Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[augment]

Hot Topic blew up because that girl you liked in school began watching Invader Zim and horny teens had to desperately play catch up.

 

[NoReturn]

Hot Topic blew up because that girl you liked in school began watching Invader Zim and horny teens had to desperately play catch up.

And on that note:

 

[Staffy]

ritual of apple consoomerism

https://www.reddit.com/r/Consoom/comments/lbismy/must_consoom_apple/

 

[Mongo0o]

ritual of apple consoomerism
View attachment 2035490

https://www.reddit.com/r/Consoom/comments/lbismy/must_consoom_apple/

I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.

I found this gentleman, an obsessive N64 collector that changes his hair color depending on which color console he likes that week. I’m always curious how these people have money. They’re probably all riding off trust funds or have some cozy Silicon Valley related job.

What they don’t have is testosterone.

 

[AdmiralRenae]

Consoomers seethe

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Apologies if someone already got to this one (didnt see it in my scan through but I was fast) but I was just made aware of it. The sheer desperation of the rational in the video is something to behold.

and how many soyfaces can you spot in this screengrab of just SOME of whats on offer on this channel?

Edit to update 3 hours later: He is now aware his channel is getting negative comments on the video and welcomes comments for his next video:

 

[Local Fed]

Apologies if someone already got to this one (didnt see it in my scan through but I was fast) but I was just made aware of it. The sheer desperation of the rational in the video is something to behold.

and how many soyfaces can you spot in this screengrab of just SOME of whats on offer on this channel?
View attachment 2039966

Within the first 30 seconds:

• shrine dedicated to worthless lazy looking mass produced plastic
• pasty bugman dressing like a 13 year old
• even the clothing that we see is marking the dedication to BRAND
• even does the soyface
• shitty generic tropical house (?) music intro
• generic anime profile picture in the intro

Seriously, are these people made in a lab? Are these people walking psyops? At this point I'm genuinely starting to believe these things.

 

[Mongo0o]

Within the first 30 seconds:

• shrine dedicated to worthless lazy looking mass produced plastic
• pasty bugman dressing like a 13 year old
• even the clothing that we see is marking the dedication to BRAND
• even does the soyface
• shitty generic tropical house (?) music intro
• generic anime profile picture in the intro

Seriously, are these people made in a lab? Are these people walking psyops? At this point I'm genuinely starting to believe these things.

Failed experiments by the Soylent corporation.

 

[melty]

Heartwarming moment of sharing your consoomer weeb identity with your kids. Quality parenting.

Another post where they claim to have bought something because "anxiety". This excuse doesn't work when every basic bitch claims it.

I firmly believe that consooming increases anxiety. It creates unnatural visual clutter, and every little object you own takes up some kind of mental space in your head. Everything is another item that needs to be dusted, or moved when you move, that causes you sadness when it breaks, or guilt when you don't use it as much as you thought. There's a reason why vacation resorts, spas and other areas for people to relax aren't lined with shelves full of trinkets, lots of visual clutter isn't relaxing. Of course people with 100 stuffed animals, 300 outfits, 200 shoes, and 50 lipsticks have "anxiety", they wake up in visual chaos and have to choose between hundreds of different things just to get dressed to leave the house...

 

[Mepsi Pax]

I found this gentleman, an obsessive N64 collector that changes his hair color depending on which color console he likes that week. I’m always curious how these people have money. They’re probably all riding off trust funds or have some cozy Silicon Valley related job.

That is uncanny valley shit, I have never seen a non-albino with that skin tone. Motherfucker is like a cave worm. There is no way he ever sees sunlight. The dangerhair isn't helping either, having vivid hair on zero-chroma skin just makes you look artificial.

Seriously, are these people made in a lab? Are these people walking psyops? At this point I'm genuinely starting to believe these things.

Consumerism destroys personal identity... easy to extrapolate from there. It's more than a little scary.

 

[NoReturn]

Within the first 30 seconds:

• shrine dedicated to worthless lazy looking mass produced plastic
• pasty bugman dressing like a 13 year old
• even the clothing that we see is marking the dedication to BRAND
• even does the soyface
• shitty generic tropical house (?) music intro
• generic anime profile picture in the intro

Seriously, are these people made in a lab? Are these people walking psyops? At this point I'm genuinely starting to believe these things.

