Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

mothman96 said:
Isn't that the grimy fetid jacket he said he'd gotten rid of - "donated back".
ETA:
Looking at it more and the white spot it's his hoodie. Soon that hoodie will be as filthy as his jacket.

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You are 100% right. I wonder if it's ever crossed his mind that maybe a flat bill wigger was wearing that hoodie once while getting some Gen Z love from the ladies.

 
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Trainwreck said:
Not a bus bench, but he's walking south towards the bridges to possibly get out of the rain?
ETA: He wasn't yelling at all, but he had his head on a swivel - checking to see if anyone was watching him. It's got to be exhausting to always be on the lookout for god knows what.
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He looks like a tweaker in his outdoor screaming videos half the time too, probably because he's got to be careful he doesn't start screeching about wanting to fuck young girls where others can hear or he'll:

A. Get his ass beat. The kind that would cause him actual injury, not "fat albert hit me with a baseball bat then I fell and skinned my knee." level.

B. Get the cops called and be kicked out of/banned from another public space and possibly put back on probation.

C. Get the cops called and be arrested.

D. Get shanked by other hobos who are higher in the pecking order, and most likely named Isik.

mothman96 said:
He gets a check every week that he cashes so I doubt he hasn't seen a 20 in a long time.
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If we take him at even remotely face value, the last time we have proof he saw a 20 was when he laid it on the hobo hut bed to show that he was a man of great wealth that should be invited to Gen Z parties.

That was Jan 1, 2021.

20.png
 
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Im gonna call that hoodie "The Young Lion" hoodie, because Lucas, with his sexy long hair, is so very much like a young Jim Morrison, photographed shirtless.

Lucas prowls the asphalt jungle.

His whiskers twitch in the gasoline breeze. He cocks one ear, hearing the voices on the wind laughing.... or cheering? Yes, they're cheering for him.

He raises a leg to pee on a stop sign, marking his territory.

It's a glorious day to be a predator.
 
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MeganDodgedABullet said:
Time for another #WernTimeMachine
looking back on some previous gems.

Why Not Join Me?



QT:-
I was a helper.I helped people out with places to stay,and you know pretty soon i stated noting the girls cos they'd bring their girls over
and then I recognise hey why don't you get out of here and leave the girl..
and they were like "we can leave, we can leave"
and Im like woah I don't care I don't hate you -I just like the girl.We have things called a conversation and she and I get along better than you do perhaps you should leave...and then of course they both leave..because you know the girl likes me but for some reason the guy she leaves with and they don't know about anything I mean and I don't want violence so they just leave and I'm like whatever you didn't really help me at all....
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This is a good one.

"Why don't you leave the girl alone with me? I like her."

And the casual statement that he didn't "want violence."

Sounds to me that he attempted to swoop, or seagull, someone's chick, and was unsuccessful. Haha.
ClownBrew said:
Why don't other Americans ever understand that the word "twat" rhymes with "bat" or "mat"? You don't pronounce it "twott" unless you yourself are one!

Better yet, just let go of trying to sound like the bongs altogether. "Twat" and "wanker" and "bellend" are their thing. It's pretentious as hell to try to latch onto their shit, and then twice as cringey when you inevitably get it wrong.
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Ahem.
Why don't the redcoats understand that the word "twat," which rhymes with "shot," is best used to described puss puss, and not a fool? That's what "twit," which rhymes with "shit," is for. Ya'll mincing ponces don't use "cunt" the right way, either. The redcoat use of profanity and invective is sorely lacking. Faggoty. Another word y'all can't handle. We Muricans just cuss better, and don't need to latch on to anyone's shit, because we're number one.

Come to think of it though, I love what y'all faggots do with "bugger."

Now stand for my national anthem, after which I shall recite the pledge of allegiance.
BowlOfDick said:
It’s only a few months until Lukey is ten years without getting laid.

