The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Gone Ham]

This is actually one of the most revolting things I've seen.

Spoiler: NSFL Feet

Also holy shit, that room is absolutely disgusting. The dirty laundry everywhere, A LOADED RIFLE next to their bed; it's insanity.

Also, are they really feeding the lamb solid food, as shown by the bowls they have, instead of using a bottle? And the orange puke for a new born doesn't exactly seem like it's a normal thing...

 

[EvaBraunsGhost]

Woah, hang on and rewind...

Paulie, weren't the donations and support given to keep you all safe from the nasty scary Nazi CHUDS?

Funny how now you've made bank, the dangerous determined militias have backed off...almost like it never happened!

As an aside, I'm still shocked nobody thought to wonder why all of a sudden 'the Polis aren't an option for us' when less than a month before, said Tranchers were crowing about how the local Sheriff had given them a 'clean bill of health' after some meanie allegedly reported them for animal abuse - which is it? Feds are your friend, or your foe?

Guess it depends on whether you can grift $'s out of dumbfuck troons or not

Fat Paul celebrates "productivity", which he defines as spending other people's money on unnecessary shit.
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Archive

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Woah, hang on and rewind...

Paulie, weren't the donations and support given to keep you all safe from the nasty scary Nazi CHUDS?

They're going to adopt an old page from the Lou Gags handbook and declare the money is theirs to use any way they see fit after it lands on their bank account.

 

[SIGSEGV]

Funny how now you've made bank, the dangerous determined militias have backed off...almost like it never happened!

We'll be back there tonight with bolt cutters. Every one of us will be armed with tactical tire pumps.

 

[Gone Ham]

Woah, hang on and rewind...

Paulie, weren't the donations and support given to keep you all safe from the nasty scary Nazi CHUDS?

I guess the Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart really does work

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

We'll be back there tonight with bolt cutters. Every one of us will be armed with tactical tire pumps.

I've got the bucket of diarrhea to smear on the Alpaca's flanks.

 

[AnOminous]

Is it me, or does the dude look uncomfortably like Epstein, with the jowls and chin?

Funny how similar the pedosmile and the troon smirk are.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

When the lamb inevitably shits on the floor, how long do you think they'll wait before cleaning it up?

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

Funny how similar the pedosmile and the troon smirk are.

 

[Gone Ham]

When the lamb inevitably shits on the floor, how long do you think they'll wait before cleaning it up?

You're implying that Kevin won't just roll around like a pig in it, and 2 """Girls""" 1 cup it

 

[Chewing Character]

They named the new lamb after a character from a MLP knockoff fighting game,Them's Fighting Herds.

Spoiler

Even when newly born into this world, the animals on the Tranch cannot escape the rampant consumerism.

 

[Ghostse]

You know how birds will abandon their chicks if people have touched them? I bet every other animal will instinctively shun their own young if a troon touches one. They can tell that the grooming has already begun.

This is a myth. It likely started because people would put baby birds found on the ground back into nests, only for the parents to ignore them. This is because if the baby has escaped the nest, its likely a fledgling and the parents are nearby watching, and dialing back care to get the baby to leave the nest and learn to fly.
If its not a fledgling, it is likely because it was pushed out by its larger, stronger siblings (or a cuckoo) in which case they ignore as long as its out of the nest because Darwin is a cold, cold batard.

I’ve seen pet pigs, birds, and even a skunk, but I’ve never seen someone treat a sheep as a house pet

TBF I have seen human interest stories about pet lambs on small hobby farms where the sheep is able to enter a non-carpeted room to say hello to the people

 

[pwnest injun]

Seems germane to mention that testosterone isn't actually linked to aggression. Testosterone is linked to confidence, and confidence is necessary to display outward aggression (as opposed to passive aggression or inward aggression.) Meanwhile, lack of testosterone leads to the opposite of confidence, namely insecurity. Insecurity leads to territoriality and the sort of thin-skinned behavior of the overcompensating.

So, with a troon, we have a hormonal cocktail recipe for a bristley, anxious, anti-social male with a chip on their shoulder and no good outlet for their frustrations.

 

[Hell yeah dude]

They named the new lamb after a character from a MLP knockoff fighting game,Them's Fighting Herds.

Spoiler

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Even when newly born into this world, the animals on the Tranch cannot escape the rampant consumerism.

Correct

 

[LateNightMuffin]

Correct
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how do they know it's a girl? has the lamb told them? they're going to fucking kill the poor lamb by possibly misgendering xir.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I understand farms have different rules but how fucking retarded are you to let an unpottytrained newborn walk around your house? Put the animal back, you're dragging even more shit all over everything from the dirt and feces on its hooves to its own biological functions. I also understand how ungroomed all of them are that they don't care and nothing will happen aside from some cleaner on things messed by the lambs.

I also feel its a bad move to let the lamb near other non-sheep animals while its immune system is new. This feels like exposing grandma to corona to me.

God, Penny really is using the lambs and animals in general as replacements for fufilling relationships with people that won't leave or critique him. He has 2 slaves he doesn't fuck (Remember: Phil got spayed and says he's asexual) and can't find another in bumfuck nowhere ( ) so guess these are his new living emotional support crutch for the next 5 weeks until another animal comes along.

Funny how now you've made bank, the dangerous determined militias have backed off...almost like it never happened!

To be fair, Penny said he was up all night guarding the house. He's still on high alert but everyone is slowly starting to get distracted by shiny new toys.

 

[Gone Ham]

Random sperg, but do they even have a washing machine and dryer? I can't imagine having a washer is good for the power situation, let alone the insane amounts needed for a dryer

 

[Coccxys]

OK, you know how prey animals are pretty good at noticing what is and isn't a predator. Well that poor lamb is now out of its protective heard and in the centre of a group of carnivores. That lamb will be scared to fuck at that scenario. It isn't a cute meeting it's a lamb frozen in fear while the cats weigh up their options.

 

[Prolego]

I wonder how the tranchers are gonna feed the lambs. 30 reddit karma says they'll feed it soy milk or something

According to this wikihow (source, written by a vet btw) you're supposed to get some special drink mix for them.

Trying not to turn this into a farming thread, but the first batch of milk a mother produces after giving birth is especially rich stuff, and you really want the babies to drink it. That goes for all animal species. In the case of sheep, if the mother rejects the lamb, or it doesn't want to feed, then you usually just handmilk and use a feeding tube. Neither require a lot of skill, and you're an expert once you've done it twice. The only thing to beware of with the feeding tube is that you get it in to the stomach, not the lungs. It usually goes that way anyway, but take a listen for breathing before pouring liquid down. I've no idea why they're fucking around with the lambs in the house, because they should be feeding and getting to know their mothers. They look a bit starved too. Baby lambs are scraggy, bony, and really weirdly proportioned, but they usually have a fat tummy because they don't do much else apart from eat. They really don't need to be bathed, blowdried, have their fleece plaited, be painted pink and blue, or any of that weird shit. Cutting your cock off doesn't magically give you that maternal instinct.

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

Random sperg, but do they even have a washing machine and dryer? I can't imagine having a washer is good for the power situation, let alone the insane amounts needed for a dryer

Kinda pointless to wash clothes when you're full of shit anyway.