Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Vingle]

Is there any explanation for why being a fan of anime is high risk of being a troon? The japanese despise everything more than being gay.

 

[Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite]

Studies on trans people are horrifically hard to find as it's become impossible to say anything that isn't full acceptance of them, so we can take a guess but I don't think there is a formal study re: anime and troons.

My guess though is that AGPs may arise because of reality's failure to live up to a specific fantasy the individual has and can't locate in the real world. There may be something about anime women that they find attractive, a specific trait they want to see in women but doesn't exist because it's a cartoon representation. Their fixation on this begins to be something they wish to act out because they can't see it in the real world and the ultimate result is they must become the waifu.

In short, they are somehow more autistic than the post I just wrote.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Is there any explanation for why being a fan of anime is high risk of being a troon? The japanese despise everything more than being gay.

BSay it with me now: autism.

Other thoughts include:

1. Anime is popular online. Depressed and anxious people are more likely to be online as it doesn't require effort. Some of these people see anime, watch it, and enjoy it. Its a low effort hobby with a lot of fans who are also awkward as you are, so its easy to fall into. Trans people tend to have a comorbid mental health condition more often than not and share overlap as a result.
2. While anime is still seen as a genre in the west (a popular one, but not as a "western gunslinging animated show", its "anime show" to mom and dad), the diversity of shows old and new means there'a something for everyone, so it has a wide audience anyway.
3. Unfortunately, this includes shows for perverts as well. Hentai allows perverts to watch animations of whatever they want instead of pictures, so people drawn to more fantastical paraphinallia (eg magically transforming from boy to girl or monster girls) are more likely to find it. AGPs tend to overlap on that.
4. Troons multiply best in their home turf (heheh terf). Reddit, discord, & twitter are mostly ground zero dor this shit, so someone trying to talk about anime will eventually encounter a troon or 20 in the same thread as them. Troons then spread their gospel and convert more people into troonism in their own fandom, which includes anime (thus a self perpetuating problem).
5. They're fat and gay lul (have to cover it for completion's sake).

There might be other reasons but these are all I can think of.

Edit: point #3 was sniped before I hit send, glad I'm not the only deep dive autist proposing the theory here.

 

[Thiletonomics]

BSay it with me now: autism.

Other thoughts include:

1. Anime is popular online. Depressed and anxious people are more likely to be online as it doesn't require effort. Some of these people see anime, watch it, and enjoy it. Its a low effort hobby with a lot of fans who are also awkward as you are, so its easy to fall into. Trans people tend to have a comorbid mental health condition more often than not and share overlap as a result.
2. While anime is still seen as a genre in the west (a popular one, but not as a "western gunslinging animated show", its "anime show" to mom and dad), the diversity of shows old and new means there'a something for everyone, so it has a wide audience anyway.
3. Unfortunately, this includes shows for perverts as well. Hentai allows perverts to watch animations of whatever they want instead of pictures, so people drawn to more fantastical paraphinallia (eg magically transforming from boy to girl or monster girls) are more likely to find it. AGPs tend to overlap on that.
4. Troons multiply best in their home turf (heheh terf). Reddit, discord, & twitter are mostly ground zero dor this shit, so someone trying to talk about anime will eventually encounter a troon or 20 in the same thread as them. Troons then spread their gospel and convert more people into troonism in their own fandom, which includes anime (thus a self perpetuating problem).
5. They're fat and gay lul (have to cover it for completion's sake).

There might be other reasons but these are all I can think of.

Edit: point #3 was sniped before I hit send, glad I'm not the only deep dive autist proposing the theory here.

In addition to that, wouldn't the fact that Western media has been going away from the sex appeal factor, i.e. TLOU2's Abby, that still exists in anime, also have to do with the resulting trooning trend?

 

[Vingle]

In short, they are somehow more autistic than the post I just wrote.

Edit: point #3 was sniped before I hit send, glad I'm not the only deep dive autist proposing the theory here.

Really wish the anime-industry would be more based, but I have noticed more troon-friendly. Mostly SJW-friendly anime that is released.
Anime should've just continued being a very niche thing in the west.

 

[Storm_Provider]

My stories take place before i became a total "redbasedpilled" autist. Maybe that's the punishment i got for not being learning shit sooner.

