Community Lolitas - 1000% more backstabbing than you'd expect.

[Jashinist]

I never knew this fandom was so big.
It's funny to imagine grown-ass women talking shit about each other while dressed up like 5 year olds. Has the fandom always been this bitchy or has it just sort of dissolved into this?

The internet always makes everything 10000% more bitchy, no matter what the fandom. Anonymity is the key here. These girls would never dare say half the stuff they do if their names were attached - and to be honest that's not because they're cowards, I think all of us can relate to wanting to say things without our actual identity being linked to it.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm mainly familiar with the /cgl/ board on 4chan because during Dashcon, it sort of ended up as the unofficial "laugh at Dashcon" central. Here's an archive of the general thread that developed on the subject, maybe because the mods just didn't ban it.

I was surprised there was a board on the subject at that point.

 

[melty]

Some stuff about hating "midlifecrisis-chan"

There's actually a pretty good story about this, and it's not just random saltiness against middle aged lolitas. Some older woman with no experience decided to start up a ~controversial~ feminist topic blog called "Darcey Grows Up" and one of her first topics was the lolita fashion community. She shit all over it, claiming all lolitas were dumb girls trying to appeal to men by looking like little children and would never be able to get jobs. She made a transformation video with her terrible "rori" style just to mock lolitas and call the fashion dumb.
Predictably this pissed a lot of people off. Many people reached out to her and tried to explain to her about the fashion and that many of them were actually pretty successful in life and shouldn't be judged by their clothing. A lot of lolitas are feminists and didn't appreciate that Darcey called herself a feminist, but shamed and attacked girls for wearing clothing they liked. Darcey was having none of it and whined about how the lolita community was cyberbullying her with facts and reasonable debate, blocked all further comments on her youtube and blog and continued to call lolitas anti-women pedobait and other insults.
A lot of people noted that her attacks were rather childish despite the fact her blog was called "Darcey Grows Up," spawning the name midlifecrisis-chan. Darcey has since deleted her blog.
Lolita fashion does skew young but most of the people who complain about older lolitas are teenagers who are jealous their allowance can't buy everything they want. There are a couple of 40+ lolitas who are very well respected.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Several years ago, /cgl/ used to be a female lolcow observation board, with lolcow threads being arguably more active than threads actually about cosplay or EGL. Pixyteri was the favorite topic and was anointed the queen of /cgl/, while a number of PULL lolcows like Venus Angelic and Dakota were also covered. After things went a bit too far with a lolcow called Luvmonkeys, moot shut down the lolcow aspect of the board. Those oldfags have a lot in common with kiwis, though I think the closest comparison I could offer is PULL.

Lolcow.farm/pt is pretty much the modern day equivalent. I don't think most of the people they post about are cows and there's lots of power leveling and general pettiness, but occasionally has some good stuff.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

These people just need to have a battle royal to determine who the prettiest princess is.

Stop pussyfooting around that shit.

 

[A.Shitposter]

So this thread isn't actually about any specific lolita it's just about them leaving really pathetic and petty comments about people anonymously on some shitty site? That's kind of lame.

I never knew this fandom was so big.
It's funny to imagine grown-ass women talking shit about each other while dressed up like 5 year olds.

EDIT: Who is midlifecrisis-chan and why does everyone hate her so much?

Midlifecrisis-chan is who they will be in the future.

The internet always makes everything 10000% more bitchy, no matter what the fandom. Anonymity is the key here. These girls would never dare say half the stuff they do if their names were attached - and to be honest that's not because they're cowards, I think all of us can relate to wanting to say things without our actual identity being linked to it.

I'm sorry but I don't believe this at all.

 

[Jashinist]

So this thread isn't actually about any specific lolita it's just about them leaving really pathetic and petty comments about people anonymously on some shitty site? That's kind of lame.

I'm sorry but I don't believe this at all.

What part don't you believe, that they wouldn't say this in real life, or that anonymity exacerbated the drama tenfold? Previous posters have talked about the fandom's history with 4chan and how much crossover there is, and how all fandoms back in the day had a "secrets" page (some still do, often on tumblr) but this one has stuck around for years basically fuelling itself from the anonymous drama.

