The Trial of Derek Chauvin - Judgement(?) Day(?) has arrived!

[Quixotic Man]

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"Ain't this so great! You get a FREE medical course! A FREE legal course! Ain't being a juror, grand! Hey, did you know you could 15% of more on riot insurance if you switch to Sneedco!?" Huh, George? What killed him? Drugs, CO2, Excessive Semen Retention, He's not actually dead and living inside of the defendent's asshole, controlling him like a robot? Who knows!"

"Just remember Jurors if you vote innocent and your identity gets leaked, a mob will probably show up at your house and try to burn it down. Just a consideration. That free ham sandwich, pretty great though, right?"

 

[Loosey Goosey]

Pretty sure that other black lawyer for the state is up next after this autist. Coming soon, "DIS NIGGA WAYCIST AND YALL WAYCIST IF YOU DON'T CONVICT!!!"

 

[brap_connoiseur_420]

I'm about to sleep. Hurry up with your snoozefest and get Nelson on to rock the courthouse with his charm and charisma.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

Is this a closing statement or is the prosecution testifying themselves now?

 

[Dr. Geronimo]

We all joke but it's scary that this shit may still decide the case.

 

[Bill The Fucker]

My firearm stocks are saying that the prosecution is fumbling the hell out of these closing arguments.

 

[Random Internet Person]

Dude, this feels like he's just telling the jury "You're allowed to vote guilty even though you know it's bullshit." He feels like he's fucking begging that the jury votes in his favor.

Does he need to beg? He's in the heart of the BLM movement, and we're almost reaching a year from when the movement hit its peak.

Keep in mind the defense has a limited number of “strikes” to use. If 9 got through there must have been some real stinkers.

I feel like that was the strategy the prosecution was using: let the defense use their strikes, and they can pack the jury with people sympathetic to wanting Chauvin guilty and being held accountable.

 

[MoeChotto]

Why did they pick Schleiter to do closing arguments? Hes the most condescending and reptilian one of the bunch. I would have preferred Edlridge the Crone over this guy

 

[Salubrious]

That... that is literally... THAT IS LITERALLY MAKING THE CASE FOR REASONABLE DOUBT!

I'm watching the FIDE Chess Candidates Tournament right now since it resumed today, and that makes more sense to me than whatever the fuck this prosecution is supposedly talking about.

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

Seriously, I'm trying not to be biased but how is there anything convincing in this closer?

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Get your Burger King crowns boys. Shit is going to pop off when this trial is over no matter what happens.

 

[aussiejinjo]

is Schleiter a

you know,

j

 

[Rekkington]

BAH GAWD! THE PROSECUTION IS TESTIFYING AGAINST ITSELF!

 

[gaystoner]

is it common in closing arguments to give the jury 'definitions'?

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Congrats, Floyd family (of illegitimates), this is your legacy you will take to the grave.

 

[luigismanslave]

Gonna get pizza at my favorite place for lunch because that place will be destroyed again this week

oh shit wanna meet up? I could use a bite before the city goes poof.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Seriously, I'm trying not to be biased but how is there anything convincing in this closer?

Open your eyes you can see him clearly killing him, use common sense.

Thats that’s literally the prosecutor’s closing argument.

 

[Salubrious]

You'll be shocked to know that Twitter thinks this closing argument is brilliant and that Chauvin is frantically writing on his notepad because he's a sociopath.

 

[Rekkington]

Could it be possible that George Floyd was gay, and died suddenly from too much gay sex? Reasonable doubt.

 

[reinigen]

Can't wait for someone to make a digital watchface of this.

EDIT: NIGGA YOUR GUY TESTIFIED HE HAD 98% BLOOD OXYGEN SATURATION