Back when i still had discord (literally the dark ages), i used to talk to a girl i met on a gaming platform and we eventually became friends.
She told me she was trans (ftm) and had a family that dissaproved such thing, they thought it was a phase, yadda yadda. Despite all that, she was really sweet.
One day we were talking about something related to transitioning and i told her it was a very invasive procedure and started detailing stuff (carefully and kindly) and we eventually agreed on stuff.
She told me she wasn't sure about her troonism anyway and that maybe it was not the best choice to go through the process, life went on and we were happy.
About a week later, she became unresponsive on discord and her gaming account for a whole day, which became two days that later became months, now it's been years. We had no common friends, i learned about the full deal with troons around the time she was "away" and realization struck me like a bus.

Then i met my ex-gf and also lost her to LGBTQueerisms despite a healthy relationship.

TL;DR - the nightmare never fucking ends and i want to wake up.

 

[Lemmingwise]

I made a post about this in a different thread awhile back, so glad this one exists now. It's a long story so I'll just sum it up.

My brother was a good man. He had issues but he was my best friend. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he was planning to begin transitioning. Apparently he had been questioning for a year and didn't tell me until he made up his mind. At first I was cautiously supportive, but I now very strongly believe he was groomed into it by Reddit troons.

Furthermore, he descended into more and more destructive behaviors. Beyond starting hormones with no therapy (my dad says he saw a therapist once, got on estrogen, and never went back), he has been horrible with his money (this is a new thing for him), is posting edgyboi shit on Reddit, and was just completely reckless. He chose to come out by sending an email, then leaving the house in the dead of night to go off to New York to be with someone he met on the internet.

He says shit on Reddit that is just him trying to be edgy, such as talking about various ways to kill himself, how he's smoking again so he can use the cigarettes to burn himself with, and posting pics of himself in stockings.

He has decided to stop showing up to jobs and let himself be fired when he gets tired of a job. He gets to live with my parents rent-free and my mom in particular has been very defensive of his reckless choices. At one point he stormed out to stay with our grandmother because he didn't like my dad's Twitter page, only to come crawling back and manipulating his way back in when he found out our extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian grandmother is no easier to live with as an atheist troon than our extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian parents.

I think he's beginning to lose his mind, this isn't like him at all. I don't know what's wrong with him but he clearly needs help. Whenever I tried to suggest therapy he would throw a temper tantrum and tell me to fuck off. I finally had to pull away for my own sanity.

This has effectively ruined my mental health. 2020 might have actually been bearable if not for this. I spent so much time worried sick about him and having to navigate the minefield of SJW shit with it. After all, it's hard to seek out support when everyone thinks you're wrong if you aren't accepting. Even my therapist gave me pushback over all of this. Fortunately my boyfriend and many of my close friends were extremely supportive and that got me through it.

Right now, I don't know what's going on. Distancing myself was my only option and I'm not really interested in reliving all of that again by trying to talk to him about it. I tried everything I could and now it's up to him. I don't think he's trans so much as he's autistic and fell in with a bad crowd, but he doesn't want to hear that.

I recommend reading "combatting cult mind control" by steven hassan. It is aimed at scientology like cults of personality rather than reddit grooming, but there are a lot of similarities in how they operate (new name/identity, everyone is against us philosophy and so on).

It is full of practical and tried and true tips that helped the exit counselling of getting people to leave cults. It is never a surefire thing, but if you want to arm yourself, this is the way to do it and to make sure you've done everything you can do.

If you want to do something about it, or you want to understand how it operates better, I can't recommend the book enough. It also helps understand the perspective from the indoctrinated person. The person who wrote it had been part of a cult.

A small white pill. For me anyway. My brother and his wife have announced that they're sprogging a girl, and wouldn't you know it, my nephew is suddenly just being a boy again. His grandmother dropped the whole build-a-princess scheme like a steaming sack of flaming shit the moment she realised she'd have a new doll to play with.

White pill? I suppose it is good, but it also makes me pretty mad.

 

[teriyakiburns]

White pill? I suppose it is good, but it also makes me pretty mad.

I take what I can get.

