Orbiter MASSIVE SHOUTOUT TO Derich Ip / Koom and the Gang - [NSFW] Cum meet a retarded Asian, his any% speedrun to prison, and the retarded whores they meet along the way

[gh0stzero]

I am terrified to know how you are so well-versed on the postings of whatever that site is, my friend.

long story short me and @Sparkletor 2.0 are banned from the pc in the reehouse

 

[An Avenging Bird]

long story short me and @Sparkletor 2.0 are banned from the pc in the reehouse

Not to be redundant but I am similarly terrified to discover what that means.

Derich's godless depravity is fanning out like wildfire.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Exactly how are these two different? Also, making social media friends with pornstars (and pro wrestlers and on and on) is a fetish of his on his long list of them, I'd suggest.

Completely agree his actual fetish is making social media friends and getting shoutouts, disagree with him having a long list of fetishes.

For me, what's hilarious about Derich is how unaware he is about what he's posting. As others have speculated, it doesn't seem like he actually watches porn. He's probably watching 15 second clips, then basically taking the description of the video and rewording it in a slightly different way with the hopes of getting a shoutout. That even led to someone pointing out once that a video he claimed to like hadn't been filmed, he was just posting the description of something that was upcoming, if I'm remembering correctly.

I think the best example of him not actually understanding porn is that recent post where the chick was doing the schoolgirl shtick, and his response was he'd let her skip his class without getting in trouble. That's the level of experience we're dealing with. Even his more genuine comments, when he isn't just rewording the description of a video/something someone else said, are fairly innocent, calling the girls cute or pretty. It doesn't even sound like he's trying to get laid or anything, it really is just about getting a response from them.

That fundamental misunderstanding is why his tweets are so funny and elevates him above the usual degenerates thirst posting on twitter. To make it perfectly clear, I'm not trying to say he isn't a degenerate himself. I just don't think he's actually into, or rather, that he even understands what he's watching. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he got into porn in the first place because he thought it was just a different style of wrestling.

 

[Kosher Dill]

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Half Man
Half Machine
All Coom

 

[DerichLovesNWA]

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“It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity! Or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop!...Ever!...until its question is answered!"​

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I am terrified to know how you are so well-versed on the postings of whatever that site is, my friend.

I don't go to Efukt all the time. It's a porn site that posts the worst shit. "Adult humor for adults".

One of the classics is when the guy fucks a girl in the ass and tells her to suck his dick. She says no. "Come on, it's only smells"

Then the camera zooms in and he has shit on his dick. And she sucks it off.

This isn't masturbation material, it's something to laugh at.

Another example is a young girl who went to a Max Hardcore shoot. He starts peeing on her. She freaks out. "I thought you just used a hose with water!" "No, bitch! You know what you signed up for!" And she lays there crying while getting pissed on.

I guess it's a different type of funny.

 

[An Avenging Bird]

I don't go to Efukt all the time. It's a porn site that posts the worst shit. "Adult humor for adults".

One of the classics is when the guy fucks a girl in the ass and tells her to suck his dick. She says no. "Come on, it's only smells"

Then the camera zooms in and he has shit on his dick. And she sucks it off.

This isn't masturbation material, it's something to laugh at.

Another example is a young girl who went to a Max Hardcore shoot. He starts peeing on her. She freaks out. "I thought you just used a hose with water!" "No, bitch! You know what you signed up for!" And she lays there crying while getting pissed on.

I guess it's a different type of funny.

To each...their own...I guess.

Anyway holy shit is Derich a retard who will die a virgin

 

[Kumquatacus]

To each...their own...I guess.

Anyway holy shit is Derich a retard who will die a virgin

if i lived near derich i'd hook him up with a porn star

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

There was an upload on Efukt recently, "Cumming on Dead Girls". It was a fairly long video featuring porn stars who committed suicide or overdosed or got murdered.

So when Derich wonders why his favorite girl doesn't like to be reminded that she has no skills or future other than getting two dicks in the ass at the same time... They don't like it. A lot of them kill themselves or take so much drugs that they die.

It's a degrading life choice. Maybe they don't respond because the only thing they hate more than themselves is the perverts who want them to keep doing it.

I like the "Shit Pornstars Say" video because it aligns so well with the way Derich responds with his full blown autism.

