Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Mike R said:
That must be a lot of weight on your shoulders to have to think about every day. You're probably looking for a guy to yell and scream at you and call you names.
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If only I knew an eligible prince in Spokane, whose family held court in the esteemed Elk Kingdom, and whose voice carried far and wide as his spittle flecked his phone during mighty rants...but alas, I’m just a classist without a Wern.
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
Lets not give attention to little tryhards like this, and that idiot who's made lucas "parodies" (just him reading Lucas vid scripts verbatim, with his mom's wig on backwards) on Youtube.

Attention's what they want.
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It’d be kind of funny to see him address something like this as a serious thing but knowing Lucas his one track mind will probably ignore it if it’s not a zoomer
 
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Hi guys, I haven't been to this thread for a little so hopefully someone can fill me in; did anyone ever manage to figure out how it's possible for anything to be such a disgraceful waste of life and why the powers that be have allowed this craven mongoloid to continue running loose among the populace rather than luring it into a cage using poorly cooked food and a blow up doll so they can take it away to a lab for experimentation and disposal in the hopes of preventing anything like it from existing ever again? Because every time I look at Wern's bloated face and dark soulless eyes I can't help but get the feeling we're being mocked somehow. Thanks.

AbraCadaver said:
I have male friends who were shocked when I told them about all the gross, threatening things I’ve been catcalled with, because they said they didn’t think that happened to me at all...to ANY of their female friends. And when asked why, they say “well, I’ve never ever seen it happen to them.”

And you just gotta kinda hold back from slapping them and saying, “of course you don’t, men don’t creep on a girl who is with a man at the time.” It doesn’t occur to men that these things happen only when they aren’t there to witness it, because there aren’t many comparable things for that. Everyone witnesses car crashes or a robbery or a fire. Terrible things that only specifically happen when you aren’t around get sort of overlooked.
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What's up gurl, so I heard you like farming kiwis. Well I've got something else fuzzy and full of seed I'd like to plant if you catch my drift ;)...you mean gross stuff like that?

For real though, I think that's one of the reasons predators are so aggravating from a male perspective; even if you don't care much about being chivalrous or w/e, just the fact they're such puddles of slime that they'll slink away the second they face any possibility of confrontation is enough to trigger a natural reflex that makes you want get a hold of them and hurt them.
 
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klickitat said:
That underwear comment is definitely the thumbnail for tonight's video.
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I want to see a Lucas commercial for fruit of the loom, or something.

"Yep, they fit great, they're comfortable, and they're a great poop catcher, too!"

(Voice Over Announcer)

"Fruit of the Loom. It catches the fruit that falls out of your loom."
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
I want to see a Lucas commercial for fruit of the loom, or something.

"Yep, they fit great, they're comfortable, and they're a great poop catcher, too!"

(Voice Over Announcer)

"Fruit of the Loom. It catches the fruit that falls out of your loom."
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If lucas did such a commercial it would likely be him trying to sell zoomer underwear under the name 'fruit of the womb'
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
Lets not give attention to little tryhards like this, and that idiot who's made lucas "parodies" (just him reading Lucas vid scripts verbatim, with his mom's wig on backwards) on Youtube.

Attention's what they want.
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Does dreamchaser fall into that category too? The guy with the wig is so ridiculous it is almost funny.
 
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Neko GF said:
GEN Z AREN'T KANGZ & QEENZ 'N SHEEIIT
Archive:
View attachment 2060956
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He keeps using the phrase "lining up at homeless shelters", I think he actually expects it to happen! He actually says in this video that college girls should be going to homeless shelters looking for dates! And the fact that they don't makes them bigots and money-grubbers. For fuck's sake, he's so clueless as to how people actually start relationships, he's like an alien from Planet Incel. You have to meet somebody. Through a mutual friend, through work or school, through a hobby... all things Lucas doesn't have in his life. No, they need to come find him, in a shelter or under a bridge or at Motel 6 or Eastern State or wherever he happens to be. I guess they're supposed to stumble across one of his videos and find his huge head and belligerent shouting sexy. Then they just need to get all dolled up and go unaccompanied to various downtown homeless shelters until they find him. Jesus fucking christ

He also says in this one that the other guys at the shelter don't have girlfriends either, as if this proves that there's this rampant "classism". But god damn man, there's a difference between being broke or poor and being homeless. If you're out on the streets, you fundamentally don't have your life together, your circumstances are probably too chaotic to sustain a long-term relationship anyway. There are a ton of good reasons besides classism why you wouldn't date a homeless guy. Many of them are addicted to hard drugs, or mentally ill. I suppose it's ableist that girls don't line up at psych wards and prisons either. Also, do the other guys at the shelters even care that they don't have girlfriends? I'm sure most of them are more focused on trying to get a job, housing, a car, healthcare, get sober, or whatever, and then worry about getting pussy once their lives are a little more stable. Lucas doesn't give a fuck about any of that and thinks that any women who might make those things a requirement (and remember, he really wants kids), are disgusting elitist bigots who only care about money. How fucking dare they have any standards at all!
 