 

[Aib Ld]

Honestly, she might have told him the same thing she told you. "Ad Lib is so mean 2 meee"

I am seething on the internet. Fuck her.

I feel. Have you seen a therapist about it? It helped me in a similar situation. Its hard to grow past abusers and easy to live in fear thanks to our gay ass brains. For now, I'm pleased to hear you're away from someone so toxic. You may not have chosen to cut her off but as you said, you won the battle. You can win the war still

1. I think so, she (lets call her 'T' for this) also played a part between us. Biggest example I can think where we had a movie party stream and that friend (lets call him 'C') invited another friend ('Z'). Z was the life of a party, full of banters on everyone, then T snapped at him for his 'offensive' jokes, C attempted to protect Z, and the movie stream was spent in silence while I presumed T and C had private conversations behind the scenes. Then we came to Kill Bill and T had to complain about the "My name is Buck and I'm here to fuck" scene. C simply said he would summon her back when the scene was over. So he did, and T still complained. Then we go to the 'buried alive' scene and T complained about her claustrophobia out of nowwhere (We didn't know about this phobia until that time). She wanted us to cut the movie. We kept going "its fictional" but she wouldn't have it. T dragged me away from the stream, both because I was her 'closest friend' and didn't want to ruin the movie for others. T and C even have private convos, because if I manage to banter and toss the rare joke at him while T is around, T would publicly say she needs him privately. I'm so sorry, C and Z. I didn't know any better.

2. I didn't even care about her personal issues, but what stood out among her many personal issues was that a few times she complained that her parents disapproved of her being trans. She also had a sister, so I really hope that sister wasn't infected too. And I sadly had to give up some of my small creations to her out of annoyance because they was so ruined by the changes that they couldn't be salvageable. Lesson learned. A few of them were my favourites before the changes too so that's an extra insult of injury.

3. Nah, I didn't visit a therapist about it because I thought it's dumb that I was so affected by a friendship. I kind of recovered somewhat, but damn it really messed with my mind where I still have tiny lingering thoughts of friends suddenly turning and doing a complete 180 without any warning whatsoever to this day. Thank you for your kind words too, they also helped!

 

[bluegenius8585]

Is there any explanation for why being a fan of anime is high risk of being a troon? The japanese despise everything more than being gay.

I think they end up fetishing anime girls and as such think they will end up looking like them

So at the risk of powerleveling somewhat (even though I have posted some of this stuff elsewhere) I think I should give my 50p's worth

About 5 years ago I had a shite relationship, stress and a lingering mental health issue that I tried to deny having and allowed it to spiral out of control. My partner at the time was uber woke, would probably fall into the Cow category if I am blunt. Anyway he kept on going on about Trans issues to me, I was indifferent, back then I just didn't care enough to have an opinion.

Anyway he got abusive and set off my decline into Troonacy, I was suicidal and ended up in the care of a very woke shrink who got me convinced that I was a girl in the wrong body using spurious justifications including:
*My Best friend is a girl
* I am attracted to other men (i know)
* Purple is my favourite colout
etc. and diagnosed me with GD and convinced me to troon out.

I sort of fell off the cliff, I was a complete wanker to everyone, I got violent when people would "dead name" or misgender myself. the HRT was fucking with the mood swings so I was a complete nutcase. When I started to get better I ended up questioning everything and the hatred/treats/harassment I deal with from the Troon lobby is depressing.

 

[Yinci]

Thinking about this forum a bit. I don't what I am doing with my life but you guys brought up some good answers.

So I've been thinking about Short Man Syndrome and It;s interesting how it's pointed out in many replies that MtF's are often short. For me I find other men towering and I can;t blame myself for feeling feminine as a result.

MtF's are obsessed with sex and cartoons and not sure what to say about my life but I can see how it could have happened. Before trooning out there was two MtF's I used to hang out with who were like serial killers. They had their own little world and they seemed to be friends in union almost and fucked with me like a bunch of psychopaths. I watched some anime with them and they noted how the girlishness of it and I saw someone note that possibly in this thread. I don't think they care about women as much as men and MtF's and seem to have a death fetish for men. (Might be over exaggerated)

I recently decided to think I am gay because I find myself infatuated with the MtF's world over actual women. I notice a lot of "normie MtF's" act like normie women and I find that cringe.

