Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Gramlol]

I honestly wonder if Nick is seeing this character assassination that Tess is constantly screeching about.

How convenient he's under covid restrictions. Our primeminister (a conservative idiot) announced today that normal travel likely won't resume till at least 2024. Aussies can fly over if they prove that they have means to support themselves and intend on living for a while in the new country, but I don't see Nick having job prospects in LA..
How embarassing that Tess saw him as 'Australian millionaire businessman'. Like the Irish, we lie to take the piss out of foreigners for sport as a way to weed out the dummies. Tess did not pass the test

 

[multiverse]

Tess, in despair to keep her flabletics sponsorship, has resorted to shilling her youngest son in the ads as a "mommy + me" package.


She posted a video as well, which features her attempt to dance around with Bowie - peep him getting bonked in the head by her gunt repeatedly.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Tess, in despair to keep her flabletics sponsorship, has resorted to shilling her youngest son in the ads as a "mommy + me" package.
View attachment 2081787View attachment 2081788

She posted a video as well, which features her attempt to dance around with Bowie - peep him getting bonked in the head by her gunt repeatedly.
View attachment 2081791

LMAO this bitch could murder someone and claim she was only in prison because she's fat. Every mom gets told 'what they should and should not do on camera' and posting your 4yo child naked in the bath on your Instagram stories is going to get you shit no matter how skinny you are.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

her youngest son

He looks so similar to Nick; she's going to hate him in very near future me thinks

 

[Free the Pedos]

If Tess is a kept woman, why does she bother with the Fabletics sponsorship? Everyone knows it isn't enough to support herself and she hates work.

 

[GrouchiCorn]

you can tell she doesn't do that with him usually, she looks so awkward. I think she keeps Flabletics spon because it validates her "i'm a super model" delusion.

 

[Barbarella]

He's wearing different pants in the photo and video.

 

[Putin Bot]

As much as I want to scream "CUT HIS FUCKING HAIR!!" I do have to begrudgingly admit that though Bowie's hair is long, Tess still does keep it brushed and not a tangled rat's nest, which is more than I can say for other deathfats with kids. But Jesus Tess. Kids haircuts are pretty cheap. Hell, take him to GreatClips if you're that stingy. I know some boys like to have long hair, but I've never met a boy who's hair is as long as his is, especially one that young. If Tess ever does enroll Bowie in school, he's going to be bullied for having his hair that long. I really hope that his hair is that long just due to her laziness and "free spirit" bullshit, and not that Tess is planning to troon him out for asspats. But she does live in California, where trans kids are the fashion du jour amongst the hipsters and wealthy.

And this is even darker, but I seriously hope that Bowie isn't being groomed by Tess's clients, and that's why his hair is so long. Men who pay for prostitutes usually aren't the kind you want around children. Now I just made myself sad.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

If Tess is a kept woman, why does she bother with the Fabletics sponsorship? Everyone knows it isn't enough to support herself and she hates work.

All she does is just wear the clothes once and that’s it. It’s low effort work, much like her podcast. It gives her the chance to pretend she’s still a model and still relevant, even if it’s for a sponsorship anyone can get. Also it gives her a little spare cash for more weed or (more likely) edibles.

And this is even darker, but I seriously hope that Bowie isn't being groomed by Tess's clients, and that's why his hair is so long. Men who pay for prostitutes usually aren't the kind you want around children. Now I just made myself sad.

Possible but not probable. Tess has been trying to offload Bowie on someone like she did Rylee, which runs counter to the grooming idea. I think when her fetishist stops by, Tess is angry that she can’t find someone to dump Bowie off on. Going to guess that he has to stay in his room and watch movies with the volume up high with earbuds or headphones on when Tess’s “friend” has to stop by.

 

[evelynhopewell]

How does this cunt have any sort of following? She is vile and not even charismatic to make up for it.

 

[Miss Misery]

If Tess DOES send Bowie to public school and doesn't 1. move or 2. have the foresight to opt for open enrollment, this is the elementary school her little long-haired guero is going to...

Edit: She'd better start saving up for private school.

https://www.caschooldashboard.org/reports/19647256015622/2019

https://admin.sarconline.org/Sarc/Print/19647256015622?year=2019-2020

 

[bloomingcactus]

If Tess DOES send Bowie to public school and doesn't 1. move or 2. have the foresight to opt for open enrollment, this is the elementary school her little long-haired guero is going to...