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Uberpenguin said:
What's up gurl, so I heard you like farming kiwis. Well I've got something else fuzzy and full of seed I'd like to plant if you catch my drift ;)...you mean gross stuff like that?
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Instantly a better offer than anything Lucas has ever said in his life. Do you have a car and a credit card? Let’s go make some telomere-deficient babies that won’t grow up to respect their elders.

also before I forget, please remember that Renowned Woman Respecter Lucas Werner recently told us that his future girlfriends should have the following:

a) “babydoll voices”
b) “fuck-me bodies”
c) an appreciation for how funny Lucas is.

So to recap, a little-girl infantilized demeanour, an idealized and overly-sexualized appearance, and the ability to flatter Lucas and stroke his ego. Mister YOUR MAN DOESN’T RESPECT YOU wants a squeaky babyvoiced bimbo who will make him feel smart.

All the smartest of the Smart Pretty Interesting Girls are squeaky big-titty bimbos who laugh at men’s non-jokes and call them Daddy.

I feel like that’s the kind of woman you would tire of shortly after finishing your masturbation fantasy about said woman, and yet Lucas is entering his 40th year of pursuing Squeaky Jugtits to the ends of the earth.

He really does reveal more and more everyday that is his ideal woman is a barely-legal little girl with a silicone-enhanced centerfold body and two forks short of a picnic in the head, who will both spread her legs AND make Lucas feel smart and interesting. It’s been mentioned before by asute Wernologists that Lucas has a (well-founded) fear of being seen as dumb, likely because he IS dumb and was behind the rest of the class in school for most of his life, struggling with simple maths while the other children moved onto algebra.

I’ve long assumed he wants a young girl partially because he wants someone young enough to make him look and feel smarter by comparison. His brain is stuck at a young teen’s level and anything beyond that is too intelligent for him to keep pace with. “Aggressive, mean women” to him are women with opinions, women who will tell him to fuck off rather than freeze up in apprehension as he creeps on them...and importantly, women who are more intelligent than him. Lucas hates them the most. They are Bad Women who don’t respect him. He talks down with “baby girl” and “honey” and “sweetheart” to try and position himself above them intellectually.

Sadly, most plastic cutlery can outwit Lucas Werner.
 
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Cnaiur urs Skiotha said:
He keeps using the phrase "lining up at homeless shelters", I think he actually expects it to happen! He actually says in this video that college girls should be going to homeless shelters looking for dates! And the fact that they don't makes them bigots and money-grubbers. For fuck's sake, he's so clueless as to how people actually start relationships, he's like an alien from Planet Incel. You have to meet somebody. Through a mutual friend, through work or school, through a hobby... all things Lucas doesn't have in his life. No, they need to come find him, in a shelter or under a bridge or at Motel 6 or Eastern State or wherever he happens to be. I guess they're supposed to stumble across one of his videos and find his huge head and belligerent shouting sexy. Then they just need to get all dolled up and go unaccompanied to various downtown homeless shelters until they find him. Jesus fucking christ

He also says in this one that the other guys at the shelter don't have girlfriends either, as if this proves that there's this rampant "classism". But god damn man, there's a difference between being broke or poor and being homeless. If you're out on the streets, you fundamentally don't have your life together, your circumstances are probably too chaotic to sustain a long-term relationship anyway. There are a ton of good reasons besides classism why you wouldn't date a homeless guy. Many of them are addicted to hard drugs, or mentally ill. I suppose it's ableist that girls don't line up at psych wards and prisons either. Also, do the other guys at the shelters even care that they don't have girlfriends? I'm sure most of them are more focused on trying to get a job, housing, a car, healthcare, get sober, or whatever, and then worry about getting pussy once their lives are a little more stable. Lucas doesn't give a fuck about any of that and thinks that any women who might make those things a requirement (and remember, he really wants kids), are disgusting elitist bigots who only care about money. How fucking dare they have any standards at all!
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Women dont even literally "line up" for rich guys either. There's no queue around the block outside banks or frat houses of chicks looking for rich dick. They only literally line up on The Bachelor and the like.
 