From my opinion there is a lot of categories that can be drawn.

 

[Wallace]

Nobody irl but an online friend.
One friend I had for seven years, and I nearly joined her. We met each other back at Tumblr, when I happened to post uncredited art of hers that I have saved and didn't know the artist, and she (She became a FTM but lets say 'she' for clarity throughout the whole thing) came to me, wanted to be credited. I was sort of naive back then, and added credits to the post. We met multiple times afterward, because our hobbies managed to match, and a friendship was born.
She was very shy and socially awkward and vulnerable at first, and then I thought I could ease her up by swallowing up my own shyness and telling her that she was an art inspiration to me. It eased her up.
We drew and made our own things and shared with each other and had a laugh.
Over the years, we managed to talk about our hobbies and whatnot, then later on, she stopped talking about hobbies and getting in more personal stuff. Mind you, I didn't know this was building up to her becoming trans nor did she mention any HRT and such so I kept going "Wow, your dad/mom sucks" when she kept saying one of them was 'mean' to her.
I had to disown a friend that joined us over time because she kept saying that he was 'mean' and so on. I honestly wish I could check back on that friend, but he probably cut ties with me. I wonder if he knew that I was misguided, but he didn't make any attempts to stop me or anything.
One time, she asked what is my sexuality and it took me off guard. I wasn't focused on dating at the time so I just shrugged at that. "Okay, you're asexual." I didn't know what it meant, but I went 'sure, lets go with that' to appease her. She kept saying that and I believed that I was 'asexual', not just not looking for anybody at the time.
She talked about binders out of the blue one day. All I said was: "Don't wear them too long, it will do irreparable damage". She got mad and we never had that subject ever again.
I couldn't have a friendly banter with her and do old jokes anymore past this point, and she would complain and snap that it was 'mean'.
Months later, out came the trans announcement.
She told me all about HRT, surgery, and whatever. I asked if she ever thought about her decision because it was so sudden and seeing the things they do are also irreparable, even pointing that breasts will never grow back. She ignored me and gave me all sorts of instructions and so on. And I still remained with her because I still wanted to appease her. The worst thing I ever done in her eyes was not treating her being trans as special.
She talked more about her very personal issues while all I wanted is to talk about video games. She made me change my stories and art to contain mostly gay or trans people or with no conflict at all, when all I wanted to is do my hobbies. She got mad when I didn't use her pronouns (he/him lesbian) when I only used her name. She didn't want me to have any opposing opinions from her, because "everything she says is right". Didn't want me to critize her art if I find a glaring anatomical error because her art also heavily degraded, and would snap at me with the classic "its my style" if I try.
And then I snapped at her months later, saying the friendship lately was heavily one-sided. She got mad, saying the whole thing was all my fault, then she said "we need a break". A few days were spent in silence and with other friends, but somewhere during the timeframe, she secretly unfriended me.
I don't know if it was stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, or what, but I came back to her after sitting on it for days, apologizing to her. She keep shifting the blame to me, and I kept apologizing (one of her points was that shes a self-diagnostic autistic). She said we can have our friendship back, and friended me. I was happy. I treated our 'new' friendship back in the old golden days before her trans shift with no response back from her, and days later, she suddenly unfriended and blocked me.

That pretty much opened my eyes to all the shit happened and be more aware, and that experience left me fucked up. Last time I saw her, she retreated back to Tumblr making OCs with the -sexual flags painted on them. I got no idea what happened to make her like that, but it feels morally degrading that I'm still nervous on other friends where I walk on non-existent eggshells on them because of her years later. It's like I won the battle, but lost the war.

EDIT: She also sent me pictures of herself randomly and I didn't even ask for them. I remember one of them was her putting her art up in a small art museum and her hair and lipstick was the brightest blue I ever seen. She was also fat, and she also complained that her doctor was 'mean' for giving her methods to lose weight since her other body problems was caused by it. Never tried to fix her weight, and she got surprised that her problems got worse over time.