These videos should all be used as evidence of what zero pussy does to a mf
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What a milestone. What an anniversary. We really need to commemorate Lucas's last encounter with puss puss. I'll start brainstorming.

Ordinarily, mocking a man's lack of sexual success isn't good sport. Lucas has, however, made such an issue out of it that I look forward to joyfully celebrating the beginning of his total poon/puss puss exclusion.
 
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Gaear Grimsrud said:
Another one.

I wouldn't be surprised if they threw his ass out last night. He seemed pretty out of control yesterday.

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Indeed. It doesn't really make sense that he would have stayed out of his own accord. I mean he could have missed the lineup time somehow but I doubt it as thats something he does every day and unless he's drunk off his ass or whatever its not the kind of thing even he would be late for


Just pointing out in the above video in case anyone missed it he literally said 'I get it, some old dudes are like....creepy'

Yes lucas. Yes they are. and you're one of them. The lack of self awareness in that statement is both concerning and hilarious

wenttobermuda said:
Lucas ought to be a little bit more circumspect with the mania and admissions of auditory hallucinations, lest the men with butterfly nets hear him howling and drag him off to Eastern State.
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Indeed. He doesn't seem to consider the fact that all his rantings and ravings about that stuff can be used as evidence in a competency hearing as well his wrangler, parents or whatever finally have enough and want him put away for a good while

wenttobermuda said:
Lucas has been talking a lot to his fellow vagrants, it seems, or else has adopted "the royal we." Perhaps it's the background sarcasm?
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I suspect its the latter. His fellow homeless don't want to hear his looney ranting

wenttobermuda said:
He's also very focused on feeding Gen Z baes cheeseburgers.
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Well that certainly explains what happened to mayor mccheese all those years ago. who knew he ended up on the streets of spokane ranting about telomeres and underage girls after mcdonalds dropped him. though that does explain why mcdonalds got rid of that particular mascot

mothman96 said:
The Freak's latest, posted 6:13 am Spokane time.
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He literally just said 'gen x is the supreme male'

Thats getting dangerously close to saying hes the supreme gentleman

Draxx them Sklounst said:
He is so fixated on "the location" like women are just congregating, alone, at a specific place and ripe for the gropin'
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Its ironically appropriate considering he treats women like real estate. and you know what they say about that - its all about location, location, location. and lucas will never have it

Iseecovidpeople said:
If I remember correctly from his last time at HOC he can’t have his phone with him when he’s inside.
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Was that a permanent thing? Just the other day when he was doing that presidential rant with shareef he was recording it on a phone inside the shelter. Though I don't know if that was actually his or he was using shareefs

Trainwreck said:
Not a bus bench, but he's walking south towards the bridges to possibly get out of the rain?
ETA: He wasn't yelling at all, but he had his head on a swivel - checking to see if anyone was watching him. It's got to be exhausting to always be on the lookout for god knows what.
Click to expand...
He must be getting paranoid as fuck that there are kiwis and such all over the place watching to report on him. Probably gets skittish as fuck when he comes on here and sees pics like that

I'd laugh my ass off if someone got a picture of someone else walking up to him in a situation like that, pointing down the street and saying 'the party is that direction, when you get there ask for nancy and she'll let you in' and then just walking away. The reaction would be priceless

ClownBrew said:
I thought they just wired it onto his card once a month?
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He isn't allowed to get his money that way cause of his inability to handle his money properly. His payee gives him a check every week and he's limited to that, which is what prompts his constant schemes to try and get put on direct deposit, which is one of the reasons he wanted to move out of state at one point, cause he thought that would force him to be allowed a card, not realizing he would just be assigned another payee that did the same thing

wenttobermuda said:
What a milestone. What an anniversary. We really need to commemorate Lucas's last encounter with puss puss. I'll start brainstorming.
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'Pussy free since his zoomer bae's were 3' would be a good slogan for that one

I looked up 'jesus shooting lasers' as lucas claimed and these are what I found:

jesus.jpg
jesus2.jpg
 
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wenttobermuda said:
This is a good one.

