Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[Hamsteroid]

At best he can do dumbbells but there is no way with that hunch back and bad knees/posture he can appropriate lift anything with a bar, even if he tried it must be with terrible form.

Russell doesn't need stupid bells or a bar (alcohol is for losers anyway), propping up his massive ego is all the strength training he needs.

 

[The Great Citracett]

He just has to stand near the end of the bar doing jumping jacks and squats or whatever while the hookers just have to stand there in a line and watch until he decides to choose one. Because that's literally their job.

Meanwhile he thinks he's wooing them and they're standing there watching because they're impressed.

 

[Pip Squeak]

He's delusional in addition to being an asshole. He thinks he's a handsome, studly fellow who writes music and is a ladies' man. Of course, in reality, he's dimwitted fool who alienates anyone he comes into contact with. I think my favorite example of his delusions is when he pesters Instamodels who have boyfriends who really are very fit and muscular and probably have a job that pays more than Russ's. When this is pointed out to him, he falls back on the old "no one will treat you better than I will!" which we all know is false. If called out on that, he doesn't know how to respond. He's like a bot. If you give him input outside his programmed responses he crashes. You can tell when he gets flustered by not having a response. That's when he starts with the insults and swearing.

Yeah, he's like a logic machine that's all busted up. Instead of a+b=c he starts with even the wrong input so comes up with 2+z=rice pudding. There is no convincing him his values are wrong in the first place, he just keeps expecting 'c' to output every time.

Man's a fucking idiot.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Yeah, he's like a logic machine that's all busted up. Instead of a+b=c he starts with even the wrong input so comes up with 2+z=rice pudding. There is no convincing him his values are wrong in the first place, he just keeps expecting 'c' to output every time.

Man's a fucking idiot.

I heard a great insult today, it's from Russia and it describes Russ to a tee. "Intelligent thoughts are always chasing him, but he is faster."

 

[Pip Squeak]

I heard a great insult today, it's from Russia and it describes Russ to a tee. "Intelligent thoughts are always chasing him, but he is faster."

Haha, that is spot on and I'm mentally filing it away for future use.

 

[AnOminous]

He just has to stand near the end of the bar doing jumping jacks and squats or whatever while the hookers just have to stand there in a line and watch until he decides to choose one. Because that's literally their job.

Meanwhile he thinks he's wooing them and they're standing there watching because they're impressed.

You have to wonder what they thought when suddenly in comes this deformed greasy midget in a suit that looks like it's been crumpled in a ball in a dumpster for a month and starts doing what looks like an epileptic seizure.

 

[DrJonesHat]

You have to wonder what they thought when suddenly in comes this deformed greasy midget in a suit that looks like it's been crumpled in a ball in a dumpster for a month and starts doing what looks like an epileptic seizure.

He refuses to learn that hookers don't need to be impressed or wooed. It would shatter his fantasy that he's the only the nice guy and the hooker was just waiting for him to rescue them.

 

[Pip Squeak]

You have to wonder what they thought when suddenly in comes this deformed greasy midget in a suit that looks like it's been crumpled in a ball in a dumpster for a month and starts doing what looks like an epileptic seizure.

This has always been one of my favourite and most enduring images of Pipsqueak's lore. It's sooo bizarre, it's ridiculously farcical and one of the funniest lol cow stories I've ever come across. I think only Staph's hand sanitiser moment is up there with it.

I'd kill to see the faces of people there to witness it. Ordinarily, I discount anything he says as pure bollocks but this is so retarded that I totally believe he did it. And if he didn't, I don't want to hear it.

 

[DrJonesHat]

This has always been one of my favourite and most enduring images of Pipsqueak's lore. It's sooo bizarre, it's ridiculously farcical and one of the funniest lol cow stories I've ever come across. I think only Staph's hand sanitiser moment is up there with it.

I'd kill to see the faces of people there to witness it. Ordinarily, I discount anything he says as pure bollocks but this is so retarded that I totally believe he did it. And if he didn't, I don't want to hear it.

Wasn't he afraid of sitting on the barstools for some reason?