This makes me think back to the Littman paper and the many psychological comorbidities that ROGD kids have. I'm still going with troonery as a maladaptive coping mechanism. The transgender self becomes a pseudo-false self designed to hide the pain from the injured true self. This would explain why reality intruding on troons is met with hostility that looks like n-rage. Like narcissism, troonery is highly performative, you have to keep reasserting that you are trans or otherwise committed to the cause if you want that flow of acceptance to keep the bad feelings tamped down.

 

[1440p Curved Monitor]

In my college years I associated and lived with a fair amount of troons and mentally ill people. My interests naturally attracted troons, and I'm honestly a bit surprised I never trooned out. So I've seen a fair amount of people troon out, but I only care about one of them.

Spoiler: Adam

Let's call him Adam. To be fair I should have seen this coming because he is a furry, has anxiety and ocd, but Adam is honestly one of the smartest and most talented people I know. He's athletic and a very good mathematician. Super likeable, easy to talk to, and very insightful. He's one of those guys that you wanna protect and treat him as your little bro.

Y'know how people who are exceptionally good in a few things almost always are exceptionally bad in a few things? Adam is one of those. Unfortunately he's a fucking doormat, can never standup for himself, and can never have his own opinion. I've showed to him many times that I support him and I'm loyal to my closest friends.

Adam and I lived together for two years with other housemates. Going from the first to the second year, I was planning on moving out by myself but the him and another troon (mtf) came along because we all hated the fourth housemate and I really didn't want to live alone. So we grab another person (who's an enby female) and the four of us live in a house. The other troons are disgusting to live with, I cannot stress it enough. They weren't like that before because they were in school but now they dropped out. Remember how I said Adam has ocd? Well it also applies to cleanliness. He washes his hands to the point where it's always chapped. The kitchen is a mess because the troons don't clean, so he doesn't cook for himself. He orders food from delivery apps at least twice a day or goes to the 24/7 gas station. If he has to cook, it's ramen. He rarely showered because of the disgusting bathroom and he can barely use the common areas. The state of the house is clearly affecting his mental health but Adam says nothing and the other troons know about his ocd but do nothing about changing their behaviors. Adam knows that it could be better, but is too anxious to say anything to people he's known for years.

Covid made his behaviors worse because he just isn't taking care of himself. He would sleep all day and play games on his laptop or browse Twitter. The enby one is "plural" and got him into the plural bullshit, and when they talk about it she and the other mtf clearly hugbox Adam. She talks shit about her parents and how much she hates them and how they don't give her money but got her dad buy her a $2.5k gaming rig. The mtf one wants to wear my skin, is in a codependent, mutually destructive, constantly high friendship with the enby one, and larps as an activist. I am the only functional one in the house and I can sense that those two are starting to be jealous at me because I also have mental health issues but I'm not floundering, I hustle and grind to get more opportunities, and I half call them out on their dumb shit and make them not leave literal razors on the floor. I'm also the only one consistently paying rent and the only one who isn't too "anxious" to talk to the landlord. I decide that I don't want to live in a dump anymore and stand up for myself and refuse to keep covering for them. I announce that I'm leaving and they try to slander me in our community but it doesn't work that well because I'm one of the nicest and most loyal people there.

Before I leave, I ask Adam once if he wants to come with me. I tell him that he knows that the state of the house isn't good for his mental health, and that it'll be cheaper. He says no and that he enjoys living here. Sure dude. I head out and later I notice on twitter he's changed his pronouns to they/them and unfollowed me. Knowing the other two they probably convinced him that I'm a terf (I'm as terfy as the average woman) and he believed it without realizing that I was the one who kept the other three afloat and was generous because I'm a nice person because he can't form his own opinions.

Adam honestly really had it going for him, and it's really tragic because he would be in a better position right now if he stood up for himself and put himself first. Like I honestly believe he would be a leading researcher in his field. I still occasionally look at his Twitter and he posts game progression stuff, furry shit, and normie lefty blm shit (which is funny to me because they all ganged up against the only black person but w/e). I think he's still on track to graduate, but he just needs to get out of that goddamn house and think for himself. I really care for the guy, but I think he's a lost cause because he just follows the crowd. I mean he and another lefty bro tried to tell me that we as a society don't have a need to distinguish sex right after I told him how women are oppressed because if their sex, so maybe I just need to get over it and cut my losses.

