disabled.
• Punishes the people she doesn't like with false rape accusations (Hippolytus), bear rape (Polyphonte), incest rape (Halia, Leucippus, Myrrha, Tanais), unwanted marriages (Atalanta), all suffering (Pandora), horse-stompage (Glaucus), being stinky (The entire island of Lemnos), permanent horny (Eos), and zoophilia (Pasiphae).

Not included in the above: She abandoned Priapus to die of exposure when he was born, but this wasn't actually abnormal for the time in the cases of severely deformed babies.

The word "spooky" is now a slur.

This came up in my sphere around Halloween of last year because of this dumb fucking article: The racist history of the word "spook." TL;DR: Baizuo decides something is racist because racists used that word.
"Spook" itself is not racist. Goddamn.

If you have a dream where you pray to God and see a statue of St Michael the Archangel, who is invoked against demons, bearing in mind that Catholics have had visions in their dreams before, the obvious conclusion is that you need to stop praying to demons and not that Aphrodite is sending you a message in some weird way.

"But I don't WANNA worship that god! I want to worship a cool special god!"
Funny how this dream fits the criteria of the kind of thing these people tell each other to watch for as "signs" from their deity, but if it's the Catholic god suddenly their brain short-circuits.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

How can you be nonbinary and lesbian at the same time?


Whyyyy are these people always so creepy?! Either they are trying to have astral sex with daddy or they're having wet dreams about people who don't like them.


More attention whoring from angie. Do you think she's lying about this like when she said that I sent her rape threats?


"Uses my neopronouns against me"
Based.


Pour some cum on a lemon.


How can you say you want karma for misogynyts if you don't know what wlmnbs are?! You're not truly non problematic and are basically molesting innocent transfemme enbies everywhere!


Can someone please translate this for me?


Betting "he" has beef flaps.

It would have been a lot less work to have just talked to hr.


"Fairly attractive"
All bodies are good bodies! #prettyprivelege


You're right. Hades isn't the adorable himbo, @WinchesterPremium is!


It always comes back to period blood, doesn't it?


Little Mix is racist?!


Should've done a chinchilla protection spell instead.

 

[NoReturn]

Congrats on snagging #1666 Fuzzy.

[TikTok]

Neith? Was Artemis too mainstream?

Can someone please translate this for me?

14 year old girl is a normal 14 year old girl.

Spoiler

I heard once that female puberty is indistinguishable from psychosis. Having gone through it myself, I'd believe it.
Psychosis symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Depressed mood
• Sleeping too much or not enough
• Anxiety
• Suspiciousness
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Delusions
• Hallucinations
• Disorganized speech, such as switching topics erratically
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts or actions

It always comes back to period blood, doesn't it?

Shit's not even virgin blood. Virgin blood just means "Has not been used for anything else or altered in any way" (not necessaily "from a virgin") but I still figure "being uterine lining" counts as "being used for something previously".

Should've done a chinchilla protection spell instead.

"I manifested what I asked and not what I wanted." And in doing so, from a magical perspective, just proved you aren't at a point where you should be messing with magic.
[Insert NoReturn's normal disclaimer that magic isn't real here.]
In both the post above, (MayorTomatillo's own contribution notwithstanding) and the one with the astral sex, both women are treating magic as the kind of shit they saw in Disney films: They get something they wish for for free and it goes exactly as they hoped and they live happily ever after.

Spoiler

See, what I need to do is get them to watch Madoka and tell them it's a documentary.

Is this how they live the rest of their lives? Do they just expect things to happen with no effort or payment if they just ask it of the "correct" gods? Did the ones who left their original religion do so because they wanted "better" invisible friends? Do they have trouble distinguishing reality from stories and/or an inability to "read" fiction and legends as allegories?
Tomatillo certainly does, and while we had hope for Angie we all saw how that went.

Anyway, here's my troll toll for the day:

 

[EyelessMC]

View attachment 2000670

Spoiler: You Really Think Demons Would Do That?

To sum up a deep topic, the essence of sacrifices were the equivalent of hospitality meals.

lol I know when I'm hosting a dinner at my place I make sure to set out all the best silverware for my guests, cook the best meal for my neighbors, burn the best baby for Moloch--it's a matter of hospitality, really.

(Judaism plays a little into this as well though it does have its own unique twist on it - with Christianity then building even further since one of the formative acts in the religion is the Last Supper which is eating with God in the most absolute literal sense.)