 

[The Great Citracett]

Wasn't he afraid of sitting on the barstools for some reason?

Not sure if he was afraid, but he mentioned they're clearly made for fatty mcpatty truckers much larger than Russ himself.

 

[Pip Squeak]

Wasn't he afraid of sitting on the barstools for some reason?

Yeah, he said they were made for the big truckers, meaning they were too big for him to climb. More evidence in the short arse box for Pipsqueak.

 

[Constellationzero]

It's been rehashed to hell and back, but Russell thinking he's an Andy Kaufman "Shock Jock" always gets me laughing out loud. Notice this mong's "likes" i.e. Andy Kaufman, Billy Joel... stars people older than my definitely middle aged ass likes. And he trucks it out like a point of pride. It's his "Quirky."
But back to my point with shock jock-ing: I imagine butternut has pre-recorded fantasies about cutting up and leaving an entire bar in a fit of spastic giggles like he's Ron Fucking White or something. Like nah...
He refuses to even entertain the thought that other people know how to read a fucking room. Other people know how to keep their head down, stay quiet, and lurk--either at their new workplace, or wherever they're new in mixed company. You do it so you can get a gage on everyone's personalities, their likes/dislikes, and what offends them. It's part and parcel of "Let's not get fired on my 91st day."
But not the greasy pipsqueak. No, Russell just barrels on in making what are tantamount to outright threats, racist remarks, and sexual harassment all because he refuses--not simply fails to--but refuses to follow such a simple rule of thumb.

Like holy shit... it's why he got dickslapped in court over "There will be blood." He has absolutely no business trying to emulate the likes of Andy Kaufman, Rodney Dangerfield, or even (LOL) Sardinian faggot Anthony Cumia.

 

[DrJonesHat]

But not the greasy pipsqueak. No, Russell just barrels on in making what are tantamount to outright threats, racist remarks, and sexual harassment all because he refuses--not simply fails to--but refuses to follow such a simple rule of thumb.

I'll bet he's been canned for sexual harassment more than just the one time we know about. We heard about the time he was working in an office building and was going to another floor to harass a woman who worked there, and her boss had to ask his boss to make him stop. I dunno if he was fired for that.

 

[AnOminous]

He refuses to learn that hookers don't need to be impressed or wooed. It would shatter his fantasy that he's the only the nice guy and the hooker was just waiting for him to rescue them.

Or that you don't impress or woo someone by bringing $$$ when their price is $$$$.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Or that you don't impress or woo someone by bringing $$$ when their price is $$$$.

That was the best part of that fiasco. He seriously couldn't understand why she turned him away, they had an agreement! Of course, he didn't uphold his end, but details like that are lost on Russ. He didn't talk about that one at all, but we had someone who was linked to the brothels who got the story from someone who was there.

 

[moocow]

i always found this to be a dumb argument. of course car accidents kill more than plane crashes, there's like a million times more people driving around in cars than there are people flying around in planes at any given point in time.

It's a very sound argument. It's not a matter of how many individual trips are taken by car compared to trips taken by airplane. Per passenger mile, flying is far safer than driving. From this article:

Over the last 10 years, passenger vehicle death rate per 100,000,000 passenger miles was over 9 times higher than for buses, 17 times higher than for passenger trains, and 1,606 times higher than for scheduled airlines.

Emphasis mine. You're sixteen hundred times more likely to be killed traveling by car than traveling by airplane. That's a massive difference that's impossible to handwave away. There's a reason psychologists include safety statistics like these among the techniques they use to help treat people with a fear of flying. It's effective.

having a fear of flying is something i can understand. i don't share it, but i see where it comes from - once you're in the air, your fate is completely out of your hands. there is absolutely nothing you can do to influence it. very different to a car where you are in the drivers seat yourself (literally and figuratively) and can do whatever you think is best at any point in time. you're in a state of being in control, whereas as a passenger on a plane you're in a state of absolute powerlessness.