I also worry that my younger cousin whos about to go to college will troon out. He's a big weeb, collects anime figures, is into fighting games, and uses discord a lot, so I'm worried about if he's being groomed as those communities are full of the T.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

Knowing the other two they probably convinced him that I'm a terf (I'm as terfy as the average woman) and he believed it without realizing that I was the one who kept the other three afloat and was generous because I'm a nice person because he can't form his own opinions.

I'm sorry to hear that. That's one thing about people trooning out I never understood, how they are so willing to believe almost strangers while completely ignoring friends and loved ones who have been there for them forever. That must be some sort of mental defect, because it's really not normal.

I really hope your cousin avoids the troon crowd. All you can do is be there for him I guess, and be honest about what they are. Show him some threads here if you must.

 

[Wallace]

I'm sorry to hear that. That's one thing about people trooning out I never understood, how they are so willing to believe almost strangers while completely ignoring friends and loved ones who have been there for them forever. That must be some sort of mental defect, because it's really not normal.

I really hope your cousin avoids the troon crowd. All you can do is be there for him I guess, and be honest about what they are. Show him some threads here if you must.

It's scary how effectively a cult can fill a hole in someone's spirit.

 

[Ampersandy]

I've had a total of two friends turn trans, only to swiftly disappear into the void (aka. stop communicating entirely). Of course, before disappearing, their opinions would turn into weird, control-freak type statements. I was also, at one point, interested in/flirting with a girl who turned FTM.

Now, for a more uplifting tidbit; my girlfriend had an alternative gender thing going on when I met her, and now, after a few years, she's made a full recovery. At one point we had a pretty emotional moment, where she admitted to me that she was very grateful that I had made her question that stuff, and that she had no idea how her life would've gone if she had gone down that path.

 

[Govt. Shitposting Machine]

I have a couple of people who were in my life and trooned out but I'm not mentally prepped to bitch about that today, so I'll bitch about a mutual I follow since this one is interesting. Followed this chic because we had similar hobbies and political beliefs (sorta). Decent internet friend!

She grew up surrounded by homophobia, felt guilty for liking women and assumed she must have been a boy etc etc you know the usual FtM deal. Supposedly got sexually assaulted by a MtF and that's what made her seek out radical feminism as a way of comfort and trying to get her life back on track by detransitioning.
It's extreme but understandable given her circumstances and anyone who is in our kind of hobby circles sick of the troon shit probably saw that as a breath of fresh air kek.
Though over the course of interacting with her, I've seen her befriend other people similar to her growing up but who ended up transitioning to FtM anyway. And I swear to god this is like the weirdest instance of public grooming I've seen.
Like that one FtM is friends with a bunch of other MtF, so of course the entire group of trannies all start lovebombing her and flirting with her. Which is a deadly combo if you grew up touchstarved and neglected, most people know that.
Anyway now she thinks she's a he/him lesbian, quit her job and moved back in with her parents to start HRT instead of before where she was starting to live independently and accept the fact that she indeed, a butch lesbian, and stop self harming through drugs and other medication.
Like right now she just posted she's excited to see a new doctor for HRT because he's MtF, how the fuck am I supposed to react to this?

Sadly, since I want to remain on good terms, I can't exactly tell her "Holy shit you've basically undone your entire life for these weird internet troons" without her trying to cause a scene so I'm just kinda watching her from afar at this point.
It's frustrating to see this kind of shit happen and you can't call it out because you're considered a bad person for doing so.
Just wanna shitpost about weeb and tech shit without troons invading holy fuck

 

[It Burns]

I've only known two people who trooned out, but wasn't all that close with them, thankfully. Genuinely not looking for support myself here as I've found my own way of dealing with people destroying themselves over various things, but maybe someone will find bits of this interesting. That said, I can probably offer some advice; contact me if you want.