"Why don't you leave the girl alone with me? I like her."

And the casual statement that he didn't "want violence."

Sounds to me that he attempted to swoop, or seagull, someone's chick, and was unsuccessful. Haha.

Ahem.
Why don't the redcoats understand that the word "twat," which rhymes with "shot," is best used to described puss puss, and not a fool? That's what "twit," which rhymes with "shit," is for. Ya'll mincing ponces don't use "cunt" the right way, either. The redcoat use of profanity and invective is sorely lacking. Faggoty. Another word y'all can't handle. We Muricans just cuss better, and don't need to latch on to anyone's shit, because we're number one.

Come to think of it though, I love what y'all faggots do with "bugger."

Now stand for my national anthem, after which I shall recite the pledge of allegiance.

What a milestone. What an anniversary. We really need to commemorate Lucas's last encounter with puss puss. I'll start brainstorming.

Ordinarily, mocking a man's lack of sexual success isn't good sport. Lucas has, however, made such an issue out of it that I look forward to joyfully celebrating the beginning of his total poon/puss puss exclusion.
Click to expand...
I have a few ideas for you:
image_6487327 8.JPG

image_6487327 7.JPG
 
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WonderWino said:
Indeed. It doesn't really make sense that he would have stayed out of his own accord. I mean he could have missed the lineup time somehow but I doubt it as thats something he does every day and unless he's drunk off his ass or whatever its not the kind of thing even he would be late for


Just pointing out in the above video in case anyone missed it he literally said 'I get it, some old dudes are like....creepy'

Yes lucas. Yes they are. and you're one of them. The lack of self awareness in that statement is both concerning and hilarious



Indeed. He doesn't seem to consider the fact that all his rantings and ravings about that stuff can be used as evidence in a competency hearing as well his wrangler, parents or whatever finally have enough and want him put away for a good while


I suspect its the latter. His fellow homeless don't want to hear his looney ranting


Well that certainly explains what happened to mayor mccheese all those years ago. who knew he ended up on the streets of spokane ranting about telomeres and underage girls after mcdonalds dropped him. though that does explain why mcdonalds got rid of that particular mascot


He literally just said 'gen x is the supreme male'

Thats getting dangerously close to saying hes the supreme gentleman


Its ironically appropriate considering he treats women like real estate. and you know what they say about that - its all about location, location, location. and lucas will never have it


Was that a permanent thing? Just the other day when he was doing that presidential rant with shareef he was recording it on a phone inside the shelter. Though I don't know if that was actually his or he was using shareefs


He must be getting paranoid as fuck that there are kiwis and such all over the place watching to report on him. Probably gets skittish as fuck when he comes on here and sees pics like that

I'd laugh my ass off if someone got a picture of someone else walking up to him in a situation like that, pointing down the street and saying 'the party is that direction, when you get there ask for nancy and she'll let you in' and then just walking away. The reaction would be priceless


He isn't allowed to get his money that way cause of his inability to handle his money properly. His payee gives him a check every week and he's limited to that, which is what prompts his constant schemes to try and get put on direct deposit, which is one of the reasons he wanted to move out of state at one point, cause he thought that would force him to be allowed a card, not realizing he would just be assigned another payee that did the same thing



'Pussy free since his zoomer bae's were 3' would be a good slogan for that one

I looked up 'jesus shooting lasers' as lucas claimed and these are what I found:

View attachment 2026016 View attachment 2026021
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The Gospel of Thomas is one of the wackier books that was probably not included in the mass market version of the bible for a lot of hilariously good reasons but, alas, Laser Beam Christ Eyes is not among them.

Lucas could have picked any number of crazy af shit from that one and he just...made something up.