Spoiler: AKCHUALLY

Thanks for the link. I should give it a listen. Far as I know, though, no one actually fed God anything in the Torah, Nevi'im and Ketuvim like the hospitality idea suggests. Jews burnt offerings not as food but as a means of honoring God and recognizing their sin or to praise God for something good (sin offering or thanksgiving offering). Although there was that one time in the Samson account where God appeared to Samson's parents without them knowing he was God. Being hospitable, they offer to give him something to eat, but he specifically says "I will not eat your food, but if you prepare a burnt offering, offer it to the LORD." So they do, and then suddenly it bursts into flames and he vanishes, leaving them with the realization that they just spoke to God and making them freak out. God's got curious tendencies to surprise people in the bible. They end up happy though.

As for the Last Supper, it's only "literal"--as in physically literal--if we look at the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox perspective, and even then only with a half-mocking eye. They believe there's a spiritual transformation of the bread in your mouth turning into Jesus's flesh and the same for the wine, not a physical one, as if you're eating skin. That said, the entire thing was symbolic from the start anyway so even that idea is a bit kooky.

Point being, the idea of sacrifice seems to me more about give-and-take in most cultures, as in, "I give you my firstborn and I take a good harvest from you." It was a means of the inferior party acquiring something from the superior. The biblical God didn't want things, though. He wanted devotion itself. The sacrifices (aside from the sin offering) were simply a means of practicing that devotion. Perhaps not entirely unique but the focus of it was, and even more unique when you consider that your sacrifice wasn't just a show of submission but also was your surrogate to suffer death for your sin in your stead.

That entire surrogate aspect ties into the central thesis of man's anthropology in the "Abrahamic" religions (Islam's a bit different) but especially in Messianic Prophesy and thus particularly with Christianity and Original Sin. The Lord's Supper is meant to be a humbling remembrance of the ultimate surrogate which supposedly all the previous animal surrogates were foreshadowing. However, in Catholicism and I think East Orthodoxy Christ is literally, in some spiritual sense, re-sacrificed by the power of the priests being "Another Christ" and the whole "Eucharist" thing becomes a literal vessel of Jesus's spirit. As in, the bread isn't Jesus's literal physical flesh but it's actually, literally Jesus's spirit inside. Talk about a mouthful.

TL;DR Whatever view is taken about sacrifice, one thing is for sure: No deity wants our leftovers.

How can you be nonbinary and lesbian at the same time?

By not thinking too hard about anything other than orgasms and breathing.
And boobs.

Whyyyy are these people always so creepy?! Either they are trying to have astral sex with daddy or they're having wet dreams about people who don't like them.

Considering the issues these people have I can understand the former but the latter is just so bizarre. I still can't forget the first time we encountered the witchblr who "accidentally" astral raped her crush.

View attachment 2005810
More attention whoring from angie. Do you think she's lying about this like when she said that I sent her rape threats?

No way. Angie is too out of character here. She's cussing hard, sputtering without double-spacing and her words are far more vitriolic than we usually see from her. If we remember the stuff she briefly mentioned about her past it makes sense. She'd been through a hell of a time so Pushy Nudes guy likely had a worse impression on her than other girls in her position.
This wasn't attention whoring but rather her sincerely venting.

It's a good sign, though. She vented like a normal human being instead of angrily shoving random objects into jars and then fiercely waving it at the moon to power-charge while she screams hexes until she turns blue and passes out.
There could be hope for her if she wasn't a HEART BREAKER
Also yeah, like NoReturn said. Congrats on getting the 666 (plus 1...thousand).

Spoiler

I heard once that female puberty is indistinguishable from psychosis. Having gone through it myself, I'd believe it.
Psychosis symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Depressed mood
• Sleeping too much or not enough
• Anxiety
• Suspiciousness
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Delusions
• Hallucinations
• Disorganized speech, such as switching topics erratically
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts or actions

That's silly. Everything in that list, to a natural degree, is normal for puberty, even in boys. Being hormonal and emotional like that, especially in our generation growing up, I can imag--wait, "hallucinations"?

Is this how they live the rest of their lives? Do they just expect things to happen with no effort or payment if they just ask it of the "correct" gods?

Actually if you replace "gods" here with a particular parent, race or government you basically have most of the human population.