Spoiler: The First

The one I knew in person, he (MtF) is the son of two older family friends. At first he just struck me as your usual Asperger's autist who was socially awkward and just never knew when to shut up, then his parents started telling me about his cross-dressing and eventually started saying he's transgender. Before he started making that all official, for what that's worth, he had been having trouble keeping jobs, coming in very late, unwashed, that sort of thing. Eventually, that family got a bit more pushy about what they believed to be the case with gender dysphoria and it just became difficult to hang out with them, talk about world events, share some homemade food without things becoming awkward for some trans/gender based nonsense. These family friends had already dropped any effort to stay in touch with my parents the previous year for unrelated reasons, but maintained ties with me up until these events. We've known them for as long as I can remember and I would not have the quality of life I do today without them; it really is unfortunate for things to have fizzled out in this manner.

Spoiler: The Second

The second is more interesting because I managed to do a little Q&A on why she (MtF) transitioned. Turned out this wasn't something new and she had seen a therapist some time in middle school and was talked down, only to have something snap after high school and be reassured by a psych specializing in gender dysphoria that getting on HRT is the right course of action. Just a fun, little coincidence, I' sure. I asked why she wanted to transition and the answer was this: "Men are terrible and I do not want to be associated with them" and "I like women's clothing; it's just so much more varied and appealing." What really gets me, however, is this person didn't want to get a vaginoplasty because it's "scary," but is totally cool with getting on HRT, which has far more severe effects on one's body. My guess is that surgery is just so much more visceral and sudden than popping pills. She was also under the impression that existing fat stores would just move around to where they ought to be a woman. Maybe overexposure to social media, hentai, and written fiction in addition to an existing mental disorder/deficiency? Just all kinds of mental fuckery.

Spoiler: A Former Friend

Those two out of the way, there is one person I knew while going to university who's likely at risk of falling into this same mess within a couple years or so. We were rather close as well, best friends, maybe, so everything that happened to her that put her on this path is tragic to me on some level. Hell, I start shaking sometimes when I consider it all. The reason I say she's at risk is because she has a long history of crossdressing, has friends who transitioned, her being totally unfazed when finding out, has recently been diagnosed with severe autism, and she's surrounded herself with a hugbox of people who will not question any of her choices. Just as an example for that last point, she started posting things on onlyfans, her explanation being that jobs are hard to come by, and everyone she knows is cool with it despite it being obvious, at least to me due to how defensive she is about it, that it's rapidly wearing down whatever little psychological stability she has left. My guess is that once she can find a way to get on some sort of welfare, she'll drop onlyfans and start taking HRT, living out the rest of her life renting a basement.

As much as I'd like to help her in some way, she's made it clear that she's bent on burning herself out over what she thinks is sustainable independence. In hindsight, I really should have known better; I've seen enough people I care about self-destruct that I've gotten a sense for the signs. I've also learned that there's no point in putting effort into someone this deep into whatever personal crusade they think they're fighting as I'd only be doing harm to myself stressing over it all in the long run.

To paraphrase someone earlier in this thread, "you can't unfuck a train wreck."

 

[Based Coffee Man]

This is more of an indirect future loss, I guess.

Buddy of mine started dating a FtM earlier this year, idk how far into the transition they are because they're the fat kind of androgynous. FtM troons are generally less autistic about the whole ordeal but this one makes it their personality. Comes up every god damn time we do something as a group, and gets a solid minute of dead air. We play the pronouns game and treat them fine, because they are still a person, it just gets grating after a while. Other friends are too polite to say anything and it's not really a fight I want to have with someone I've known for like a decade. Just worried that down the line, if they're still dating, FtM troon might 50% themselves and fuck my friend up real bad. Love him like a brother and he's depressed as all hell normally.

 

[1440p Curved Monitor]

Anyway now she thinks she's a he/him lesbian, quit her job and moved back in with her parents to start HRT instead of before where she was starting to live independently and accept the fact that she indeed, a butch lesbian, and stop self harming through drugs and other medication.
Like right now she just posted she's excited to see a new doctor for HRT because he's MtF, how the fuck am I supposed to react to this?

See, this is something I don't get about troons. Like your friend was independent and was getting her life back on track... And then she slips into a body mod cult, moves in with parents and probably doesn't realize how her life was better before. Almost all of the trans people that I known had their life get worse after transitioning. People I know dropped out of school, lost their jobs, broke up with partners, got addicted to drugs, etc. It's baffling. Transitioning ruins lives.