Like, c'mon, Lucas, I know you read this thread: Get with the program, start throwing out these actual bits from the Gospel of Thomas then when people fact check you they'll be forced to admit you were right.

I mean, these are some of my favorites:

108. Jesus said, "Whoever drinks from my mouth will become like me; I myself shall become that person, and the hidden things will be revealed to him." <-- Jesus says, "Thou Shalt make out with me, Lucas Werner, best guy in Spokane!"

89. Jesus said, "Why do you wash the outside of the cup? Don't you understand that the one who made the inside is also the one who made the outside?" <-- Jesus would approve of The Wern's lack of hygiene in general.

28. Jesus said, "I took my stand in the midst of the world, and in flesh I appeared to them. I found them all drunk, and I did not find any of them thirsty. My soul ached for the children of humanity, because they are blind in their hearts and do not see, for they came into the world empty, and they also seek to depart from the world empty.

But meanwhile they are drunk. When they shake off their wine, then they will change their ways." <-- The Wern preaching across the street from a bar full of flatbills and zoomers.

(Part of) 22. Jesus said to them, "When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the kingdom]." <--- Pants shittingly crazy rambling.

110. Jesus said, "Let one who has found the world, and has become wealthy, renounce the world." <--Gen Z chicks should be lining up around the block at House of Charity to date us!

75. Jesus said, "There are many standing at the door, but those who are alone will enter the bridal suite." <-- All you have to do is let me have two minutes alone with them, I'll say, "Hi, I'm Lucas, how are you?" and she'll be MINE!

I mean c'mon, tubby, this is the one book of the bible that was written as though someone stuck a straw into your crazy brain and started drinking and you just make up Jesus Laser Eyes??
 
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wenttobermuda said:
What a milestone. What an anniversary. We really need to commemorate Lucas's last encounter with puss puss. I'll start brainstorming.

Ordinarily, mocking a man's lack of sexual success isn't good sport. Lucas has, however, made such an issue out of it that I look forward to joyfully celebrating the beginning of his total poon/puss puss exclusion.
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The fact that he doesn't even consider why people might find him repulsive and he has his nothings my fault attitude about it really kills any sympathy for him.

Even if he were given serious advice he would take it as an exact set of steps that would be guaranteed to work then blame the advice he was given when it isnt in the cards instead of questioning what he did wrong at all
 
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neutral grandpa said:
"Younger dudes are morons, you come out with your confidence and your money thinking thats gonna get the women into you."

Yes, that is exactly what most girls as young as you like are attracted to. so are the young flatbill dudes the morons or are you Lucas? Is denying reality smarter then accepting it?
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Yeahhh, that's exactly the case. 18-24yo "women"* like swagger, bling and the benjamins. It took Dr. Luke until 41 years of age to realize this.

*As one gets older, one realizes they're still really little girls.

Draxx them Sklounst said:
He is so fixated on "the location" like women are just congregating, alone, at a specific place and ripe for the gropin'

Nope.
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IDEA: Explore Spokane on Google Maps. Pick a residential address at random. DM Lucas and give him the address "where the women at". Get your popcorn ready.
 
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Telomere Savalas said:
IDEA: Explore Spokane on Google Maps. Pick a residential address at random. DM Lucas and give him the address "where the women at". Get your popcorn ready.
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As amusing as that could be it also has the potential to go horribly wrong for everyone involved

That said, its interesting that he specifically mentioned having to get a new student id along with the rest of the stuff he 'lost' but then mentioned hes not in school anymore. So I wonder what thats all about. Makes me wonder if he was told he flunked out after making that statement and just never addressed it again cause it makes him look bad
 
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Telomere Savalas said:
IDEA: Explore Spokane on Google Maps. Pick a residential address at random. DM Lucas and give him the address "where the women at". Get your popcorn ready.
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Could just give him the coordinates to the secret underground bae vault out in the middle of nowhere, he'd need to dig for a while to get in but im sure he would eventually get there
 
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