View attachment 2082963

Edit: She'd better start saving up for private school.

https://www.caschooldashboard.org/reports/19647256015622/2019

https://admin.sarconline.org/Sarc/Print/19647256015622?year=2019-2020

Lol white people are the minorities in those schools. Behind black people and the dominant Hispanics. Wonder if Tess will believe him if he says he's getting bullied? If he's going to at least have a chance he needs to cut his hair and use Tess's maiden name so people can't Google her and see her skanky ass on display.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

If Bowie's anything like his parents, he will turn into an albino cholo in a sad attempt to fit in. Sup, ese.

 

[Oscar Winner]

you can tell she doesn't do that with him usually, she looks so awkward. I think she keeps Flabletics spon because it validates her "i'm a super model" delusion.

Bowie looks kinda awkward too, but he's so into it. You can tell by looking at both of them that this sort of thing really doesn't happen that often. I feel really sorry for that poor kiddo, in more ways than one.

 

[Cynar]

If Tess is a kept woman, why does she bother with the Fabletics sponsorship? Everyone knows it isn't enough to support herself and she hates work.

Agree with @NeoGAF Lurker. She needs to be able to tell herself and others that she's a model. Tess would do these sponsorships in exchange for last season's swag if it meant she could carry on the delusions of relevance. Also, it's got to be great advertising for the paypigs.

 

[Angry New Ager]

If Tess is a kept woman, why does she bother with the Fabletics sponsorship? Everyone knows it isn't enough to support herself and she hates work.

Kept women are in a precarious position; if their keeper loses interest, they can end up high and dry. Unlike a wife, they're not entitled to anything if the keeper calls it quits.

Besides, Tess actually wants to be famous and admired (or at least envied). She craves that shit. She's not doing the whole "supermoddle" thing so she can snag a husband wealthy enough to support her, only to disappear from view; she wants to be out there and be famous, and be the center of attention. So of course she would keep up the pretense that she's a successful working model--even if she never had to work again.

That her career is going nowhere won't make her jump off the F-list celebrity treadmill. She's had her fifteen minutes, but she's determined to claw away as many more as she can possiblty get for herself.

Tess is never going to think, "You know, maybe it's time to call it quits, move somewhere cheaper, and get a regular job." Nah--she's going to keep flogging away at being a low-tier, marginally-employed celebrity, telling herself that her next big success is just around the corner, as soon as circumstances change in her favor. And she'll keep doing it no matter who is paying her bills.

 

[Tesshollidaysflupaknees]

Bowie looks kinda awkward too, but he's so into it. You can tell by looking at both of them that this sort of thing really doesn't happen that often. I feel really sorry for that poor kiddo, in more ways than one.

It's a shame, because Bowie seems like such a sweet kid. He just wants his mother to love him. It's heart breaking.

 

[Flawmil]

Tess, in despair to keep her flabletics sponsorship, has resorted to shilling her youngest son in the ads as a "mommy + me" package.
View attachment 2081787View attachment 2081788

She posted a video as well, which features her attempt to dance around with Bowie - peep him getting bonked in the head by her gunt repeatedly.
View attachment 2081791

The cringiest part of this is how she’s eye fucking herself looking at the camera and trying to throw in poses and show off her ass. This is so sad and detached. Very performative and karadashianesque when she does photos or videos with Bowie.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

TFW for the same-ish amount of time your show watched fewer people, than ‘random live’ of fat, officially tarded, and hijabi-larping pig

 

[Umaibae]

As much as I want to scream "CUT HIS FUCKING HAIR!!" I do have to begrudgingly admit that though Bowie's hair is long, Tess still does keep it brushed and not a tangled rat's nest, which is more than I can say for other deathfats with kids. But Jesus Tess. Kids haircuts are pretty cheap. Hell, take him to GreatClips if you're that stingy. I know some boys like to have long hair, but I've never met a boy who's hair is as long as his is, especially one that young. If Tess ever does enroll Bowie in school, he's going to be bullied for having his hair that long. I really hope that his hair is that long just due to her laziness and "free spirit" bullshit, and not that Tess is planning to troon him out for asspats. But she does live in California, where trans kids are the fashion du jour amongst the hipsters and wealthy.

And this is even darker, but I seriously hope that Bowie isn't being groomed by Tess's clients, and that's why his hair is so long. Men who pay for prostitutes usually aren't the kind you want around children. Now I just made myself sad.

Long hair on boys isn’t uncommon in Southern California — ESPECIALLY in LBC and San Pedro. I know little Latino boys might not have long hair, but plenty of their older counterparts in middle and high school definitely do.

The problem is that Bowie’s hair is unkempt. It needs a trim. She can easily cut off 3-5” and it would still be “long boy hair.” I don’t know why she’s so committed to having it at the length it is now.