"Aphrodite I been calling yo ass for help for like nine days an' you still ain't answering me. Bitch juss admit that you don't want a nigga to succeed already so I can move on and call Hades for help. That nigga is LIT."

Did the ones who left their original religion do so because they wanted "better" invisible friends? Do they have trouble distinguishing reality from stories and/or an inability to "read" fiction and legends as allegories?
Tomatillo certainly does, and while we had hope for Angie we all saw how that went.

Angie being a backstabber doesn't mean she really believes the hype. She made herself too clear about her view for it to have been a ruse. I still think she's the same inside but the coddling nature of Tumblr is more familiar to her so she flocked back into that unreality. It's part of the problem when people think "trigger warning" things is a good idea; those who need to overcome stressors never will because their growth is retarded by incessant protection and pandering. Angie should've been able to roll with it. She might have if not for her preferring the safer space of Tumblr.

View attachment 2007148

lol That's silly. A mole on your arm doesn't make you a... oh no

Spoiler

 

[Buddy Armstrong]

Read through to make sure any of these modern witches don’t base their practices after hackish interpretations of Practical Kabbalah or other old archived teachings - thankfully haven’t although I’m sure they’re out there. They can keep their Aleister Crowley hodgepodge memery.

 

[EyelessMC]

"Practical Kabbalah"

I'm actually curious what that is, let alone how Witchblr would turn the Zohar into a magic spell book. I mean, aside from some curses that are already kinda known.

 

[Buddy Armstrong]

I'm actually curious what that is, let alone how Witchblr would turn the Zohar into a magic spell book. I mean, aside from some curses that are already kinda known.

13-16th(ish) century interpretation and usage of the Kabbalah as a form of “white magic Judaism“ - was phased out and now not a thing in majority orthodox Jew communities as far as I am concerned. There exists books on the words of powers that can be used in spells and incantations and ritualistic instructions on performing this that are either out of stock or hard to get (Shorshei Hashemot before being easily available had off-hand copies for $3000 or through consulting rabbis guarding the text to “analyze your heart“)

Face-value interpretation of the Kabbalah without years of study seems like a new-ager spirituality thing more than a witch thing - thankfully - although I could imagine a witch getting her hands on some random shifty spirituality book on “extracting power of the Kabbalah“ and badly reciting Hebrew without dedicating herself into the study needed.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Read through to make sure any of these modern witches don’t base their practices after hackish interpretations of Practical Kabbalah or other old archived teachings - thankfully haven’t although I’m sure they’re out there. They can keep their Aleister Crowley hodgepodge memery.

There are some, but mostly it's a no no because kabbalah is "a closed practice". It's only for jewitches.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

As for the Last Supper, it's only "literal"--as in physically literal--if we look at the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox

Some Protestants believe in consubstantiation - ie the Eucharist is both Jesus and bread + wine at the same time.

13-16th(ish) century interpretation and usage of the Kabbalah as a form of “white magic Judaism“ - was phased out and now not a thing in majority orthodox Jew communities as far as I am concerned. There exists books on the words of powers that can be used in spells and incantations and ritualistic instructions on performing this that are either out of stock or hard to get (Shorshei Hashemot before being easily available had off-hand copies for $3000 or through consulting rabbis guarding the text to “analyze your heart“)

Face-value interpretation of the Kabbalah without years of study seems like a new-ager spirituality thing more than a witch thing - thankfully - although I could imagine a witch getting her hands on some random shifty spirituality book on “extracting power of the Kabbalah“ and badly reciting Hebrew without dedicating herself into the study needed.

For what it's worth, gematria is very popular with QAnon boomers.

 

[PunchCat]

AKCHUALLY, etc

It really depends on who you believe in ancient culture/religion scholarship. If you're sympathetic to Abrahamic religions being real, then you're probably going to be more inclined to agree with what @EyelessMC wrote. If not, Jewish religion is a spinoff/fusion of Egyptian and Canaanite religious practices and much of what we recognize as proto-Christian philosophy was back written by Jewish teachers during the Babylonian exile (around the 6th century BC). This would include a reexamining of sacrifices and their potential meaning, hence why many of the minor prophets (Hosea and Micah for example) focus on purity of intent rather than rigid adherence to laws (in short, more in line with @Flexo).

