The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Questionable Ceviche]

I was thinking exactly of Amish country, but that's just plain old natural gas. Lots of them get it absolutely free which is enough for the few things they use it for. LNG is transportable and pretty energy dense. Natural gas is really good for heating, things like dryers, cooking. Cooking would seem to be really important for these douchebags, at least if they weren't probably just gobbling down Hot Pockets cooked in a fucking microwave, of all things, possibly the single worst appliance you could use offgrid.

All their piled up food is premade shit. It's tons of bags of bread, chips, snacks, shelf stable garbage, and then perishable stuff that requires refrigeration or freezing. They're not buying staples like flour or rice or dried beans that keep for a long time without power. Likewise they're purchasing a ton of preprocessed meat in tiny supermarket packages instead of buying large sides and breaking it down themselves to vacuum seal. They're not drying, canning, smoking, or cooking anything. The power waste in maintaining that diet is outrageous. There is zero self-sufficiency happening in this household. The labor involved in cooking for that many workers would be a full time job that none of them are interested in or disciplined enough to handle, just like anything else involved in animal husbandry or anything else about their tranch larp.

They're a bunch of dumb fat city frat boys who would roll over and die in a real emergency.

Wait, what ever happened to the Lambs that they stole from the mothers?

They died. That's why they're not plastered all over Twitter for easy grift money. Getting the mother's first milk, colostrum, is incredibly important for their development. It's extremely high in calories, easy to digest, and contains a ton of antibodies for the lamb. Lambs starting without that face an uphill battle, and combined with the absolute state of neglect they were in, really had no chance at all. These lambs were all surprise unplanned births, dropped in a cold field, and abandoned by malnourished mothers.

 

[Celestine]

After reading this thread I've come to the conclusion living off-grid would absolutely blow. Most folks aren't cut out for the ranch lifestyle, working from sun up to sun down, constantly fixing shit, dealing with animal problems... Why the hell would the most mentally fragile people think they could keep the LARP going this long?
There is such a sense of shock that the tranch is still standing, that there haven't been several close calls, whether it be an electrical fire or just some pacas escaping for a better life... It's also extremely concerning that the tranchers apparently just let the animals breed willy-nilly, if they weren't aware of the lambs, what happens when the pacas get pregnant? Tiny paca graves

 

[Death Grip]

You expect a bunch of selfish, maladjusted men just doing a virtue signal larp so they can buy toys they don't need (body armor, guns, and Transformers) to actually give a shit about the lives in their hands?

I mean no not really but at the same time what the actual fuck?

It is. Get a couple of inches in July.

View attachment 2086877

July, but that's months away! Maybe there will be an earlier rain that comes out of the blue and destroys all their good works.
Also poor lambs, didn't stand a fucking chance. Didn't even make it to roast lamb age.

 

[break these cuffs]

After reading this thread I've come to the conclusion living off-grid would absolutely blow. Most folks aren't cut out for the ranch lifestyle, working from sun up to sun down, constantly fixing shit, dealing with animal problems... Why the hell would the most mentally fragile people think they could keep the LARP going this long?

Because running a hobby farm or a homestead is a trendy thing these days. It's very romantic to be on your own property and living the way your forefathers did doing for yourself. You learn skills, make friends, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. It feels really rewarding sleeping in a house you built heated by wood you fell on a cold winter night. It's also a job as well as a lifestyle and you'll need help, or free money, to be successful. Farmers traditionally had big families because you put the kids to work. It isn't life suited to a lot of people, least of all slovenly troons.

They're the Lost Boys with more mental illness, guns and diaper shitting. These troons live in larp land where they will be masters of their own domain. Their armed tranny compounds will be petty fiefdoms where they can lord over the lesser trannies who come to them seeking shelter and safety. All their power fantasies will become manifest.

 

[Gone Ham]

God I can’t wait for the Troon Somme, where it’s just thousands of casualties
by their own hands and drowning alpacas. Wonder if they’ll build trenches

 

[Coccxys]

God I can’t wait for the Troon Somme, where it’s just thousands of casualties
by their own hands and drowning alpacas. Wonder if they’ll build trenches

Or troon Ypres when someone tries topping up a battery with shitty well water rather than getting distilled. Or any of the other ways they could gas themselves through shear incompetence.

 

[AMHOLIO]

July, but that's months away! Maybe there will be an earlier rain that comes out of the blue and destroys all their good works.

Patience, my friend. We can also hope for an early house fire considering their choice of appliance buying.

 

[Coccxys]

I hope it rains especially heavily and they set the house on fire. It sinking into the earth as it burns like a ship wreck of old would be the perfect ending.

 

[Celestine]

I hope it rains especially heavily and they set the house on fire. It sinking into the earth as it burns like a ship wreck of old would be the perfect ending.

It could be like the end of Titanic, except with a 2 foot deep mud and shit mixture. Kevyrn is clinging to his Transformers and coomputer raft, threatening the other tranchers with dialators if they try to climb on

 

[retard strength]

Don't forget the power from the wifi home security camera they were gifted 4 of to capture evidence about the dangerous very real Earl and Bubba threat!

I am glad the transtifa community got scammed donated $100,000 to Tenacious Unicorn Ranch in Colorado for Safety that has been spent on absolutely nothing to make them more safe.

 

[AnOminous]

God, the tranchers are an incompetent bunch. Why try and live off-grid when they're clearly a bunch of terminally-online city slickers?

It's a dude ranch in every sense of the word "dude."

 

[Rotter]

Old stuff, but strangely interesting.

Penny and his fucking man voice. Notice how the handmaidens in the audience are lapping it up. Loving his every troon utterance. I'm starting to see why troons feel so emboldened. Imagine what it's like for them in a big city with all the shitlib women kissing their behinds.

