The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Lord of the Large Pants]

They have 200 of these critters that thus produce 36 ton of shit on that plot of land each year. And probably no plan to take it elsewhere. No wonder all plant life is gone.

With the amount the things get fed, it's probably less.

Dammit. I made myself sad.

 

[Ghostse]

The before-after pics of the property are a perfect analogy for tronning out and the before-after pics they take of that.

>before: Unkempt and ungroomed, but charming in a dorky, rustic way. Somewhat able to support the creation of life
>after: Clean shaven except for some stubble, alien and creepy looking, barren and trying to spread that entropy as far as possible

But enough about the troons' crotches.

 

[Gone Ham]

I think this is a good approach to take.

The thing is, what makes KF distinctive (and also so reviled) compared to a dozen or so other similar drama/gossip sites is that we're realistic and truthful. We keep receipts. (Speaking of which: screenshots are nice but web archives are even better)

Back when ED and /cow/ were king, it was easy for lolcows to dismiss accusations because the accusations were mixed in with a whole mess of tongue-in-cheek bullshit ("lol and they totally suck dicks!!")

KF is interested in genuine nutjobs actually being morons and fucking up their lives. There's no need for us to fabricate accusations or for us to put a finger on the scale by prodding them to fuck up. They'll do it themselves without our involvement.

And if they occasionally get something right, it's almost certainly a stroke of luck on their part. No need to feel bad about acknowledging it when they do it right for once, because sooner or later, they'll get back to fucking up.

We should appreciate skepticism. No one can accuse us of being anything but fair.

This is why KF gets attacked by big tech and the financial industry. We're way more of a threat to the mainstream perspective than an ED page plastered with shitty photoshops and "lol nigger nigger nigger nigger".

And if a lolcow learns their lesson and start to do things right, well then maybe they're not a lolcow anymore. It's rare, but it happens (like how Pad Gardner got psychiatric help and donated his pad collection to charity). Good for them, we can move on. It's not like there's a shortage of people doing dumb shit online.

But something tells me the tranchers aren't going to be learning any lessons anytime soon.

A great example of hidden competence is Penny. He’s basically holding the entire thing down with his fixes. If he leaves, it’ll be genuinely a death sentence for the tranch

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think they might think they're composting but whatever the fuck that is isn't composting, it's just a giant pile of shit in the open air.

Do they even know that? Could they be planning on selling it? Or have they just randomly gathered all the shit from all the animals into one big pile? Considering the last is about the dumbest thing they could do, I'm guessing that.

They're sitting on a gold mine with all these alpaca beans; one can only hope that Earl and the fascists don't make it past the 24-hour guard to steal Shit Mountain.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Trump/Earl 2024?

 

[Marvin]

A great example of hidden competence is Penny. He’s basically holding the entire thing down with his fixes. If he leaves, it’ll be genuinely a death sentence for the tranch

Penny was also the one tweeting about how the tranch isn't a dating site, right? The quiet tension between Penny and the more useless tranchers is gonna boil over at some point and it's going to be fantastic to watch.

 

[Bird In Flight]

Regarding the damage done to the land- would laying turf help it recover in any way?
Obviously not whilst there’s hundreds of starving ruminants on it, but for future owners of this land that might not want to live on Arrakis.

 

[Squid Diddler]

The Kyle Hill ones? I'd love for that guy to do an easy-to-understand but still very detailed dive into the future Tranch wasteland.

Sadly I don't think he ever will, as he seems kind of pozzed. I do like a lot of his videos though.

 

[Meriasek]

Imagine the smell. And the flies.

And that's just the half dozen stinkditches on the ranch.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Penis should take a sledgehammer to everything Kevin owns and make him work.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Regarding the damage done to the land- would laying turf help it recover in any way?
Obviously not whilst there’s hundreds of starving ruminants on it, but for future owners of this land that might not want to live on Arrakis.

You could but it would be kind of expensive.

 

[A Widdle Woach]

Forgive me for being an ignorant city slicker but couldn’t they make some extra cash by composting the manure and food scraps and selling it as fertilizer?
or at the very least try to help the land get somewhat healthy again?

 

[mr.moon1488]

Forgive me for being an ignorant city slicker but couldn’t they make some extra cash by composting the manure and food scraps and selling it as fertilizer?
or at the very least try to help the land get somewhat healthy again?

They could sell it as apparently Alpaca shit does make for pretty good Manure.

Alpaca Manure

Alpaca Facts. The alpaca is a ruminent with three stomachs. It converts grass and hay to energy very quickly, eating far less (as a percentage of its

www.o2compost.com

As for rehabbing the land, even before they allowed for overgrazing, it really wasn't that great of pasture land to begin with. It really should have been graded down, de-rocked, and then they should have laid pasture-safe turf.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Regarding the damage done to the land- would laying turf help it recover in any way?
Obviously not whilst there’s hundreds of starving ruminants on it, but for future owners of this land that might not want to live on Arrakis.

I doubt that it would work. Mostly because they let the animals roam all around the terrain and that is a huge cause of the problem. Specially if they have chickens since the little shits can decimate a small plot of land in a matter of days. You couple the chickens with the alpacas and you have a good combination for overgrazing. Also, the fact the animals roam all over the place will barely allow them to get some soil recovery going. And i dunno if it would be doable in that area tbh, since it was already a desert.

 

[stupid frog]

Penny was also the one tweeting about how the tranch isn't a dating site, right? The quiet tension between Penny and the more useless tranchers is gonna boil over at some point and it's going to be fantastic to watch.

No, that was Bonnie.

 

[retard strength]

They could have just had fixed watch dogs, a barn cat, and a dozen or so farm animals and monitored their pregnancies... but alas, the AGP breeding fetish is a plague to the land where no creature is exempt.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

Penny was also the one tweeting about how the tranch isn't a dating site, right? The quiet tension between Penny and the more useless tranchers is gonna boil over at some point and it's going to be fantastic to watch.

That was Bonnie, whose reputation as the normal (or at least normal-adjacent) one on the Tranch has taken some unfortunate hits lately.

 

[Gone Ham]

Penny was also the one tweeting about how the tranch isn't a dating site, right? The quiet tension between Penny and the more useless tranchers is gonna boil over at some point and it's going to be fantastic to watch.

Tensions boiling over would spell a Kevin win, because the property is in his moms name iirc... maybe it would actually go straight to penny because he’s actually responsible snd probably could con kevs mom to sell it to him.

 

[Coccxys]

Kevs amhole is the true patient zero of Covid

Calling it now the next zoonotic pandemic will be when the alpaca herd develops some horrific new disease and the troons catch it from a severe lack of hygiene.

Tensions boiling over would spell a Kevin win, because the property is in his moms name iirc... maybe it would actually go straight to penny because he’s actually responsible snd probably could con kevs mom to sell it to him.

It's in Bonnie's mum's name. Kevin is just throwing $1k a month at the project in "rent".

 

[Law]

They let the alpacas breed unsupervised

Well they can't assume the genders of the alpacas you bigot. Plus, men can get pregnant!

Forgive me for asking, but what happens with the giant shit pile?

Her name is Kathryn, she mostly stays in her room and Tweets.