As a completely unrelated side note, thanks to the regulars who keep the updates going here. The Milwaukee Judge story broke me a little and it was very nice to come and laugh at these lovely ladies.

 

[NoReturn]

13-16th(ish) century interpretation and usage of the Kabbalah as a form of “white magic Judaism“ - was phased out and now not a thing in majority orthodox Jew communities as far as I am concerned. There exists books on the words of powers that can be used in spells and incantations and ritualistic instructions on performing this that are either out of stock or hard to get (Shorshei Hashemot before being easily available had off-hand copies for $3000 or through consulting rabbis guarding the text to “analyze your heart“)

Face-value interpretation of the Kabbalah without years of study seems like a new-ager spirituality thing more than a witch thing - thankfully - although I could imagine a witch getting her hands on some random shifty spirituality book on “extracting power of the Kabbalah“ and badly reciting Hebrew without dedicating herself into the study needed.

I'm genuinely curious to learn more about Jewish magic, especially when it comes to words and names. It's been hard to get my hands on that stuff because unlike most of the magical topics I've studied for fun, there aren't a bunch of books on it that you can just find in the library if you choose to spend an afternoon there in the restricted section. They're all in Hebrew and protected by rabbis who don't want dirty bleeder near their man-books.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Proof angie is still reading the thread? I posted yesterday about how she might be lying again and then she says this. Also, there are many cases of women lying about being raped for fame. Hell, it's even a trend on tiktok now. I can't scroll 20 min without hearing about how some bitch's beef flaps got explored without consent. These are just a few, if I archived them all this post would be the size of a novel. @WinchesterPremium should I make a thread on rapetok?

Want a hint on which song it is? It doesn't exist.


@NoReturn do your thing.


I demand that the writer of this comic pay the bills for the psychiatric medications I will need from reading this. Ugh, just imagine one of these witches wearing no underwear on their period to "cleanse he space with divine feminine energy".


A troon goddess?


If you think this is good, just wait for the kinky sex in the astral!


I'm willing to bet that by "cleansing" they don't mean cleaning.


Why would you even want to? She eats babies. Maybe they're trying to get a magickal abortion idk.

 

[Monolith]

I'm actually curious what that is, let alone how Witchblr would turn the Zohar into a magic spell book. I mean, aside from some curses that are already kinda known.

Table of Contents

Jerusalem is builded as a city that is in the public domain. — kingjamesprogramming.tumblr.com (Prologue) BOOK I: GENESIS 1. Dark Satanic Mills (Interlude א: The Cracks In The Sky) 2. Arise To Spiritual Strife (Interlude ב: The Code of the … Continue reading →

unsongbook.com

 

[PunchCat]

I'm genuinely curious to learn more about Jewish magic, especially when it comes to words and names. It's been hard to get my hands on that stuff because unlike most of the magical topics I've studied for fun, there aren't a bunch of books on it that you can just find in the library if you choose to spend an afternoon there in the restricted section. They're all in Hebrew and protected by rabbis who don't want dirty bleeder near their man-books.

A buddy of mine used to be really into that kind of thing and it's mostly about scanning eBay, going to every used bookstore, having a decent bit of cash to burn and it doesn't hurt to have a good eye for something valuable that is under priced (he's sold off his collection over the years and some of those books brought back around 3k USD each). You can find English translations that are actually useful, but it takes a bunch of time and patience and it really helps to have personal connections in the community so that people can give advice and point you in the right direction or let you know if something is for sale.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

If ceremonial "magick" really worked, then Trump could've died multiple times over because of all the "death hexes" "Tumblr witches" tried to cast on Orange Man.

 

[NoReturn]

@NoReturn do your thing.

Spoiler

I'm starting to feel like Edna Mode.

This is basically Athena's whole deal: Arachne - Turned into a spider for dissing Zeus; Medusa - Turned into a Gorgon for being raped in a temple; Marsyas - Killed by Apollo for playing a flute she cursed. The others are also not cool with it. Dionysus had a guy murder-suicide his whole family because the guy wanted to get sober and Dionysus took it as a personal insult.
Again I say, this is just "religious" consumerism. What is this phenomenon writ large?

I demand that the writer of this comic pay the bills for the psychiatric medications I will need from reading this. Ugh, just imagine one of these witches wearing no underwear on their period to "cleanse he space with divine feminine energy".

It's called free bleeding and it's holy.

Spoiler: más