Obviously there will be the general gossip from girl to girl about who's ita, who's wearing replica brands, etc - but the level of bullying and stuff that you see on BtB is not stuff that would be said in real life with names attached - that's why they say it all online.

 

[melty]

What part don't you believe, that they wouldn't say this in real life, or that anonymity exacerbated the drama tenfold? Previous posters have talked about the fandom's history with 4chan and how much crossover there is, and how all fandoms back in the day had a "secrets" page (some still do, often on tumblr) but this one has stuck around for years basically fuelling itself from the anonymous drama.

Obviously there will be the general gossip from girl to girl about who's ita, who's wearing replica brands, etc - but the level of bullying and stuff that you see on BtB is not stuff that would be said in real life with names attached - that's why they say it all online.

Moreover, most of the people posting this shit online don't even go to meets. It's happened many times that a vendetta-chan got outed as some random lurker who didn't even participate. Though not all the time.
It's easy to see the drama in the community but so often it happens that the people complaining about drama are the ones causing it. Of all the communities I've been part of, yeah there is some drama but it's overall been a really positive experience for me and I sincerely hope no one is off-put by this thread.
Also, you gotta post both parts of this:

They trollin

 

[Lugal]

Generally, how defensive do lolitas this whole deal? I ask because if they're as touchy as some fandoms or subcultures are, this could become a pretty epic thread.

 

[Jashinist]

Moreover, most of the people posting this shit online don't even go to meets. It's happened many times that a vendetta-chan got outed as some random lurker who didn't even participate. Though not all the time.
It's easy to see the drama in the community but so often it happens that the people complaining about drama are the ones causing it. Of all the communities I've been part of, yeah there is some drama but it's overall been a really positive experience for me and I sincerely hope no one is off-put by this thread.
Also, you gotta post both parts of this:

They trollin

Oh wow, were both parts posted the same week? I'm working my way backwards, I either am not up to that one yet/skipped it because it was wordy. Thanks for the context. I was trying to avoid the obvious troll posts but yeah, I messed up on that one.

 

[Jashinist]

Generally, how defensive do lolitas this whole deal? I ask because if they're as touchy as some fandoms or subcultures are, this could become a pretty epic thread.

To be honest, the Lolita fandom doesn't give a shit about what other people outside the fandom think. They do it to impress each other and one-up each other (at least those who post photos online and are involved with BtB, cgl, etc). I doubt any would come here to defend themselves, though I'm happy to be wrong. And remember, the ones that give a shit about bullying are the ones who are forced out of the fandom anyway, so the only ones entrenched in the fandom that would read this thread are likely the kind savvy enough to not care/not respond.

I wouldn't be surprised to see a BtB post about this threads existence or something though. That could be fun and start something.

Also just out of interest, this is their standard for "fat":

 

[melty]

Generally, how defensive do lolitas this whole deal? I ask because if they're as touchy as some fandoms or subcultures are, this could become a pretty epic thread.

People shit on lolita all the time, I wouldn't be optimistic about lolitas raiding kiwi farms, sorry

Oh wow, were both parts posted the same week? I'm working my way backwards, I either am not up to that one yet/skipped it because it was wordy. Thanks for the context. I was trying to avoid the obvious troll posts but yeah, I messed up on that one.

Oh no I don't blame you for skimming over that one, the 2nd half doesn't look particularly interesting. I liked it, thought was a bit more creative and funny than the regular b-t-b trolls, which are usually along the lines of "I had sex in my dress and sold it!!"

 

[Jashinist]

People shit on lolita all the time, I wouldn't be optimistic about lolitas raiding kiwi farms, sorry

Oh no I don't blame you for skimming over that one, the 2nd half doesn't look particularly interesting. I liked it, thought was a bit more creative and funny than the regular b-t-b trolls, which are usually along the lines of "I had sex in my dress and sold it!!"

Oh yeah, lots of posts like this:

So edgy and risque.

 

[HG 400]

If my daughter dressed like that I'd punch her right in the face.