Failed experiments by the Soylent corporation.

Monarch mind control, men's edition

 

[NoReturn]

Apologies if someone already got to this one (didnt see it in my scan through but I was fast) but I was just made aware of it. The sheer desperation of the rational in the video is something to behold.

and how many soyfaces can you spot in this screengrab of just SOME of whats on offer on this channel?
View attachment 2039966

His "reasons"

1. It gives you something to do
2. It "saves you money" (He admits he's spent over $10,000 on Funkos) because "When you're bored you spend money. It's just what happens, but if you go Pop hunting and don't find anything, then you don't spend money." and "It might get me a down payment on a house if I sell these boys."
3. The pop community is "amazing"
4. It keeps you away from "bad things"
5. The thrill of finding a chase. (Apparently a "chase" is a varient version of a normal figure)
6. "It's a very good investment", "It's almost like a bank account for your money"
7. It teaches patience

 

[Criterion Rat]

His "reasons"

1. It gives you something to do
2. It "saves you money" (He admits he's spent over $10,000 on Funkos) because "When you're bored you spend money. It's just what happens, but if you go Pop hunting and don't find anything, then you don't spend money." and "It might get me a down payment on a house if I sell these boys."
3. The pop community is "amazing"
4. It keeps you away from "bad things"
5. The thrill of finding a chase. (Apparently a "chase" is a varient version of a normal figure)
6. "It's a very good investment", "It's almost like a bank account for your money"
7. It teaches patience

I'm impressed that you were able to translate his autistic sperging to English. I legitimately could not understand what the fuck he was trying to say for most of the video.

His point about Funko's possibly getting him a down payment on a house is a brilliant example of consoomer delusion. If you want to live your life surrounded by mountains of plastic shit at least be honest with yourself instead of living in the delusion that your addiction will be worth anything in the long run.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

His "reasons"

1. It gives you something to do
2. It "saves you money" (He admits he's spent over $10,000 on Funkos) because "When you're bored you spend money. It's just what happens, but if you go Pop hunting and don't find anything, then you don't spend money." and "It might get me a down payment on a house if I sell these boys."
3. The pop community is "amazing"
4. It keeps you away from "bad things"
5. The thrill of finding a chase. (Apparently a "chase" is a varient version of a normal figure)
6. "It's a very good investment", "It's almost like a bank account for your money"
7. It teaches patience

Something that occurs to me...

Funkos are so lame on their own merit, so utterly devoid of practical purpose or artistic merit, that they cannot even be said to be for children. Children demand action figures that actually resemble shit and can do shit and be posable or have swappable outfits. Funkos cannot do that. They cannot do *anything*. They must, therefore, be designed specifically for adults. As something merely to hoard with no other purpose. A child cannot use a funko. Children are too utilitarian for this to be a product for them.

Its literally designed for adults. Specifically adult-children. Because only a stunted kidult could possibly see merit in such a product.
I don't know if everyone but me already figured this out, but I just realized it myself and the revelation has sent me reeling in horror.

 

[h0387]

Here is an Australian Goosebumps fan that has filled two entire bedrooms with his hoard:

Spoiler: Soyface

Spoiler: More videos

 

[An Account]

Here is an Australian Goosebumps fan that has filled two entire bedrooms with his hoard:

Spoiler: Soyface

View attachment 2041025

Spoiler: More videos

Goosebumps, really? I get that those are probably the height of his reading level but come on. Something about it being this practically dead franchise just makes it weirder than your usual funko pop and marvel connoisseur.

 

[melty]

Goosebumps guy is kind of impressive I have to admit, but what a horrible franchise to collect.
I watched the rare item video and he mentions getting "crazy offers" on some of these things, so there are more of them out there? The more you know.

 

[Pinochet Was Right]

God I'd love to watch a funkopop bugman's house catch fire and then watch him mourn the pop boxes more than the house.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Here is an Australian Goosebumps fan that has filled two entire bedrooms with his hoard:

Spoiler: Soyface

View attachment 2041025

Spoiler: More videos

Everytime I think of a Goosebumps book, I imagine a tattered book with pages stained by substances far scarier than the story.

Seeing them in mint condition feels wrong.

 

[Dave.]

Holy shit