Next thing I hate... and this is kinda petty, but have we ever seen a telescope on the tranch?
Westcliffe, and the Wet Mountain Valley area is a certified International Dark Sky Community. An amateur astronomers paradise, basically.

Fucking plebs. It's all about vidya, Funkopops, and soil erosion, with this lot.

 

[AnOminous]

They financed the tractor? What are the odds they don't keep the payments up and then shoot the poor fool sent to repo it?

More like try. Repo men are used to dumb fucks making a move and generally prepared to return fire if they have to. They also have a lot of tricks, like waiting for you to leave, or bringing in police assistance. Unfortunately for whoever sold it to them, by the time it gets repossessed, they'll probably have rendered it nonfunctional with some kind of troon idiocy.

 

[Old Fart]

The other teeth look perfectly healthy, and you aren't going to lose teeth that young to anything short of a cinderblock to the mouth. It's probably because it's a Golden, and those things are about as inbred as socially anxious clan of rednecks, so something hasn't come in.

I will say those dogs have terrible allergies though. Good thing there's no grass on the tranch to give him problems.

I made that same mistake, but they're Pyrenean mountain dogs, so one would hope they have no allergies. But then again, one would hope they'd be capable of guarding the compound against nightly invaders.

--
Would be nice if someone politely asked them about the silence of the lambs.

 

[AnOminous]

It could be like the end of Titanic, except with a 2 foot deep mud and shit mixture. Kevyrn is clinging to his Transformers and coomputer raft, threatening the other tranchers with dialators if they try to climb on

Probably more likely it dies with a whimper and not a bang. If anyone fired back on these idiots they'd shit themselves. But more likely, the place just continues being a money pit, the alpacas die from some transmissible preventable disease because of their shitty living conditions, they fuck up their vehicles, they destroy their own electrical system out of pure stupidity, and it just quietly fails and they blame each other, accuse each other of rape on social media, and move on to other dumb troon scams back in the city.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

and his fucking man voice. Notice how the handmaidens in the audience are lapping it up.

Fuck all these people...

 

[White Devil]

More like try. Repo men are used to dumb fucks making a move and generally prepared to return fire if they have to. They also have a lot of tricks, like waiting for you to leave, or bringing in police assistance. Unfortunately for whoever sold it to them, by the time it gets repossessed, they'll probably have rendered it nonfunctional with some kind of troon idiocy.

If they have it garaged, repo men legally cannot enter the property and take it. That's Colorado law as well as a lot of other places. That being said if it goes that far, the tractor will probably be disabled via remote first. I think they have to wait ten days after serving them notice before repossession and you know in those ten days Earl will suddenly be back prowling the tranch and tactically deflating tires with his assault core pulling tool.

 

[AprilRains]

More like try. Repo men are used to dumb fucks making a move and generally prepared to return fire if they have to. They also have a lot of tricks, like waiting for you to leave, or bringing in police assistance. Unfortunately for whoever sold it to them, by the time it gets repossessed, they'll probably have rendered it nonfunctional with some kind of troon idiocy.

Damn right. Do not fuck with Harry Dean Stanton.

Edit: Maybe we should call them "goddamn dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo punks". Or just "Gypsy Dildo Punks". ...no, they'd probably like that.

 

[Comandante Marcos]

Electric and hybrid cars tend to be a very poor choice for country driving. They are heavy for their size, have low ground clearance and skinny tyres, everything you need to get stuck in the mud or rip off your exhaust on a protruding rock. They also tend to have delicate suspensions that are quickly destroyed by rough country dirt roads, and that's assuming you're not dumb enough to go off-road in them which will kill them in literal minutes. A friend of mine took their Civic hybrid on a two week holiday to a place that was accessed by a half-mile dirt track. The car's tracking was visibly off after a couple of days and before the two weeks were up the suspension broke completely and it had to be hauled away on a low-loader.

Bonnie's shitmobile is going to disintegrate.

Then there's the fact that Nissans in general are piles of shit on wheels. In the 70s what was then Datsun imported zillions of cars from Japan that were built REALLY well. They would go all day with minimal maintenance. Christopher McCandless (of Into The Wild fame) drove a 1982 Datsun 210 all over the fucking Mojave with zero problems. (What did him in was trying to start it after a desert cloudburst, and he got all autistic to the point where he drained the battery. He didn't want to go to the cops since they'd send him right back to Virginia, so he abandoned it and took off on foot.)

Then Datsun became Nissan, and production moved to the US and ultimately to Mexico. I had a 2002 Sentra that I inherited, and when it hit 140k or so the external parts all fucking died, one after the other. All those parts were made by third party suppliers in Mexico. Finally the emissions system developed a problem that the dealer couldn't figure out, so I sold it to a Mexican. When I was buying a car from Hertz a few years ago the financing droid told me that I needed an extra warranty because his mom bought a Versa and the transmission fell out at 50k. I so wanted to tell the guy it was because Nissan makes shitboxes, but I didn't.

The point of this giant PL sperg is that Nissans suck, and anybody who buys one is a fucking retard. In Articles & News somebody posted about how Nissan is forcing 84 month payment plans on the poor suckers who wander in to the lots. The car will be fucking dead and on a scrap ship to China long before then, but the mark will still owe the money.

And the Leaf is a joke, you literally have to plug it in ANY FUCKING TIME you park it or else the battery discharges. People have had to plug the shitboxes in anywhere they can, and sometimes get accused of stealing power because of it. A Nissan Leaf with 60k miles from the Front Range of the Rockies is little more than a giant paperweight, the battery has just about had it under Colorado's harsh weather. Salute to the guy who got way too much money for it from a stupid troon.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This land calls for Fremen, but instead the Tranch is populated by Harkonnens and the twisted creations of the Bene Tleilax.