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AbraCadaver said:
Instantly a better offer than anything Lucas has ever said in his life. Do you have a car and a credit card? Let’s go make some telomere-deficient babies that won’t grow up to respect their elders.
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Oh hell yeah, you guys hear that? Swooping in to pick up the baes as usual.
I'll be by with my other girlfriends to pick you up later. I won't give you any food though, only true gentlemen offer to feed women, and everyone knows the only thing us younger men respect less than guys aged 40 and over it's women. You can tell because we don't hold their hands while walking all over town.

Cnaiur urs Skiotha said:
He keeps using the phrase "lining up at homeless shelters", I think he actually expects it to happen! He actually says in this video that college girls should be going to homeless shelters looking for dates! And the fact that they don't makes them bigots and money-grubbers. For fuck's sake, he's so clueless as to how people actually start relationships, he's like an alien from Planet Incel. You have to meet somebody. Through a mutual friend, through work or school, through a hobby... all things Lucas doesn't have in his life. No, they need to come find him, in a shelter or under a bridge or at Motel 6 or Eastern State or wherever he happens to be. I guess they're supposed to stumble across one of his videos and find his huge head and belligerent shouting sexy. Then they just need to get all dolled up and go unaccompanied to various downtown homeless shelters until they find him. Jesus fucking christ
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That's always a bizarre feature of incels. They spend enormous amounts of time formulating reasons they aren't getting laid ranging from masturbation and not working out (reasonable, being a tubby coomer certainly isn't going to help the situation) all the way up to the fact they aren't 6 foot tall square jawed millionaires, but they never seem to be willing to come to terms with the fact that the primary reason they're alone is probably because they don't ever actually go out and interact with anyone. Nobody's going to kick down your door and drag you out on a date.

Fact is as stated many times in this thread even a fat 40 year old homeless guy could almost certainly find some really needy young woman in her early 20s with daddy issues who'd be willing to bang him, but the second Lucas is face to face with another actual human being he cowers like a scared child.
That's why with incel types like Lucas, even if a woman did kick down their door I'm skeptical as to whether they'd be able to deliver anyways. They'd probably finish before even making it in, mumble some excuse, then keep jerking off like usual while telling everyone else the fact he can't perform is her fault for some reason.
 
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Uberpenguin said:
Oh hell yeah, you guys hear that? Swooping in to pick up the baes as usual.
I'll be by with my other girlfriends to pick you up later. I won't give you any food though, only true gentlemen offer to feed women, and everyone knows the only thing us younger men respect less than guys aged 40 and over it's women. You can tell because we don't hold their hands while walking all over town.


That's always a bizarre feature of incels. They spend enormous amounts of time formulating reasons they aren't getting laid ranging from masturbation and not working out (reasonable, being a tubby coomer certainly isn't going to help the situation) all the way up to the fact they aren't 6 foot tall square jawed millionaires, but they never seem to be willing to come to terms with the fact that the primary reason they're alone is probably because they don't ever actually go out and interact with anyone. Nobody's going to kick down your door and drag you out on a date.

Fact is as stated many times in this thread even a fat 40 year old homeless guy could almost certainly find some really needy young woman in her early 20s with daddy issues who'd be willing to bang him, but the second Lucas is face to face with another actual human being he cowers like a scared child.
That's why with incel types like Lucas, even if a woman did kick down their door I'm skeptical as to whether they'd be able to deliver anyways. They'd probably finish before even making it in, mumble some excuse, then keep jerking off like usual while telling everyone else the fact he can't perform is her fault for some reason.
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Agreed.

He mentioned in one of the geek room podcasts, that Isaac DID in fact introduce him to a girl, I think Lucas said her name was Terri?

Surely, this should be Isaac fulfilling "his end of the deal" as lucas sees it?

Why didn't Lucas seal the deal with Terri?

And the answer is because, as you said, the problems are always someone else's, not lucas's, and even if he got an army of GenZ baes lined up outside the shelter, he would find reasons to turn them down, either because they weren't wearing masks, because they look like they might have aids, or other things.

Lucas is unsuccessful because of himself, not because of anybody else.
 
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