 

[Sugar Puppet]

Phil's had enough of people making fun of Derich, an innocent fan who does nothing wrong. According to Phil if you make fun of Derich you're a bigger loser than him so prepare to get banned.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

Phil's had enough of people making fun of Derich, an innocent fan who does nothing wrong. According to Phil if you make fun of Derich you're a bigger loser than him so prepare to get banned.

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Phil doing everything in his power to defend his only legit, unironic fan left from his 12 year legacy

 

[DerichLovesNWA]

I said this in jest a while back in main but I still can’t help but think Derich’s parents are like. Holding Phil accountable for Derich stealing his mom’s credit card to give him money under some legal threat or something. Phil’s ability to pick Derich out in a crowd of chat while simultaneously ignoring people pinging him for minutes on end is incredibly suspicious to me.
A while back Derich got upset that Phil wasn’t responding to him during Fall Guys and said something along the lines of “Why aren’t you responding to me Phil I’ve been asking a question for 15 10 minutes” but the way it was worded was almost as a veiled threat.

give me those rainbows and puzzle pieces though for my crackpot theory but it still baffles me how much preferential treatment Derich receives even among unironic fans like KingMichael. There has to be something going on behind the scenes.

Edit: corrections

 

[Abe Vigoda]

I know Phil doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself, but if he reached out to Derich privately and told him this was a bad idea and to quit it, do you think he would? Does Derich unironically see DSP as some kind of role model or is it just that it's easy to make the pig dance and say his name?

 

[SauceRyuKen]

I said this in jest a while back in main but I still can’t help but think Derich’s parents are like. Holding Phil accountable for Derich stealing his mom’s credit card to give him money under some legal threat or something. Phil’s ability to pick Derich out in a crowd of chat while simultaneously ignoring people pinging him for minutes on end is incredibly suspicious to me.
A while back Derich got upset that Phil wasn’t responding to him during Fall Guys and said something along the lines of “Why aren’t you responding to me Phil I’ve been asking a question for 15 10 minutes” but the way it was worded was almost as a veiled threat.

give me those rainbows and puzzle pieces though for my crackpot theory but it still baffles me how much preferential treatment Derich receives even among unironic fans like KingMichael. There has to be something going on behind the scenes.

Edit: corrections

I guess Phil likes the "meaningful relationship" defense for taking advantage of people who end up way too attached to him.

That said, I don't think there's any weird business going on. Derich is, unironically, the gold standard for a Phil fan. He's polite, he doesn't talk shit, he strictly limits the coversation to Phil-kosher topics (wrasslin', food, vidya) and the slowness in the mind is there, but not immediately obvious like with Madara and company.

Not to mention, Derich is popular. Hell, even we arguably like Derich for his demented coomposting and hope that he doesn't turn out to be a sex offender. Although I think a granny fiddler saga would be funny. Quick, someone get Nina Hartley to give Derich a shoutout!

All in all, Derich's just a big name regular. It's a frequent figure in streams. The mirror has a few of them too. (Mostly the Mahd team) The main thing is just how sad it is that the bar is so low and the applicants are so few, it ends up being Derich who essentially becomes the new Rambo.

Edit: I think Phil and Derich unironically like each other, but in the end they're, well autismos of different walks of life. Phil acting friendly towards Derich is as close as he's gonna get to anyone. Probably including Kat. And Derich, while superficially pleasant is just at Phil's chat to get that childish thrill of attention.

Come to think of it, maybe Derich has abandonment issues. He's specifically trying to get a well known mature adult streamer to give him shoutouts, and pornstars too. It's like what a child thinks adults do: put on clothes and work a job to get money for unfathomable bills and also do the sex. It clearly isn't about sex for Derich, or he would understand basic innuendo or why a girl in a schoolgirl uniform would be considered sexy, even if it's not his thing. I'm 90% sure you could get an actual pornstar to offer Derich to make a scene, and Derich would be delighted, give a same thing but reworded answer... And never respond again, much less actually go through with it.

Maybe Derich just wants to socialize with what he perceives as the most adult people. His parents clearly were not on top of things if Derich nabbed their card to give Phil money...

 

[Friendly Primarina]

I guess Phil likes the "meaningful relationship" defense for taking advantage of people who end up way too attached to him.

That said, I don't think there's any weird business going on. Derich is, unironically, the gold standard for a Phil fan. He's polite, he doesn't talk shit, he strictly limits the coversation to Phil-kosher topics (wrasslin', food, vidya) and the slowness in the mind is there, but not immediately obvious like with Madara and company.

