Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aaway]

All joking aside, I had an uncle that had some kinda stroke shit that paralyzed his right half. His dick didn't work right for a year.

Information I learned against my will, but information nonetheless.

What...are the odds that Tammy isn't getting a Jack Attack as often?

Spoiler

I only occasionally come to this thread, sorry if this has been asked to death or debunked!

tammy goes on a "women's retreat" a couple times a year and i think it's obvious what she does on those "retreats"

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Original:

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Jack took a decent looking recipe and Jacked it up again.

While his mixing of the ingredients could have been better, the dolmades looked about as good as you could get from people that haven't made them. But it all falls apart when making the avgolemono sauce. First of all, he butchered the pronunciation but he can barely speak English so there's that, he didn't add any lemon to them as they simmered. And I don't know what he was thinking in making the sauce in that way?

It's supposed to be thicker and a creamy rich eggy kind of sauce. But he doesn't temper it properly, he doesn't thicken it and you're not supposed to just dump it into the pot to finish cooking. You wind up with scrambled egg bits when you do that. But of course Fatty doesn't care so long as food gets to his stomach.

 

[Aaway]

That was just a shitty situation. Since Jack knows his way around YouTube, Charles went to Jack to get him set up with a fishing and fish cooking channel. Shortly thereafter, Jack starts claiming it’s *his* channel, inserts himself into almost every video, and convinces Charles to change his content to something featured around visits to dime-a-dozen strip mall sushi restaurants.

I have no clue how things ended between them, but Jack one day stopped appearing in his videos and Charle’s upload frequency slowly dropped to virtually nothing. Then Jack started getting uppity about how he wasn’t going to help people with their channels anymore.

interestingly enough, charles enabled comments on his videos immediately after jack stopped appearing in them. wouldn't surprise me at all if they had a disagreement over that which led to jack leaving the channel

leave it to jack to have charles do fast food fish sandwich reviews and "sushi wars" videos when his idea was to start a fishing channel. just another excuse for him to eat out more

 

[DontEatThat]

interestingly enough, charles enabled comments on his videos immediately after jack stopped appearing in them. wouldn't surprise me at all if they had a disagreement over that which led to jack leaving the channel

leave it to jack to have charles do fast food fish sandwich reviews and "sushi wars" videos when his idea was to start a fishing channel. just another excuse for him to eat out more

We all know hes so insecure and expects others to be like him so he encouraged Charles to disable comments. Im also thinking hes such a thin skinned bitch that because he appeared on his channel he wanted Charles to disable comments so no one could say any shit about him.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

interestingly enough, charles enabled comments on his videos immediately after jack stopped appearing in them. wouldn't surprise me at all if they had a disagreement over that which led to jack leaving the channel

leave it to jack to have charles do fast food fish sandwich reviews and "sushi wars" videos when his idea was to start a fishing channel. just another excuse for him to eat out more

One thing I will say about Charles is that the food he makes actually looks good. He did a grouper once with a mango salsa that looked incredible.

I've never wanted to make anything that Jack made but that fish that Charles made? Yeah, I wanted that.

 

[stets]

The latest video is pretty much another snoozer.

- Jack wants to make stuffed green leaves, but make them “healthy”. Maybe I’m way off base here, but I don’t think of normal dolmas as being unhealthy. I’d even call them healthy.
- Surprisingly, Jack’s operational definition of making this healthy doesn’t involve adding sticks of butter and heavy cream this time. Just cauliflower rice.
- The last Greek videos were “a hit.” “Not the recipes” but the reaction to them. Confirmation that Jack’s cooking sucks. The metric for a hit is unclear. Comments and likes are turned off, and the views were anemic. The most viewed video of the Greek series didn’t even crack 9K views.
- Jack also mentioned that the Greek videos were a couple of weeks ago. They were in January, and it’s almost April. His sense of time is completely gone.
- Watching Jack smash meat and other ingredients in a bowl with his unloved bare hand is still fucking sticking, especially since he seems to get some kind of weird sexual kick out of it.
- Jack pours in too much keto rice. Oops. Better pull that out with your disgusting hand and throw it on the counter. Oh wait, it was the right amount? Let me scoop that off the counter and throw it back in the bowl.
- Tammy has to roll them up, of course, since Jack is a cripple.
- Jack compares the way the wrapped food looks to feces. We now have two references to human waste in *cooking* videos in less than a month. His brain is fucking gone and he has no filter.
- “It tastes way better than ....”. Jack catches himself. EDIT THIS STUFF OUT YOU FREAK. A 15 second digression on literal shit. Jesus Christ.
- There’s a Jack waddle on 7:40 and you can see how broken his body is. He can’t walk three steps without lurching.
- Jack can’t pronounce either the food or the sauce he’s making. “I don’t know why they’re called that.” Because it’s a different language, Jack.
- Final product doesn’t look terrible. It’d probably be a decent recipe with regular rice. But that’s just because it’s a classic Greek dish that’s been around for probably centuries.
- Jack calls them “fabuloso,” confirming yet again that he has no concept of geography or foreign cultures. Does he really think that a Greek dish is Spanish?

