There's still the side of me that wants to take the Blue Pill.
I think back to my Elementary school days in the 1990s and early 2000s, which while I struggled with school a lot, I do remember the comforting feeling I felt as my diverse little classroom would sit around to watch Reading Rainbow or whatever, the feeling of putting trust into government authority and trusting that at the end of the day they have everyone's best interests in mind.
I know what they've done to my generation, the millennial generation, they infantilized us, to some degree we're all just scared little children longing for the days when we had some sort of "adult" authority to trust in ie our teachers and school staff, we're all trapped to some degree in our elementary school classrooms.
But my best friend in those days was black, it just doesn't feel right to me to give into hatred of blacks completely.