 

[Jashinist]

I am so glad that you made this thread!
I have had a run in with them myself

Spoiler

I used to do gothic lolita and I was really into it. Being a fat chick, I didn't have the option to buy dresses so I made my own from scratch.
At my biggest con I wore a lace corset along with a dress I spent months making. My hair was past my waist at the time and its natural red color so I had it done in ringlets and my makeup was done by a friend who is a professional. When I went to the lolita photoshoot I had a more gorey/ dark theme than the others so I stood out more. People came up to me and my friend and the two of us got more attention by the photographers there than some of the con vets. When I went to spologize most of them were incredibly nice ad polite about it and complimented the two of us.
A few weeks later my friend decided to google their stage names and found a blog one of them ran.
It was nothing but this girl mocking other lolitas and critisizing them on everything possible.After a few pages the pic of me and my friend (with our faces blurred out) was up. Her comments consisted of how "horrible" it was to make lolita gory and violent, our bodytypes being wrong, and she even went as far as to mock my friend for a scar on her neck she got from being intubated years earlier.

Oh wow

You can definitely see the culture of paranoia when everyone's so nice to your face and then stabs you in the back online. Damn. I can see why so many of these girls are insecure and needing constant validation, because you can really doubt yourself when you're never sure whether someone's complimenting you legitimately or just so they can get a photo to scribble nasty things on later. And of course, if you're feeling insecure, you're more likely to lash out at other people who you perceive as being either better than you or lower than you in the pecking order... vicious cycle. Though of course, some people are just salty bitches regardless of their self-esteem levels.

 

[AveraDiane]

I am so glad that you made this thread!
I have had a run in with them myself

Spoiler

I used to do gothic lolita and I was really into it. Being a fat chick, I didn't have the option to buy dresses so I made my own from scratch.
At my biggest con I wore a lace corset along with a dress I spent months making. My hair was past my waist at the time and its natural red color so I had it done in ringlets and my makeup was done by a friend who is a professional. When I went to the lolita photoshoot I had a more gorey/ dark theme than the others so I stood out more. People came up to me and my friend and the two of us got more attention by the photographers there than some of the con vets. When I went to spologize most of them were incredibly nice ad polite about it and complimented the two of us.
A few weeks later my friend decided to google their stage names and found a blog one of them ran.
It was nothing but this girl mocking other lolitas and critisizing them on everything possible.After a few pages the pic of me and my friend (with our faces blurred out) was up. Her comments consisted of how "horrible" it was to make lolita gory and violent, our bodytypes being wrong, and she even went as far as to mock my friend for a scar on her neck she got from being intubated years earlier.

Yikes, I am sorry that you had to go through that. They were probably salty that you got more attention from the photographers.

 

[Jashinist]

Found a post of Christine-chan!

http://behind-the-bows.livejournal.com/91428.html

 

[Lovekindler]

What's your internet religion then?

Deagle nation (Opposition).

Another thing that I think is going on here is the "bitch I look better than anyone attitude" that these ladies hold. They are jealous of people who look better than them and rock the style better.

 

[fromthebowelsofthebizzare]

You know the more I read this thread the more I realize how realistic Audrey from Huniepop is.

 

[melty]

I am so glad that you made this thread!
I have had a run in with them myself

Spoiler

I used to do gothic lolita and I was really into it. Being a fat chick, I didn't have the option to buy dresses so I made my own from scratch.
At my biggest con I wore a lace corset along with a dress I spent months making. My hair was past my waist at the time and its natural red color so I had it done in ringlets and my makeup was done by a friend who is a professional. When I went to the lolita photoshoot I had a more gorey/ dark theme than the others so I stood out more. People came up to me and my friend and the two of us got more attention by the photographers there than some of the con vets. When I went to spologize most of them were incredibly nice ad polite about it and complimented the two of us.
A few weeks later my friend decided to google their stage names and found a blog one of them ran.
It was nothing but this girl mocking other lolitas and critisizing them on everything possible.After a few pages the pic of me and my friend (with our faces blurred out) was up. Her comments consisted of how "horrible" it was to make lolita gory and violent, our bodytypes being wrong, and she even went as far as to mock my friend for a scar on her neck she got from being intubated years earlier.

I'm sorry that this happened, but it seems a little strange to apologize to other people for getting more attention than them? Maybe I am missing some context. I'm surprised that girl posted it under her stage name.