 

[stets]

One thing I will say about Charles is that the food he makes actually looks good. He did a grouper once with a mango salsa that looked incredible.

I've never wanted to make anything that Jack made but that fish that Charles made? Yeah, I wanted that.

Most of the stuff that Charles made looks insanely delicious. If he invested in decent audio and video gear and took a class on filming and editing, he could have a legitimately top notch cooking channel. He could learn a lot by watching the big food youtubers. It’s really sad that Jack essentially ruined YouTube for him.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Mitch nearly died from a virus that Jack said is a hoax.....

So paul the fat racist is Jacks only friend left....

I wouldn’t be surprised at all of anti-mask Jack was an asymptomatic Covid spreader and Mitch caught it from him in “one of their culinary adventures”***



***them going out to eat at a strip mall

 

[Buck Mullet]

- Watching Jack smash meat and other ingredients in a bowl with his unloved bare hand is still fucking sticking, especially since he seems to get some kind of weird sexual kick out of it.

A much more subtle reminder of Jack's unhealthy relationship with food (other than his obvious physical condition) is when after he finished mixing the ingredients, Jack gently pet the meat mixture like you'd affectionately pat a child on the head or a friendly dog. That is so cringy, who does that? "Mmmmmm, good meat..."

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

- Jack calls them “fabuloso,” confirming yet again that he has no concept of geography or foreign cultures. Does he really think that a Greek dish is Spanish?

Well, Peru speaks Spanish and Jack thinks it's in the Middle East, and Greece is just right next door to the Middle East, so close enough.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Lol @ dumping two beaten raw eggs into the pot

True strokey retard move

 

[Acceptable]

hey Jack, tell me you're an uncultured swine without saying you're an uncultured swine.
"you might have to get them online" any middle eastern grocery store has these.
"most restaurants don't serve this" every single middle eastern restaurant has this as an appetizer.
"I don't know why its called that"

 

[JackIsBlack]

All joking aside, I had an uncle that had some kinda stroke shit that paralyzed his right half. His dick didn't work right for a year.

Information I learned against my will, but information nonetheless.

What...are the odds that Tammy isn't getting a Jack Attack as often?

Spoiler

I only occasionally come to this thread, sorry if this has been asked to death or debunked!

I would place a $10000 wager Tammy and Jack haven’t engaged in sexual intercourse in 21 years because 1) their beliefs say to only have sexual relations with the goal of conception, and 2) this faggot wears purple shirts and looks like Grimace’s giant nutsack.

 

[Tingle]

hey Jack, tell me you're an uncultured swine without saying you're an uncultured swine.
"you might have to get them online" any middle eastern grocery store has these.
"most restaurants don't serve this" every single middle eastern restaurant has this as an appetizer.
"I don't know why its called that"

Most regular grocery stores have them. I'm beginning to think Jack on the Go is the only time he actually gets out of the house.

 

[Aaway]

 

[Super Hans]

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This has got to be the most retch inducing thing Jack's ever made. How could he take this pic and not think it looks like a pile of shit in a pool of blood?

 

[rubytintedchix]

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I wonder what terrible and completely incorrectly paired beer he used for the meat this time.

 

[Adamska]

I wonder what terrible and completely incorrectly paired beer he used for the meat this time.

Probably something from Jack Daniels knowing his weird autistic and narcissistic obsession with products that have the name Jack on them.

Pulled pork should never look like a hunk of cinnabar swimming in blood with dead frogs on it. That's probably the worst possible picture he could have picked, but fuck it. It's probably also the only picture Jack took.

 

[Bumwine]

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Jack that's not pulled pork,that's an unholy aborted abomination out of a Shoggoth ass

There is a silver lining in this You know? If someone have to do special FX for a splatter movie,Jack recipes are a great source of ideas on how create revolting and credible mass of flesh and blood on a budget,I concede that

 

[Scented Candle]

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$5 says he used the same Lagunitas IPA he seemingly always has on hand for this recipe as he does in every beer recipe.

Side note, I make a lot of pressure cooker pulled pork and I have never once had it come out that greasy, I'm not even sure how he managed that.