Sure, that's somewhat understandable. But if you're a passenger in a car, your fate is equally out of your hands. And even when driving, you're not nearly as "in charge" of your fate as you might think. You might be a safe, competent and skilled driver with fast reflexes and lots of experience to help you avoid accidents, but none of that is going to help you if, say, an asshole driving an 18-wheeler runs a red light and t-bones you on your way through an intersection.

Remember that people also use reasoning like this to justify not wearing helmets when riding motorcycles or not wearing seatbelts when driving (or riding in) a passenger vehicle. "I'm a good driver, I'm in control of my vehicle, and I can get out of anything that arises, so I don't need these safety devices." They still die all the same when someone else's driving sucks.

ETA:

He just has to stand near the end of the bar doing jumping jacks and squats or whatever while the hookers just have to stand there in a line and watch until he decides to choose one. Because that's literally their job.

You have to wonder what they thought when suddenly in comes this deformed greasy midget in a suit that looks like it's been crumpled in a ball in a dumpster for a month and starts doing what looks like an epileptic seizure.

I genuinely feel bad for prostitutes that work in brothels that make them do the whole "lineup" thing. I know that (at least on paper) they're allowed to refuse to service someone, but of course they're also aware that if they keep doing that, they won't make as much money or might even get the boot. So imagine having to stand in a lineup with other attractive girls (who are simultaneously your friends/coworkers and your competition) and get thoroughly eyeballed by all the random men who come in for "service." Imagine that sense of dread when you size him up, find him unpleasant, and then realize he's been looking at you more than any of the other girls.

It's got to be a hundred times worse when it's someone genuinely nasty like Russ, with a physical deformity that makes him look angry and unpleasant but also that greasy hair and dirty suit that demonstrates his lousy hygiene. You just know every girl in the lineup is thinking "oh god please don't pick me."

He refuses to learn that hookers don't need to be impressed or wooed. It would shatter his fantasy that he's the only the nice guy and the hooker was just waiting for him to rescue them.

He's got the strangest ideas about how prostitution works and what its benefits and drawbacks are. Like you said, the whole point of it is that you're paying to get laid without having to bother impressing or wooing the provider, and for an added bonus you don't have to worry about whether she's attracted to you. You show up, you pay the fee, you get your nut, and then you leave and go on with your life. She doesn't expect you to help clean up, stay the night (that costs extra) or cook her breakfast, and she won't call you the next day to ask how you're feeling about last night and whether you want to go out again.

Like Chef once said, "you're not just paying her for sex; you're paying her to leave afterward." (RIP Isaac Hayes) It's a great arrangement if you just want to get laid. It's a lousy one if you're hoping to find a girlfriend. It's "no strings attached" sex, and she doesn't want your strings.

And I still don't get why he wants to date a hooker in the first place. That's a woman who is literally guaranteed to not be faithful or monogamous. He's super-possessive even with women who don't even like him. I can't imagine if he somehow did successfully woo a hooker and she decided to date him that he would tolerate her having sex with other men. He knows how much he pays them for each visit, and he knows they (usually) get lots of customers, so he should be able to figure out he can't possibly replace that income for her to feel comfortable giving it up to be with him exclusively.

I imagine butternut has pre-recorded fantasies about cutting up and leaving an entire bar in a fit of spastic giggles like he's Ron Fucking White or something. Like nah...

"I had the right to remain silent, but I did not have the ability." Russ would do well to heed Mr. White's many wise words.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Russ doesn't shower

He needs the shower to "wash" his suit. A proper wooing gentleman such as he has gotta look snazzy for the ladies.

 

[DrJonesHat]

He needs the shower to "wash" his suit. A proper wooing gentleman such as he has gotta look snazzy for the ladies.

Yeah, he showed pics of him washing it by hand in a bathtub. According to people who wear suits, you're supposed to have them dry cleaned. Water damages the fabric from what I recall.

 

[Hamsteroid]

Yeah, he showed pics of him washing it by hand in a bathtub. According to people who wear suits, you're supposed to have them dry cleaned. Water damages the fabric from what I recall.

In Russ' case simply wearing the suit damages the fabric.

 

[DrJonesHat]

In Russ' case simply wearing the suit damages the fabric.

I forgot he's the Original Sweat Golem.