Not to mention, Derich is popular. Hell, even we arguably like Derich for his demented coomposting and hope that he doesn't turn out to be a sex offender. Although I think a granny fiddler saga would be funny. Quick, someone get Nina Hartley to give Derich a shoutout!

All in all, Derich's just a big name regular. It's a frequent figure in streams. The mirror has a few of them too. (Mostly the Mahd team) The main thing is just how sad it is that the bar is so low and the applicants are so few, it ends up being Derich who essentially becomes the new Rambo.

Edit: I think Phil and Derich unironically like each other, but in the end they're, well autismos of different walks of life. Phil acting friendly towards Derich is as close as he's gonna get to anyone. Probably including Kat. And Derich, while superficially pleasant is just at Phil's chat to get that childish thrill of attention.

Come to think of it, maybe Derich has abandonment issues. He's specifically trying to get a well known mature adult streamer to give him shoutouts, and pornstars too. It's like what a child thinks adults do: put on clothes and work a job to get money for unfathomable bills and also do the sex. It clearly isn't about sex for Derich, or he would understand basic innuendo or why a girl in a schoolgirl uniform would be considered sexy, even if it's not his thing. I'm 90% sure you could get an actual pornstar to offer Derich to make a scene, and Derich would be delighted, give a same thing but reworded answer... And never respond again, much less actually go through with it.

Maybe Derich just wants to socialize with what he perceives as the most adult people. His parents clearly were not on top of things if Derich nabbed their card to give Phil money...

OIC spent thousands of dollars for a fraction of Derich's popularity

 

[Kumquatacus]

Phil's had enough of people making fun of Derich, an innocent fan who does nothing wrong. According to Phil if you make fun of Derich you're a bigger loser than him so prepare to get banned.

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So tell me who is the biggest loser?

The person who tweets at pornstars all day with the same cut and paste responses telling them how much he loved watching them drink piss with his coomer in crime jackie
or
The people who notice this unusual behaviour and decided to have a laugh about it?

 

[hundredthousand]

Phil's had enough of people making fun of Derich, an innocent fan who does nothing wrong. According to Phil if you make fun of Derich you're a bigger loser than him so prepare to get banned.

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Haha!
Didn't anyone catch Phil almost calling Derich retarded / special needs in that clip?

"Anyone who'd pick on a - an - uh uh uh... frequent viewer"

Sorry that your parents completely ignored any attempt to give you social skills Derich, but most people don't publicly coompost about piss drinking, etc for 16 hours a day.

When Derich got called out for having a pedo playlist on YouTube he deleted it, so he's not so retarded as to completely not understand what is inappropriate.

Phil's number 1 fan is the biggest pervert known to man and he expects nobody to mention it? lol.

 

[SocietyLiver1488]

There has to be something going on behind the scenes.

Maybe it's something simple like Derich is big-time patreon supporter of pig pig burnelli

 

[Prince Lotor]

Haha!
Didn't anyone catch Phil almost calling Derich retarded / special needs in that clip?

"Anyone who'd pick on a - an - uh uh uh... frequent viewer"

Sorry that your parents completely ignored any attempt to give you social skills Derich, but most people don't publicly coompost about piss drinking, etc for 16 hours a day.

When Derich got called out for having a pedo playlist on YouTube he deleted it, so he's not so retarded as to completely not understand what is inappropriate.

Phil's number 1 fan is the biggest pervert known to man and he expects nobody to mention it? lol.

You can actually hear Phil say the 'R'. It was more like:

"Anyone who'd pick on a r-uh-ah. . .a. .frequent viewer. . .especially when you STALK them outside the stream, YOU are the BIGGER loser."

Also he's low-key calling Derish a loser. Nice look Phil. You barely hold yourself back from calling him a retard only to immediately call him a loser

 

[PaleTay]

You can actually hear Phil say the 'R'. It was more like:

"Anyone who'd pick on a r-uh-ah. . .a. .frequent viewer. . .especially when you STALK them outside the stream, YOU are the BIGGER loser."

Also he's low-key calling Derish a loser. Nice look Phil. You barely hold yourself back from calling him a retard only to immediately call him a loser

So is that why he talks to Derich? He's so much of a "retarded loser" that even Phil feels bad about taking his (stolen) money, or sees it as his act of charity?